Friday, August 05, 2005

This Whole Thing About Qatar

Now I am sort of ready to tell about this whole Qatar business. So buckle up.

Now you know that my dear lover was offered a job at Qatar an he is ready to accept this. I am happy for him.

The day that he went for the interview and when he came back, I can sort of tell that the interview went well and he will probably be accepted. Starting from that day I was already feeling sad and I even cried when we had lunch after the interview.

Suddenly flashes of my current life appears before me. Myself, my independence, my children, my parents, my friends, my career. Suffice to say I felt sad despite I am happy for him. This is probably unfair to him, but as a normal woman, I can be driven into moments. And that very moment, only emotions are my driver.

When he was finally accepted. I cried even more. I don’t think I can have a decent conversation with him regarding this without either crying and arguing which may not necessarily be in that order either.

Why am I sad? Sometimes I wonder. First of all, perhaps Qatar is not a country that I would be happily jumping to live in. Despite I am from a Muslim country, but Arab culture is different from Malaysia and I am worried of the woman’s life there. I have my independence and my freedom here. I can basically move anywhere I want. But over there, well some may be myths…but at a glance, jeez, I might not like it.

Secondly, I would be an ex-pat’s wife. Is it too much if I said I would be reduced only as an ex-pat’s wife. Seriously not a title that I covet. Not earning on my own. Leaving a great job for that? Okay there is nothing about being a housewife. But 24/7..I am not even sure I can cope with it. I know many woman are doing it, my mum did it well. Suffice to say, it’s something that I have to get use to.

I made him promise, he must get me an internet connection, preferbally a DSL and a desktop PC. He said of course. And a NIKON SLR, and a big stud diamond ring. A matching earing and a necklace to match as well. He said he will. Then I think he just said it to make me say yes. Hmmmm….

I didn’t tell many people. Only the closest one. Even when I put up the Name the country, I still couldn’t even tell many people. Because I wanted to think on my own. I need time to be rationale and get my senses together. But I guess some can sense it even though not everyone can sense my anguish and sadness. Regardless, I appreciate everyone’s kind words and concern. That was a big moral support.

It saddens me also when some people think, this going away is so much driven by the financial package it provides, such that we are willing to be apart from the family. Nevertheless, I understand that whatever said was in the best intentions. Indeed money is not everything in life.

My lover has been off work for more than a year. He has been doing some freelance thing, which is okay, but money is not rolling much. We have no capital and debts are mounting. And perhaps we are not entrepreneur enough yet. With the combination of the above, and also the fact that he is not getting any job at all in Malaysia, Qatar is like an answer to our prayers.

But those time he has been off work has been a good experience for him. He found other talents within him which is surprisingly good and gave him confidence. Guess, we may not be rich in monies but we are rich in experience. And we haope that we can use all these experience when we come back home later.

As for me, I am currently opening up and feeling more positive of this whole thing. Still I hope all the bureaucracies and what nots will buy me more time here. He he..hooray to red tapes. Hooray to inefficiencies.

I have talked to everyone concern. My boss no.2, my boss no.1 and my Madam Kahuna. All are very supportive and in principal support the non-paid leave that I will be applying. Now I need to write to the Dato’ Chief Kahuna. Because of my current posting I am in, the one to approve is this Dato’ Chief Kahuna.

My Boss No. 2 is the best. He said to me, finally, family is all that matter. Go with an open mind, for then only I will be able to see great thing. Then only great things will come. I felt good after that. Good words can really change you.

Well, my lover has send all the necessary documents, our passports, medical check ups and all the papers. The thing is that, yesterday, after three weeks, they wanted my lover to do another heart test. The ECHO test.

Funnily, despite I didn’t want to go in the first place..I am suddenly feeling a bit nervous with all these shenanigans.

So the answer to when I am going, I can’t tell yet. Most likely is this year. But do not worry, I will tell.

Oh and the other thing is I love you all too. You gave me so much moral support which I need. Thanks for the private calls, emails, YMs, ISMs and sms. You all made my day.


munirah hayati said...

oh, u'r leaving the country? bestnya!! as the saying goes, jauh perjalanan, luas pengalaman :))

good luck!

superunknown said...

me said plenty already. now me only wanna give full sapot to mummy lollies.

lion3ss said...

First Elisa, now you? *pouts*

Lollies dear, I knew earlier when you first hinted on this whole Qatar business that you'll make the right decision no matter which one. I'm sure you'll be just fine there and we'll be hearing more adventures of you there.

an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

'go west, young man .. and make your fortune'

everything will be okay. you won't be alone.

best o' luck, doll

Anonymous said...

think positive..

you can sms me and email me anytime.

shidah said...

Lollies: You'll be very much surprise to see the women in Qatar. Memang ada full hijab but tak kurang juga yang not covering up. When I went there, we r like average, the way we dress is no alien to them. Women do go out, shopping etc. In fact from the advertisement board along the road, lebih kurang macam kat msia je. Neway, The best of luck!

Anonymous said...

get an ipod.

Sunfloraa said...


Ipod 40Gb sini RM1490. Shuffle RM425 :)

Lollies, good for you. BTW your reaction is perfectly normal and to be honest with you, some women even after years of being an expat wife, still is trying to come to terms with the title and the life-style. Over the years I have seen some marriages disintegrate as well (ni mcm blog entry ni) while some others grow stronger.

Remember the first few months is the hardest. Brace yourself and lower your expectations, good luck and take your time in coming to terms with this issue! We all did and still are ;)

Anonymous said...

yes nyonya la mer - semoga saya tidak lagi menjadi katak di dalam gelas. he he thank you

wan - terimakasih daun keladi my son. :-) Very much needed

lion3ss - I am stalking elisa. ha ha

babe - now all engineers in malaysia are moving middle east where the whites used to be

aie - kita perlu makan2 sebelum aku pergi

shidah - itulah dari research yang aku buat Qatar is not as bad as Saudi. So kuranglah sikit faktor kegundah-gelanaan aku ni

riza- :-) preferbally with variouscolous to match the shirt

Anonymous said...

as yr boss said go with an open mind, open heart, you might not grow career wise but experience wise it will be priceless.

Anonymous said...

sunflora- thank you for the support and the tips. nanti i hegeh2 kat shoulder you

tenah - he he..macam itulah kiranya

Leen AshBurn said...

Cik Lollies, may you have a grand time in Qatar, you'll hit some bumps along the way, tapi tidak mengapa, I'm sure you'll have fun jugak. *HUGS*

Anonymous said...

saya akan cuba fun kan nya sedaya yang boleh

Anonymous said...

all the best sis..

Anonymous said...

terimakasih cn :-)

Anonymous said...

lollies, i'm sure things in Qatar are not as bad as you think. Who knows, they are probably 10x better than here.I'm glad that you think that this is the answer to your prayer. Syukur Alhamdulillah. Little that we know of Allah's knowledge. i pray for your happiness in Qatar.

Anonymous said...

oh Lopaktike, that is one perspective. Thank you. thank you very much

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