Sore

This is not fair. So not fair. Shout out loud! Not fair!

I am still gloating over my perfect teeth. With or without retainer, at the moment, I deserve this feel good. Don't I. At any chance I got (eating time) I would flash my teeth. I would remind people that I am not wearing braces anymore. *FLASH TEETH! BIG GRIN!*

And today, today I am cast with this thing. This thing called cold sore. Why do they call it cold sore anyway, when it is hurting mad and blistering hot. Here look here, these ugly boils at the corner of my lips.

It is not enough that I had to suffer for years enduring the pain of the braces tightened.

It is not enough that I have to brave myself to eat during these pain. If there is such award of "The most determined person to eat through pain, that would be me.

It is not enough that I had to suffer blisters each time my kids knocked their head to that area. Blisters will worsen to ulcers. Make screw up face just thinking about it.

It is not enough that I had to go through this retainer emberassing myself with slurpy speech and dribbling.

And now, I must have cold sore. Ugly, ugly cold sore.

I remembered the first time I had cole sore.That was when I lost my cold-sore virginity. I didn't know what it was. My good friend Aowyn, the redhead Scottish, went around saying Lollies has herpes, Lollies has herpes. Herpes? Oh shit where did I get that from?

Scientifically cold sore is known as herpes simplex. It is also a cousin to chicken pox which is herpes something , I forgot

Anyway, today is Friday. Look at fingers counting the days. Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday Three more days to the day of my flight. I plan to look good. I bought a Zara suede jacket. And I swear I look good in striped shirt and an A-line skirt with ankle boots. Wouldn't I look good on the day I'm flying off? You agree?

With perfect teeth some more.

Only to be spoilt by cold sore!

Well I guess there are two ways to look at it.

One : I could have it even when I have braces on, and that is definitely double whammy

Two : At least the cold sore is now when the braces are off. So cold sore on good teeth is not too bad.

Let's choose number two. Just to make me happy.

On another note. This is perhaps my last entry as I am cutting off my line tomorrow. Just hope I got a line quickly so I can see all of you again.

If you miss me that much, you can read up all my past entries. And if that is not enough you can look at some photos HERE.

Will definitely miss you. Take care meanwhile. And you'd better be blogging when I am back!

GRIN and WAVES frantically.

Brace(s off) Myself

Well well well whaddayaknow. I've got my braces off last Tuesday!!

So you don't know what I am talking about eh?

I have been wearing braces, for my teeth, that is, for more than two years now. This was for no other purpose other than the vanity in me. But for two very long years I have been going around, scaring little children with my smile. Some people have plastic smile. I had an iron smile or steel smile or a robot smile.

But now no more braces. Woo hooo. Smile with me people.

Errr..did I tell you though that I still have to wear something on my teeth. The retainer. I had no idea that retainer is like wearing dentures. You know with that plastic palate. Urrggghh! I hate it! I nearly puke putting that thing on! I was going around feeling like puking.

Anyway, I had to wear the retainer all the time except when I eat and brush my teeth. So if any of you want to meet up with me, you'd see me without the retainer for I am sure meeting equates to eating. Eating is no no for retainers.

And worst, I can't speak properly when I wear them. It's like I have a short tounge or something. I can't speak fast as well..for no one can understand me. This drive me crazy! So I was babbling and babbling to my lover, and he had no clue what I am talking about. Grrrrrrr!


So now new teeth for brand new life eh? I shall brace myself to the future ahead with sparkling perfect alligned teeth. I will smile and bare it to all, full of confident and will look perfect as an expat's wife. The lady of leisure I am.

Eh, I forgot I must wear the retainer at all times! Duhhh!

My Helper

Again many ask what would I do with my helper, now that we are going to Q@tar. I wanted to bring her there. I even told her on the possibilities. Alas, the ruling there was, Indonesian maids can only work for the Q@taris and no other nationalities. So, no luck on both of us.

She was my first helper. I remembered the jitters waiting for a helper to come. Anyway, you'd probably remember my entry of my Pep Talk with her on her first day with me. I had numerous other talks with her after that too. Initially it was once a week, than once a month, than whenever the need arises. It will evolve on instructions on the things she need to do or that she has done wrong or even how she find her stay here.

It's all a learning experience for me, for her and also for my children.

As for me, I had to learn to live in the lack of privacy. My lover couldn't just walk around without his shirt on and just boxers. I couldn't cook in my birthday suit. No more adventure in the kitchen and what nots. Privacy is just not there.

But my another bigger tasks are my kids. I am amazed at how kids learn to be the prince and princess in just a short while. One morning, I saw Haziq having his breakfast while my helper put his school shoes on for him. Enough that my helper helped put his bags in my car and all, but having see her squat and put his shoes on while he eat, somehow ticked me. That very night both of them are summoned upstairs. She, my helper, being told not to treat Haziq like a king. Haziq being instructed to take his bag downstairs, put it in the car, put on his shoes and be ready for me, on time! "And if Ibu see bibik putting on your shoes for you, both of you will get a smack from me!"

I also overheard Batrisyia shouting at my helper to put on the TV for her while she lie down on the couch in front of the TV and the remote is just reachable. Suffice to say, that she didn't get to watch TV for an hour, and had to put it on by herself from then on.

It was also an experience for my helper. Remember my posting about her first bash from the bitch next door? (Clicklah kalau nak baca. dengan yang ini)

Within seven months, all have understood my rulings and everything looks good. Batrisyia probably reminded my helper of her own daughter back in Indonesia. It's a pity that her stay with us is just for a short while. She is a good helper. I am not a fussy employer either.

Sometimes I think she doesn't have anything to do at all. Particularly when I am back from work. The general rulings are, the kids are mine once I got home. I will bathe them myself and I will feed all of them myself. She can help clear things up later.

One night I saw her reading "Mastika". She got it from my parents. Hmmmfff. So I bought her magazines. Carefully selecting that the contents at least has some intelligent provoking ideas. No romance, no skimpy clothes girl, mostly religion. I bought her story books. All Malay books. I even buy her Utusan sometimes. Last week I saw her reading Haziq's Muqaddam. The one with translation. Which is fine.

She is good. If you are fussy, you may find faults. But otherwise, she is really a good helper. She takes care of the kids fine. And she is not "gatal". (err horny?) She likes to cook too, except that I do most of the cooking. So she tried her hands on desserts, which is yummy. But I had to tell her to stop, fearing that my children (and myself) will get fat.

Many wanted her, knowing that I couldn't take her to Qatar. After discussions with her, we finally agreed that she go with my friend, of whom her helper had ran away with a man. My helper wanted a household with young children, to keep her busy with their little quirks.

I will send her off on Sunday, a day before I leave for Qatar. I pray that things will go well for her. I pray that she will earn enough to give a better life for both herself and her daughter. And also hope, her future employer,( I understand that she reads my blog sometimes) will take good care of her and treat her well.

I am thankful that in her short stay with me, I had a peace of mind. It's not easy to find a good helper nowadays.

Sorry

First of all, I feel sorry for my closestest (super superlative for close) friend. They won't be able to comprehend my behaviour the past few weeks or perhaps months. You see when I am bitter, instead of moping and garnering sympathy, I got angry. I snapped at people whom I loved most, and I got wind up on small issues. Criticising everything, I made them feel not appreciated.

Don't look at me in the eyes my friend. Just hug me and leave me. Leave me with my quirky behaviour.

I don't want you to see me cry.

I am missing you already.

I am Such A Friggin' Emo

This last few days in the office is making me really emo. Have been going for numerous lunches, breakfast, taking opportunity raya at people's hosues and saying goodbyes, calling people to my house and saying goodbyes.

