Balik Kampung

Sekejap lagi kang saya satu keluarga nak balik kampung dah. Mula-mula kita balik Muar, kampung saya. Lepas tu hari selasa atau pagi Rabu kita balik Melaka, kampung lover saya. Malam raya dan sembahyang raya semuanya di Melaka. Every year.

Sepanjang kahwin, saya tak pernah raya kat Muar on first raya. Ini adalah kerana parents saya sendiri balik kampung. Nenek saya (my father' side) tinggal di Kluang. So what I do year after year is, after sembahyang raya, kita orang semuanya pergi Kluang jumpa my parents and my nenek tapi kita orang balik Melaka balik on the same day.

Psssttt, I thinkkan my mum kan dia boring jugak sebab still kena beraya kat kampung Kluang tu (dari sejak dia kahwin lagi). I think since dia dah ada cucu (yang semuanya dihasilkan oleh saya), dia teringin nak kita semua bermalam raya dan bersibuk-sibuk memasak dan seterusnya sembahyang raya dan bersibuk-sibuk di pagi raya dan ultimately mintak ampun dan maaf bersama-sama di pagi raya..di rumah dia.

I so know how she feels.

I so know how she wants to be the woman of the house..during raya time.

Pasal saya pernah duduk kat obersea dulu. Saya tau kesibukkannya masa malam raya tu. I prepared all the raya meal by myself, well except the pressed rice. Saya mintak budak jantan buatkan. Masa tu tak ada ketupat adabi tu. So bebudak jantan tu creatively buatlah nasi impit. Hempap dengan dumb bell, buku yang tak pernah bacalah dan macam-macam lagi benda yang berat.

I single handedly prepared the rendang, lodeh (orang Johor wajib ada lodeh) and kuah kacang. Sapa yang rajin nak tolong, I hand the task of potong memotong bawang, bawang puteh, lengkuas yang keras tu, serai, buang kulit kacang, halia dan the etc. job.

Dapur tu saya punya. Saya handle the amount of santan, the amount of cili, kerisik, the kerangupan kacang, amount of sampah sarap in the lodeh, garam, gula, kering rendang, amount of kuah kacang. Semuanya saya punya. Saya, Lollies, the control freak jadi project manager dapur. Etc. job aje saya kasi kat the volunteers.

Saya digress.

Point saya is, saya rasa, samalah dengan mak saya. Dia pun nak in control jugak. Dia nak gak pilih sendiri set pinggan mana yang nak dipakai raya ni rather than being asked to take the set of their choice. Yalah memang dia orang buat kerja sama-sama. Macam taulah sapa yang kena isi ketupat, tukang kacau rendang, tukang jaga api, tukang potong carrot, kobis, tukang rendam perut tahu, suun. Tapi mesti ada master mind dia.

Saya suka jadi mastermindnya.

Dan mak saya nak merasa salaman anak-anaknya dan celoteh cucunya pada pagi raya tu jugak, di rumah sendiri, bukannya pukul 2 tengahari.

Tapi tak apa..saya semua dan anak-anak still jumpa dia. Lambat pun lambatlah. Ada orang langsung tak dapat jumpa.

Err..saya pun ada kat rumah mertua saya.

Tapi orang Melaka tak buat lodehlah.

Selamat hari raya korang semua. Saya mintak maaf jika ada terkasar bahasa atau cara sepanjang korang membaca di sini atau yang saya komen kat tempat korang.

I Can't Cook

before that is....

I've never cooked throughout my teenage life. Don't blame it on me. Blame it on my mum. He he..she was never forceful enough to make me cook and I was so in love with the TV. I must, I must be whipped to the kitchen.

I couldn't cook before, even if my life depended on it. Well, that's an exaggeration, of course. I could boil water. Both using the electric kettle and the non-electric one. But I won't guarantee that there would be any water left in the latter, unless it's a whistle one.

I could..err..cook instant noodles. And mind you, I use pots, not just boil the noodles in a tupperware or a pail like some people. Excuse me, I may not be able to cook, but when I do..it must be done in style.

And and and I could (and still can) boil rice WITHOUT the electric rice cooker. See see..can you do that? Even now? And mind you, the rice would come out nice too.

And I could do any camping food..baked beans and anything from the can. Yes I could heat up food..not using the microwave. Hah!

And I could toast bread and spread peanut butter on it.

