Mental Strength

I am still taking my Quran and arabic classes.

While my Quran lessons have been progressing forward, I am sad to say my arabic class have regressed. I have cut down to one arabic class and I am only learning Quranic Arabic*. And even then, I am making a hangat-hangat tahi ayam effort for it.

So I had exam last week. As expected my arabic results does smell like a warm tahi ayam and it is not the flowery kind mind you.

I do, however, put a considerable effort on my hifdh classe. Signing up to any other classes that I can. Because, I have to tell you now, it is not easy. Allah Mustaan.

I often read some simplistic tips that people give for one to memorise that go something along this line : One ayah a day and you will memorise the Quran in XX number of years. If it's that easy, then perhaps yeah, but truly the effort goes beyond that.

First you need to memorise the new ones. Meanwhile you must make a huge effort to retain the old ones. The more you go, there will be more old ones. You must remember all of them. This include you should not miss any harakat, you should not be confused with the word 'wa' and 'fa' or omitted or added them to your whimsical desire. or confuse 'hum' and 'kum' or is it 'ka' at the end of the word. You must not mixed up all ayat that are similar but are found in different surah.

Meanwhile the teacher will give you longer new ones because your brain is also doing weight lifting.

And all of these require a huge amount of time in your day.

I am not complaining, mind you. I do enjoy it. It's the best distraction that I need. Everyday you learn something new both in the Quran and also about yourself.

And certainly I am finding out something about myself. Mostly it is very humbling because I know now, I taklah pandai mana pun. And secondly many times you'll learn something in this surah and you will find something bigger in another. Then I learn to shut my mouth because I know, that I do not know much (making it difficult to blog).

But now, at this very moment, I need to learn to have mental strength.

You see, when practicing in the class or reciting in front of people, I could usually be fluent and actually feeling the ayah while I am reciting it. This is when you'll find that your tone is just right and words just come out smoothly.

In the exam room though, I became almost blank. I make mistakes major and silly. I got confused. I feel there is a voice (Insya Allah not schizophrenic), so what's the next word, this is difficult. What is it? what? what? I will forget. I will forget . these are chants in my head making a mantra.

This year-end exam was quite a disaster. I forgot the simplest of ayah. I got stuck here and there. My tajweed pusing-pusing macam gasing.

Perhaps I am not asking Allah enough. Or have been neglecting some duties. Or are not sincere enough. Not making repentance enough. Or all these combination above. Ya Rabb I ask for taufiq and hidayah.

And also I need to find mental strength and learn not to allow my nerves get over me. I need to be in control of my mental strength to be in a battle. The battle is in my head.

I ask Allah to open this door for me. This is on top of other effort that i should do. If you have suggestions, I welcome them.

But meanwhile let us hold on to this. Many times repeated in Surah Qamr.

And We have certainly made the Qur'an easy for remembrance, so is there any who will remember?

I am certain, that this journey will reveal me more of my inner layers and I must learn to deal with. Surely there is no success without pain. Ya Rabb send me guidance.

*Quranic arabic concentrates mostly on grammar thus you will learn why is the harakat the way it is and so forth. The downside is you will probably not learn much on how to speak or construct a sentence or even know many vocabularies. It helps the memorising though. 

Bouncing Back Up

I finished my final arabic exam today. Alhamdulillah

P H E W

What a year! Subhanallah I can half way understand the meaning of istiqomah in learning this deen because this year alone I have been fighting between myself not to quit the arabic class. Sometimes I felt really stupid, but upon some jolt by the teacher, then I find something exciting about it. It usually comes in the form of an exciting and doable challenge.

But for the past month, I suppose  my mind has been swirling. I couldn't conetrate much.  Most of free time is spent on scouting for a house on the internet and on the road, calling people, calling agents, visiting houses scouring residential areas but did not find anything to my liking. As much as I have said, it's ok, we will find one, but the prospect looked quite bleak. The price also has hiked up.

In the midst of this, was the looming exam.

And everyone else seems so competent.

I got tense up. In fact in one of the arabic classes after reading out my very weak structured essay, I could not concentrate anymore. I couldn't hear what the teacher was saying and sat there dumbly refusing to cooperate with the teacher.

That must be, sadly to say, my lowest point of eemaan. Yeah I snapped and I am not proud of it.

I went to see the teacher and apologised for my strange behaviour. I told her how I find it difficult and the fight I am having to quit. She babied me and gave me words of encouragement (despite me being rude earlier).

I had a lot of time thinking and thinking and making self retrospection and weight quit and no quit.

I thought perhaps I can finally listen to the arabic lessons online - a one to one lesson. This will be more beneficial to me as it follow my pace.

Maybe a private teacher. Hah! Good idea! At least it will help me build up sentence like school kids not big sentence like what I have now.

Maybe I should take a break and studied properly what i have learned. You know I have been rushing to learn, but had no time to absorb.


But I decided not to quit.

Because this self studying is like lying to self when it comes to me. I know I wont have the discipline doing it alone.

Because If I don't stay on this opportunity, I will never get it.

Because I shouldn't be so stress. I have learnt a lot of words compared to four years ago.

Because did I not find sweetness in reciting or listening to a quran recitation and understand the meaning allatul (immediately)?

Because nothing in the world is achieved without struggle.

Because I have health.

Because Allah has given me means - wealth, understanding husband, brain to use, hands to write, eyes to see, ears to listen I shouldn't be wasting this blessings.

Because I desire learning the quran so much.

Ya Rabb, make it easy for me.

SO I finished my arabic exam today. I don't know whether my short essay is ok or not but it's ok even if it is not the best. If not for the hardship and cries and tense, i wouldn't be able to come up with words to write "the difference in dealing with the youth and little children."

Alhamdulillah ya Rabb. 

