Friday, July 29, 2005

Ngandungkan Haziq

Aku teringatkan masa aku ngandungkan Haziq dulu. I was a happy, chirpy little bumpy whale. I was extremely big! Perut aku pun membusung betul.

Tapi Alhamdullilah, sepanjang aku mengandungkan si sulung aku tu, aku tidak ada apa masalah lansung. In fact mood aku sentiasa baik. Taka ada pun yang orang kata yalah orang ngandung. pembawakan budak..biasalah marah-marah. Padahal naurally sifat aku memang pemarah orangnya. Punyalah cerianya aku masa tu, sampai ramai betul orang yang pointed that out. Strangers pun senang aje berbaik dengan aku.

Ada sekali tu aku pi makan dengan member-member aku. Pastu aku ternampak ada a group of men yang tengah makan buah manggis. Aku pun perplex kejap. Aik! Ini musim manggis ke? Aku pun dengan sekonyong-konyongnya pergi kat mamat-mamat tu and cakap kat dia orang.."Eh eh manggis. Musim dah ya?" sambil aku ketawa.

Little did I know the consequences after that. The guys practically stop eating and gather the rest of the mangosteens and pastu dia orang kasi manggis tu kat aku.

Oh! Mama! Malunya aku! "Eh! tak apa bang..saya bukannya nak manggis ni..saya tegur aje..tak taulak ini musim manggis". To this dia orang jawab "Tak boleh! Kalau orang ngandung tegur..tu budak tu yang nak makan tu. Ambiklah...kita orang dah makan pun."

Itu bukanlah niat aku kawan-kawan. Tapi aku sengih ajelah and ambik buah tu. Tapi malu babe malu. Tak buat lah aku macam tu lagi.

Murah rezeki anak aku yang aku ngandungkan tu.

Murah rezeki member-member aku yang ikut aku dan makan manggis tu lagi banyak dari aku walaupun dia orang tak mengandung dan tak boleh mengandung sampai kesudah pun sebab dia orang tu jantan-jantan tulen belaka.

Dan murahlah rezeki mamat-mamat yang sacrifice manggis tu kat aku walhalnya dia orang tak kenal aku dan aku pula bukanlah satu prospect untuk dia orang dapat mengusha.


Tuesday, July 26, 2005

You see the thing with medicine for children is, to camouflage the bitter taste, they add flavouring to it. As far as I could remember most of the medicine in my childhood days taste that of cherry.

Now the problem is that cherry has been imprinted in my mind that it is medicine. So not even a yummy cheery sundae or ice cream or drink will pass my tongue. Excuse me..this is not ice cream. This is medicine. Yucks!

Subconciously I have equate cherry to medicine. Thanks to my childhood experience of medicine-taking.

Now let me just tell you another experience. The toilet at my office really smell of foul. After numerous complaints, I think the cleaner decides to change to a fresh strong smelling toilet cleanser. It is actually nice to walk pass the toilet now. It smells fresh and zesty. It reminded me of one of the man's toiletries product. The one that you can get of the shelf. It does smell nice. A fresh masculine smell after shower, my office toilet.

It's just that the other day, I passed by this man early in the morning. I was able to detect the smell of the toiletries he used. Fresh and crisp. Good good..I like people who are concern about their hygiene and their smell.

It's just that, I thought he smells like a toilet.

Monday, July 25, 2005


My friends and I at the modblog are running up a charity blogathon. It shall be on the 6th August. Starting at 2100 hours for 24 hours.

So the deal is we will blog for 24 hours at every half an hour interval, in return for donations. The Malaysian modblogger will need some charitable philantrophist to support this noble cause. All donations will be channeled to Aceh Relief Fund.

So if we can get more sponsors, Insya Allah we can give more to this fund. Sponsors will pledge the amount they want and once the blogathon is announced successful, hopefully the sponsors will honour their pledges and the money will be donated to the fund of the blog's choice. And in this case our choice are Aceh Relief Fund.

Here is an excerpt of the email from En. Mazlan Kamis, President and Executive DirectorARF


Thank you for your interest in wanting to support ARF activities in Aceh.