Anyway enough of my bragging. My not so skillful days in the kitchen was really tested when I went to UK as a student. I got a house along with four other strangers. We agreed to take turn to cook. Actually, I silently did not agree. I mean sure you can survive with bread, fish and chips, flapjack, cheese and onion pie right? But cook I had to.

So in a real state of panic, I looked for some really easy recipe for me to start with. A nice kind senior who I was sure wouldn't tell anyone of my handicap, gave me the recipe for chicken rice. Hmmm looks easy enough.

So there I was, in one of the cold winter days trying to cook.

Made the soup. I cautiously put in salt and sugar so that I won't overdo it. The chicken soup is the mother of any chicken rice. You got it right on the soup, you are actually half way there.

Then I boiled the rice. Carefuly measuring the soup to be put into the rice. Hopefully it doesn't turn into porridge instead or worst, burnt!

Then acording to the recipe, it's nice if I can take out the chicken from the soup, marinade it in soy sauce, oyster sause, tomato sauce and later fried.

That's easy. Frying is easy. I can do frying. So I fried the chicken.

Then chop chop the garnishing for decoration purposes. At least even it taste awful, it would look good. Remember, in style?

But but but..I must have turned the gas too strong. My chicken was burnt! Black black chicken!

Die! Die!

I don't mind going hungry but there are four others who must be dead hungry by now. I did take nearly two hours doing this chicken rice thing. Yes that long..

Think Lollies, think! Cover up! Cover up!

So I sliced up the burnt part. Slice! Slice! Get rid of the evidence. Somehow out of habit, I popped some of the slices in my mouth. Hey! Wait a minute! This doesn't taste burnt! Not at all. In fact I must say, it tasted. ehemmm, quite good.

Then logic hit me, if you fried up chicken marinated with soy sauce and oyster sauce, which apparently are black in colour, the product wouldt turn up....err black?



Drool and salivate over my excellent culinary products now.

Haziq the Game Maker

Haziq likes to invent games out of the new things he just learned. He will make up games until he found new things that he can make a game out of it.

When he was one and a half year old, while on the way to te nursery along the Old Klang Road, I named him all the petrol pump station. If you have been on the Old Klang Road, you'd know just how many petrol pump stations there are. Sebaling batulah kata orang melayu. He can name all the stations and make a game out of it whenever we found a petrol station.

Then come the colour game, type of car game, guess-what-that-letter is game and read out that car's plate number.

The game became even more excessive when he start schooling. When he found the magic of adding numbers, he played that game and made us ask him various kind of number additions. It started of with singular number like 2+3, then he proceeded to bigger numbers and even up to millions. I remembered having write out sums like this

1,289,786
+3,764,800

Then he started on on multiplication. When we look bored answering him, he started quizzing my helper for simple timetable. He has already gotten the concept for the table 10. Heh heh I gave him the easiest to boost his confidence.

The last 2nd term exam, his Malay Language exam asked him a riddle - Buah apakah bijinya diluar?. Of course he didn't know that.

So I bought him books of Malay idioms, parables and riddle. He was terribly excited with idioms. There were long list of idioms in the book and he used it whenever he can when constructing his sentence. He asked me, "Ibu am I an anak emas?" gleefully.

Some of my friends had to endure his rambling about malay idioms. Pity them.

Then he found the fun in malay riddles (teka-teki). He made me ask as YM friend on one of our chatting sessions. Then he riddled everyone and learn new riddles in the proces. He is never bothered of who his audience is or the fact that they are too lazy to play the riddle game.

Funny thing you know, when it comes to riddles with adult, this one will always pop out

Selak kain nampak bulu
Selak Bulu nampak biji
Selak biji nampak Batang
Apa dia?

AYOOOO

The other thing that he like is the 3D shape game. How many edges are in a cuboid? How many corners are there in a pramid? How many flat surfaces are in a cube?

I don't know for how long will he be inventing games and questions like this. But I must say, tired that I am having to answer endless question, I do enjoy the games.

I can pretend that I don't know the answer, and he will tell me. Gloating all the way about it.

Telur Burung Puyuh

AKu ada cerita pasal pasar malam dulu. Ni kira additional information lah pasar benda-benda yang aku jumpa kat pasar malam dekat rumah aku ni.



harga semasa telur burung puyuh di pasar malam di kawasan rumah saya, ialah RM2.00 untuk 25 biji. Bagi RM10.00 telur, jika kita menggunakan kadar terus ialah 125 biji.

