Bismillah Police

Haziq has been a bit naughty lately. So told his other two siblings. He has not been saying Bismillah before eating. Gasps!

THE BOOK OF DRINKS (KITAB AL-ASHRIBA)
Muslim :: Book 23 : Hadith 5006
Jabir b. ‘Abdullah reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: When a person enters his house and mentions the name of Allah at the time of entering it and while eating the food, Satan says (addressing himself: You have no place to spend the night and no evening meal; but when he enters without mentioning the name of Allah, the Satan says: You have found a place to spend the night, and when he does not mention the name of Allah while eating food, he (the Satan) says: You have found a place to spend the night and evening meal. This hadith has been narrated on the authority of Jabir b. Abdullah through the same chain of transmitters but with a slight variation of wording.

If you would like to read more, you can check out one of my older posts in the other blog : THE MANNERS OF EATING

Sya and Jack have been keeping in check with him. reminding him "Have you said your Bismillah" . have you said it? have you? Have you?



This is one of the latest attempts. Putting it on his plate to remind him.

They call themselves the Bismillah Police.

Part of efforts of enjoining good, forbidding evil. May Allah bless them.

Sya is Ten

Sya turned ten when we were in Madinah. Masya Allah! She is really ten? Soon soon very soon I will have a teenage girl in the house. Wonder what will that be like?

Where shall I start. OK first of all, I was worried about Sya's weight (to add to my own's eh?). She loves eating and she always has baby fat ever since she is baby (LOL). But last year she has been gaining weight and I was not very happy with it. It is too bad that we live in an inactive life here. There is not much sports here even at school. It is laughable compared to what you guys have in Malaysia. School life is not as hectic as in Malaysia. She doesn't have to rush much for school and can take time to eat and snack.

People have been commenting about her weight gain. It hurts me when people say that, just as much as it hurts me when people comment about my weight. Yang paling benci, are those who comment about her weight, and when i am being particular about the amount of food she eats or the type, they would say, "Alaa budak-budak, biarlah apa dia nak makan." Obese children start from weight gain right?

Anyway I controlled her ration and her snack. I made lots of reminders and sometimes force her to run. She took up a liking on rollerblades and she is quite good on it, Masya Allah. I made healthier school food too (as much as i can). Very rarely they take sausages and nuggets now. I try to grill most of the food. Even ayam masak merah, I broil the chicken first. We try to take raw veges now. Maybe I'll blog about food in another post eh?

Alhamdulillah, the weight has gone down now and the perut looking much flatter, Masya Allah. And of course we have to be realistic, Sya is not the paper thin type. She will probably be a bit chubby, but she has improved and that is what matter most. We'll work on being healthy Insya Allah.

Sya likes to make us fruit juice. Whenever we have fruits, she would cut up the fruits in small chunks and make fruit juice. So now she has to learn to clean up properly. Kadang-kadang melekit satu dapur. I think she enjoys having Jack watching her doing kitchen work. Rancangan memasak ke cik kak?

Her daily chore is cleaning up the table. Kena paksa. And her work is clean and neat. Masya Allah! Dah 10 tahun ni boleh kasi tambah daily chore nampaknya. her room is still a mess though.

Maths is not her favourite subject. This is a bit disheartening. If you are the kind who find maths easy, you will find this mind boggling indeed. Insya Allah I am taking it easy. But I suppose it is the environment that allows me to be relax. The school system here do not label weak in maths as a failure.

Having said that, I am devising ways to spend time on her maths. Allah Musta'an.

She likes writing though. I may not like her style but I think it can develop Insya Allah. The teacher seems to like it though.

She also likes to sew and make crafts. Which I don't like because I always find crafts a mess. She is now into making dolls and making the dresses. It looks rough and crude still. The thing is she doesn't know how to place her things properly. It drives me crazy. I suppose I have no patience for this. But I do recognise it is something good to develop. I do not know how to guide her. Any advice? Maybe I'll enroll her in something.


Looks scary still. But I think it is cute. And I have no idea where she gets the idea from.

Sya is still the only one who talks freely about love. Will write down that she loves me. Will make cards for me. Abang dengan adik dia menumpang aje sign. Will leave me notes. Will tell me she loves me in french. Je t'aime ma mère

Some say I am too hard on her.

I think I am.

I am so afraid she will grow up like me, but yet I am moulding her to be me. Maybe I should read up something about girls. I have been surrounded with boys and am raising boys all the time that I find raising girls a slightly strange territory. She on the other hand must have been quite a rebel because she doesn't seem to want to turn into tomboy or that sort. Naudzuillah.

