Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Respect the Glorious Stripes

Do you know that the idea of flying a flag grew from the requirements during the ancient ware fare and battlefield? Since the warriors need to know where the leaders are, the custom of carrying a pole was then adopted. With a zing of creativity, emblems like shield, animal or religious device are used for identification.

Flags became much more elaborate, and were seen as objects to be captured or defended. Eventually these flags posed too much danger to those carrying them. Imagine being promoted as the flag carrier. Gulp! After the World War 1, flags are used in ceremenouis occasion until now.

Some people said it’s the Chinese who first use the flag and same said it’s the Romans. Well, the vexillologists will need to debate on this.

Now the popular use for a flag is to symbolize the nation and can provide inspiration and an overwhelming feeling of someone seeing their flag flown for a good reason. You can observe this during International sport like Olympics and so forth.

Today is Malaysian 48th Independence day. This is also the month where you can observe flags flown everywhere. Little flags on the car. Little flags with those little cheap sweets, flags on the building, flags at residential homes, commercial buildings..everywhere. They come in various sizes. Indeed the previous month must good business for flag making manufacturer.

As much as we want to show our love for the country by putting up the national flag on indeed an important day for the nation, there are some things we need to remember to show respect to the flag all the time. Even after the 31st August.

Sometimes I see some people carelessly, in the awe of flying the flag, allow the flag to be dragged on the ground. Oh no! A flag must never be treated that way. That is disrespect to the flag and thus the nation. Take care of your flag.

And tattered or faded flag should be removed with a new flag. Sometimes you see those little flag they put on the car, patriotically flying with the speedy breeze, tattered and black after being exposed to pollution. But that is not patriotic. Please remove it. We want to see the glorious stripes. We don't need another indicator on how bad the pollutin is.

When a flag is in such condition, you know when it is no longer a fitting emblem of display, it should be destroyed in a dignified way. Preferbally by burning it in private with all due care and respect. No one is allowed to burn the Nation’s flag in the open though. You only see flag burning during demonstration of protest nowadays. This is indeed a symbolic way of putting down a nation.

Please be sure that the flag is always flown the correct way up. Flying the flag upside down is a sign of National’s distress.

Our Ministry of Information was in his distress mode again, because people are not flying the flag as much as he like. I also hope he will take great care of all the flags that he displayed on the building of Angkasapuri. Don't worry Mister Minister, people do love this country. We just do no want the flag to be misused.

Respect the National’s flag. Respect our “Jalur Gemilang” or Glorious Stripes.

Alhamdullilah the country has gone 48 years of independence from the British. Peace.



Flag flag

Where I got my flag picture

Monday, August 29, 2005


Never! Never sell your car to your friend. Even when they know the condition of the car. Even that they have acknowledged that a 8-year-old car would have a "kurap" exterior look, they will make an issue out of it.

Unless you actually hate your friend, and you are ready to make a foe out of him. And if you are happy to add to your I-don't-want-to-friend-you list then, go ahead.

Oh and unless your car doesn't have the kuraputtish look and that also possbbly mean it's a young car, then also OK. Other than that, sell it to strangers.

And perhaps it is your friends' lack of vocabolary, but describing the car that he has viewed and has driven himself as "kurap" only depict that he needs to start wearing glasses.

Al Fatehah to my auntie's son in Kuantan who passed away peacefully at 1200 today. She lost her daughter last two years. Same cause. Hepatitis.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Sya At It Again!

My lover went to the bank this morning and brought Bartrisyia along. It was a good day. Sya was chirpy, her usual self. Me..I am still on leave. Busy minding Zachary who was not in a good mood.

I was putting him to sleep when my handphone rang. I cursed under my breath. Phone ring might wake Zachary up. It was my lover.

Apparently it was a frantic call.

Lollies! Sya hit her head and now its' bleeding!"


Sya..she was jumping around when I was at the till..and she hit the partition..right on her head!

How is she doing? Is she ok?

Well she looks ok..but the slit is deep..I think she may need some stitches.