Saya suka makan telur puyuh kerana ianya kecil. Bite size orang puteh kata. Rasanya macam telur ayam jugak, tapi sekali masuk, ngap habis sebiji. Anak-anak saya pun suka makan telur puyuh.

Haziq yang pada mulanya geli melihat the spots on the eggs, refuse to eat it. Then saya kupas kulit telur tersebut (tanpa pengetahuannya) dan beri dia makan..dia kata dia suka. Lepas tu baru saya cakap irulah telur puyuh. Nasib baik dia OK about it.

Kalau saya order Yong Tau Foo pun saya akan ambik telur puyuh. Saya juga suka telur puyuh dalam Lai Chee Kang (Maaf saya tak tau ejaan kedua-dua makanan ini, mungkin Ah Beng boleh tolong.

Semalam saya masak nasi lemak. Saya rebus telur ayam biasa untuk the adults dan telur puyuh untuk bebudak. Dah saya ambik gambar telur tu kat pasar malam, kenalah jugak saya beli. tapi Tak apalah harganya RM2.00 sahaja. Lainlah kalau harganya RM10.00 untuk sedozen.

Saya juga teringat semasa saya kecil di Muar. kalau duduk-duduk makam mee bandung ke satay for breakfast kat Muar tu, mesti ada orang datang jual telur burung puyuh. kekadang mak saya beli. Saya tak tau harganya..tapi kalau mak saya beli tu, murahlah tu.

Lepas tu, aku teringat Kisah Nabi Musa a.s.. Ada cerita pasal quail. Tapi dalam translation bahasa Melayu is salwa (burung sebangsa puyuh). Kalau rajin bacalah kat bawah ni.

Dalam perjalanan menuju Thur Sina setelah melintasi lautan di bahagian utara dari Laut Merah dan setelah mereka (Bani Israel yang keluar dari Mesir di pimpin oleh Nabi Musa a.s. dan Nabi Harun a.s. ) merasa aman dari kejaran Fir'aun dan kaumnya. Mereka terserempa dengan sekelompok orang-orang yang sedang menyembah berhala dengan tekunnya.

We took the Children of Israel (with safety) across the sea. they came upon a people devoted entirely to some idols they had. They said :O Moses! Fashion for us A god like unto the gods they have. He said:Surely ye are a people Without knowledge.

As to these folk-The cult they are in is (but) a fragment of a ruin, and vain is the worship) which they practise.

He said: "Shall I seek for you A god other than the (true) God, when it is Allah who hath endowed you with gifts above the nations?

And remember We rescued you from Pharoah's people, who afflicted you with the worst of penalties, who slew your male children and saved alive your females: In that was a momentous trial from your Lord."7:138-141 Surah Al A'Raf

Then the group moved on heading to Mt. Sinai. It was a hot, scorching journey. There were no trees nor shades. So orang-orang Bani Israell yang keletihan, kepanasan, kelaparan mendesak Nabi Musa a.s. supaya memohon kepda Allah shelter and food.

We divided them into twelve tribes or Nations. we directed Moses by inspiration, when his (thirsty) people asked Him for water: "Strike the rock with thy staff" : out of it there gushed forth twelve springs: Each group knew its own place for water. We gave them the shade of clouds, and sent down to them manna and quails, (saying) "Eat of the good things We have provided for you" " (buth they rebelled) : to Us. They did no harm, but they harmed their own souls. 7:160 - Surah Al A'Raf

But still they are not happy. Sangat manja mereka tu. Insatiable lot they are. And they asked Moses to give them more because they are bored with one type of food.

And remember ye said:"O moses! We cannot endure one kind of food (always); so beseech thy Lord foe us to produce for us what the earth groweth-its pot-herbs, and cucumbers, its garlic, lentils, and onions" He said:"Will you exchange the better for the worst? Go ye down to any town, and ye shall find what ye want!" 2:61 - Al Baqarah

There was also the mentioning of quails like in the verse 7:160 in Al Baqarah 2:57

And we gave you the shade of clouds and sent down to you manna and quails, saying: "Eat of the good things We have provided for you" " (buth they rebelled) : to Us. They did no harm, but they harmed their own souls. 2:57 - Surah Al Baqarah .