I love Syama a lot. And does her dad and her brothers.

I pray she grows up righteous and continuously be the comfort of our eyes.

Sya is nine
Sya is eight
Sya is seven
Sya is six
Sya is five
Sya is four

Driving in Makkah

Alhamdulillah I am back from umrah. Alhamdulillah Allah has made it easy for us. We went on our own and relative to the last trip, my lover was more relax. This time, since we are our own master, we stopped whenever we are sleepy and took our time to rest and drove at our own speed. And since no one was with us, no one will know our argument on routes to choose during the trip.

If on our last trip we depended on someone to take us to the hotel, this time we booked our accommodation and basically had ourselves, with the help of Allah, to get us around. GPS somewhat help. We booked the hotel nearest to the Haram which turned out quite horrendous to reach by car.

First of all we use the coordinate given by the GPS for the hotel. The thing is we reached Makkah nearing to solat time, where most of the important roads are closed and the GPS kept having to recalculate. And makkah is a city of underground tunnels. The GPS would lose its signal and by the time it receives the signal back, we have lost perhaps a few good junctions. And it is just not possible to stop. Everything is going too fast.

So we drove to what the GPS suggested but funnily it seems we are getting further away from the big landmark which is the clock itself. After a whole lot of recalculating, turn right bear left and make sharp turn, we found our suggested destination to be an old hotel bearing the same name. I am not sure whether I should laugh or keep quiet because lover was really not amused by it. HAHAHAHAHAH.

Anyway, now that we will drive without knowing where to go, I scrambled through the GPS list of hotels and picked what I think is the nearest one. I forced lover to stop and asked the police who were aplenty guarding the closed roads. perhaps it was my little arabic and the boys in their ihram, we found the police very helpful. Or maybe because I thought they would bark at us in the first place.

Finally we found the hotel entrance which was located underground. Subhanallah. To top it, they wanted to charge an exorbitant price for the parking there. So we checked in. Settled the kids. reminded them that they are in ihram. Ordered room service and went out to look for possible parking place in the city of Makkah.

We saw many cars parking under bridges, on the kerb and selit sana sini. But we did not want troubles such as being towed or fined. Finally we found an open space where seemingly safe and many cars are there too. Tawakal alallah.



We found the car safe after four days parked there. Alhamdulillah.

When we went back to get our car, we had a better idea of the road orientation in Makkah. At least the roads that we had to take. I have keyed in more parking spots for future rendezvous.

I suppose I do not mind much getting lot on the road. We usually learn teh road better after, Insya Allah.

Alhamdulillah that despite all the havoc, everything else went smoothly. Even smoother than the bald headed boys'head in my house.

Sentimental Soul

Continuation of reading habil and qabil story to Jack. HERE

Then a few nights ago, I read the another no frill straight to the point story of Prophet Yusuf alaihi salam. He was sad when Prophet Yusuf alaihi wasalam was thrown into the well and was even sadder at the fact that they brought a bloody shirt back to Prophet Yaakub alaihi wasalam lying to their father that Prophet Yusuf alaihi wasalam was eaten by the wolf. And to add to it Prophet Yusuf alaihi salam was also thrown into prison later on.

Indeed what we think is good for us may not be good for us, and what we think is bad for us is actually good for us. Allah is the best of planner.

I ask Allah to make him among the muttaqun and that my children remain in love with each other for Allah's sake.

Palace of the World

The best palace I have visited so far in my life (not that I have visited many. But enough to make comparison I suppose) must be the one in Iran. This is just based on the permanent decoration they have for the castle. In Oman on the other hand, the castles and fortresses are a winer based on their defense and protection strategy. Read about Oman Palaces that I wrote HERE.While in Europe must be the sheer size of most castles.

But Iran's palaces must win for its deco, specifically for the palaces in tehran itself - Golestan Palace and Reza Pahlavi Palace (not the recent 70s one but the one which is build ages ago in the era of Qajar empire).

I was truly impressed on their mirror works on the inside wall and heavily patterned tiles on their outside wall. The reflection of the chandelier's light on the mirror is truly mesmerising.







It brought me to thinking if this is what you get in this world being the ruler, what would it be like in jannah. Teh best of palaces for those with taqwa!