Sod Lam Kha

I just finished my arabic exam. By the end of the two hour exam, my neck became stiff, out of stress looking down on the paper. There were two short essays of which one of them I err memorised beforehand (because I target it will come out and it did). But I am not saying it will be good though. Another one was an impromptu one about the kaabah. Insya Allah khayr.

So in the spirit of learning arabic, not that I am good at it, but I thought of sharing. One definitely cannot learn arabic using the transliteration. One must know how to read arabic from the font itself. Only after that, the words will jump at you if you look at it with contemplation and reflection. And that is just by tracing a word to word arabic word in quran without actually learning arabic formally.

For example if one transliterates the word 'ilm. You cannot tell that the word 'ulamak, 'alam, 'ulum, mu'alim are the derivatives of the word 'ilm. But you can sort of tell when you read it in arabic.

علم علماء عالم علوم معلم

Most arabic words are derived from a three letter word. For example 'ilm (علم) is the three letter word and from it other derivatives can be made as the examples above.
Can you spot the similarities?

Most of the times the meaning are similar. However any change of tashkil or harakat or baris can sometimes make the meaning difference. And that is why it is important to recite the quran correctly and to not make mistake in the harakat.

عالم can be read as 'alam or 'aim. The former meaning world and the latter meaning the one who knows.

I use to wonder how do the arabs understand or even read their paper without harakat. But slowly I am beginning to get the feeling of it. You have to know the word and also the context of the word in the sentence. Knowing grammar of arabic helps you to know the harakat of the letters also and is really important in understanding the meaning of the quran.

Anyway, today I just want to bring you the word soleh. صلح

The word صلح is usually translated as righteous. Or in malay just plain soleh/ salih.
The root word (صلح) actually carries the meaning of rectification, and being worthy or suitable, etc.

If you notice in one of the morning adzkar,

ياحـي يا قـيـوم، بـرحمـتك
استـغـيث، اصلـح لي شَ ـانـي ِ
كلـه، ولا تكلـني الى نفـسي طـرفة عـين

Ya hayyu Ya Qayyum birahmatik astaghis, Aslih li shakni kullahu wa la takilni ila nafsi torfata ain.
O You Who is Everliving and Sustains and Protects everything, I seek assistance through the means of your mercy, rectify for me all my affairs and do not leave me to myself,even for the blink of an eye.

The word aslih أصلح is translated as Rectify.


Then we have the word amilus solihat عَمِلُواْ ٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتِ

solihat is صالحات

this is derived from the word صلح

وَعَمِلُواْ ٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتِ - amilus solihat is translated as good deeds.


Why Allah calls it solihat – because the deeds make them proper and good. The deeds are to correct and rectify the person. It makes them good and rectify the world affair and akhirat.

What it also means is doing deed that will rectify you so that you become among the solihin (صاليحين). The soleh people (solihin is the plural for soleh) are the people who did deeds that rectified them and they become those who are rectified or those who are worthy because they are rectified.

Becomes worthy for what? Rectified and only then will be يصلح suitable/ worthy/ fit to be among Ar Rahman in His Jannah.

Jannah is only for the one who are rectified and had taqwa and did deeds that rectified them and made them worthy.

Jannah is only for the righteous people who had taqwa and did righteous deeds.

Jannah are for the صاليحين who had taqwa and did عَمِلُواْ ٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتِ. They become يصلح for jannah with the mercy of Allah

May we be among them.

While I am At That

While I am lamenting about my arabic class, I would like to share bits here and there of some arabic words that I learned in the Quran (from my teachers). My knowledge is limited though, I am just sharing what I learned so perhaps it may give you benefit Insya Allah.

Referring to Surah Baqarah verse 23

وَإِن ڪُنتُمۡ فِى رَيۡبٍ۬ مِّمَّا نَزَّلۡنَا عَلَىٰ عَبۡدِنَا فَأۡتُواْ بِسُورَةٍ۬ مِّن مِّثۡلِهِۦ وَٱدۡعُواْ شُهَدَآءَكُم مِّن دُونِ ٱللَّهِ إِن كُنتُمۡ صَـٰدِقِينَ

And if you (Arab pagans, Jews, and Christians) are in doubt concerning that which We have sent down (i.e. the Qur'ân) to Our slave (Muhammad Peace be upon him ), then produce a Sûrah (chapter) of the like thereof and call your witnesses (supporters and helpers) besides Allâh, if you are truthful.

The word that I would like to bring your attention to is ROYB. In the english quran translation it is translated as doubt.

The arabic word for doubt is also syak. Yeah like the malay word - syak wasangka. But Allah choses the word ROYB for doubt.

Royb means doubt but that which causes turmoil and unrest in the heart. The kind of doubt that will shake a person and causes confusion and anxiety. According to scholars of tafseer (We used Sheikh Saadi and Sheikh Uthaymeen) why Allah uses roib?
Because the doubt they are having is doubt to their own creator. These doubts that they have causes much turmoil in their heart and also fear.

Among the meaning of the Quran that are lost in translation.

Mari kita belajar bahasa arab.

Progress Kelas Bahasa Arab

This is my fourth year learning arabic and without shame I have to say it is getting harder. T__T.

The articles they gave us gets longer with smaller font and difficult words. The comprehension gets trickier too. What is worse is, they have changed they teaching style too. All these while, we have been paying attention mostly in the grammatical aspect of arabic. Why fathah, why kasrah and why dommah. When we say muslimun, when we say muslimin and when do we say musliman for example. Thisis easy (relative) for me because it is like maths. This and this and this become these.

However this year, they changed the system and force us to make impromptu paragraphs or conversation or stories. In short they force us to speak and write. This is hard for me because I do not possess many vocabularies at all and when I do need these words, i cannot use it in proper context because to write a sentence you cannot just have a knowledge of the root word but you need to know how to apply all the grammatical knowledge correctly into the position of the word in a sentence.