We have been helping school children through various activities (you can viewed them on our website:

Our biggest move to help children in Aceh is via our forthcoming project; i.e operating mobile libraries in Banda Aceh. The libraries will visit orphanages, shelters, and villagers in Banda Aceh. The mobile libraries will also act as mobile learning centers. Children can borrow books and also participate in learning activities (story telling, coloring, tutoring etc ) offered by the libraries. We are now raising funds to buy two vans, books, employ driver/educator and manage the libraries for about two years. Your donation can be channelled towards these purposes.

ARF is working with the Yayasan Masyarakat IQRA (IQRA) to operate the libraries. IQRA is also working with a Jakarta based organization, 1001buku, to collect donated books throughout Indonesia. My experience working in Aceh inform me that this is one area that receive little attention from big relief organization. Being a small organization, we prefer to focus on something that we can manage.

One question: How do you come to know about the ARF?
Best of luck. Pls do update me with your blogathon progress.


So since this is he only thing I can do i.e. blogging, may it be crappy, but if I can give something the community..why not?

So my friends..would you like to support us? Please be our sponsor and donate to Aceh Relief Fund.

To be a sponsor click SPONSOR PLEDGE

Otherwise you can always cheer us up during the blogathon session at Malaysian modblogger on the 6th August, Saturday 2005 starting 2100 hours Malaysian time. It's Akademi Fantasia Final us anytime after that also can. Sapelah aku di compare dengan World tu. The trick is also, if we miss the half hour dateline on updating, the blog will be kicked out. Considered foul.

At the moment my blogging time will be on 0600-0900 on the 7th. I will keep this post updated for changes.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005


My boss No. 2 called me this morning as I was walking into the office. I actually felt my heart skipped a bit. Does he know about me? About me possibly leaving the office? That wouldn’t be very nice. I wanted to tell him first. I do not want him to hear it from someone else. That would be like back stabbing.

I was walking behind him, walking nervously to his office. Then I sat down..ready to listen and ready to clarify.

So we had a friendly chit chat first. A few minutes later, he went on to ask my current project.the progress, who to delegate what. “You see two of our good staff are transferred to another department, so we are running short of hand. Lollies, I need you to look into this case So how do you propose this project to be done?What happen to the case 2012, yadda, yadda, yadda..”

Oh! Dear..Mr Boss No. 2.. I said to myself..he had no idea about me leaving then. He was giving me the extra work. Indeed, we are short of staff.

And Lollies,

(Gulp!) Yes..Mr. Boss No.2

How would you feel if you are given a new area to cover? I think you are doing well in the East project. So why not spread your wings to the North and Central project?
Mr. Boss No.2 said smiling It will do you good. I know you are not familiar with the North..but hey, I am still here…plus the principal is still the same. I have big plans here. Ms. Jaxx can cover your area, and you will take half of the Peninsula case. Meet new people, new challenges. And of course, with the managerial post and Nizam will follow you. You can train him.

Oh..well (but I might be leaving), can I have Jaxx instead?

Ha ha Lollies, you take Nizam. He needs training, so I need you to do that. I have trust in you. *smile*.

TRUST? Can you trust me Mr. Boss no. 2? Can you?

I was really at the edge of spilling the truth. I know I should eventually. I should and I would.

The thing is..I am uncertain. Well my heart is inclined to be where my lover will be. But the time is still uncertain..will I follow my lover immediately or will I follow suit much much later.

But the biggest matter is I am CHICKEN about this. I truly am. I can’t bear seeing my boss’s face when I tell him finally. I can’t even thik of it.

Oh! How I wish I don’t have to deal with this. How I wish the problem would solve on its’ own and everyone is happy. Happy with the decisions made. And I just wish things can maintain the same, and I don’t have to decide on anything.

This whole thing is making me sad and angry at the same time. I have a career and I am climbing a ladder. And the ladder looks more like a fast moving escalator. Everything looks promising here. And I want to leave all this? Hu hu..I love my children. I want to be with them always. But I am an individual with aspiring ambition. I like my degree and I like my job. My office is an important office in the company. We rub shoulders with the Ministries, Government important people, the Chairman, the President.

Do I sound selfish?

And that is, Ladies and Gentlemen, because I am.

I just am.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005


The messy Zahary having a go at his push-duck toy that goes rattle, rattle, rattle.

Walk like a man
Talk like a man
Walk like a man my son
No woman's worth
Crawling on the earth

Just walk like a man my son

The Chorus of Walk Like A Man by Frankie Valli

And now that I can walk, I thought I should make myself handy around the house. So Ibu, that bulb needs a change ok. Just give me time to climb.