All these goodbyes and kisses and hugs are making me even more difficult to swallow the big lump in my throat and cry as the days of my departure is getting nearer. I am so friggin' emo, am I not?

When I first moved to this new office, (Read my clever way of hiding secret stuff during movement here In Disguise), I was supposed to get a room. But of course in a big organisation, bureaucracy and budget allocation can slow things down. So only now that they are starting the office renovation. ONLY NOW! And yesterday I had to move my computers (so I can maintain blogging in the office. I don't do any real work here anymore) to a temporary corner while they make a room out of my cubicles.

So I was staring at it while they ripped my cubicle off naked. And I got friggin' emo.

People in the office are coming to me asking for my flat 17" monitor. One of them wanted my Altec Lansing speakers and subwoofer. They are now arguing over my vacant room which has windows. One of them already wrote necessary letters to ensure that he got my parking spot. And I got friggin' emo.

But it's okay, I am alright with all those. They are giving me presents also. I even got a 200GB external hard disc. Wah lau wei! Am I not the favourite rose here in the office?

Anyway, I couldn't stand it yesterday, listening to the wrecking, drilling and sitting through dust in the office being emo and all. I forced a friend for lunch. A friend who is outside my office world. I had lunch at KLCC even! I just need to get out of the office and I also wanted to see this guy before I go off. Mana tau boleh tap sikit berkat yang ada kat dia.

I was having lunch listening to his amazing stories and that's when my office mate smsed me. She said today is her last day for she is talking a one week leave. She wanted a last hug with me but I was out lunching and still lunching at three. She said something off mintak maaf jika diau ada buat aku terasa and all. And I lost all my machoness and my eyes got warm and watery. Focus Lollies! Focus! You don't want this guy to see you crying. Perhaps my lunch mate find me crazy and wondered what's with me. Sorrylah, I am just friggin' emo.

Then I went back to the office to find more presents waiting for me. Two beautiful coloured recipe books from a few of my office mates. I stayed for a bit and ran off driving around Damansara, Kelana Jaya and god knows where. I didn't even punch out yesterday. I was that friggin' emo.

In attempt to divert my mind's off this emo stuff, showed my friend some pictures off my camera. I showed his some art sculpture thing I devised out of two little patung kecil. One boy and one girl in a very compromising positions. Pornographic for some to be shown here.

And finally we were both convinced that I was supposed to be born as a boy. My parents must have secretly wished that they had a boy as their first child but had a beautiful girl instead. And the fact that the baby was beautiful, they thanked God and raised me accordingly.

I am running away at the slight notion of losing machoness, I cannot handle emotion well, I am mixing with the guys more than girls and they think I am their best friend, I like certain art too :-P. Could it be that emotionally, I am a man?

But that's only myth about man kan? Don't mind me, a friggin' emo person. They can't think rationally anyway

The Surroundings of My Little Hut

Many asked what would I do to my house when I leave for Qatar. The answer is, I will just leave it the way it is. I am not renting it nor am I selling it. For I need a place to stay when I come back to Malaysia later. Plus I still have some junks in the house and I don't think I like the idea of people using those. My parents will probably come once in a while to see the house.

I will certaily miss my house particurlaly when it gets hot in Qatar later. I live right next to the Air Hitam Forest Reserve where the forest is semi dense. The area is cool and is always foggy especially when it rains.

When it stop raining, and little sun peaked out..I would walk around or linger with the kids. It would be very pleasant indeed. Ada ala-ala macam kat UK gitu except that no asap keluar dari mulutlaaa.



This is a picture of somebody else's house. My house is not photogenic enough to be shown on the web.

The thing about living next to the forest is of course the monkeys. Those little rascals were always up to something at our houses. Ni yang jenis kera ni. Small ones. They can slip through the grills even. We have donated them jemput-jemput, limau mandarin and bananas, of course unwillingly. We had to tell off our neighbour's maid who thinks feeding monkey is cute and very animal lover act. But this, as a matter of fact, will only encourage them to make a city out of the neighborhood's area.



Jom take a walk at the alley behind my house. Can you see the fence? That's the border of the housing area and the forest. There is also a monsson drain there. During heavy rain, you can hear the rush of water and imagine that you live near the river.



The signboard says, HUTAN SIMPAN KEKAL - DILARANG MASUK. I don't know how kekal is this kekal. There were talks of Anak Toyo tu nak buat development kat sini. After the Bukit Cerakah story, things have been quiet. We'll see how far this forest can be there.

Anyway, besides monkey, someone stumbled across a female phython sometime ago. A real big one. I think it's the size of my thigh. And my thighs are big. Some Indonesian renovation guys beat it up to my horrors. The bomba pun satu cekadak. When we called, they said, tak ada sapa ke yang nak ular tu. Can you handle it. When they came 2 hours later and the phython was beaten up to near death, they told us this is an extinct species. I was pregnant with Zachary and people were giving me strange tales about this cruel death of the boa constrictor. I pity the phython. I think it was trying to grab one of the monkeys and stumbled down the cliff and couldn't make it up.

Anyway because of this I tak jadi nak buat little Bali kolam with fish and all. Tak rela saya kalau kolam tu nanti ada ular melingkar pulak kang.



This is Haziq and his best friend, Omar, our neighbour's son. Ni betul-betul belakang rumah I.

I am going to miss my little hut, with or without the little kolam bali.

Pot Luck Disaster

Sesuatu pot luck boleh jadi disaster kalau orang tak ikut kata organiser atau ada orang bawak yang jauh lebih sedap dari apa yang aku masak. Huwaaaaa.

Hari ini ada pot luck kat opis aku. Soma dah ditugaskan bawak ikut main dish. Aku bawak nasi minyak. Ada bawak kari kambing, acar nenas and biasalah nasi impit and the whole gang bank, tukang buat air exotic tanpa alkohol, bawak buah grape tanpa biji, puding buat sendiri, sambal buat sendiri. Pendek kata syaratnya buat sendiri.



Tapi ada pulak makcik baru ni yang bila orang tanya nak bawak apa rahsia, rahsia. Tak nak kasi tau apa dia mau bawak. Tau tak apa dia bawak? Dia pi cater nasi arab apa entah yang ada campur daging, satu set lagi campur ayam, cater kari udang, paceri, acar. Tapai pun dia cater. Dia tau tak aku dah cop nasi??!!!!



Macam ni, dia ajele bawak semua. Cater habis. Tak payah buat pot luck.

Sekarang nasi aku dah berlebih-lebih. Sapa nak habiskan? Bungkus bawak balik? Sedih aku tau. Plus aku ada berlambak-lambak open house hari ni. Sapa yang nak makan tu?

Pas tu, korang pun tau aku tak geti masakkan? Penat aku masak malam semalam. Macamana aku nak compete dengan nasi arab yang banyak haiwan terselit-selit celah nasi tu!!!!

So how?

I met a friend sometime ago who has amazingly slim down after givng birth. For I am quite an understanding person and also a natural motivator, I asked her, so how did you get this svelte figure so quick dahling. You look great. I said envily, while tucking in the flabs under my tight granny white girdle.

She said, listen ok, "Oh! Easy peasy Lollies. All I did was, I stopped snacking on the biscuits and chocolates and brownies. You know how I love cookies. But they are the real culprits. So I just stop eating them and I slimmed down. Good eh? Surely Lollies, you can do it too." She said, glancing at my escaped flabs.

Hmmm..so I can do it too.

My only problem is, I don't snack on cookies nor brownies nor biscuits at all. And I am cautious on chocolates too.

And I am still fat!

How maaa?

Happy Angry

Haziq : Ibu can someone be happy angry?