To add to my already blurness, is, all my original classmates are all gone. ALL of them. There are new ones who have been studying ARABIC in the university, DIPLOMA in arabic. Who were senior students who decided to lepak in the class because there are no more arabic class for them, who speak arabic as their mother tongue language.

They have no problem whatsoever to understand article, or make conversation or write paragraphs.

Just last week, we were going through a particularly difficult article (for me). Everyone understood it at one go. I kept having to ask the teacher, what does this mean, what is this and this and this. I kept interrupting the class because I do not know anything. This has been going on for each arabic class but I felt last week was the max of it.

That day also we had to read out a paragraph that we wrote at home and mine was just b a d. The sentences were weak and didnt make sense. You can partly blame it on google translate. (poke eyes)

My ears began to turned red and my cheeks became birat out of flushness. My head felt like it was boiling to burst. It was so overwhelming that I felt like crying. Tears were already welling in my ears. I didnt by the way.

I went home feeling frustrated with myself. Frustrated. Stupid. Slowest.

Each morning before going to arabic class was a heavy chore to me. And the same as today. I am toying the idea of quitting this class and go back to the lower level. They are also doing conversation and writing but in short sentences. Perhaps I can pick up more vocabularies there. The only thing that is stopping me is I really do not want to kecikkan hati my current teacher.

Sigh

Today was another arabic class day. Drag my fat arse out of the house and fight shaytan who keep telling me to quit altogether so I would have time to do other things that are also important.

Drag drag drag.

Oh another new long article today with new words.

But today I decided, you know what, to hell if I sound stupid or feel stupid. I decided I want to take advantage of being the slowest student in the class. To ask and ask ask. The advantage of being the one who knows the least is the teacher kept talking to me and speaking slowly for me. Eyes contact and all. So I am just going to bulldoze this and take the opportunity of being the limelight in the class.

We had to write a short paragraph today. Impromptu one. Oh no! I need the Google translate thing. And we were supposed to write about our opinion on globalisation because that was what the article was about.

Oh well. I decided to write a three sentence paragraph in english and translate what I can.


.في رأيي، لا نستطيع أن دفع العولمة إلى الأبد
.العولمة تدخل الى بيتنا مع الشبكة الدولية والتلفاز والصحف
.هذا الوقت لكل المسلم لتقوية ايمانهم لفصل بين الحق والباطل


In engish it is SUPPOSED to sound like this

"In my opinion we cannot push away globalisation forever. It is coming to our house through the internet and television and the newspapers. However, it is the time for each Muslim to strengthen their eemaan to (be able to ) separate the truth and false."

I wanted to write further that we should take the opportunity to spread islam and introduce Islam as a beautiful religion and not the religion of terror. But I forgot the word "Opportunity" in arabic. LOL.

I know the arabic work I did is actually entah apa-apa lah. The arrangement of words are weak. But I am feeling elated still because I didnt use Google Translate (poke eyes poke eyes) and it is somewhat understandable.

After weeks of feeling down and stupid, today I felt great. The sun is shining and I can see clearly now. After asking Allah to make it easy for me and to decide whether to quit or not, I am deciding to remain in this level for longer.

In the words of my lover, "kayuh perlahan-lahan, you'll get there."

Mind Your Language

I love my Arabic Class this time round!

I told you earlier that my new teacher speaks only arabic and when she does it, she does it slowly and ever so patiently. Allahuma Bareek.

Sometimes at the end of the class she would give us tadzkirah. Most of the time I do not know what she says but I do get the gist of it especially if she narrates hadith that I already know in english. A bit cheating but I must say the hadith does sound much better in Arabic.

She also makes us converse in arabic. She would ask to describe our weekends. She makes us write us short scripts, make sentences, write short essay or just hear her read aloud and answer some questions.

Sometimes she would laugh watching us trying to get the arabic words whle at many times she would look confuse with what we said.

I wonder whether she she feels like Mr Brown in "Mind Your Language" sitcom trying to teach us Arabic.

Tips dari Buku Sekolah

Hokeh my class is back on after months of being dormant! Alhamdulillah.

I have a new arabic teacher. She is new to the centre. A well experienced teacher I heard. But she hardly speaks any english. Oh dear. But she helps by saying things slowly and Insya Allah is very patient.

So today, my second day, and there she goes talking ever so slowly and repeating them again and again while i ternganga all the way. Allah Mustaan.

Anyway she understands that most of us can read very well. We can do the grammar works. in fact some say better than the arabs. But we still lack in vocabs and very weak in listening and speaking. This is mostly because this centre caters for mothers who go only for four hours a week and outside those time we don't speak any arabic at all. What to do? Where got arabs want to speak to us?

Anyway, thought of sharing this excerpt from my lesson today. A dialogue betweeen two students about learning arabic.



One of the students told the the other that she cannot speak in arabic. And that she want to make her Arabic language good. This is the advise of the other student,

"To memorise the quran. To learn some Prophet's hadith and to speak Arabic alot."

I just want to highlight to you about the memorising the quran. There are tremendous benefits in doing so. Of course when I write this to you, it is like a tongue in the cheek situation, for I have not memorise much but Insya Allah, i pray that this would be possible.

We must start with something. At least that something is better than nothing. And that something will lead us to more and will drive us more towards knowing Allah's words by heart and practising it too.


Contemplate this hadith

It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It will be said to the companion of the Qur’aan (i.e., the one who memorized and studied it): ‘Read, advance in status and recite as you used to do in the world, for your status will be commensurate with the last aayah that you recite.’”

I cannot get over this hadith. Imagine standing before your Lord, the one who creates you and being told to recite the quran in front of Him. Imagine you will be reciting it just like you recite in this world and for every ayah you recite, your level in akhirah will be increased.

subhanallah, reciting in front of My Lord the Compassionate teh merciful. reciting His own words?