The question is, how many one-year old boy does it take to change a lightbulb?

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Haziq is Seven

Haziq is my first. He is the first to a new life for me. I learned a lot of firsts of my motherhood life from him. Conceiving him and having him as a baby, and now a joyful little big boy, has taught me tremendous.

Indeed, all I read and all I think I know about having, a baby, never did prepare me fully of actually having one. There is indeed a difference of knowing it and walking through it.

No book can tell you the changes that you will experience. They'll tell you about possible weight gain, probable stretch mark, some might suffer from varicoise veins, water retention. That you can read. That you can swallow.

But that will not prepare you the emotional changes in you. The changes in the heart. The engulfing of love you feel when you set your eyes on that ugly wrinkly baby. The slice in your heart when you see someone else's baby who is suffering or the need to rach out for the mother who lost her baby. It's different before I actually had a baby. Indescribable.

I call this rahmah. Blessing or mercy from God. really Allah's rahmah that he bestowed to us is just a tip of the iceberg. And this very same rahmah blessed the ferocious lioness to love her cubs and not eat them. For those who have no empathy for children and the innocent people to the extent of bombing them..perhaps, they are not blessed with God's rahmah. Pray for them.

Haziq was suppose to come out on the 10th July. I waited anxiously for 10th July.

I walked and walked with this big potruding tummy. Oh dear! He is overdued.

Well to cut the story short, Haziq did come out on the 14th July 1998 at 7:06 p.m. I didn't know how to push. Doctor said push like as if you are passing motion, the biggest one. I was confused and dazed. Perhaps due to the morphine that I sniffed..they call it oxygen

Haziq was vaccumed out. Big Ouch! The epsiotomy was awful.

A vacummed baby, has this funny little head. Slightly elongated. Almost oblong. And Haziq, infact all my children, has this distinct pouty upper lip. I was looking at Haziq..and I thought he looked like a bird..with the head and the lips. And I wondered, if I pat his head often, would his head go flat like Frankestein.

Oh well, now look at him. He is a very happy boy. Naughty but yet sensitive. He is a Cancer boy, and they say a Cancer boy is always a mummy's boy. And he is very much. He has so much compassion in him. He is never jealous with his siblings and doesn't demand much. He shares all our love and his love with his brother and sister.

Happy seventh Haziq. Enjoy your life as much as I have enjoyed you.

Haziq and his father. He is three months old. Haziq I mean, not the father

Monday, July 11, 2005


Mr. Lollies' Lover,

Dear Mr. Lollies' Lover,

We are please to offer you the position of Lead Construction XXX in Engineering Major Projects Department Grade 16 at a fixed salary of QRxxx/= per month.

The duration of your employment will be up to 31.12.2009 with effect from the commencement of your employment

You will initially be required to work a probationary period of three (3) months following which your period of service will be confirmed for a definite period.

For the duration of this contract and for all conditions relating to base country, it is established that your town of residence is Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. The nearest airport is Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA).

If you wish to mobilise with your family, it is imperative that you advise us on acceptance and forward the following documents which are required for process of entry visas:

- Copy of your marriage certificate

- Copies of passport of your wife and children

- Copies of your children's birth certificate clearly showing father's and mother's name.

In acceptance thereof, please sign the duplicate of this offer and return with the Qualification and Experience Data Input forms to be signed as soon as possible.

This offer is valid for 10 days from the above date

Saturday, July 09, 2005


I haven't been wirting about my Greentoe hobby for a long time. That is due to the fact, ladies and gentlemen, that I haven't been doing anything much with it. I haven;t purchase anything to add to my plant collection.

Do you remember my old post when my plants died quite sometime ago. Well read Memoir of my Greens and Sign of Hope.Since then, there are no new collections of plant purchased due to lack of fund.Anyone care to sponsor me some plants for me? I'll promise I'll take good care of them.

Anyway, some of my plants did recuperate. Amazing really. Look at the before and after picture.

With tender, loving care, grow it did.

Well, I didn't take the same angle. But trust me, it did survive. So that's good ain't it?

Also I had this fern, which also survived. I guess it must have spread spora and also at the same time attracting other fern's spora, because not only now am I breeding baby fern, I am also attracting other different type of ferns. They are quite pretty, really.

It's growing near each other and actually causing a mess. So I decided to get myself some pots and rearrange them. I have never seen some of the species in the nursery either. They are quite nice.