So now do you want to see her first or should I take her to the clinic straight away?

Now..I really wanted to see her and hold her. I wanted to be there when she is stiched if she were to be stiched..and then I want to strangle her! Goodness! What's with her and mishaps nowadays?

But I must be practical. I know strangling is not the answer, so I said, my lover should go ahead and do whatever is right.

She got stiched alright. *Sigh*

The doctor said she was brave though. She cried little.

I think she was afraid to cry. She was afraid that ayah would tell her off. She was afarid Ibu would tell her off. And when Ibu is angry, hell is really near.

But I this is not the right time to say I told you so. The stitches is quite enough. Some things come out better when it is not even uttered.

I hugged her though and later she slept for two hours. Her head must have hurt.

Later in the evening I bought her a Barbie bag for being a brave girl in the clinic.

After I wrote this, while I was putting the kids to sleep, Sya, unprovoked, said " look like Neo."


Two seconds silence.

Then whoa! Neo!

My lover kissed Sya and hugged her laughing.

Wow! Sya definitely scored with her dad.

And my lover definitely scored with me tonight. Yummy Neo you.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

We All Went to see a Movie

I took leave yesterday to take all the kids to a movie. Charlie and the chocolate factory. Haziq was excited because he has read the book. But he didn't finish it though. He claims that he has got to Chapter 18..I think it is the part Augustus Gloop goes up the pipe.

This is Zachary's first movie. He was very well behaved. Then they started showing the trailers. Zachary was almost shocked, he stopped short from eating his pop corn. You know I think they should review the trailer that they want to show before a children's movie like this. They were showing Dark Water and Creep..which were really creepy.

Zachary has short attention span tough. In the comfort of the dark, and the bom bam boom of the THX sound system, Zachary slept. The chocolates and candies were not alluring enough I guess.

After I had Haziq, I rarely go to movies anymore. I didn't have maids then, nor do I have my parents to ask to take care of the kids while I go catch a movie. But even now, I still do't do that. I guess the guilt engulfed me too much. So if I really really wanted to catch a movie, I would take a leave. Which I did for several films. Me and my lover. Not many though. Now I just catch them on the VCD.

Haziq's first movie was Nemo. That was Batrisyia's first too. They were terribly excited, I had to repeatedly tell them, the moment the lights are off, you should not speak. If you have too, you can only whisper. Haziq talks a lot and he is loud too when he is at it.

Popcorn is a must for me. The caramel one. I don't like salty popcorns. I don't like salty anything. When I get my fish and chips, no salt for me please, no vinegar neither. And when you watch a movie Like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, you should have something sweet to nibble. Just watching the movie makes you crave.

It started off with a scene of rows of machines making chocolates which is really a beautiful shot. Never have you seen machines so glamorous like this. I love the starting.

Johnny Depp is probably a suitable Willy Wonka too. I mean he can be quite weird. Do you know the re st of the contenders for Wonka? Steve Martin (OK I guess), Robin Williams (OK too), Christopher Walken (too serious..this guy is a macho hit man) , Nicolas Cage (eeewwwww) and Michael Keaton (err ot Wonka) were all considered for the role of Willy Wonka. Marilyn Manson (OK he would be suitable but it would be too dark for me) also badly wanted the part, and was apparently the director's first choice, but this could not be accomplished due to scheduling conflicts.

But Depp who was also with Tim Burton for several films anyway like Edward Scissorhands and Sleepy Hollow got the part. Depp is yummylicious. But in this one he is funny, weird and sometimes scary. Sometimes I find Mr. Wonka a very very strange character. Even in the book. Apart from is creative inventions of chocolates, him living alone in the big factory and his beautiful rivers of chocolates and beautiful landscape, with no real adults that he can talk too..I think he is a bit cuckoo. In the film, Wonka is really white. He had no beard like in the book. For a moment, the almost-amusement-park reminds me of Jackson. Michael Jackson. And why he invited children into his factory..