Know-everything Ibu : When you're happy, you're happylah. Asal pulak nak happy and angry

Haziq : But Haziq tengok ada yang boleh happy angry?

Still know-everything Ibu : Iya ka? Sapa?

Haziq : Mojo Jojo tu.

Haziq : Dia ketawa, tapi Haziq rasa sebenarnya dia angry. Happy angry lah tu




Oh okay. Tu banyak juga aku buat tu. Bebudak pun boleh nampak tau orang berlakun ke sincere ni. Expression muka tu penting. And expression muka pun lahir dari hati. Unless kita sanggup berlakun aje all the time. Even babies can tell when their mother is in bad mood or sad and sometime, they reciprocate.

Tapi yalah kesian jugak mojo jojo tu. Dulu he was a normal monkey. Entah apa silap professor tu punya ujikaji, tetiba dia ada brain besar bagak, making him super smart. And then professor dah ada power puff girl yang all sweet spice and smell nice, dah dia lebihkan powerpuff girl. So bengkaklah jugak mojo jo tu.

Hah ni ada lagi satu yang I can think off. The Joker from cerita Batman. Man he definitely has issues

Pink Sya's Concert

Look at what they Sya wear for her concert yesterday! All pinkness! But that's okay. Look at the ribbons on her arms. I would probably not get that gown for that thing on her arm. And if she were older, she wouldn't want that either. It makes her a bit errr plump. Shhh don't tell her that.



She was all excited. Why wouldn't she. She finally get to put make up on her face. I don't usually like that. But I have been little girl before. And stage time means make up time. And like many other little girls with lipstick on, they don't seem to be able to close their mouth. Perhaps the weight of the lipstick was too heavy on her.





Then the teacher got her tiara and when flocked together, I thought they look really nice. Like one of those animated barbie doll fairy-princess series. Isn't that the dream thing for girly little girls. Why is it some parents do not like their little girls to be a girl? Does being girly girls show lack of strength?

I had to breastfeed Zachary to sleep and I wrongly chose the camera setting for my lover. Thus the blurry pictures. But just enjoy the essence of pinkness.

The Colourful Muar

Welcome to Bandar Muar. The colourful Muar Town. There this one year, Muar has changed its' colour to pastel. And every row ada different colours. I must say, okay jugaklah effort ni. Nampak macam Europe pulak sikit-sikit. Kalau Majlis Daerah Muar Selatan tu boleh solvekan masalah orang double parking tu mesti lagi best.

Muar ni jalan dia mostly one way street. On both sides of the road, boleh parking kereta secara side parking. Sebab tulah aku terer side parking. Imagine bawak kereta bapak aku yang tak ada power steering tu, aduss berposak-posak jugaklah nak masuk side park. Pulak tu tengah on the look out nak cari parking, orang rapat aje kat belakang.

Lagi satu, waktu tengahari most shops akan turunkan blinds yang ada nama company kedai tu, sebab nak avoid panas matahari. So imagine yourself walking along the alley of the shops, you can't really see the view outside, because of the blinds. Yang you boleh nampak are the sparrows flying around above you.

So one afternoon, I was walking, crossing the street. It was a quiet afternoon. There were not many cars. There were not many people. It was hot. All blinds were down.

I can still remember crossing a particular street. I remembered noticing a van. A black van. The kind of van where there were no windows at the back. The one that people use to forward goods. Like I said, Muar is full of one way street. The vehicles were all coming from my left. And thus the van. It drove slowly, I remembered. It was so slow, that I was sure it was going to stop. Presumably, the van wanted to do double parking.

Then I heard, the van's passenger door slides open. In that split second, a thought crossed me, why is the van opening the door when it has not come to a proper halt. I looked at the driver. It was a man, and there was another man beside him. I felt that they were looking at me. I sense that the van was approaching me. I also felt that the van was actually trying to stop right behind me.

I then thought something is just not right. Then I changed direction. I walked faster to the right and walked within the many motorcycles parked at the road side. Then walked further into the shop alleys where I can hide behind the blinds. I peeked, the van was in front of me now. Stopped. There were men, whom I can only see their shadows at the back. I felt their eyes on me though. I felt that they were talking and strategising and were still looking at me. Like pack of wolves about to pound on a rabbit. Then the rabbit ran. The opposite direction, still within the alley. The van can't reverse. (One way street). Then I crossed the street. Still being aware of them. I stopped and looked. I know, unless the men run out of the van, they can't get me for they can't reverse without being honked and noticed.

Probabbly they decided, that running out would create a scene, which is best to avoid.

Then the van moved on, slowly. No one came out of it.

I wanted to have a haircut that day. I changed my mind and went home.

I am not sure what it was all about. But I have a feeling, though, that I wouldn't be here typing this if I had not been aware of my surroundings that afternoon. When I read stories of women being abducted, gang raped, sold off, I remembered that afternoon. Of course I can't be sure. For all you know, they were only lost.

But I ain't gonna take chances. If they were to grab me, no one would know and no one would see. The blinds would have blinded others and I'd be gone in a split second and perhaps manage a "ahh", a very lame scream.

This story, of course, is no way related to the colourful Muar.

The Date!

I think most of my ever faithful followers readers would probably know about me uprooting the whole family to go to a foreign land in the middle east, Q@t@r (I guess I need to put the @ thing eh?) If you are my new cult follower, you might want to read about my arduous decison here (Name this country and A Letter to Lollies Lover and This Whole Thing About Qatar). Otherwise just take my word for it that I shall be leaving to Qatar soon.

Those who know, and probably are genuinely going to miss actually having to see me everyday or miss having the notion that I shall not be blogging from Malaysia anymore, have been asking me, when am I actually going.

May I digress? I have learned not to be annoyed or afraid of people asking me the "when" questions. Unlike my lover. He has not mastered the art of accepting and answering the question.

I got engaged with my lover in September 1995 and got married in May 1997. I have endured the question of when are you getting married esecially from my parents who wanted me to marry as soon as possible. Urrgghhh

I got married in May 1997. Some people expect that you should conceive preferbally on the day you first make out with your lover. I remember the face of many makciks looking at me coming out from my room that morning. You know the morning when we are an actual husband and wife. Eeeii makcik-makcik ni, entah apa dalam kepala dia orang ni agaknya. I conceived, I think later in the same year.

Then while being pregnant, people are asking me, how many months are you on. And the child's sex. And when are you going to pop. I have been pregnant three times.

Then you have one child. And people are asking you, when is the next one.

Now that I have three kids, people are still asking me, when is the next one.

But people now have new questions for me. So when are you going to Q@tar?

My lover, who was at hist wits end since he has not received his visa yet and it has been seven months ago since the interview, couldn't face the deadly question.

But, me, I, Lollies can because Lollies is used to question. Lollies answer question gracefully for she is a true princess. I am actually greatful for the question because I know people love me. People ask because they care. Okay! Shut up for people who ask but just for the fact they only wanted my room in the office and my great car park (did I mention that the lady who took care of the office car parks actually gave me a great space because..I don't know why..because of nothing actually. No special favours. She just wanted to give it to me)..but as for other people, thank you for the concern.

Did I also mention to you that I babble when I am nervous or trying to divert your attention elsewhere. Hoping that you are bored with all these and would hit the comment box and not notice what I would be typing after this. We got our visa yesterday and would most likely be leaving on the 12th December. Why do I do that..because I do not want you to see me sad.

I am going to type some more since I am sure you are going to miss that paragraph. So, anyway, looking at the date it is very likely that I won't be able to make it on the third modbloggers meet up which I am already sad about. Elisa would be there so I can't hear from he about Al Khob@r. And I am sure it would be a blast. I think Nutty would be there too.