And what if we are having difficulty reading the quran,

It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The one who recites the Qur’aan and learns it by heart, will be with the noble righteous scribes (in Heaven) and the one who exerts himself to learn the Qur’aan by heart and recites it with great difficulty, will have a double reward.”

Do you not agree with me that much of our time is wasted for senseless reasons. We run our emotions low listening to sappy music and watching depressing series. Our heart is sadden and wasted for reasons not taking us anywhere closer to Allah.

The tip from the book is to memorise the quran to improve your arabic. But I can tell you many more greater benefits in memorising the quran. For akhirah. And when you chase the akhirah, guess who will come running after you?

The dunya my friend.

Jom kita memorise the quran.

End of the Academic Year

It's the end of the academic year for me here.

Sad to say, I have to inform you that I didn't do too well in my arabic nor in my online class lesson - bulugh Maram. I did fairly well on both my theory tajweed exam and the memorisation. Alhamdulillah.

I am such a clutter brain and was feeling overwhelm nearly all the time. I feel that I could not concentrate on learning ad remembering facts. Allah Musta'an.

Apa-apa pun exam dah over. I can't wait for the K@FA class to be over. I spent long hours writing the notes for the children. We do use the book but I take pity on them because I think many of them could not grasp the english in the book. Each time I tire or feeling overwhelm and feeling like I need to do something else for myself and I would say, "Agghh why bother!" But then, I just can't teach when I think they would not understand. May Allah put barakah on my time. How other successful people can do so many things and achieve so much? Maybe they don't blog and they don't facebook. Hmm

Feeling like i have so many things to do for this coming holiday. So many projects that I am thinking of. Do I have that discipline?

OK anyway, end of the year. So many parties to attend. So many presents to give. Of which none can be the best of reward to all the teachers who have been teaching us. The best of reward for them will be from Allah alone. May Allah reward them in abundance.

I am trying to perfect my pavlova. Still not there yet. So waiting for another party when I can whipped up another pavlova until I am satisfied or I tire. I hope the former comes first.

Half of the Exam Done

I just finished my arabic exam today. And I find it H A R D. Subhanallah I had been crunching the difficult i'rab looking at all the present tense rules and the past tense rules, at different cases when verb comes first or noun comes first. So I sort of overlooked the really easy ones especially the one that I don't think will come out (because it has never been stress and also it is not purely i'rab). What do you know? The easy ones came out in total of six questions! I got all of them wrong. And to add to it are questions that I do not know at all.

I was frustrated of course. Qadr Allah.

I still love learning the language even though it is getting a toll on me and a test on steadfastness indeed.

What is done is done. Few more exams to come. And this one I reckon will be quite tough too. It is memorisation from the Juz Amma. The test format would be like the usual memorisation test that is to randomly mention a verse out of the surahs in juz Amma, and for you to continue it.

It is easier if they just tell you to recite a particular surah from the beginning, but to continue from a random ayat is another challenge altogeher. What more to a rusty brain like mine.

Why just the other day, I was asked to continue reciting from a random verse in surah al a'la, and I found myself going everywhere reciting verses from other surahs instead.

Allah Musta'an.

Regardless of all those, I ask Allah that he brings me good knowledge that is of benefit, a good provision and deeds that will be accepted.

_______________________________

I am putting here a clip that i received ages ago.

The following is a clip of a brother who is mentally challenged and is even not able to put his shirt back if he takes it off, but look and listen how he is able to continue any words that he hears from the Quran!

They ask him about the name of the surah and number of the surah and how many of this statement is mentioned in the Quran, and they gave him among the hardest verses to recall and remember since there are several ones in the Quran and one might get confused between them.

It is amazing how he is not able to answer the questions he is asked properly but the minute he hears a verse or a part of a verse as if you hit the play button in his mind and he starts reciting.

Subhanallah! May Allah preserve him.

Bakar Semangat

Subhanallah! I am feeling overwhelm. It's like I am chasing things but it always slip off my hand.

Perhaps the lessons are getting tougher. And Subhanallah things are always piling up. One will always be busy. And one will get busier and continue to be busy.

This is what I said to the girls in the teenage group that I handled before (not anymore). they didn't believe me. They think that their busy studying for exam is the ultimate busy of their life. Ever!

And I smiled at them for I have eaten loads of salt and I know that these girls whose life are in the best comfort life can give. Chaperoned everywhere. Kerja rumah pun minimal. Schooling international. Busy?

They wouldn't know they will get no less busy than what they have.

So many knowledgable people have attained the best of family life, the knowledge of the deen and the knowledge of dunya and can still manage their life. Do they have 24 hours like me? Allah Mustaan. May Allah put barakh in my time.

In short, take care of your time. take beneficial knowledge. Because dunya will get busier. make time, then you will have time.

Anyway, just something to burn the semangat for me. The comment says it is a funny video.

Then why am I crying?

Matahari sudah bersinar kembali

I think my arabic teacher is realising something about the class. She must have noticed our blur faces. Two have quit the class. And a few more have said to me they are planning to do the same.

So last Monday she slowed down. Alhamdulillah. And the information she plans to give is little by little. She slowed down also on describing the nitty gritty details of the kana sisters and the i'rab(arabic grammar. You will find the word kana alot in quran). Instead she focused on vocabularies and encouraged us to build sentences describing pictures or giving opinions.

I went to talk to her to say thank you to her. i told her how much i love learning the language but understandably twice a week lesson won't be enough to expect all of us to be so fluent. She is a new teacher as in this is the first time she teaches non arabs. She realises also that non arabs observation on the language is different than the arabs themselves which she is slowly learning.

Then we can help each other. For her to be a better teacher as well as me to be a better student. Alhamdulillah.