So itulah cerita saya hari ni yang ada kena mengena dengan burung puyuh or salwa or quails as mentioned in the Quran.

The Soul of Malaya

I am reading this book now - The Soul of Malaya by Henri Fauconnier.

I have not finished reading it yet, for I am a slow reader. It took momentum for me to read and due to my excessive mass, my inertia is also slow. So I decided to put up a short review of series of excerpts to share with you.

Basically this book is about a french guy who came to Malaysia in the year 1901 as a planter. He started as a manager in a rubber plantation in Bukit Sampah. I am not sure where Bukit Sampah is.

The book has illustrations of photos and sketches. This is just fascinating, looking at sketches of our country where the forest was still dense.

It is about a french man's love-hate relationship with a British friend, and him learning about life in Malaya. French were not popular here in Malaya. They colonised Indo-China instead during those days.

This is a novel with accounts of social commentaries of what Malaya was like in the early 20th century, at least in the author's view.

Anyway, I just like to share this particular excerpt with you for now

"Stark had engaged a tall bearded Bengali who represented public authority and marched about the plantation like an Eastern King. I discovered that the principal task of this superb specimen was to see to it that the coolies disposed their excrements elsewhere than in the middle of the road. The Tamil does not like exposing his skin in sheltered places where demons and mosquitoes lurk. He prefers the open. All day long the Bengali concentrated his eyes and his mind in the search for exhibits, for each of which he received a reward of ten cents when he was able to denounce the perpetrator. So he was constantly on the look out for his exhibits and also for the Estate Manager whom he delighted to honour with a grand military salute.

One morning, a break of dawn, I saw him squatting, in the middle of the road, after which he dissapeared. A coolie passed. The Bengali leapt upon him. Accusations, protests, and an uproar.....

The Eastern King was later dismissed."

My conclusion : Not all work should be rewarded with commissions.

What's yours?

Yay to Haziq!

Haziq did quite well for his first year in school, I must say. Today is his school's award-giving day. He bagged six awards out of eight..so I can't help to feel a little bit gloaty today.

Haziq was more than exhilarated. He kept on chattering about today's award day all throughout the weekend. So I took the opportunity to tell him a thing or two about not to boast and brag, that he can do it within the walls of the house but not to other people. Confidence can also be mistaken as arrogance and he might irk someone by mistake.

I am such an anti climax mother huh? And here I am putting it on the blog for the whole internet world to see.

OK OK he is only in Primary One..no big deal and it doesn't make him extra genius or anything. It's just it's good to boost his motivation and hopefully, you know, he will stay ahead. And yes I like him excelling in academics, but there are other values that I like him to have too. I hope I can nurture him well.

So imagine this.. he got six throphies! Goodness! Six little plastic throphies.

The other day he wanted a brand new Faber Castell pencil colours and I told him, I'm sure you will get them for this award day. I remembered getting those stuff plus pencils, books, pecil box and what nots. And now we have these plastic throphies perching there on a proud boy's table, soon to be collecting dust. However, I understand that the throphies are actually cheaper than buying stationeries.

Now, I thought of giving him something. The main reason why I feel like giving him something is because he didn't ask for any. I never make a habit of exchanging gifts to performing duties. I give when I feel like doing so. I think he knows this trick too, since he never ask for anything unless jokingly.

But I don't know what to give. I give books all the time. What do you think of the Art Attack stuff eh? Nice? Probably will keep him busy this school holidays too?

And to top it, Haziq has not skipped fasting. This is the first time him fasting and he has not skipped any. I am truly surprised, more so because I haven't done much to encourage him in the first place. Either I actually have a good son or I am actually an intimidating mother. Despite I am not encouraging, I am actually threatening!! Muahahaha.

Alhamdullilah.

Pantai Puteri, Melaka.

Last weekend aku balik kampung mertua kat Melaka. Ritual biasa balik kampung is aku akan borong ikan, udang and stuff kat tepi pantai Puteri. Dulu pantai ni dia orang panggil Pantai Kundur. I don't know why they change the name.

So dah pi beli ikan, angkutlah bebudak sekali dengan anak saudara aku semua main-main tepi pantai tu. Kat sini tak boleh mandi pun. Air dia tak bersih sangat. Main-main tepi pantai ajele. Lari-lari macam cerita hindustan. Cuba tengok Batrisyia kat gambar Row 1, Column 5 (1,5). Pastu boleh lari celah-celah pokok ru (3,4).