I am thinking about my parents alot and I am getting a big headache since yesterday. A real headache. You get that when you cry too much and also when you are trying to stifle a cry.

My lover's mum, my mother-in-law, was admitted to the hospital for short of breath last night. This is her second time. The last one was on the last fasting month. Not this year, the one before.

I think someone else in my household will also get a headache.

I love y'all.

Read Out Loud!

Now, now we all know that one of the best ways to spend quality time with your children is to read to them. Be it read to them, with them, listen to them read or seemingly reading or even you read alone, whatever. Reading is an activity worth to take up, anytime!

Reading is like killing many birds with one stone. You are encouraging early literacy, you get to spend time with them, bonding with them, you get to make them sit, they get to cuddle up with you and many other activities that can come out of reading activities.

It is also probably the easiest. I mean, you may not be able to

paint or draw or do paper mache because it end up being messy. Not to mention they would want to squeeze colour or glue as much as they can. they want to use scissors.

mould play dough. The only most creative thing that you can make out of play dough is a worm or a thin snake.

Too lazy to solve jigsaw puzzle

Gardening is messy

And you have put up the Barney VCD way too long now and is feeling dead guilty already.

So go on, read to your child.

But then the experts say, don't just read, but talk to them. Oh yes! Put life to your reading! Bring out the pictures and the words.

Oh! Look! Fingers! Let's count your fingers. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine and TEN!. Tickle! Tickle your tummy. Tickle your ears. Stick your finger into your nose! See! Subconciously they learn anatomies and numbers.

Big, red Ball Open arms wide for big
Small, blue ballMake small gesture to indicate small.
.
Thus they learn colours and sizes.

And and and..make reading fun. Let's add some singing. See they smile. And when they laugh with sparkling eyes, you know you got them. You know they are enjoying it. Even when litlle JackJack is clueless to the rhyming, singing is always fun.

And when they ask you to repeat, you know it's working.

Then they ask again. Shove the book for you to read and sing.

And you sing, yet again

And again..
And again..
And again..
And again..
And again..
And again..
And again..
And again..
And again..
And again..

Under an un-controlled situation, the iteration will not converge. Thus the loop will repeat until Ibu faints..


Hello! I am a HAIRY SCARY BEAR (insert big scary voice). Listen to me GROWL. GRRRRRRR

Sya's First Hair Cut

Batrisyia was born with full crop of hair, unlike her brother who was super bald. Sya had this spiky hair in her first few months. She was called Don King because of that.

I've always thought that she would have straight hair. When she was one, I could see her curls coming. People are always commenting about her curls, which I must say is quite nice. In fact, I had to perm mine to get those curls..and it cost a bomb and nowhere near pretty like hers.

Sya never had a haircut since like forever. Somehow I like her baby curls, so I let it grow.



But off late, it has been getting a bit too long and slightly unmanageable. So I think, it is good time for a change.

We have been putting off the idea of cutting it, when I say we, I really mean my lover. He was the one who is incredibly worried about Sya's hair. He was telling me, make sure the hair is still nice. Make sure it is not too short. Make sure she still look like a girl. Do you think he is hinting my short hair? Do you?

Anyway, after four years of beautiful curls. Snip! Snip! Off the curls went.

So, everyone, please welcome the new Sya.






She started off smiling but was sulking afterwards. Now she is okay with her new hair.

But it's not Sya that I am worried about.

Her dad has also given his ok with the new hair.

Phew! Overlah pakcik tu.

Balik Kampung

Sekejap lagi kang saya satu keluarga nak balik kampung dah. Mula-mula kita balik Muar, kampung saya. Lepas tu hari selasa atau pagi Rabu kita balik Melaka, kampung lover saya. Malam raya dan sembahyang raya semuanya di Melaka. Every year.

Sepanjang kahwin, saya tak pernah raya kat Muar on first raya. Ini adalah kerana parents saya sendiri balik kampung. Nenek saya (my father' side) tinggal di Kluang. So what I do year after year is, after sembahyang raya, kita orang semuanya pergi Kluang jumpa my parents and my nenek tapi kita orang balik Melaka balik on the same day.

Psssttt, I thinkkan my mum kan dia boring jugak sebab still kena beraya kat kampung Kluang tu (dari sejak dia kahwin lagi). I think since dia dah ada cucu (yang semuanya dihasilkan oleh saya), dia teringin nak kita semua bermalam raya dan bersibuk-sibuk memasak dan seterusnya sembahyang raya dan bersibuk-sibuk di pagi raya dan ultimately mintak ampun dan maaf bersama-sama di pagi raya..di rumah dia.

I so know how she feels.

I so know how she wants to be the woman of the house..during raya time.

Pasal saya pernah duduk kat obersea dulu. Saya tau kesibukkannya masa malam raya tu. I prepared all the raya meal by myself, well except the pressed rice. Saya mintak budak jantan buatkan. Masa tu tak ada ketupat adabi tu. So bebudak jantan tu creatively buatlah nasi impit. Hempap dengan dumb bell, buku yang tak pernah bacalah dan macam-macam lagi benda yang berat.

I single handedly prepared the rendang, lodeh (orang Johor wajib ada lodeh) and kuah kacang. Sapa yang rajin nak tolong, I hand the task of potong memotong bawang, bawang puteh, lengkuas yang keras tu, serai, buang kulit kacang, halia dan the etc. job.

Dapur tu saya punya. Saya handle the amount of santan, the amount of cili, kerisik, the kerangupan kacang, amount of sampah sarap in the lodeh, garam, gula, kering rendang, amount of kuah kacang. Semuanya saya punya. Saya, Lollies, the control freak jadi project manager dapur. Etc. job aje saya kasi kat the volunteers.

Saya digress.

Point saya is, saya rasa, samalah dengan mak saya. Dia pun nak in control jugak. Dia nak gak pilih sendiri set pinggan mana yang nak dipakai raya ni rather than being asked to take the set of their choice. Yalah memang dia orang buat kerja sama-sama. Macam taulah sapa yang kena isi ketupat, tukang kacau rendang, tukang jaga api, tukang potong carrot, kobis, tukang rendam perut tahu, suun. Tapi mesti ada master mind dia.

Saya suka jadi mastermindnya.

Dan mak saya nak merasa salaman anak-anaknya dan celoteh cucunya pada pagi raya tu jugak, di rumah sendiri, bukannya pukul 2 tengahari.

Tapi tak apa..saya semua dan anak-anak still jumpa dia. Lambat pun lambatlah. Ada orang langsung tak dapat jumpa.

Err..saya pun ada kat rumah mertua saya.

Tapi orang Melaka tak buat lodehlah.

Selamat hari raya korang semua. Saya mintak maaf jika ada terkasar bahasa atau cara sepanjang korang membaca di sini atau yang saya komen kat tempat korang.

I Can't Cook

before that is....

I've never cooked throughout my teenage life. Don't blame it on me. Blame it on my mum. He he..she was never forceful enough to make me cook and I was so in love with the TV. I must, I must be whipped to the kitchen.

I couldn't cook before, even if my life depended on it. Well, that's an exaggeration, of course. I could boil water. Both using the electric kettle and the non-electric one. But I won't guarantee that there would be any water left in the latter, unless it's a whistle one.

I could..err..cook instant noodles. And mind you, I use pots, not just boil the noodles in a tupperware or a pail like some people. Excuse me, I may not be able to cook, but when I do..it must be done in style.

And and and I could (and still can) boil rice WITHOUT the electric rice cooker. See see..can you do that? Even now? And mind you, the rice would come out nice too.