Tremendous narration describe that the palaces in jannah being made by hollow pearls. They are sixty miles high and in some narration sixty miles wide (Bukhari). There will be lofty rooms, one above the other, under which river flows (Az Zumar 39:20)

When Jibreel send Allah's salaam and his salam to Khadijah in a hadith by Abu Hurayrah, Jibreel mentioned that Khadeejah will have a house in Paradise made of brocade in which there is no noise and no exhaustion.

Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasalam described the building of jannah as below,

Bricks of gold and silver, the mortar of fragrant musk, pebbles of pearl and sapphire, and soil of saffron. Whoever enters it is filled with joy and will never feel miserable; he will live there forever and will never die; their clothes will never wear out and their youth will never fade. (Hadith by Ahmad, Tirmidhee)

And the decorations of Jannah are describe as thrones woven with gold and precious stones of which is worth more than the whole world and everything in it.

And the palace as grandeur as it will be will be in the midst of beauty and splendour. The gates, the soil, the rivers, the river banks, the springs, the fragrance, the trees and fruits and the inhabitants.

Allah and the Prophet sallahu alaihi wasalam has described Jannah to help us imagine what it would be like. To help us long for it and to help us work for it amdist the difficult life living in this world pleasing Allah.

Of all the description of jannah, the one that engulf me most, that made my heart skipped a beat and made me stop to ponder is from a hadith qudsi reported by Abu Hurayrah that Prophet Muhammad salllahu alaihi wasalam said

Allah said: "I have prepared for My righteous slaves what no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no human heart can imagine. Nevermind what Allah has told you; what he has not told you is even greater." Then he (salllahu alaihi wasalam) recited "No person knows what is kept hidden for them of joy as a reward of what they used to do. (as Sajda As 32: 17)"

May Allah accept our deeds and place us in the highest jannah. Ameen.

Living in the Mountain

If Allah permits it, perhaps I would be able to see more of how people live in the mountain areas around the world.

We saw Misfah Al Abreyeen in Oman. I wrote it HERE.



In Iran we saw two beautiful mountain areas where the residents have adapted themselves to the mountainous building in their own unique way. First there is Masouleh. It's near the town that is near to the caspian sea. It is in the forested mountainous area and thus to travel to it, one has to go through beautiful forest.

The unique thing about Masouleh is the houses. The terraced houses by the hill village is at least a millineum old. The houses are built as such that the roof of the houses below is the walking path for the people above.

The path are really confusing. Sometimes you think you are walking straight through wanting to go to the house you see at the end of the path, only to find yourself going downwards. You can miss the uphill path or downhill path without noticing it. Walking about in the village is a labyrinth that is pleasant to get yourself lost in.





And they have lived like that for a millineum old.

In further North, kandovan, we visited the mini kappadokya of Iran. Kappadokya is actually in Turkey. (I have been there. he he). Like Kappadokya, kandovan also have mountains formed by compressed volcanic ashes. But the best thing, is, unlike Kkappadokya, people stll live in the very same house they lived centuries ago. People have been boring the mountains to make lovely homes within it. Hard Rock Villages.

It is really amazing here. I went to one of the houses and experienced myself how the houses were naturally warmed when it is freezing outside. And they told me, that it is cooling in the hot summer.

The main livelihood is through sheep rearing and little business of honey (really good), walnuts and dairy products.





Mountains are a marvel to look at, to walk on and Insya Allah to live in.

Al Qaf 50: 7
And the earth! We have spread it out, and set thereon mountains standing firm, and have produced therein every kind of lovely growth (plants).

An Anbiya' 21: 31
And We have placed on the earth firm mountains, lest it should shake with them, and We placed therein broad highways for them to pass through, that they may be guided.

And mountains are big and solid and strong.

Al Isra' 17: 37
And walk not on the earth with conceit and arrogance. Verily, you can neither rend nor penetrate the earth, nor can you attain a stature like the mountains in height.

Subhanallah! One of Allah's greatest signs in His creation.

Esfahan

It is really nice to say the country's name eh? Esfahan. Esfahan. Esfahan. It is so easy and beautiful on the tongue. And so is tehran and Suez and Timbaktu.

Anyway Esfahan when we got there was not strikingly beautiful. Its outskirts are mainy industrialised. I think a nuclear plant is somewhere somewhere. Perhaps I have always prefer sceneries rather than cities. But Esfahan stores so many jewels of Iran.

And I think if you make first research on Iran, most of the buildings that will appear on your google page will be of esfahan.

Just to add more pictures on the web.