This is the baby of the original fern.

An even newer one. I'll let it grow first until I get an idea what pot would suit it best.

Left picture : New fern in the jug pot. Right picture:I really like this one. It deserves a bigger pot. At the moment alone. Elegant green.

I really like the greens. You would find me sitting outside staring at nothing in particular on the grass. They calm me down. And believe me friends I need that.

I am also starting a new project at my backyard. The grass is growing quite nicely. I plan to make a herb garden there. There's nothing much there yet, just lemon grass, both the normal one and the wangi one. And both have served their purpose.

Here are some baby plants, I just sowed. Chillies and tomatoes. Creeping on the fence are beans.

And surprise, surprise, on of the plants Bunga Ati-ati, which I paid not much attention to, is blooming little red flowers.

You know, they say the grass is always greener on the other side. But psssttt, you know my rightdoor neighbour, Mrs. *, well suffice to say, this time the parable is not in my case. The grass is greener on my side. He he.

I guess, there are reasons to be happy.

Thursday, July 07, 2005



Ni collection of pictures masa aku pi PD cuti sekolah hari tu. Tengok muka Zachary tu. Dia tak kenan langsung dengan pasir pantai tu. Melentik-lentik jari kaki dia bila kena pasir. Dia dok pandang laut pun, muka nervous semacam aje. mark this space ya, itu future hero Malaysia tu.

Pastu kat pantai tu aku jumpa satu obeservation fort zaman colonial I suppose yang tak di pakai lagi. So biasalah jadik tempat melepaskan kekreativitian cintalah kat situ.It still make a good picture though.

Sebagai blogger yang bolehlah dikatakan aktif, aku pun tulislah nama aku kat pantai dan ambik gambar.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005


Friends, can you name this country for me?

Description of the country

Location :
Middle East, peninsula bordering the Persian Gulf and Saudi Arabia. It jutted out of the Peninsula Arab like your appendix.

total: 11,437 sq km
land: 11,437 sq km
water: 0 sq km

Area - comparative:
Slightly smaller than Connecticut

Land boundaries:
total: 60 km
border countries: Saudi Arabia 60 km

563 km

arid; mild, pleasant winters; very hot, humid summers

Mostly flat and barren desert covered with loose sand and gravel

Natural resources:
petroleum, natural gas, fish

Oil - production:
790,000 bbl/day (2004 est.)

Natural hazards:
Haze, dust storms, sandstorms common

863,051 (July 2005 est.) Three quarter of them are expatriates.

Population below poverty line:

Muslim 95%

Government type:
Traditional monarchy

3 September 1971 (from UK)

If the facts are not helping, here take a look at this map. What is the country in the box?

The answer some of you have pointe out. And also those who are not good in you know. He he

Friday, July 01, 2005

Laporan Pertengahan Tahun

Sekarang ni musim ambik report card. So aku pun ambik jugak report dua-dua anak aku tu dan inilah laporan aku.


OKlah si sulung aku. Nombor pun ok. Markah pun ok. Masa dia bawak balik paper dia dulu, aku check yang dia salah pun mostly careless bukan tak tau concept. So I have no qualms. Stress sikit on the jangan careless. Other than that aku rasa tak ada apa hallah. Tak adalah nak suruh dia dapat 100 aje memanjang. Or kena dapat nombor satu, dua, tiga aje memanjang.

Observation aku is dia enjoy pergi sekolah. Making friends, main, kenal cikgu-cikgu, tau obvious rules, still kiss me in public..aku kira itu sudah cukup baik.

Cuma satu ajele..heh heh heh ada jugak yang nak complain aku ni. His subjective score dari Cikgu English dia ni yang aku ada frown sikit. Haziq dapat oral English-B, attitude in class (from the same teacher) dapat 2 out of 5. 2 is the teruk side. Cooperation also dapat 2 out of 5. Aku pun macam pelik. Aik si Haziq ni kadang-kadag "speaking" lagi dengan aku. Tak adalah hebat sangat tapik aku heran jugaklah. Then cikgu lain kasik average or slightly more than average. Mengapa agaknya yek?