And I could do any camping food..baked beans and anything from the can. Yes I could heat up food..not using the microwave. Hah!

And I could toast bread and spread peanut butter on it.

Anyway enough of my bragging. My not so skillful days in the kitchen was really tested when I went to UK as a student. I got a house along with four other strangers. We agreed to take turn to cook. Actually, I silently did not agree. I mean sure you can survive with bread, fish and chips, flapjack, cheese and onion pie right? But cook I had to.

So in a real state of panic, I looked for some really easy recipe for me to start with. A nice kind senior who I was sure wouldn't tell anyone of my handicap, gave me the recipe for chicken rice. Hmmm looks easy enough.

So there I was, in one of the cold winter days trying to cook.

Made the soup. I cautiously put in salt and sugar so that I won't overdo it. The chicken soup is the mother of any chicken rice. You got it right on the soup, you are actually half way there.

Then I boiled the rice. Carefuly measuring the soup to be put into the rice. Hopefully it doesn't turn into porridge instead or worst, burnt!

Then acording to the recipe, it's nice if I can take out the chicken from the soup, marinade it in soy sauce, oyster sause, tomato sauce and later fried.

That's easy. Frying is easy. I can do frying. So I fried the chicken.

Then chop chop the garnishing for decoration purposes. At least even it taste awful, it would look good. Remember, in style?

But but but..I must have turned the gas too strong. My chicken was burnt! Black black chicken!

Die! Die!

I don't mind going hungry but there are four others who must be dead hungry by now. I did take nearly two hours doing this chicken rice thing. Yes that long..

Think Lollies, think! Cover up! Cover up!

So I sliced up the burnt part. Slice! Slice! Get rid of the evidence. Somehow out of habit, I popped some of the slices in my mouth. Hey! Wait a minute! This doesn't taste burnt! Not at all. In fact I must say, it tasted. ehemmm, quite good.

Then logic hit me, if you fried up chicken marinated with soy sauce and oyster sauce, which apparently are black in colour, the product wouldt turn up....err black?



Drool and salivate over my excellent culinary products now.

Haziq the Game Maker

Haziq likes to invent games out of the new things he just learned. He will make up games until he found new things that he can make a game out of it.

When he was one and a half year old, while on the way to te nursery along the Old Klang Road, I named him all the petrol pump station. If you have been on the Old Klang Road, you'd know just how many petrol pump stations there are. Sebaling batulah kata orang melayu. He can name all the stations and make a game out of it whenever we found a petrol station.

Then come the colour game, type of car game, guess-what-that-letter is game and read out that car's plate number.

The game became even more excessive when he start schooling. When he found the magic of adding numbers, he played that game and made us ask him various kind of number additions. It started of with singular number like 2+3, then he proceeded to bigger numbers and even up to millions. I remembered having write out sums like this

1,289,786
+3,764,800

Then he started on on multiplication. When we look bored answering him, he started quizzing my helper for simple timetable. He has already gotten the concept for the table 10. Heh heh I gave him the easiest to boost his confidence.

The last 2nd term exam, his Malay Language exam asked him a riddle - Buah apakah bijinya diluar?. Of course he didn't know that.

So I bought him books of Malay idioms, parables and riddle. He was terribly excited with idioms. There were long list of idioms in the book and he used it whenever he can when constructing his sentence. He asked me, "Ibu am I an anak emas?" gleefully.

Some of my friends had to endure his rambling about malay idioms. Pity them.

Then he found the fun in malay riddles (teka-teki). He made me ask as YM friend on one of our chatting sessions. Then he riddled everyone and learn new riddles in the proces. He is never bothered of who his audience is or the fact that they are too lazy to play the riddle game.

Funny thing you know, when it comes to riddles with adult, this one will always pop out

Selak kain nampak bulu
Selak Bulu nampak biji
Selak biji nampak Batang
Apa dia?

AYOOOO

The other thing that he like is the 3D shape game. How many edges are in a cuboid? How many corners are there in a pramid? How many flat surfaces are in a cube?

I don't know for how long will he be inventing games and questions like this. But I must say, tired that I am having to answer endless question, I do enjoy the games.

I can pretend that I don't know the answer, and he will tell me. Gloating all the way about it.

Telur Burung Puyuh

AKu ada cerita pasal pasar malam dulu. Ni kira additional information lah pasar benda-benda yang aku jumpa kat pasar malam dekat rumah aku ni.



harga semasa telur burung puyuh di pasar malam di kawasan rumah saya, ialah RM2.00 untuk 25 biji. Bagi RM10.00 telur, jika kita menggunakan kadar terus ialah 125 biji.

Saya suka makan telur puyuh kerana ianya kecil. Bite size orang puteh kata. Rasanya macam telur ayam jugak, tapi sekali masuk, ngap habis sebiji. Anak-anak saya pun suka makan telur puyuh.

Haziq yang pada mulanya geli melihat the spots on the eggs, refuse to eat it. Then saya kupas kulit telur tersebut (tanpa pengetahuannya) dan beri dia makan..dia kata dia suka. Lepas tu baru saya cakap irulah telur puyuh. Nasib baik dia OK about it.

Kalau saya order Yong Tau Foo pun saya akan ambik telur puyuh. Saya juga suka telur puyuh dalam Lai Chee Kang (Maaf saya tak tau ejaan kedua-dua makanan ini, mungkin Ah Beng boleh tolong.

Semalam saya masak nasi lemak. Saya rebus telur ayam biasa untuk the adults dan telur puyuh untuk bebudak. Dah saya ambik gambar telur tu kat pasar malam, kenalah jugak saya beli. tapi Tak apalah harganya RM2.00 sahaja. Lainlah kalau harganya RM10.00 untuk sedozen.

Saya juga teringat semasa saya kecil di Muar. kalau duduk-duduk makam mee bandung ke satay for breakfast kat Muar tu, mesti ada orang datang jual telur burung puyuh. kekadang mak saya beli. Saya tak tau harganya..tapi kalau mak saya beli tu, murahlah tu.

Lepas tu, aku teringat Kisah Nabi Musa a.s.. Ada cerita pasal quail. Tapi dalam translation bahasa Melayu is salwa (burung sebangsa puyuh). Kalau rajin bacalah kat bawah ni.

Dalam perjalanan menuju Thur Sina setelah melintasi lautan di bahagian utara dari Laut Merah dan setelah mereka (Bani Israel yang keluar dari Mesir di pimpin oleh Nabi Musa a.s. dan Nabi Harun a.s. ) merasa aman dari kejaran Fir'aun dan kaumnya. Mereka terserempa dengan sekelompok orang-orang yang sedang menyembah berhala dengan tekunnya.

We took the Children of Israel (with safety) across the sea. they came upon a people devoted entirely to some idols they had. They said :O Moses! Fashion for us A god like unto the gods they have. He said:Surely ye are a people Without knowledge.

As to these folk-The cult they are in is (but) a fragment of a ruin, and vain is the worship) which they practise.

He said: "Shall I seek for you A god other than the (true) God, when it is Allah who hath endowed you with gifts above the nations?

And remember We rescued you from Pharoah's people, who afflicted you with the worst of penalties, who slew your male children and saved alive your females: In that was a momentous trial from your Lord."7:138-141 Surah Al A'Raf

Then the group moved on heading to Mt. Sinai. It was a hot, scorching journey. There were no trees nor shades. So orang-orang Bani Israell yang keletihan, kepanasan, kelaparan mendesak Nabi Musa a.s. supaya memohon kepda Allah shelter and food.