Along the Mountain Track

I have the tendency to choose the mountain when I go travelling. Perhaps this is because of my camping interest which when I was younger, tend to be at the mountain, or perhaps also the humidity of the sea always give me the rashes not to mention, takut melengut.

But I am young no more. So the work to have the best view of the mountain leave me lots of non-existent muscle pain. I didn't learn my lesson when I went to Taman Negara did I? Nor the steep hike that I had to take with flimsy slippers at Wadi Bani Khalid, Oman.

In Iran we hiked up a small mountain or a tall hill to reach Castle Roudkhan of what seemingly never ending steps.







I think I lost loads of kilos just going up and down the hill but happily gained back due to the delicious food in Iran.

Also, as if not learning our lesson that driving up and down the mountain and cutting across it will cause stomach to be tied into a knot, we did again what we did in Oman. Knot in the stomach.

But then we saw these







So we will probably do it again.

Chauffeured in Iran

We toyed with the idea of driving ourselves to Iran. We can drive to Fujairah in UAE. Take a ferry via Fujairah all the way to Bandar Abbas in Iran. It would be an adventure I think. But alas we did not do it.

And I am glad we did not.

Driving in Iran is crazy! I think by far this is the worse place for a foreigner to drive in. I thought Saudi was the worse, but Iran top them all. I heard Cairo is even worse. I cannot imagine.

In Tehran, people drive by mm away from each other and there seem to be no rule except that people should not take the two middle lanes of the road. Those are for buses.

Despite the my-heart-will-pop-out incident, so far i did not witness any accidents among them. They must have good brakes. The car may look like a scene out of Roger Moore's James Bond movie, faded and rustic, but I suspect teh brakes must be good.

On the highway, people don't like driving in their lanes. They like that the road lines to be in between them. At normal times these drive me crazy. If my lover the one who is driving, I would have nagged and nagged and perhaps pull the steering.

Oh the other thing was we could not access any satellite signal on our GPS which was frustrating. But yeah, I am glad we took a driver.

Anyway we asked for a driver and a car. We had three of them. Mr Rezai who drove us from tehran to tabriz, Mr Jafari drove us from Tabriz to Kandovan and back to Tabriz and Mr Rostam who drove us aaround Esfahan and all the way back to Tehran.

Of them three, only Mr Rezai can speak reasonably good english. And when he runs out of english word he would speak arabic. He is an arabic teacher. Yes he has two jobs. Generally everyone has two jobs because, well, time is hard. Mr Rezai said, "Teacher pay is little. Driver pay is alot."

Anyway, it was really nice to speak arabic to a foreigner. It feels sometimes that I know more arabic than english. When he is trying to say that there was an earthquake which destroyed part of a castle, he had to use zalzalah because he doesnt know the word earthquake in english. sometimes he asked me questions in arabic too.

I understand why our travel agent prefer that we take tour guides with us because most of the drivers cannot speak english which was really hard. So we tried using as much farsi word we learnt and a lot of sign languages or in the end polite laughs because we could not understand him and neither can him, we. I used pictures that I took using the phone and words in the guidebook. Otherwise I would hentam an arabic word just in case or perhaps even a malay word.

By the way we share words with Iran like Bandar which means port in farsi, anggur, takhta which is actually an arabic word and salam which means hello.

After travelling to some countries (Baru sikit aje), I must say Malaysian drivers are not so bad. But perhaps we are the only one with the most rage. Eh wait, the italians are the same. They curse alot.

In the middle east and Iran, people don't get so angry if people cut queueu ke apa. In middle east they would beam you and horn you but rarely people glare at you.

And I suspect no one carries a baseball bat under their seat also.


Mr Rezai laughing at us after the more than one hour huffing and puffing climbing up the mountain to view castle roudkhen. Most Iranians are very fit and slim.

Qtar-Dubai-Iran-Dubai-Qtar

Alhamdulillah we are back.

The trip has been very good nearly every second except the time when I gaduh with my lover. It's all his fault. :P

We started off with the cold desert in Qtar and dashed through more desert in Saudi and most part of the UAE until we reached the metropolitan Dubai.

Subhanallah Dubai's skyscrapers are a feat to look at. And as you drive onto the 6-lanes highway of Sheikh Zayed Road, you can't help be amazed at all the man-made surroundings. Currently they are leading in terms of scraping the sky compared to its counterpart but perhaps Qtar with its money and vision will come close soon. Assuming they are competing that is. Which naturally remind me of this hadith Jibrail.