The arabic classes here are the best for me. It suits my timing as a mother who has free time ONLY in the morning. It is for non arabs. And most of all, the classes are filled with reminders about Allah. At the end of the class, the teacher would pass out hadith. My arabic teacher would give hadith in arabic (without harakat) for us to read. I myself just hentam most of the arakats (of course strong sound i'rab will help you to read :P) and she will explain the meaning and peel short lessons from it.

I really love this. I love it so much that each time I think about it, I feel like crying. Even the books we used, the articles that we need to read would always include hadith or quran verses. May Allah bless them with manifolds of hasanat and bestow on the ilham to spread the deen.

Learning arabic languages at most places would be like learning any language but in the centre I am learning, it is really learning the language of the deen. (I am sure in malaysia is the same). Insya Allah tak mau quit!

So if i am not happy, I will tell (the teacher and err put a post here) because I want to stay as long as I can. Allah Musta'an.

Today's classes were great. We talked about good food, bad food. Describe pictures. Laugh. I can make jokes again. I had a great time even though more than three quarter of the words in the article are still alien to me. :P

Of course she ends the class by telling us there will be exam after eid.

Don't wanna be friend lah like this.

Ash'uru bissuda'

I have a headache.

Subahanallah! The arabic class is now a challenge for me.Each time I finish the two-hour class, I have a headache. This somehow affected half an hour of my tajweed class which is after that.

I am finding my new teacher difficult to understand. She is also teaching in almost all arabic. And I find myself with vocabularies that are totally alien to me. I admit, arabic was easy(ier) for me earlier because I had a head start with some words.

My new teacher loves teaching grammar.For each new paragraph, she would be making i'rab (sectionalising every word with grammar rules), and it is making my eyes juling. Pages and pages of i'rab. And worse i find it hard to do the grammar rules when i do not know what the words mean. Huhuhuhu.

This month has been most bercelaru-in-the-head month. I am trying to cope with all the classes and the homework. Subhanallah! Allah musta'an.

It does not mean I want to give up. I am reminded that there are beautiful times when I read the quran, and I am beginning to understand the verses. It started perhaps with one word and sometimes it is the whole verse. No I am not into making i'rab of the quranic verses yet. And this (understanding the meaning of the verses without looking at the translation) is a big reward for me. Alhamdulillah.

I think I need to change attitude.
Errr I think i should be studying.

Lately i have been having mental block making it difficult for me to remember new words. This is another worry. My tajweed class is doing memorisation and tajweed. For now it is easy as we are still on the short surahs of Juz Amma.

I think I need to change attitude.
Errr I really should buckle up.

I felt like writing all the complaints about the kids (lack of discipline) and stuff that are going around me. When it rains, it pours. But then as I write it down or mentally blog it, the more I feel that it is me who is not doing enough. :(

May Allah make me steadfast in seeking the knowledge of the deen. And may He make it easy for me.

Discipline

My class has started. And thus storm is brewing.


This is my fourth year in my class and understandably it is getting harder.

In the tajweed class the teacher was stressing on my ihfaq. I have managed to get that "kaf" sound of it but now she wants me to move the tongue to move to the next letter's makhraj. And I am finding it difficult to do all the min shahri... in both suratun Nas and Al Falaq.

Not to mention the letter ain when it has kasrah and dommah.

May Allah make it easy for me and all of us.

I have a new arabic teacher who is so cute Masya Allah. Masya Allah, I am amazed that she herself is taking up english course so she can communicate with the non-arabs like me. Masya Allah. Allahumabareek. And she is not getting paid at to teach us. And she doesn't have to trouble herself for she can teach the arabs which would be far easier for her.

I find many arabs are like this. When they do daawah, they'd go all out. So sometimes when people talk badly about them, I am just happy that I have met many are beyond good. May Allah increase their reward.

We will continue with our tafseer class. Through skype this time you, because my beloved teacher, may Allah bless her, has now moved to Egypt. So, Insya Allah, we will still continue lessons with her through skype. The problem with lessons through network is unstable lines.

And we have new aqeedah class (WITH EXAMS!!). I am also taking Quranic Arabic which concentrates on grammar used in quran. It's tougher but the best part is, it brings out alot of the quran words to explain a particular grammar. Even if I am lost in the mudhof ilaih, maf'ul bih, fael, feel and apa lagi entah, I am just happy that I learn at least one word from the quran. I am easy to please.

The storm is brewing but I am already feeling that two hands are not enough. My mind is continually making time-planning of what I should do now and the next hour and the next hour until i get to sleep.

If you do not know already, I am particular about my time schedule. And I get agitated when my scheduled is disrupted.

The thing is many times, the one who disrupt my own schedule, is myself. But being a mother, lover, student, driver, strategist, planner, chef, tukang mop require flexibility in the time. So as much as I want to sleep early (because subuh is at four in the morning), I find myself getting excited writing out notes for K@f@ or the kids' halaqah. I have passed the bedtime and my eyes are as big as saucers.

I need a stick perhaps because the carrot is already right in front of me.

Lelaki Perempuan

I am finding myself more and more in love with arabic language.Tak pandai mana pun lagi. Tapi with knowledge smaller that a micro drop of water pun dah fall in love, cannot imagine kalau dah banyak.

So I thought of sharing a few things with you as what I have shared with some sisters here.

As most of you would have known already arabic language distinguished the difference between masculine (Mudzakar) and female (Muanath) names. Not only in the nouns but also in the verb.

For example you say a sentence, "Read Quran", you can't tell whether the one who reads it is female or male unless you put the word she or he. But in arabic, even the sentence "read Quran" can tell you whether the reader is female or male.

تقرأُُ القرآن
Female reading Quran

يقرأ القرآن
Male reading Quran

The difference is the letter "Ta" and "Ya" before the word read.

And also in general rule to tell whether a noun is feminine, it generally has the "Ta marbutah" - ة at the end.

So you see the word
جنّة Jannah
آية Ayah (Ayat)
بقرة Baqaroh (cow)

All these indicate feminine.