Kat sini gak ada fishering activities. The second row picture gambar-gambar aktiviti nelayan. Gambar bulat tu (2,3) itu gambar net dia and the next picture is gambar jala yang dah dibungkus. The two guys tengah kemaskan jala dia orang (2,5) and they were talking. There were other fishermen there who were looking at me. I think being the only female there with a camera must look err strange..no I don't think so? Appetizing? Err I hope not.

Kat pantai puteri ni jugak, masa bulan Ramadhan ada Bazaar Ramadhan. The picture was taken on Sunday where coincidentally ada pasar malam. (3,1) so sesak sikitlah.

If you drive down South sikit dari pantai tu, ada tempat tu panggil Tg. Kling. Kat situ ada Power Station which does not belong to TNB anymore It can generate about 300MW of power. The Combined Cycle 3x110MW power station serves power to the main city of Melaka and the Northern part of Johore.

Anyway I thought teluk kecil yang ada power station tu quite nice (3,2). Can you see the power station's chimney? Kat situ jugak ada jeti kecil. When we were there, they were moving some vessels onto a barge. (3,3). Those vessels are manufactured in Malacca and will be exported to Qatar. Aku cakap kat lover aku, hah sangkut ajele kat vessel ni, terus sampai Qatar. The barge will be towed to Port Klang and then the vessels will be shipped to Qatar.

From Pantai Puteri tu you can see an impressive long protruding jetty (3,5). That one is for the PETRONAS's refinery. My lover help build part of the jetty. He was in charge of this thing called intake basin and something else on the jetty itself. Whateverlah...

Then aku bawak Jack2 jalan-jalan kat pantai tu. Those are our shadows. The one with the big butt is the photographer. Jack2 stopped at every little thing that interest him. That's the thing about little kids. Everything is learning. We found a dead fish on the beach. Then there was also belangkas. I don't know what he learn from this walk. I just know it was a hot day and I am burnt.

Anyway lepak-lepak tengok bebudak main pasir, I looked up and saw the tree branch looking like a heart shape. I turned to my lover and pointed out to him. He didn't see a thing. I took photo and pointed it to him. Ni kira macam mistletoe lah ni kan, since we don't have Olive twigs let alone the tree.

Eh! Puasa boleh romen ringan-ringan kan siang?

Advise on Zakat

Can someone advise me on whether my helper (from Indonesia) needs to pay her Zakat Fitrah or not? Or anything related to the matter. Anything..Thank you.

Don't Want! Lemme go! Lemme Go!

I don't think I want to do that again Ayah. I wanna go back and play with the sand.

Oh no you are not. You are coming with me.

This is so not fair! I am the youngest..I know. I am the smallest..I know. You ain't going to make me do what I don't want to do. Noooo! Lemme go! Lemme go! help help! Someone help!

Stop snapping pictures woman! Take him!

Huwaaaa! I told you I ain't washing the car again! I'm too shortttt!

Haziq's Exam Preparation

I think this is the exam week for nearly all primary school goers except for the Standard sixers since they just finished their UPSR. Most Hot Gucci Mamas I know are busy making sure that their children are coping with the exams well.

Me too! Me too! I was looking at Haziq's exercise books, activity books, workbook and textbooks while intermittently surfing the blog, reading to Sya, babbling to Jack2, shouting at them, reading, watch TV, quilting and jahit tulang belut. I am a multi tasker. Then I set some questions to test how far he understand. Sometimes I make him write because I want to see his methods for maths, his jawi or for the fact that I don't want him to disturb me.

During the Maths session with me, which he faired OK, in my standard. My standard not so high la. Dapat 98% pun kira oklah tu. He he. But there is one question which he couldn't answer. Hmmppphhh. Maybe you can help him.


There are eleven apples in the box. Lolita took seven oranges out of it. How many oranges are left?

Should I punish him for not being able to answer?

Four Firsts

Today, as we all know is our first day of ramadhan. I am fasting today. Not the time for "bendera Jepun" just yet. Last year aku puasa penuh, sebab aku mengandungkan Zachary. Masa itu awal-awal aku ngandung, so banyak angin dalam badan. Buka puasa aje muntah balik. Sahur aje muntah balik. The horrors. Aku cengkung tak kasi can. Tapi aku malas tak nak puasa. Sebab pertama aku tak larat nak ganti. Berpuasa waktu bulan tak puasa begitu banyak dugaannya. Secondly aku tak sure about the fidyah thingy, aku tak puasa because I am worried about me or the baby. Personally I think the baby will be fine, but I don't want to get into the situation yang syak wasangka tu. So I fast.