We divided them into twelve tribes or Nations. we directed Moses by inspiration, when his (thirsty) people asked Him for water: "Strike the rock with thy staff" : out of it there gushed forth twelve springs: Each group knew its own place for water. We gave them the shade of clouds, and sent down to them manna and quails, (saying) "Eat of the good things We have provided for you" " (buth they rebelled) : to Us. They did no harm, but they harmed their own souls. 7:160 - Surah Al A'Raf

But still they are not happy. Sangat manja mereka tu. Insatiable lot they are. And they asked Moses to give them more because they are bored with one type of food.

And remember ye said:"O moses! We cannot endure one kind of food (always); so beseech thy Lord foe us to produce for us what the earth groweth-its pot-herbs, and cucumbers, its garlic, lentils, and onions" He said:"Will you exchange the better for the worst? Go ye down to any town, and ye shall find what ye want!" 2:61 - Al Baqarah

There was also the mentioning of quails like in the verse 7:160 in Al Baqarah 2:57

And we gave you the shade of clouds and sent down to you manna and quails, saying: "Eat of the good things We have provided for you" " (buth they rebelled) : to Us. They did no harm, but they harmed their own souls. 2:57 - Surah Al Baqarah .

So itulah cerita saya hari ni yang ada kena mengena dengan burung puyuh or salwa or quails as mentioned in the Quran.

The Soul of Malaya

I am reading this book now - The Soul of Malaya by Henri Fauconnier.

I have not finished reading it yet, for I am a slow reader. It took momentum for me to read and due to my excessive mass, my inertia is also slow. So I decided to put up a short review of series of excerpts to share with you.

Basically this book is about a french guy who came to Malaysia in the year 1901 as a planter. He started as a manager in a rubber plantation in Bukit Sampah. I am not sure where Bukit Sampah is.

The book has illustrations of photos and sketches. This is just fascinating, looking at sketches of our country where the forest was still dense.

It is about a french man's love-hate relationship with a British friend, and him learning about life in Malaya. French were not popular here in Malaya. They colonised Indo-China instead during those days.

This is a novel with accounts of social commentaries of what Malaya was like in the early 20th century, at least in the author's view.

Anyway, I just like to share this particular excerpt with you for now

"Stark had engaged a tall bearded Bengali who represented public authority and marched about the plantation like an Eastern King. I discovered that the principal task of this superb specimen was to see to it that the coolies disposed their excrements elsewhere than in the middle of the road. The Tamil does not like exposing his skin in sheltered places where demons and mosquitoes lurk. He prefers the open. All day long the Bengali concentrated his eyes and his mind in the search for exhibits, for each of which he received a reward of ten cents when he was able to denounce the perpetrator. So he was constantly on the look out for his exhibits and also for the Estate Manager whom he delighted to honour with a grand military salute.

One morning, a break of dawn, I saw him squatting, in the middle of the road, after which he dissapeared. A coolie passed. The Bengali leapt upon him. Accusations, protests, and an uproar.....

The Eastern King was later dismissed."

My conclusion : Not all work should be rewarded with commissions.

What's yours?

Yay to Haziq!

Haziq did quite well for his first year in school, I must say. Today is his school's award-giving day. He bagged six awards out of eight..so I can't help to feel a little bit gloaty today.

Haziq was more than exhilarated. He kept on chattering about today's award day all throughout the weekend. So I took the opportunity to tell him a thing or two about not to boast and brag, that he can do it within the walls of the house but not to other people. Confidence can also be mistaken as arrogance and he might irk someone by mistake.

I am such an anti climax mother huh? And here I am putting it on the blog for the whole internet world to see.

OK OK he is only in Primary One..no big deal and it doesn't make him extra genius or anything. It's just it's good to boost his motivation and hopefully, you know, he will stay ahead. And yes I like him excelling in academics, but there are other values that I like him to have too. I hope I can nurture him well.

So imagine this.. he got six throphies! Goodness! Six little plastic throphies.

The other day he wanted a brand new Faber Castell pencil colours and I told him, I'm sure you will get them for this award day. I remembered getting those stuff plus pencils, books, pecil box and what nots. And now we have these plastic throphies perching there on a proud boy's table, soon to be collecting dust. However, I understand that the throphies are actually cheaper than buying stationeries.

Now, I thought of giving him something. The main reason why I feel like giving him something is because he didn't ask for any. I never make a habit of exchanging gifts to performing duties. I give when I feel like doing so. I think he knows this trick too, since he never ask for anything unless jokingly.

But I don't know what to give. I give books all the time. What do you think of the Art Attack stuff eh? Nice? Probably will keep him busy this school holidays too?

And to top it, Haziq has not skipped fasting. This is the first time him fasting and he has not skipped any. I am truly surprised, more so because I haven't done much to encourage him in the first place. Either I actually have a good son or I am actually an intimidating mother. Despite I am not encouraging, I am actually threatening!! Muahahaha.

Alhamdullilah.

Pantai Puteri, Melaka.

Last weekend aku balik kampung mertua kat Melaka. Ritual biasa balik kampung is aku akan borong ikan, udang and stuff kat tepi pantai Puteri. Dulu pantai ni dia orang panggil Pantai Kundur. I don't know why they change the name.

So dah pi beli ikan, angkutlah bebudak sekali dengan anak saudara aku semua main-main tepi pantai tu. Kat sini tak boleh mandi pun. Air dia tak bersih sangat. Main-main tepi pantai ajele. Lari-lari macam cerita hindustan. Cuba tengok Batrisyia kat gambar Row 1, Column 5 (1,5). Pastu boleh lari celah-celah pokok ru (3,4).

Kat sini gak ada fishering activities. The second row picture gambar-gambar aktiviti nelayan. Gambar bulat tu (2,3) itu gambar net dia and the next picture is gambar jala yang dah dibungkus. The two guys tengah kemaskan jala dia orang (2,5) and they were talking. There were other fishermen there who were looking at me. I think being the only female there with a camera must look err strange..no I don't think so? Appetizing? Err I hope not.

Kat pantai puteri ni jugak, masa bulan Ramadhan ada Bazaar Ramadhan. The picture was taken on Sunday where coincidentally ada pasar malam. (3,1) so sesak sikitlah.

If you drive down South sikit dari pantai tu, ada tempat tu panggil Tg. Kling. Kat situ ada Power Station which does not belong to TNB anymore It can generate about 300MW of power. The Combined Cycle 3x110MW power station serves power to the main city of Melaka and the Northern part of Johore.

Anyway I thought teluk kecil yang ada power station tu quite nice (3,2). Can you see the power station's chimney? Kat situ jugak ada jeti kecil. When we were there, they were moving some vessels onto a barge. (3,3). Those vessels are manufactured in Malacca and will be exported to Qatar. Aku cakap kat lover aku, hah sangkut ajele kat vessel ni, terus sampai Qatar. The barge will be towed to Port Klang and then the vessels will be shipped to Qatar.

From Pantai Puteri tu you can see an impressive long protruding jetty (3,5). That one is for the PETRONAS's refinery. My lover help build part of the jetty. He was in charge of this thing called intake basin and something else on the jetty itself. Whateverlah...

Then aku bawak Jack2 jalan-jalan kat pantai tu. Those are our shadows. The one with the big butt is the photographer. Jack2 stopped at every little thing that interest him. That's the thing about little kids. Everything is learning. We found a dead fish on the beach. Then there was also belangkas. I don't know what he learn from this walk. I just know it was a hot day and I am burnt.

Anyway lepak-lepak tengok bebudak main pasir, I looked up and saw the tree branch looking like a heart shape. I turned to my lover and pointed out to him. He didn't see a thing. I took photo and pointed it to him. Ni kira macam mistletoe lah ni kan, since we don't have Olive twigs let alone the tree.

