Parenting Skills

If there is any in me. Allah musta'an.

Every Friday morning (which is the weekend over here), I will tell the children to clean up my little garden. Pull out the weeds, pick all the dried leaves, sweep and sometimes wash the steps. The have been doing it every Friday not whole heartedly I suppose. But this is what I call character building Insya Allah. And plus because I can.

Last friday Jack came snuggling beside me and complained and complained like he usually does. He complained to me about Haziq. That Haziq is always angry at him, that Haziq accused him of being slow and Haziq always take his job away when he was going to do this. Abang is always angry at me.

I always watch them when they are together supposedly working and Jackjack being the youngest and sometimes either clueless or just plain lazy is always working ever so slow. He would sometimes get so involved in his own imaginary world of fighting zombies and stuff, he would be playing by himself and sway his broom or brush everywhere.

He usually gets the easiest job which is to put the collected leaves in the plastic and put it near the bin. But he would spend his time "fighting" that the he forgot about his job. And usually he would rush when I am down there for inspection or when his abang and akak are nearly finished. Then he got panicked and complain even more.

So after he complained, I hugged him and said to him, maybe you are playing too much and not doing your job properly. He retorted, I am doing my job!" It's abang who always take my job away! So I told him today, you must quickly put the leaves away in the bin, so abang doesnt take your job away and he doesnt get angry. Of course he would say, "Abang will still be angry." Yeah he complains a lot. Peck in the cheek. A tickle. He was fine Insya Allah.

Then later, haziq came to me complaining about Jack. he was only playing. he never does his work. And when I told him to be quick, he got angry. Then because I cannot wait any longer, I had to finish his work for him, then he got angry.

Then I told him to be patient. he is only seven and very imaginative. Give him small task, and remnd him often because little kids need more reminders. Never finish his work for him. You can slightly punish him by leaving him when you are all done, or threaten him sometime before you are going to actually finish. But as the bigger one and also the leader you have to know his talents and his weaknesses and play with it. Gentle but stern. And in the end, you have me to report to. You have to instill team work and keep the team happy so that all of you achieve the same goal - i.e. please me (and a clean frontyard).

And remember Haziq, I had to deal with you when you are at that age.

This is all so funny I think. Their squabble. Their argument. But I need to skill to be somewhat fair and also not demotivating either. Otherwise I can easily say, O shaddap!

I pray that they are close with each other even after I am gone.

__________________

It is worth to note also, that no one has a fight with Sya. Sya diligently pull out weeds, cut off unwanted branches and throw things away. Allahuma Bareek.