PARANOIA

I always take my time after fetching Batrisyia from school in the afternoon. We would stop at a bench in the small park midway to our house. JackJack would be happily running around. Most of the time we would finish up the food that I pack for Batrisyia's school break. The sun is quite fierce in the afternoon, but sitting under the shade, with the wind blowing is really nice and cooling. A great break after a whole morning of housework.

Yesterday two Indian ladies with their kids passed by and looked at me strangely. I thought they were the one who were strange. I wondered why they skipped the nice park. It is a shorter route and a much pleasant one rather than walking under the scorching sun. They were not discrete about staring at me though. They must have thought that I am a maid finishing up my employer's kids' food.

I don't like the way they stare. I really don't.

Today Batrisyia had extra special food. It was someone's party. Batrisyia's friend, Allisson who is a quarter Korean. So we gobbled up Bounty and Snickers and Batrisyia put on the party hat and blow up that thing that makes noise and roll paper out.

Then there was this boy, about five year old perhaps. He was cycling and when he saw us, he stopped and watched. He watched us for so long that I am beginning to get wary. But I let him. He went away after a while.

But he came back after that. And just watched us. Okay I know he is just a kid..but I don't like it. I do not know what kids are like here. With stories I heard, I don't think I like to know. I was beginning to imagine that he would come and snatch Batrisyia's party pack away. Not that they are anything of worth. And not that I couldn't stop him or anything. He is a kid for god's sake. I just don't like it. I don't like him just being there, watching.

So I told Batrisyia to hurry and pulled JackJack away. He followed. When I stopped for Zachary to pick some rubbish up, the kid stopped too. Batrisyia who was oblivious started to run ahead blowing that thing whatchamacallit. Then he cycled faster. I can hear the shackling of his rusty bicycle chain tinkling tankling. So I called out to Batrisyia in Malay to stay with me and I got angry when she didn't listen.

I shouted at Sya and I stopped. I told her to come to me for I am not happy with this bicycle boy.

He stopped too.

Now this is a kid. Should I be worried? For all I know he probably wanted to be friends. He probably wanted the chocolates. Or could it be that he was the one who was afraid to pass by me. Could it be that he was on his way home and was in fact surprised to see me there. His parents told him, be wary of strangers, particularly who gobble up their kids food.

But I am a mother. I have two kids with me. I just do not want anything to happen to any of us and I would be too clumsy to do anything. I do not want him to know where I live either.

They say, attack is the best defense.

So I made a stop. I turned to him. He stopped too.

Really he is just a kid.

I asked, "Where are you going boy?"

He just stared.

You are not following me eh?

He just stared.

Well, because if you are, it's not very nice okay? I don't want you to follow me alright? OK?

He just stared. Wide eyes and all.

Then I left and pulled the kids away and got home still looking back. In case he is still following.

You know what..I think he doesn't understand English.