Eh! Puasa boleh romen ringan-ringan kan siang?

Advise on Zakat

Can someone advise me on whether my helper (from Indonesia) needs to pay her Zakat Fitrah or not? Or anything related to the matter. Anything..Thank you.

Don't Want! Lemme go! Lemme Go!

I don't think I want to do that again Ayah. I wanna go back and play with the sand.

Oh no you are not. You are coming with me.

This is so not fair! I am the youngest..I know. I am the smallest..I know. You ain't going to make me do what I don't want to do. Noooo! Lemme go! Lemme go! help help! Someone help!

Stop snapping pictures woman! Take him!

Huwaaaa! I told you I ain't washing the car again! I'm too shortttt!

Haziq's Exam Preparation

I think this is the exam week for nearly all primary school goers except for the Standard sixers since they just finished their UPSR. Most Hot Gucci Mamas I know are busy making sure that their children are coping with the exams well.

Me too! Me too! I was looking at Haziq's exercise books, activity books, workbook and textbooks while intermittently surfing the blog, reading to Sya, babbling to Jack2, shouting at them, reading, watch TV, quilting and jahit tulang belut. I am a multi tasker. Then I set some questions to test how far he understand. Sometimes I make him write because I want to see his methods for maths, his jawi or for the fact that I don't want him to disturb me.

During the Maths session with me, which he faired OK, in my standard. My standard not so high la. Dapat 98% pun kira oklah tu. He he. But there is one question which he couldn't answer. Hmmppphhh. Maybe you can help him.


There are eleven apples in the box. Lolita took seven oranges out of it. How many oranges are left?

Should I punish him for not being able to answer?

Four Firsts

Today, as we all know is our first day of ramadhan. I am fasting today. Not the time for "bendera Jepun" just yet. Last year aku puasa penuh, sebab aku mengandungkan Zachary. Masa itu awal-awal aku ngandung, so banyak angin dalam badan. Buka puasa aje muntah balik. Sahur aje muntah balik. The horrors. Aku cengkung tak kasi can. Tapi aku malas tak nak puasa. Sebab pertama aku tak larat nak ganti. Berpuasa waktu bulan tak puasa begitu banyak dugaannya. Secondly aku tak sure about the fidyah thingy, aku tak puasa because I am worried about me or the baby. Personally I think the baby will be fine, but I don't want to get into the situation yang syak wasangka tu. So I fast.

Genrally I am the type yang malas nak bangun sahur. I woke up, only for a glass of plain water and kurma then kebabo aku tidur balik. If I want to eat pun, I would eat late at night or very early in the morning. But this year would be different. My eldest, Haziq, wants to try fasting this year. And I said ok, it's a good age to try fasting. Even though I remembered I only fast when I was 9. Haziq is 7. But kids nowadays are advanced by at least for a few years. If for a good cause, why not? This is Haziq's first day of fasting in his entire life.

Batrisyia only ask, kita kena pakai baju apa masa puasa? Boleh pakai baju cantik tak?

So I woke up at 4:30 and fried some ikan bawal. That is also my first in my entire life. Cook for sahur. Sayur daun-daun aje. Potong bawang sikit and the red chillies campuran dalam kicap, letak air sikit dalam kicap tu bubuh gula sikit aje just to compensate the salty taste. So makan ikan cicah kicap pedas. Gigit-gigit cili dengan bawang tu yang sedap tu. Dan makanlah sahur simple aje.

Haziq woke up, sleepy eyes and all. He ate little. I insisted he drink the hot milo and ate kurma. He hates the korma. But I made him ate.

Then I sliced up some mangoes. So itu ajelah sahur.

Today the 5th October also marks my first year of blogging. I think it has been, for me, a self satisfying adventure. Ala-ala syok sendiri gitu. My first intention was to record things I go through in my mundane life. So later on, in life, in case I have gone senile, I can read back and who knows I may remember myself again or laugh at this Lollies.

And I am glad for all these for I have made friends with many. I don't even have to go anywhere, I can sit on my big fat ass and still make friends. Some of you guys have helped me a lot in so many ways that you probably do not even realise. It's amazing to find friends this way. Thank you to YM too.

There are some that I have met, live, up close and personal and some remain friends in the comment and haloscan box. And all have driven up the curiosity and the funny bone in me.

Because of blogging I also know the term LOL and the smiley faces :-)..even though I still do not know what this symbol means =). Where are the eyes?

So today, the 5th October has a lot of firsts.

Saya ucapkan Selamat Berpuasa kepeda mereka yang diwajibkan berpuasa dengan ucapan buat apa tu? Korek hidung ke?

Lollies the Sadist

Ohhh don't I love procrastination. Wait a minute! I have not been proscrastinating..I was just taking a slower pace trying to finish up the report because I have to be detail. Yes! So that mistakes are not made.

But this week, have been crazier than usual. I went home late nearly everyday. Sleeping hours are crazy. Waking up, typing, running after Jack2. Full awake discussing the next day. And I am working throughout the bloody weekend. (I am in the office now alone, pretending I am working).

Yesterday we had to finalise the presentation. All of us stayed back. And suddenly, suddenly..I felt that hey..I like this man. I like this adrenalin pumping rush. I like argument and blame storming in the meeting room. I like laughing at my colleagues and in return being laughed at.

I like thinking of words to fool impress the audience. Words like "system is relatively weak in P state" or "system is comparatively strong in S state", but in essence we are trying to say the same thing. This is all about being tactful.

I like listing all the numbers with units at the back. Units that some people, among the audience, who may not know but refrain asking because it would make them look stupid. Muahahaha.

I love using the G word gor Giga and giving costs in billions. I love quoting important government meetings. The JPPPET meeting conducted by the Ministry himself will always keep the audience quiet.

I love tabling out the confusing, all numbers and data of the simulation result. You can't convince them, confuse them.

And I think, honestly, deep down inside, most of the employees in the corporate world and even masochist while gulping her frappe actually enjoy this last minute rush. Going through the power points, doing the hyperlink thing, putting one or even two big words with big jargons..

Come on people, admit it, you like it don't you? You swear that you are stressed out. You swear that your eyeballs are coming out and that you have bags under your eyes. You snap to your colleagues. You get snapped yourself. You hate your boss.

But deep down, you really like it. You sadist you.

I love this adrenalin rush.

Because deep down I love pain. Yes baby whip me!

Test your senses in Monochrome

Rekindling an old post.


Can you feel the churn in her tummy as the swing gets higher?


Can you feel the breeze on your face, ruffling you hair?


Can you smell the prawns?


Itching already?

The Art of Apologising

When you know that you have angered someone, a genuine anger, the best thing you should do is apologise. Apologise must be done sometime after the heat of the moment. Not too soon, as the heat may blind the angered. But not too late either, that the anger have eventually turned to bitter hatred.

Please please don't delay dally for it will only make things akward. Regardless you think she is going to eat you up. (I'm using she here just to make reference easier. Nothng to related to anyone dead or alive or undead). Even if she does, finally both of you know where the situation stands. And may both of you rest in peace.

Try oh please try, to start the whole apologising thing first. For obvious reason of course.

And when you apologise, do do mean what you say. Win her heart. Plead sorry. Not beg, just plead. Be sincere. Look her in the eye. Regardless you think you are right. You need to calm her first. Utmost important. For her scorn is worst than hellfire.

Do not! And I repeat do not intermission it with your justification, your state of condition, your other friends, your atok, your nenek, the pokok and all that. It's not about you! It's about her heart. All these intermission are signals that you are trying to avoid the issue altogether.

