When Zachary Turns Four

Zachary is somewhat the same like when he was three except magnified those a thousand times. He chatters more (with familiar people). He is still a pleasant boy to be around with. A favourite among the uncles and aunties and also the teenagers.

One of the major milestones that Zachary has achieved before reaching four is that he has weaned off me. Now I am not sure whether it is his milestone or mine. I think it's more of the latter.

It was hard for me emotionally to wean him off. The thing is if I want and really put more thoughts and energy I can do it..but I don't really want to.

Zachary is my last child (if Allah wills) and I felt hard to let go the bonding of breastfeeding knowing that there won't be anymore for the rest of my life (unless Allah wills it otherwise). My lover prefers that we stop at three.

I have always wanted to breastfeed ever since I got pregnant with Haziq. With Haziq I had a hard time to lactate him. Especially when the hospital was not breastfeeding friendly (year 1998) and compounded with Haziq who had to be left at the hospital for several days for jaundice. Having been fed nothing but bottle (sometimes my milk whenever I come), it was hard to reintroduce to him the wonderful milk of mine. All these was made worst because I had a hard "berpantang". It was the most merimaskan time of my life. And Haziq just refuse to sleep. I didn't have support from my parents. To them let's make life easier and thus the bottle. It's a hard batttle to fight because the odds are all against me.

I persevered and finally I managed to fully breastfeed him a few weeks before my maternity leave is due. Oh I remembered the aches of retaining the milk throughout the working hours. I certainly remember the pumping session in the ladies' surau. *Smiles at Gart*.

Now comes that Haziq turns two, another fight need to be fought. I need to wean him.

The thing about me I like things in order. My order. I get stressed up when things do not abide to my unwritten rules. I wanted to conceive another one when the child turns two, but before that I want to make sure that I must wean the child first.

Weaning was hard on me emotionally. I cried when Haziq cried. I remembered putting nescafe on myself to make it look gross and sick. But he continued suckling it. I suppose nescafe and milk is a good combination.

I managed to wean him off eventually only to find him constipated with the bottle milk. There are always things to learn raising the kids.

With the two years experience of breastfeeding, feeding Sya was a breeze. I can hold her in one hand feeding and still cook. I was also emotionally ready to wean her off when she turned two.

As for Zachary he turned two when we are here in Qtar and I am not a career woman anymore. This made it hard to wean him as the hanging bottle is always in sight.

But the bigger issue was me. Surely if I had wanted to wean him, I can. Lacking of discipline and being emotional made me delay it.

But how did he wean finally? It must have triggered from school. Zachary was promoted to a bigger class and he was really proud that he is now a BIG boy. I slowly mentioned that big boy don't drink susu from Ibu anymore. This did have an effect on him. Initially he would deny and would claim that he is still small when it comes to susu time.


He was three

He only takes milk when we travel in the car or sleeping time. So I asked lover to put him to sleep. Zachary loved it. He enjoyed cuddling to his father too. The only problem was lover dozed off together with Jack. Ceh!

And suddenly he exclaimed to us that he doesn't take susu anymore because he IS a big boy. When he wakes up at night, I knew he wanted susu, but he would think first and just cuddle under my armpit. I confess sometimes I did offer him. You know for last time, but he was steadfast that boy.

Hu hu hu. But because I know this is for the best and he was already three plus by then, I let it be.

I still miss it though. He still cuddles alot but I miss the eye. The way he looks at me or look at nothingness when he milks. Having cuddle so close I can sniff his hair and stroke him to sleep.

Indeed breastfeeding my children is definitely one of the best achievements in my motherhood cycle. I am thankful to Allah who provides me with abundance of milk. Alhamdullillah. Allah is most generous.

Oh another thing. Zachary can still fits in his two year old jeans. The waist is fine, but the length is short. His small waits (and size) makes it difficult to find jeans for him. The length is good, the waits is small. I would go for those jeans with the adjustable belt on the waist.

Anyway, on his fourth birthday one of my friends invited us for breakfast at their place. Since this is one of my closest buddies, I asked her whether I can bring over a cake and do the birthday stuff. *tak malu menumpang rumah orang*.

I recommend cake Sultan from Bateel. Sedap gilos.


Bebudak berebut cake decoration of chocolates and chocolate filled biscutes

Relevant reads

Jack Turns three. Look how he does his tahyat
Jack turns two : An interview with a two year old
Jack turns one : Read how he comes out of me
Also read my "concern" of weaning him