Genrally I am the type yang malas nak bangun sahur. I woke up, only for a glass of plain water and kurma then kebabo aku tidur balik. If I want to eat pun, I would eat late at night or very early in the morning. But this year would be different. My eldest, Haziq, wants to try fasting this year. And I said ok, it's a good age to try fasting. Even though I remembered I only fast when I was 9. Haziq is 7. But kids nowadays are advanced by at least for a few years. If for a good cause, why not? This is Haziq's first day of fasting in his entire life.

Batrisyia only ask, kita kena pakai baju apa masa puasa? Boleh pakai baju cantik tak?

So I woke up at 4:30 and fried some ikan bawal. That is also my first in my entire life. Cook for sahur. Sayur daun-daun aje. Potong bawang sikit and the red chillies campuran dalam kicap, letak air sikit dalam kicap tu bubuh gula sikit aje just to compensate the salty taste. So makan ikan cicah kicap pedas. Gigit-gigit cili dengan bawang tu yang sedap tu. Dan makanlah sahur simple aje.

Haziq woke up, sleepy eyes and all. He ate little. I insisted he drink the hot milo and ate kurma. He hates the korma. But I made him ate.

Then I sliced up some mangoes. So itu ajelah sahur.

Today the 5th October also marks my first year of blogging. I think it has been, for me, a self satisfying adventure. Ala-ala syok sendiri gitu. My first intention was to record things I go through in my mundane life. So later on, in life, in case I have gone senile, I can read back and who knows I may remember myself again or laugh at this Lollies.

And I am glad for all these for I have made friends with many. I don't even have to go anywhere, I can sit on my big fat ass and still make friends. Some of you guys have helped me a lot in so many ways that you probably do not even realise. It's amazing to find friends this way. Thank you to YM too.

There are some that I have met, live, up close and personal and some remain friends in the comment and haloscan box. And all have driven up the curiosity and the funny bone in me.

Because of blogging I also know the term LOL and the smiley faces :-)..even though I still do not know what this symbol means =). Where are the eyes?

So today, the 5th October has a lot of firsts.

Saya ucapkan Selamat Berpuasa kepeda mereka yang diwajibkan berpuasa dengan ucapan buat apa tu? Korek hidung ke?

Lollies the Sadist

Ohhh don't I love procrastination. Wait a minute! I have not been proscrastinating..I was just taking a slower pace trying to finish up the report because I have to be detail. Yes! So that mistakes are not made.

But this week, have been crazier than usual. I went home late nearly everyday. Sleeping hours are crazy. Waking up, typing, running after Jack2. Full awake discussing the next day. And I am working throughout the bloody weekend. (I am in the office now alone, pretending I am working).

Yesterday we had to finalise the presentation. All of us stayed back. And suddenly, suddenly..I felt that hey..I like this man. I like this adrenalin pumping rush. I like argument and blame storming in the meeting room. I like laughing at my colleagues and in return being laughed at.

I like thinking of words to fool impress the audience. Words like "system is relatively weak in P state" or "system is comparatively strong in S state", but in essence we are trying to say the same thing. This is all about being tactful.

I like listing all the numbers with units at the back. Units that some people, among the audience, who may not know but refrain asking because it would make them look stupid. Muahahaha.

I love using the G word gor Giga and giving costs in billions. I love quoting important government meetings. The JPPPET meeting conducted by the Ministry himself will always keep the audience quiet.

I love tabling out the confusing, all numbers and data of the simulation result. You can't convince them, confuse them.

And I think, honestly, deep down inside, most of the employees in the corporate world and even masochist while gulping her frappe actually enjoy this last minute rush. Going through the power points, doing the hyperlink thing, putting one or even two big words with big jargons..

Come on people, admit it, you like it don't you? You swear that you are stressed out. You swear that your eyeballs are coming out and that you have bags under your eyes. You snap to your colleagues. You get snapped yourself. You hate your boss.

But deep down, you really like it. You sadist you.

I love this adrenalin rush.

Because deep down I love pain. Yes baby whip me!