But there are exceptions. Because the word hamzah Also ends with Ta' marbutah. Muawiyyah and Umaiyah. All of them have ta' marbutah at the end, but are male names. So they are not feminine by default.

Also there are some words which do not end with ta' marbutah but are also feminine. I think at the moment, I don't want to dwell in it yet.

Quite some time ago, perhaps when i started learning arabic, I came to this ayah (verse) that struck me the most about this quran language. On how Allah has put wisdom in the people practicing this language and Allah has built this language so rich that when the Quran was sent down, it became a medium that was easy to understand and yet even better than the one they had.

Please refer to the verse in Surah An Naml 27:18

This verse is about the ant, who after realising the Prophet Sulaiman's a.s. troops were coming, called out to the other fellow ants to hide in their dwellings.



If you are like me, who would just read the quran because we can read it and read the tafseer, then we can only perceive from this verse that an ant called out some ants to run for seclusion.

But if we know the arabic word قالت نملة in the verse, we would immediately recognise that the word قالت would indicate that the one is speaking is female and the word نملة with a "ta' marbutah" at the end means a female ant. Essentially in this verse, it is saying that a female ant called out to the other ants. Not just any ant, but a female ant.

Among the different castes and working system of ants, the worker ants are sterile female ants. They are the majority of the colony. Among their jobs are to take care of mother ant and her babies - clean and feed them. they also build new corridors and galleries for the nests. They also guard their nest and would continually clean it. They are also responsible to search for food and store honeydew. Taken from The Miracle in the ant : Harun Yahya. And Allah knows best. You can download it HERE.

Simple read on summary of genders of ant castes HERE.
And Mr. Wiki HERE.

Subhanallah. This verse was sent down 1400 years ago to the unlettered prophet s.a.w.. I presume nobody would care to study about ants at those time to differentiate the gender of the different caste of ants. Wallahualam. And here Allah is telling you, merely by adding a letter ta' marbutah to the noun "Naml - ant", a scientific prove of life that Allah has ordained from the beginning can be seen.

I am at awe of this ayah and the fact that the quran language could easily point out that it was a female ant who called out - also a prove that ants do communicate. Subhanallah.

This also indicate to me that the true meaning of the quran verses is somewhat lost in the english or even malay translation. And it made me even more determine to know more. Oh do I have much time?

I used this verse as what I called "Pembakar semangat" for those who want to learn the language of Quran. But you probably have to hear me pot pet to feel the burn. hahahhaha.

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But then this is only my own theory of limited knowledge of the arabic. Perhaps the singular form of the word ant would have the ta marbutah anyway while the plural form is mudzakar. Do correct me if I am wrong. Since Allah is the greatest of all planners, this is not mere coincident, I believe. Who can plan anything to this detail? To the nahu of the language?

Sessi Baru 2009/10

My classes has started since last week. And now they are coming with vengeance. They are introducing new syllabus on tajweed. Following the Qa1dah N00raniyah method. They retested everyone and put us according to our level of reading. Unlike the previous years, where we were tested on our reading of Juzzu Amma. This time round they make you read a page somewhere in the middle of Quran. That would be pretty fair, I believe. Kalau test on Surah Al Masad kalu, mungkin more than half bunyi macam bagus. :D

Now they put more emphasis on one to one 20 minute recitation. Kecut perut - yes. But I think we are all in need of this.

Alhamdulillah my kha is not so much of a problem now. Perhaps a bit of problem when I read it with a kasrah (baris bawah) but most of the time, it was ok based on teacher tak tegur. But on the other hand, my rho is a problem. be it fathah (baris atas), kasrah and dommah (baris depan). Haru betul. Dahlah we are to recite surah AdDzariyat. Where the first four verses ends with a rho.

Not to mention other letters. Particularly the one with sukun (tanda mati) which I tend to make a minor qalqalah with it. It's ok, Insya Allah can be improved.

When the arabic class starts, I think I have forgotten nearly half of the past lessons. And since I am getting the same teacher, she keeps on targeting me to answer. My trick is to answer quickly if I know the answers. So she would look at others for questions that I am quiet on. But today again she always ask me to start first. Stress betul!!

The tafseer class has also started. And so is the general lecture (still using Ideal muslimah book). Also my teacher will add another book on aqidah. General on aqeedah. Not following any book of scholars ke apa. Good for a start eh? So if you are a woman who live in Qtar, I welcome you to join me for this Thursday class. Insya Allah you will enjoy it.

They have increased the hours of classes now. And the only day I am free are Tuesday and occasional Fridays. In case ada orang nak jemput morning coffee. Hahhahah. But usually I would stay at home and hibernate (try to clean the house). I dread even to go groceries.

Alhamdulillah for another busy year.

Defensive

I met a local lady the other day. She told me that she has visited Msia (along with the mass exodus or arabs who come and visit Msia). And then she told me that she is sad with the Msians.

Err I asked why. Because, she said the msians can really read the Quran very well but they do not understand a thing they read.

Hmmm. OK I know this fact already because I am one of the statistics.

Well first of all it is the different culture. We just are not born speaking in arabic. It requires one to actually learn it. And really there are quite a large number of us who can not only recite but also understand the language and on top of that write and speak it too. Too bad you didn't meet these people in the mall or in genting or langkawi.

Also most of us use the translation and read the tafsir book to understand the quran. We may not be able to speak the language, but it does not mean we do not understand anything from the quran. And many people attend tafsir class for deeper understanding.

But i didn't say this to her lah.

I did tell her what I have written in this blog though. I told her first of all praises to Allah that my husband come here to work so I have the opportunity to learn the language. Then she said, perhaps mixing with the society helps you.

Heh heh I said. Actually not so much. It helps that my teacher is an arab so she can point out the way I pronounce a letter. But the society is not of much help.