He (The angel Jibrail) said, “Inform me about the Hour (yaumul qiyamah).” He (the Messenger of Allah) said, “About that the one questioned knows no more than the questioner.” So he said, “Well, inform me about the signs thereof (i.e. of its coming).” Said he, “They are that the slave-girl will give birth to her mistress, that you will see the barefooted ones, the naked, the destitute, the herdsmen of the sheep (competing with each other) in raising lofty buildings.” Thereupon the man (Angel Jibrael) went off. (Part of hadith of Iman, Islam and Ihsan a famous Hadith Jibrael. Teh angel Jibrael came to Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihiwasalam and the sahabah in the form of a man)

And of course the best thing about Dubai was meeting friends. Masya Allah, I am happy to chat with them, laugh, listen to their ideas and opinions. I am happy to note also that we are taking steps to fear Allah in our daily life. I love my friends for the sake of Allah.

Flew off to freezing Tehran and made way to highland with rugged mountain covered in snow. Drove further up north, the climate became warmer (around 15C perhaps) and towns looking like Bandar Muar.

Further up autumn was taking place. The scape was filled with plots of paddy field and bushes of tea. Red and brown and yellow leaves were falling leaving the trees bare. People are still out camping and having fun with their family around the little campfire. The Iranians love outdoor. And I can understand why, with such beautiful outdoor place to go, I would do the same.

It gets colder as we reached Masouleh, the town where they build houses at the hillside and your roof is other people's walk of way.

Then we dove further deep in the western area, Zanjan. These cut across the range of mountain. The drive was scary and breathtaking at the same time.Rugged mountain and snow at the top.

Zanjan itself was covered in frost which reminds me of Manchester. It snowed a bit when I was there.

As we drove up to Kandovan, the scape was white with frost at first but slowly changed to many colours after that. Brown, green and yellow scape.

I must say the best view is when we are on the journey itself which I couldn't photographed much because we are in the car and someone else is driving and I am polite sometimes.





Then Kandovan, where early generation's creativity and the need to survive is now a tourist attraction. The rocks are carved into the house and people still live there. Sherpeding, doing trade, sending kids to school.

Throughout the journey we viewed stream trickling, water flowing in between the rock, some frozen and some calm.

We saw view that are breathtaking. We saw the marvels of Allah's creation.

Allah Al Musawwir. He is the one who fashions everything. He shapes His creation. He colours it. He makes it as what we see. The world shared among the believers and those who do not believe.

If this is paradise on earth, what will jannah be like when Allah is preparing it especially for those who believe in Him?

Winter Break

The school will be off for two weeks by this Tuesday. I will be taking a break too.

We will be going to Dubai this Tuesday to visit so many blogger friends there, Insya Allah. Will be driving and staying over at Elisa's from the defunct elisataufik.blogspot.com. Hoping to meet Ruby from maknenek blogspot. Thetha from anamcarathots blogspot, blabs from blabarella blogspot and of course nazrah from nazrahayu blogspot. All of the blogs are defunct or almost defunct. hahahhahaha. But the person are functioning extremely well!

So I am staying until Wednesday and then will be flying off somewhere else. he he. We will, insya Allah fly off to Iran. :D.

So this is the plan and as usual I will put a map.



So like I said, I will be flying to Tehran from Dubai, Insya Allah. Immediately the next day we will drive to the north and our stop will be in Dizin - ski resort. Main snow and perasan boleh ski walhalnya tak boleh. I am still praying the snow is good enough.



We will overnight there. And the next morning will travel further north driving along the Caspian sea and stopping at wherever that is worth to stop. Which is plentiful.



And the next day we will travel even further north to visit and stay at the village of masouleh famous for their charming village by the hill.

Will then go to Zanjan and visit Sultaniyeh and its famous 'washing room."



If Allah permits, we will then move even further to the North to the town tabriz. and Insya Allah to visit its Bazaar and other things. But my main highlight will be the village of kandovan, the kapadokkya of Iran.



We will then fly to Esfahan, the jewel of Iran. This is my lover's main interest.



We will end the Iran trip back In tehran and visit their famous museums Insya Allah before flying back to Dubai and spend sometime with good friends over there.



We hope to see some of the beautiful sceneries there and even more.

We ask Allah to protect us during the journey and the journey will enrich our experience and will only increase our eeman.

Zachary is Six

Laaa dah besar dah baby ibu.

Jack is not feeling well today. he has ulcer in his mouth and a bit of runny nose. And everybody fusses over him. Sungguh terasa sedih when he doesn't want to eat much. And he doesn't smile much. It's like the world has lost its colours. And yang paling over is Sya. She is such a big mama over Jack. Goodness!

