Sunday, September 17, 2006

Word Sunday : Tame

jack


To tame is to establish ties. said the fox to the little prince in "Le Petit Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery".

To tame is to make oneself be needed and to feel the need for that someone. Said the fox again.

The time you wasted on that someone makes that someone important. And when you have tamed someone, you have the responsibility over it.

JackJack is now two years and three months and he is still breast feeding. I have tamed him too well and now I find it hard to untamed him against the comfort of my bossom. Each morning he wakes up, he insist on no other milk except mine. I gave him the bottle and he has now progresses to 2ml of chocolate milk, after which he will come running for more of natural milk.

It is harder now that I am not working. Unlike his sister and brother, where I can do it in phase for I am not at home at least half of the day. Or I can put strange stuff on it so they would finally refuse.

But with little cutie jack O' Buddy, I am finding it real hard to pull it off. He wants it all the time. In fact he is on my lap at this moment milking away.

Now we all know, when there is a will, there is way.

Perhaps it is me. I have tamed myself to be needed by him. I have tamed myself to enjoy him close to me. The need to give. I enjoy the moment with him when i can sniff his hair. Stroke his cheek and forehead. Play with his lobes. Mum his fingers. One of the times that he would surrender to me without any struggle.

Am I selfish? Knowing that he might be my last child. *Sigh*

The joy of breastfeeding is tremendous and to finally take it away, for good, is tough to my heart. I may sound like I am complaining sometimes. Look lover he looks like he won't quit you know, I mumble. But to tell you the truth, I do look forward to his ritual of asking for milk before he goes to sleep. Hijavascript:void(0)
Publish Posts uneasiness when he sees me at the computer. Our night cuddling.

I am the one who needs to untame myself. Untame myself from all the need to breastfeed him. In due time, I will.

There will come a time to let go.

17 comments:

sare_reyes said...

comelnya Jack2 :)

Jill Yusoff said...

Aaaah..the joy of motherhood. Now will someone tell me how to untame my heart?

dlt said...

hmm.... I know how u feel. I myself do enjoy breastfeeding. Simply love the moment. Everyday balik keje, she will nag me, follows me everywhere until dapat nenen. That's one of the very best moment in everyday's life, specially for breastfeed mommies. I'm one of the person who believes in breastfeeding. Hopefully leh macam jack2, sampai 2 tahun. Harapnya EBM cukup ler.
Cute nye jack2. :)

Lollies said...

sare - itu ikut mak dia. :D

jill - oh you wild wild heart. aku dah aku dah

dlt - kan? syiokkan? Insya Allah cukup EBM tu. jangan kena gi outstation sebulan dah

macho hensem n bersuara merdu said...

LOLS.. HAPPY 34th BIRTHDAY!!

heh heh

aie said...

lollies..

dah tua engkau babe..aku masih 33..ahaks!

*muah*muah* dari kami semua kat KL..

kitorang belanja ourselves kat Secret Recipe, no?

(aku boleh postkan jadam dari KL kalo kau nak? worst come to worst, kau buh je Vicks Vaporub :) tapi rasa hangin skit la..ihikiikiki)

~ahni~ said...

Hepi Besday Girl!

Anak2 aku eksen semuanya nak susu lembu tak nak susu ibu. BTW, aku ni dah bersalin 3-4 hari baru ada susu, so anak2 dah rasa susu tepung dulu. Bila aku hulurkan *tut* bagi dia orang hisap dia orang tak nak... puting getah tu lagi best kot....

Halley said...

The joy of motherhood. I wish will be able to enjoy it one day...

anggerik merah said...

Cute Jack jack

anggerik merah said...

Cute Jack jack

anggerik merah said...

Cute Jack jack

Lollies said...

mamat macho - wei kau telah mewar warkan umurku di blog ini. heh heh

aie - aku belum ready nak letak apa-apa. aku rasa nak nyusu je terus

ahni - actually masa 3 4 hari first tu memang tak ada susu sangat. yang ada colustrum. satu cecair bewarna kuning ernih. ianya mengandungi sumbe imunisasi yang paling tinggi. susu awal ibu itu. tiada gantinya. percayalah

halley - Ameen. :)

AM - reiterate ikut maknya jua. :D

Mama Rock said...

lollies, this entry reminds me of an episode of desperate housewives where one of susan's employee needs to breast feed her son at work and the boy is already 4!

Lollies said...

mama rock - ha ha ha sungguh haru itu

~ahni~ said...

lollies;
percaya lah nothing coming out from there, setitik ke separuh titik pun tak ada. Mak bidan tolong picit2 pun tarak jadi apa2 :-(

Lollies said...

ya ka? ala siannya ko. tak apa lain kali kalau ada rezeki. tapi budak sihat tak apalah

Idham said...

aarghh....i can't get enough of the breasts too...uwwaaaaa...
nak nenennnnn...

uhuks.

idham