Do not! In the process, make her feel like she is in the dock.

You are in the dock at the moment.

Calm her.
Make her believe that you are sincerely sorry.
Wholeheartedly.

For she can tell.

When she is calm, then only..again depending on the situation can you

slowly

softly

explain your situation.

stop

when she start debating too much

listen to her (after all you are the one at wrong)

when she is ready to listen, explain yourself.

You'll never know, she might end up feeling shit of the whole situation and in fact seek for your forgiveness instead.

However, I feel there is something missing in this whole thing.

Your rambling of yourself, your story of your small car, your story of your car made into sardine. your story that you are not ditching me, of you feeling hurt of me being angry at you because you lied to me in the first place.

What is the missing factor?

Could it be the lack of sincerity?

Why am I still sad?

I think brader, I penatlah jadi yang forgiving ni. I ingat I nak jadi bitch balik. At least I don't become a softee.

DEADLINE

Oh Jacko Buddy
My cutey number three
Ibu is panicky
Ibu has report
To finish up
So please don’t retort

Do do sleep tight
All through the night
Do not get up
No to eyes wide

I am in a panic mode these days. I have this mega project that is in the process of report writing. The dateline is end of this week. On Monday the 3rd October, there will be an semi mega presentation of the whole project.

And I am still typing the reports away frantically.

I have this premonition that I won't be able to finish it and have it bind this coming Friday.

I have this premonition that my head hangs on to thin slicey thread.

So I brought work back home. Determine! Determine to type it off the whole night and some part of the morning.

But my boy just doesn't pity me. None at all.

Zachary demands to sleep at 9, but only go to full sleep at 10. In the dark and the cool room, he finally sleep suckling along with his mama.

Yes, people I slept too. *hangs head in shame*

My lover chuckles.
he he he,
so much saying that you are busy.
But you are busy sleeping,
I can see.

Sarcasm is not in mister.
I have boobs
And everyone wants a piece of it!
So stop your bloop
For I don't appreciate it

Woke up!
Ah! Report!
Must do it!
Must do it now!

Only to be stopped by Jack2 wailing.
It doesn't help that
his nose is stuffy,
making him groggy
and all he wants is
to suckle and
a lot of huggy

He is asleep now
Time to get up
type type type
clickety click
Sometimes checking out the blog.
Momentum gathers
Mind is not clog
I am excited
Ideas rush in

then

HUWAAAAA
Jack Jack!

Is it milk that he wants
Or the stuffy nose that he has
Or just my warmth that he thrive

But I can't sleep the whole morning.
I have twink twink
My head is going zing zing
But the report?
Agghhh don't ask..

Conclusion
dateline + stuffy nose baby = deadline

If I stop blogging after 3rd October, you know what happen.

On another note
In the meantime, I will continue blogging during my report break. For there is such a thing. A report break I mean

Muzium Angkatan Tentera Darat, Port Dickson

I went to Muzium Angkatan Tentera Darat Port Dickson last UPSR holiday.

Tempatnya, pastilah di Port Dickson. Kat tepi jalan aje dekat-dekat dengan army camp. You will see a big army plane by the side of the road. It is free for all. It is closed on Monday and Friday. I went on Monday mula-mula only to find it closed. Haziq was devastated because he was all excited about going to the museum. And I thought it will do him good. After all this is another activity in Port Dickson rather than the pool, sand and beach.

We went at about 12:00 noon. The sun was scorching. Man, was I tanner than usual. We walked around the rows of cannons, tanks, locomotive and vehicles used during war.

And of course the children would love to fiddle everything. They went up the cannon, helicopter and some armoured vehicle. I am sorry I don't know the technical name for them.

Jalan punya jalan around the complex, and I thought ini aje ke kat muzium ni, automotif aje. Sampailah pusing satu building colonial army camp tu. Adusss berpeluh-peluh jadinya.

Orang tak ramai, my family including my parents and adalah tiga orang budak sekolah. So we were priviliged to be entertained by one of the museum staff who is also a mat tiarap (askar). Which made the visit more fruitful. We heard a lot of unsolicited insider stories.








Amazingly that is not all in this museum. I saw the thing watchamacallit? The metal ventilation thing yang pusing-pusing orang selalu letak kat roof untuk buang heat tu. I saw it kat atas jalan. So I asked ada apa kat bawah, hoping that ada bunker peluru or something. Then he said ada replika tunnel Parti Komunis Malaya. The one in Betong Thailand.

So we dengan excitednya pergilah tunnel tu. The actual entrance kat tunnel tu tak adalah sekemas yang ada kat museum ni sebab yang tu orang gali, yang ni, eh orang jugaklah gali, tapi pakai machine.



The tunnel in the museum is 142m long. (I think the original is 1km long). A trip through this tunnel would leave a lasting impression on the visitors on the tribulation and hardship of the army personnel in countering the CPM (Communist Part of Malaya) threat. Yang bestnya ada lover aku sekali sebab my lover is so into insurgencies history and kemerdekaan stuff. So he was excited looking at the actual food dump container there. Whereas aku tengok sanitary pads yang dia orang buat dengan belt and cotton. OMG! Haziq pulak excited tengok surgery room tu. Maybe the fact that ada bloodied manequin there. Jack2 was just happy to practice his walk.

But going through the tunnel brings shudder to one and you would appreciate peace because war is difficult and survival is thin.

Genuine artefacts, graphic panels, diorama, information kiosk and LCD panel shows are placed along the tunnel.

Seriously aku tak sangka puak canggih jugak museum ni. The LCD panels are nicely done, quite tasteful and very IT gitu. Pakai touch button style. Language is both Malay and English.

Pastu ada lagi stuff in the building. History of independance, zaman kesultanan Melaka, colonial time, cerita askar melayu, zaman Jepun dan duit pisangnya, angkatan tentera, communist party. Not necessarily in that order.

Outside they put up the jambatan bergantung thing. Ooohh I love his wobbly jambatan bergantung. I thought of scaring the kids by shaking it while they walk. But instead it's my helper who shrieked out for help. Then the kids joined shaking the bridge to my helper's dismay.

Verdict of the place : Seriously an interesting museum. It brings out the patriotism in me and keinsafan. Very informative. Well displayed. I hope it will be maintained well.

I also would like to propose, how lah eh, can anyone suggest who I should write to. I should have asked them the other day. I proposed that they make a bigger promotion on this museum. Partcularly during the month of Merdeka. Promote aggressively to Kementerian Pendidikan, schools, colleges, universities and the public in general. Maybe een the penagih dadah yang dah nak tamat graduan. Biar dia tau orang merdeka bukan nak suruh dia hisap dadah. I don't think ramai yang tau or even interested nak tau. Marketlah sikit.

And also I hope they have an information board masa nak masuk tu, so I know and can plan which one to visit first. Confusing sikit.

Sayang kalau the effort is not recognised. Sesungguhnya ianya boleh membangkitkan semangat.

Saya juga ingin mengambil kesempatan di sini, untuk meminta kita semua memberi sedekah Al-Fatehah or say a prayer for our past heroes who have sacrificed their life in the name of our country and in the name of God. May Allah bless them.

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edited to add

Muzium in telah dirasmikan oleh DYMM SPB Yang di-Pertuan Agong Tuanku Syed Sirajuddin Ibni Al-Marhum Tuanku Syed Putra Jamalullail. In the actual lingo is beliau telah berkenan mencemar duli telah merasmikan Muzium Tentera Darat bertempat di Pusat Latihan Asas Tentera Darat (PUSASDA), Port Dickson, Negeri Sembilan pada hari Selasa 28 Jun 2005 jam 9.00 pagi.