First of all, the local ladies don't really speak to the foreigners. Perhaps there are a lucky few. But otherwise they just don't speak to us. Nor even smile at us. Especially if you are an asian whose facial feature is very similar to her helper.

And if we do meet some arab, most of them want to practise their English anyway. But mostly are men.

Or if we try to shuay shuay speak arabic, they think our arabic is funny because we sound ancient or we sound like a newscaster. No one speaks the Fus-ha yaani the quranic arabic.

Of course we can try to speak arab to the guy in the souq when we shop. But they actually speak the worse arabic. Sometimes mixing arabic with their own language. No arab work in the souq nowadays. Mostly are the indians or the bangladeshis or pinoys.

None of this helps you with the understanding of the quran.

So i was just a bit defensive. Even though, sadly i know she is right. But making a general remark about us I feel is unfair.

Ya ka unfair? Hmm..

Anyway, days later while I was chatting with my friend, I was suddenly reminded of this verse in Al baqarah 2:78

وَمِنۡہُمۡ أُمِّيُّونَ لَا يَعۡلَمُونَ ٱلۡكِتَـٰبَ إِلَّآ أَمَانِىَّ وَإِنۡ هُمۡ إِلَّا يَظُنُّونَ (٧٨)

Among them (the Jews) are unlettered folk who know not the Scripture except trusting from desires. They but guess.

ummiyeen - unlettered folk (buta huruf).

Not just unlettered but also common people and those not from people of knowledge.

This verse is actually describing about some of the Children of Israel who can only read the tawrah but do not know what it means. They are only following presumptions and blind following the scholars.

Let us not be one of them.

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Just some suggestions.

I found this link that Insya Allah may help us understand the translation of the quranic words. As Quran are highly repetitive, if we are disciplined enough, Insya Allah we can learn more Quranic words.

Go to this link. UNDERSTAND QURAN. Check out the courses they offer. Can start with the kids one if you wish. They are free by the way. Barakallahufikum to them.

Of course just knowing the meaning of the words are not enough. Accompany ourselves with good tafsir books. I am using Ibn Kathir. It can also be accessed HERE.

May Allah make it easy for us.

Progress Kelas 08/09

So kelas arab and kelas tajweed aku untuk sessi 08/09 sudah pun tamat. Next week dapat certificate Insya Allah.

The marks are oklah. Tak 100% though. Dapatlah 99.5% huhuhu :P

My teacher was saying sebabnya kita ni non arab and tak ada kawan arab, so susah sikit kita nak betul-betul develop our skills. I said to my teacher, you know sometimes when we do try to speak to the arabs, most of the time we do not understand more than half of what they are saying. Either they speak too fast or we are still lacking in vocabularies. But I also suspect that this vocab issue is also because the arabs speak in dialects. Arabs from Egypt talk differently than the locals from Qtar and also different from the ones in the greater Sham (Jordan, Syria, Lebanon). Even within Sham they have different dialects. And definitely different than the arabic I am learning.

I was talking to one guy the other day and when I answered him, he immediately said, or you are speaking fusha الفصحى arabic (classical arabic). Tak tau nak rasa bangga atau disheartened. In a way relieve lah jugak sebab boleh perasan sekejap yang tadi tak faham dia cakap bukan pasal tak terer bahasa arab tapi pasal mamat tu tak cakap fusha.

But looking back at the intention of learning arabic. Mainly is to understand the language of the Quran. So Arabic dialect does not seem as important then.

Walaupun my advancement in arabic taklah hebat mana. But Alhamdulillah, I can see the Quran in different view.

Have you tried those 3D pictures where when you stare at it for sometime, another picture will form. Well I like to use this analogy. Because suddenly you see the significant of the letters in the Quran. And I do mean letters rather than word. because arabic words play around a lot with letters like ya at the beginning or ta at the end or ha with dommah at the end or ha with a mad alif. It is like knowing what "ed" for past tense, "ing", adding an "s" except that arabic language is richer. And knowing that makes a different on how you understand the verses.

And when we are listening to the imam and suddenly we find that we can understand just a verse of what he is writing, not because we have memorised it, but because we know what it means. The feeling, I don't know how to describe it, it goes straight to heart. It is nothing like memorising the meaning. It is knowing them. And itu pun belum betul-betul lagi understand the tafsir and all. Alhamdulillah.

Knowing some arabic definitely help me in memorising some surah better. It is somehow not the same as looking at the translation. But I still need translationlah of course. But having said that, memorising has also helped me in my arabic exams. Being lazy as I am, I did not do much revision. Alhamdulillah in the exam, the question asked for some opposite words for "night" (laila. ) and "before" (qabl). I think I know that from the quran. Kih kih kih

I wonder how my friends are doing in their harfiyah class. I am sitting here with envy for I am sure they know more words in the Quran than me because I don't have the opportunity for harfiyah here. Way to go guys.

I see people in the Haram reciting the quran and crying their hearts out without having to refer to the tafsir.

And I just wonder will there ever be that day for me.

The Arabs Took Our Language

Did I ever tell you that I love my new Arabic teacher? Well not lah so new. I have been with her since last October. When she first came to our class, she seemed sooo garang. Her voice was loud and coarse and she seemed tough. But I guess that is the personality of a Palestinian woman. Very strong. When she speaks, she speaks really fast and you can hear her miles away. But she is hilarious! And the best part is, she doesn't even know she is funny. And she loves to wink when she makes jokes, which makes me laugh even more.

Anyway, since most of my readers (I think) are Malays or at least people who understand the Malay Language, you can probably relate to me when I said that some of our vocabularies are similar to the arabic vocab. You know like ilmu, fitnah, tamak, salji and many more.

So it is not surprising that when my teacher introduces new words, I would say, hey, we use the same word too. And it's not just us the Malays, the urdu language use alot of arabic words too. (In my class there are Malaysians, Indonesians, Hindi, Pakistani, Phillipines and Barbados. SO we have samples only from these countries)

Tired of keep pointing out that we use the same word too, she said, "Yeah! Yeah! I know. We borrow it from you." Hahahhahahhaha!

