Sunday, July 29, 2012

Moving Out Today

So we are moving out today Insya Allah. The mover will be coming in sometime at four in the evening. Of course I hope it is earlier so we could finish early and retire early ready for tomorrow suhoor and all. I suppose they want to escape from the afternoon heat. I'll be in the house in the morning to clean up and all Insya Allah. I have hired a cleaner as well Alhamdulillah.

The current house looks like tongkang pecah. Can't wait to get it done and over with. :D

So I'll be off the internet for a while until probably when I got to Malaysia at my parent's house or any intermittent free wifi I find. I like to share this video with all of you about sincerity by Muhammad Mukhtar Ash Shinqitee. At times like this, I need reminders over and over again to calm my heart and to renew my intention.

I am afterall a weak human being and I ask Allah to bestow on me ikhlas only for His sake. And one of the tests for ikhlas is that, you do not remind yourselves on any of the help that you have given other people only to ask later why did they not come to help you when you are in need. When you are sincere, you don't go "janji di tepati, kini masa balas budi".

If you are sincere for Allah, the only reward that you are to expect is from Allah. And He is the One who gives the best of reward and He may reward you now in this world in ways that he sees fit or He may reserve a bigger reward in the everlasting Hereafter.

In my last post I quoted a verse from Surah Insan that I find most beautiful concerning ikhlas. Sincerity requires strength of eemaan and tawakkul. Hatta you feeding to your stray cats. *chuckles* refer to last post.

May we be granted this.

See you on the otherside.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Our Stray Cat

Since we came back from last summer, we are frequently visited by a stray cat. She was pregnant when she first came. We fed her leftovers. She was a relief to us because sometimes I do not know what else to do with some of our protein leftovers.

She gave birth. I never saw her kids. I only can see the tell tale sign that she has been breast feeding. Then a few months after she got pregnant again. I never saw any of the kittens. And then pregnant again! Such is the life of a female stray cat!

The kids love her and they get nervous when they hear her cries for food. Quick! Quick! feed her!

When I feed her with leftovers, I would feed her outside the house because usually what she would do, she would pick one chicken and eat it on the floor. And i don't like this. However if I feed her from can food, I would feed her within our compound (because she doesnt take it outside the bowl). The problem with feeding her outside is, there are other bigger and meaner male stray cats. They would hog her food because they are gangster that way. I had to guard her food sometimes. Even then, she would surrender her food and hide away. Pfftt.

Despite a year she has been coming over and we have been feeding her, I never get to pat her. She would run when you try. She makes so much noise when we are late feeding her but hisses when you approach her to give her food.

I would sometime bebel, wah wah wah, after a whole time of feeding you, this is what you give me? Taik di bougainvillea ku (I have solved this problem), hissed at me, no showing of gratitude? Enter my house lagi enjoying the aircond. Amboi amboi amboi. Sungguh amat melampau!

But then I am reminded of these verses from Surah Insan 76: 8-11

And they give food, inspite of their love for it (or for the love of Him), to Miskin (the poor), the orphan, and the captive, (8) (Saying): "We feed you seeking Allâh's Countenance only. We wish for no reward, nor thanks from you. (9) "Verily, We fear from our Lord a Day, hard and distressful, that will make the faces look horrible (from extreme dislike to it)." (10) So Allâh saved them from the evil of that Day, and gave them Nadhrah (a light of beauty) and joy. (11)
Astaghfirullah. Why am I asking gratitude from this cat when I should expect reward from Allah? :( I am so weak.

I am feeling sad because I am leaving the house on Sunday and I cannot bring her because I cannot afford to keep cats in the house. And how am I suppose to catch her when she doesnt allow me near her. And I don't know where her kittens are and you should not separate a mum and her litter.

Allah is the one who provides. Allah will replace me with another rizq for her.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Rumah Impian

Some people exclaimed that THEY are sad that I had to leave this house. Undoubtedly this is a very nice house, masya Allah. It has every quality I need in a house and in fact even more. The landlord has been very good with its maintenance and in this country, this is rare unless you working with big companies particularly the one that hire loads of mat sallehs. People like us, have to succumb to shabby houses and non existent maintenance.

Am I sad? I suppose I am not that sad. It is inconvenient, yes. Especially I had to scout for a house and cannot find anything suitable with the budget I have.

The truth is I have always had this idea that this is temporary. When I first entered the house and got the furniture to fit in, I have always wondered, what if Allah takes this ni'mah away, will  I be sad? And I suppose I don't attach my heart to it greatly, Insya Allah. This is temporary in the dunya sense especially for me who is living in foreign land and job may be uncertain.

In a larger scale - nothing is permanent anyway.