There was a twist at the end of the movie which I think is fine. It strenghtens the plot and made it slightly more believable. They even introduce a new character, Wonka's father, who is dentist. That probably explain why Wonka's teeth is perfect. Watch out for Depp's teeth in the movie.

One distinct dialogue I remembered from the movie was when Wonka's father said to him. "Lollipop! They are just cavities on stick!" Don't listen to him people, seriously Lollies are no stick..I have curves!

Other than that, the children enjoyed it. It's colourful. Even though I do see some dark side of the movies. I can almost catch Depp giving a sly satisfied look each time the naughty kids got into trouble. His face was stamped "YOU DESERVE IT!". In Roald Dahl's book, I thought Wonka tried harder to stop the naughty kids from their mischief.

All in all it's a feel good movie based on a classic childrens book where bad guys are punished and good guys are the winner.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005


Dulu aku duduk di Kajang. Masa tu anak sulung aku tu, Haziq, baru berumur tiga tahun. Masa dia umur empat tahun lebih aku daftarkan sekolah rendah untuk si Haziq. A bit earlylah untuk daftarkan sekolah tapi aku suka buat benda ni awal..peace of mind.

Kawasan rumah aku mostly populated by Malays. Seingat aku dalam the whole row tu ada dua aje Chinese and two Indian and definitely more than 10 Malay families.

Kadang-kadang tu aku tengok budak-budak balik dari sekolah, aku perasan semuanya Malay. So I have this silght dissapointment yang sekolah itu akan heavily populated oleh Malay students aje. I wish that he can be in a school yang ada a better mix.

But well..tak kesahlah. Haziq pun ada involve in activities yang terdiri dari rakan-rakan of a good mix..dan Haziq pun tak kekok and enjoy the activities.

Tak lama lepas tu aku pindah rumah. Kawasan ni has a better mix. In factnya aku rasa half of the population is chinese. Aku pun daftar sekolah untuk Haziq kat kawasan tu pulak.

Come his first school day, aku pun pergi sekali.Alangakh terkezutnya aku sebab there is only one chinese boy in his class and only two indians in a 45 number of students in Haziq's class. There are also six standard one class and there are classes with only malay students.

Where are the chinese population here?

Anyway aku kenal a few of my neighbours kat sini. Ada seorang tu, aku tak tau nama dia. Tapi nama anak dia Wilson. So he'll be known as Bapak Wilson. Wilson ni kawan dengan Haziq. Dia orang sebaya. So aku tanya Bapak Wilson, Wilson ni sekolah kat mana.

"Oh! I sent him to the Chinese school nearby"

Hmm...I see rupanya kat situ perginya anak-anak chinese kat kawasan rumah aku. Then Bapak Wilson continued' "Actually we couldn't get him into the school as it is quite full but the MCA youth helped us. They talked to the school and also donated. Then the school opened up three more classes for Standard One."

I see.."Well Mr. Bapak Wilson..what if you cannot get a placement at all..I suppose you will send Wilson to the National school?". He retorted, "Oh! No! We planned to send him to the one in Jalan Klang Lama."

"Just like Mrs. Tan eh Mr. Bapak Wilson, but that will be two buses away.". To this he said, "Yeah ..a bit far. Have to take two buses..but sacrifice a bit lorr."

Adoi sanggupnya dia nak hantarkan anak dia ke vernacular school naik sampai dua bas. Anak Mrs. Tan tu aku tengok keluar seawal-awalnya naik bas sekolah. Tukar bas somewhere kat Puchong, then naik bas lain pi Jalan Klang Lama. Balik rumah pun sama gak. Dua bas. Hari-hari dia sampai rumah lambat betul.

So I guess aku seorang ajelah yang nakkan integrasi di sekolah untuk anak aku.

Bandar Kinrara Chinese School Petition

Sunday, August 21, 2005


My mum has blogged earlier about my life routine here, Do you think it's easy?. Well somehow my life routine changes a bit now as I grow up. But still, I live in a routine. Routine comforts me. I like routine. I hate surprises. I don't want to be surprised with Ibu going out for outstation for days. No! Please don't surprise me like that. I get confused and confusion upsets me.