From then on, each time there is a new similar word, I would say, "Why you arabs are taking so many of our language?" She would laugh so hard and ruffle my errr hijab. By the way she loves to ruffle my head (should be hair, but since I have the hijab on..) She would reply and said, "We are borrowing language from all over the world, the Malay, Urdu and God knows what.". And the way she said it, with her booming coarse voice and her laughing face, made it so hilarious sampai meleleh air mata aku.

It's funny because we all know that it's not true. The arabic vocabularies are so rich and so clever and twisting.

Ana uhibbu mmudarisati fi Lillah.

Ana - I
uhibbu - I love (can omit the word ana if you use uhibuu)
mudarisati - my (female) teacher
fi Lillah - for the sake of Allah.

The Ps and the Bs

Referring to my last post.

As most of my readers are able to read the arabic font (assuming all are Malaysian. Mostly Malays. Muslims.) you would know that the arabic font does not have certain letters as the roman ones.

Like for instance they do not have the letter "P", "C", "G" "V" and some other letters that I am too lazy to think for you. Arabic letters do have similar letters like roman ones like Ba(ب) for B, Kaf (ك) for "K" Zai (ز) for "Z" and many more letters that I am too lazy to type here.

So sometimes when they want to make a direct copy of a name, they would substitite the missing letters to an arabic letter somewhat closest to it. For instance, refer to this pizza hut banner.



Even though pizza starts with a letter "P". But like I said, Arabic font (the hijaiyah not the jawi) doesn't have a "P", they substitute it with a "B" or the letter BA (ب). And thus pizza hut is spelt BIZZA HUT.

The same goes with things like petrol becomes BETROL and err apa lagilah tak ingat.

Another thing is Arabic font does not have the letter "G". If in jawi we use the letter GA like Kaf with a dot on top. Over here they use JIM (ج). And also in jawi we have the letter nga, which is ain with three dots on top. Thus we can use the word king with better effect. Over here, anything with G is substituted with the letter JIM.

refer to this burger king picture.



Notice the Gs in the Burger King becomes a J (as in JIM)

However, when I went to Oman, I met this guy in Nizwa. We were talking about the mejestic Jabals in Oman. Jabal (جبل)means mountain. But he did not pronounce it as Jabal instead he pronounced it Gabal. I asked him why you said Gabal, is it not spelt with a Jim. Yes with a Jim but the pronunciation is Gabal. Hmm

I was later told by my teacher, certain dialects use Jim as a G. Especially in Egypt.

Anyway saja nak relate a story about a friend of mine who went for his driving test. Before that, a background knowledge for you. When you take a driving test, you do the theory first, then they would test your parking, naik bukit segala tu dulu. After that if you pass, you get on a bus with your fellow comrades where they will take you to drive on the road.

So my friend has completed his parking test and all that. No poles were hit. Reasonable reversing and all. Then the policemen (polis yang test kat sini) started
calling out names for people to get in the bus. There were a few buses. But my friend's name was not called.

"Why me no go on bus?" My friend asked
"You?!! You no bas" The police said.
"No bus?" wondering what he meant by that since there were buses not completely full. "When will there be a bus?"
"You come tomorrow. Tomorrow bas" Presumably the police said that there will be a bus for him tomorrow.

I know I know. How leceh things are. Sometimes you just do not want to argue. Mainly because of language barrier.

So my friend came the following day and asked for the bus. Another officer checked his particulars. And said, "When you want to take test again?"
"What take test again?" My friend exclaimed.
"You take test again. You no bas."
"The other man said I take bus today." My friend said.
"No! No! You no bas! You failed!"
"Ohhhhhh I no pass"

Blearrghhhhh. Hahahhahahhaha

Having said that, I just saw a documentary about the Islam missionaries in the old days after the death of Prophet Mohammad. Indeed they covered Europe and went to China. The documentary also said, because the arabic language requires one to use nearly all the vocal organs like the tongue, the throat, the sides of the mouth and the lips, it was relatively easy for them to learn new languages. These certainly helped the missionaries to somewhat blend in and spread the good word of Islam.

Indeed, now that I am learning arabic and tajweed (with an arab), I am practising a lot of throat exercise. the letter like Kha (ح) and Kho (خ) and Ain (ع) and Dzal (ذ) and Tha (ث)and Dzo (ظ) requires a bit more practice and tongue and throat exercise.

Oh if you couldn't read the banners that I put in the previous entry, do not fret, for the english version of it is everywhere. So you will never miss your favourite fast food.

Learn your fast food

in arabic that is.

err elisa dengan neeza and those working in the middle east takleh teka. tak aci. :p











Sapa teka first yang paling tepat dapat hadiah. :D

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Exam akhir tahun sudah selesai. That includes Haziq and ME.

Dengan itu saya nak buat pemberitahuan yang saya tlah lulus dengan cemerlangnya dalam peperiksaan bahasa arab hari itu. Markah penuh telah saya sambar. Alhamdullilah. Campur-campur markah lama untuk final marks dapat 99 and a quarter dan seterusnya telah berjaya menggondol tempat pertama dalam kelas.

Nah saya saji sikit trifle.

So class habis for now sehinggalah lepas raya tahun depan. Tahun depan Insya Allah, naik satu takuk atas. Dah tak ada relax-relax macam tahun ni. Nampak serious aje pelajar-pelajar dalam kelas tersebut. Gulp.

Next year Jack will go to school fully, which means I can go to more classes. Fuyo! and perhaps take up something else too.

But for now I want to share with you this phrase.

Ana Rabbatul Manzil (أنا ربّت المنزل)

I am a domestic Goddess.

he he

eh teka tau gambar kat atas.