And at other times, whenever Jack makes a cute face. The kids will fuss over him. Awwww.

Or when he makes baby voice. the kids will fuss over him. Awwww.

Overnya. Ibu dia relax aje.

And when he wants to get me, he would make a cat face and a squeaky baby's voice and iterate the latest dua that he had memorised.

Awwwww. Eh ibu dia relax aje. Tak cair pun.

So there you go, jack is still the baby of the house. And he still cries in kesedihan when I raise my voice to him. But lesser than last year.

He is still very thin.

He likes to hog the computer which makes me really angry. He can play the runescape game non stop. And his partner in crime is haziqwho is playing with him at the other end of the network. So I have to come up with activities to make him stay off that. Yes I can pull off the WIFI. And I have in several occasions. But in most occasions I had to do my thing too...so there you go.

His memorisation is doing good when he wants to pay attention. Gertak aje sikit nangis. Bleargh. He has memorised up to Al Adiyat. Not that much but moving Insya Allah.

He seems to like maths too. But in relative to the rest of them he is not as dilligent. And I am finding myself with less and less time to pay attention to their work particularly jack's. Hoping to catch up during the school holidays.

He knows his cue that I want kisses and hugs from him and he obliges much. *muahs* Sampai bila gamaknya dia nak kena kiss and hug?

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Panjat Lagi Sikit

I went back to my old post in the early 2009 and I said I wanted to be cool in 2009. Angkat kening kat diri sendiri.

Well lots of room for improvement. LOTS!

Anyway forget about the domestic goddessy thingy. I have lost interest altogether. So I cook and eat and call some people over. But I am finding less and less time for fine cuisine (cewah). I admit, it is not my forte. Tapi jangan marahlah kalau makcik kata makcik masa a very mean tasting chicken curry hari ni dengan banyaknya sebab bolehlah menjala roti esok untuk di cicahkan.

I find my time being squeezed even at the starting of 2010. Alhamdulillah. I pray I can keep up with them and take the benefit of this time before I fall sick, or have to leave the country, or some intervention that prohibits me or die.

I have been thinking to myself how some people keep up with their time. They are even busier. Someone has 10 kids, she teaches people nearly everyday, meaning she has to prepare to teach, she also learn, and she cooks (sedaplak tu) and and and.

It dawned one me that Allah must have put barakah on her time. And made her better in time management. Allah creates time, the concept of time and thus our perception of time. he can make your time short or long. He can make someone to gain within one hour gain nothing except the clicking of mouse or understand a verse of His words or clean up the whole kitchen or teach someone or even make daawah.

I pray that Allah give barakah on my time and bless this gold that I am spending.

Anyway, my class has added more syllabus which is actually voluntary but I thought why not. Thus making my time completely full four out of five days on weekdays. Leaving me very little time for proper housekeeping (alasan). I only have Tuesday free for myself that I am hoping to do the groceries and do mini housekeeping, try to exercise (hardest), read (hard), homework and other things. But I have a feeling soon this Tuesday will be taken up also.

My weekends are mostly full too. I still have the teenage girls programme which is actually once a month but I can sense the other sisters are trying to push it to twice a month. I am actually reluctant because Friday is my day with my children. It's already a challenge to have our "class" together. And I find that at the moment I am the stumbling block in this group. *Tak tau nak cakap macam mana. tetiba rasa nak nangis*

It really makes me think whether I am perhaps one of those who doesn't rush or exert myself for good deeds. And I fought with my innerself with ikhlas or being terpaksa otherwise. When people offer me something on the plater, I hesitate and think alot to pick up. And finally the platter is being pulled away.

Last year I thought of doing something different than what I use to do. I volunteered to help out in a programme. But it turned out sour on my side. And I am frustrated and sad. Then I became a bit reserve and would avoid doing voluntary work or help out. It's a struggle in me because I think I miss a lot of deeds.

But as if tak serik, I agreed to help out the Malaysian group to teach the children over the weekend religious class. I pray that this is a wise decision and it will be good for myself and for everyone in dunya and akhirah. Perhaps I will put up an entry on this one.

Anyway, I am praying that I can always better myself in everything. Achieve what I aspire to achieve. Bersemangat. Steadfast. Make friends. Be warm. Spread love. Sprinkle peace.

Tahun ni nak panjat lagi sikit and observe territory of possible expansion, Insya Allah. Hopefully not my width though.