Put your dunya in your hand and not to let into your heart.

I pray, though, that Allah does not test me on the loss of my beloved ones.

Somehow my mind is playing over and over again of the verse that Allah strikes the example of the example of the best woman - Asiyah wife of Firawn.

Tahrim 66: 11

 And Allâh has set forth an example for those who believe; the wife of Fir'aun (Pharaoh), when she said: "My Lord! Build for me a home with You in Paradise, and save me from Fir'aun (Pharaoh) and his work, and save me from the people who are Zâlimûn (polytheists, wrong-doers and disbelievers in Allâh). (11)
This has nothing to do with my house episode. It's just that I was thinking, Asiyah had the best palace of her time. She was the queen of a powerful king. But that didn't stop her from recognising the truth. And all the wealth and palace didn't matter to her. And there she was, the Queen of Egypt, tortured for her eemaan. And she yearned for a palace in Jannah that will surely be better than the one she has in her life.

And this also remind me of my sisters in other part of the world - displaced from their homes, tortured and raped.

I ask Allah that their heart remain steadfast and that they are granted martyr upon their death. Otherwise May Allah grant the highest patience. Ya Rabb give them respite speedily.

The other life is better. It is nothing that the eyes have seen, ears have heard and mind can imagine.

All of that is nothing compared to the house I am leaving soon. This house can never be equal to the "Baitan fil jannah" that Asiyah asked from Allah.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012


Subhanallah I am getting worried about this moving. For the past week the still occupying tenant of our future house has not confirmed when they can vacate the house. We were hoping they would move out this weekend, so we could merrily move in on the following weekend. That would be a perfect date since we prefer to move out before August thus not incurring another month rent in this current house. (The August rent for our future house is already paid).

Qadr Allah the still occupying tenant of our future house will only be moving out on 28th and 29th July. Which is Saturday and Sunday. In my perfectionist book, I want to take time to move. I want to clean he house first, get some boxes by myself put stuff in the kitchen cabinet and in the already existing wardrobes, and only move in 2nd August. But lover is so against it.

So despite that the still occupying tenant are still moving out on Sunday, lover insist to start moving in on Sunday itself. Maybe the boxes first then big stuff the next day.

Allah Mustaan.

Sunday is a weekday here.
Lover is not taking any leave on Sunday nor Monday.
Mover can only come after 1, because the still occupying tenant is probably still moving out.
This is end of July.
In the mid of summer.
Where weather is most cruel. Scorching more than 50 Celcius most of the time.
And it is the month of Ramadhan.
And did I tell you that lover is working that day?

Allah Mustaan.

My mind is all over that I cannot focus on Ramadhan this time round and partly its making me sad. But then what I know I will try my best, Insya Allah.

Cannot focus on Quran? What about dzikir? What about striving for patience? (Ya Rabb). What about making up with charity? Alhamdulillah there are many ways for ibadah.

And the one thing good also, I will be out of internet until I go back to Malaysia. So after moving, I won't be sitting in front of the computer much. Time to make up while i clear the house?

Again, I hope your ramadhan will be much smoother than mine. That you get to plan out your ramadhan activity which involve getting closer to Allah. And that Allah makes it easy for you.

And at the end of it, we come out winners and become among the muttaqun.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Sakit Belakang

We have already found a new place Insya Allah. The thing is, the thing is the tenant is still living there awaiting for their new house as well. I pray that they move out by next week. Because then only I can move possibly the week after. We have only weekends to play with and on the seventh, I am flying off for my summer break to tanahair tercinta. So the later I move out, the more jittery I become.

Regardless, I am slowly packing my stuff. Subhanallah just by cleaning up the kitchen, I found loads of expired stuff. OMG! I hope this serves a lesson not to be overzealous when I balik Malaysia. berangan nak buat macam-macam kuih melayu konon. In the end tak buat apa pun.

But I managed to gather up all the kids' small jackets and decided to sell it off for charity. Alhamdulillah the gir;s' stuff sold ok. The boys' punya kurang mendapat perhatian. So if any of you like to purchase branded (From Mothercare to Zara) jackets and sweatshirt, do tell. We donated to syria and Somalia from them. Alhamdulillah. I also have some girls jacket and a few girls' dresses.

I have gathered all the children small clothes and given them to charity as well. And finally admitting to myself that I cannot fit in some clothes anymore, thus I'll being it to Malaysia to give away as well.

We also gather loads of rubbish. I pray that we don't have to move every two years for me to spring clean the house like this. What have I been hoarding huh?

By the way, it is very likely that I'll be moving during the fasting month. Allah Mustaan.

I hope your preparation for Ramadhan is smoother than mine.