So aku decided tu jumpa dengan cikgu itu. Yelah..I think I like to know cikgu tu punya criteria and expectations. Bukan nak question asal cikgu kasik markah macam ni. Anak saya pandai tau, saya yang beranakkan dia saya taulah. Cikgu apa tau. No! No! No! Bukan macam tu. Aku tau anak aku tu memang ada nakal aku nak dengarlah pendapat cikgu tu. Sambil-sambil tu boleh gak aku build rapport sikit dengan cikgu.

Pagi tadi aku pergi. Haziq yang tunjuk bilik cikgu kat mana. So cikgu tu kata, oh "Oh! Saya kasi B, sebab I think A is for really eally excellent. So untuk bagus memang saya kasik B' Oh gitu. Hmm biasalah masa time aku pun memang ramai jugak cikgu yang tidak suka menggunakan A unutk bagus. OK, I am fine with that. Aku cuma nak ensure yang anak aku ni tak termangu-mangu aje depan cikgu tu. Dan lepas tu cikgu tu kata, Haziq ni memang boisterous sikit. Suka ke sana, ke sini. Cikgu tu rasa Haziq ni bosan agaknya dengan syllabus english. A bit too low for him. Kecuali kalau cikgu tu kasi crossword puzzle. Hah! Mesti si Haziq tu jadik excited and will finish his work. Masalahnya cepat sangatlah pulak. lepas tu kacau budak lain. Laaaa..Bila cikgu sound, dia buat rileks aje..macam dia tak sure pun cikgu tu marah ke apa.

Pastu aku tengah borak-borak dengan cikgu tu, tetiba tanpa semena-mena, si Haziq pun masuk bilik cikgu tu. Dia pun cakap Hi! Ibu!, Hi teacher! Dia pun salam cikgu tu macam kawan-kawan dia agaknya. Eh! Budak ni! Sesuka hati dia aje. Dia ingat ni kawan dia ke apa? Ayoyo! Dia lepak kat situ sambil dengar conversation kita orang. Tersengih-sengih.

So aku fahamlah cikgu tu. Anak aku tu memang macam tu. Hai harapnya cikgu tu banyak sabarlah dengan anak aku tu. Tapikan aku rasa aku dah jumpa cikgu tu, tanya-tanya pasal anak dia yang baby tu, kesihatan dia semua..heh heh..Insya Allah..anak aku akan ok dengan cikgu tu. Dan aku ada nombor phone dia. Selalulah aku akan tanya khabar dia. Oh! Lupalak nak hantar sms kat dia cakap terimakasih. Akulah mak, mak yang akan bodek cikgu..the way I look at it is aku make them my friends, so things will go easier on my son. tak lah macam masa aku sekolah dulu. Hmmpphh!

Overall aku puas hati.


Batrisyia tu sekolah tadika ajele. Aku pilih sekolah yang tak stress sangat on academic. Sekolah yang instillkan the love of reading not to memorise to read. No! No! Kalau macam tu baik aku bela parrot lagi bagus. Aku ajar dia ikut. Pandai gak. Aku tanya parrot parrot..what is the speed of light..dia pun jawab 3x10to the power of 8m/s. Apa dia jawab pun dia tak tau. Aku taknak macam tu. Aku nak sekolah yang learn through play dan bukan rote learning dan hafal hafal hafal. Aku rasa oklah sekolah yang aku jumpa tu. Bukanlah a franchise name.

Mula-mula Batrisyia masa hantar dulu, aku observe dia, kalau cikgu nak tolong ambik beg pun dia marah. Apa bendalah makcik ni. Dia ingat orang nak curi barang di ke apa? Tolong susunkan kasut dia pun dia marah. Tolong tolakkan buai pun dia marah. Pandang dia pun dia marah.

Sekarang dah ok sikitlah Batrisyia tu. Dah ada kawan dah.

Tapik cikgu kata dia ni ada pelik sikit. Pulak! Apparently bila cikgu nak buat flashcard dengan dia ke, baca buku ke, point numbers ke, alphabet ke dia akan kata "I don't want to do it! Dan dia memang takkan buat. Cikgu pun give up. So cikgu leave her dulu..till next time. Tapik bila cikgu tengok orang lain punya. Dia siap tolong bagi tau kawan dia lagi mana yang salah. Lepas tu dia pulak yang nak jadi cikgu. Sarah can you tell me what's this? Good girl! Yes you what is the colour of this ball? So cikgu dia tau lah yang actually she does know the stuff.

See she likes centre stage.

Macam-macam anak-anak ni.