My schedule is somewhat predictable, I nearly, always know what to expect next. And this bring great assurance of security to me. .Do you know that babies feel secure and confident within the loving framework of caregiving rituals. The world is a responsive, predictable place, and life is good!. Read it if you don't believe my word.

Ibu usually comes home at 6 plus nearly everyday. And she would find me waiting at the door grill. My heart shrunk when I see her red car stopped in front of the gate, and Ibu open the gate and slowly park the car.

The moment she stepped out of the car, I would shake the grill. "Ibu!" I least that's what I said..I hope they understand me though.

Ibu would smile...ahhh those comforting smile. Open the door grill, kiss me or ruffle my hair. "Pick me! Pick me" I would shout again and raise both my hands up to her. But usually she doesn't pick me straight away. She has many things in her hand. Handbag, camera, sometimes books, papers.

Then I would toddle and follow her around. If I can grab her skirt or pants, even better...she would have a hard time to leave me alone. And eventually she will pick me up.

I would then play clingy and refuse anyone else. She would put on my shoes and we, together with Ayah, will go for a short walk. It works all the time.

Later, I try as I might not to let her off my sight..but my brother and sister are always up to something. They always manage to distract me from Ibu. Ibu always manage to get away. And when I finally notice she is gone, I know she must be off for shower.

Hah! Now I must climb up the stairs. Ibu! Ibu! Ayah always get the signal and will always escort me up the stairs. As I am nearing the room, I can hear it. The comforting sound of the shower. I am rest assured that Ibu is in there doing her thing.

So I waited with Ayah on the bed. I pretend that I am interested with whatever silly game Ayah plays with me. I laugh when the situation needs for me to do so.

But the real fact is..I am listening. Listening.

Shhhh listen to it. Can you hear it?

Ahah the shower has stopped roaring! Ibu is done.

I would then scramble, scramble from the bed. I must get down quick! Throw everything from my hands. Leave Ayah's game. Quick! Quick! There is no time left!

Toddle, toddle, toddle.

Check myself dribble.

My hair is good.

Stand infront of the bathroom's door.

Deep breath.

Creakkkkk Door open.

IBU!!!! Raise both hands up! Pick me! Pick me!

Then I'll tug her towel. That will never fail me. She would always pick me up! Almost instantly. see I love routine. I know the exact timing. I have rehearsed this almost everyday. I am always there for her. Dry or wet, Ibu.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Life : A Random Babbling

I have not been feeling good this week. I have been coughing so hard, now my voice has become coarse and my throat hurts. The thing is, I am not even sure whether it is an unproductive cough, or chesty cough or even a dry cough. It felt like all of them. I can feel the phlegm but my throat hurt as well.

And my flu. What kind of flu is this? I can't blow it but I know it's there all the time. My nose is stuffed. And I can't do anything.I can't breath through the nose, so I had to do it through my mouth making my throat even drier.

To top it, I even have mouth ulcer on the tounge or rather at the side of my tounge. Braces and mouth ulcer is really a bad combination. These two are evil. The braces scraping the ulcer is really killing me. So when I eat, it hurts to chew because of the ulcer and it also a pain to swallow due to the sore throat.

But did that stop me from eating. No way man! My appetite never dwindle, rain or shine, healthy or sick, pain or painful. I will never allow such pain to stop me from my journey of eating. Well in a way, I did allow them to stop me. Today during the long Friday lunch break, I didn't go out. I am still in the office because I am so not well. I have eaten though. A good portion of chicken rice with two chickens.

What! I am hungry okay!!

Anyway my kids are all not well either. And my lover was not at home. I came back yesterday to a coughing Haziq, feverish Batrisyia and Zachary is still down with fever. I sponged both Sya and Jack2. Sya was okay later that night but Jack2 was still not well. Even this morning.. *Sigh* I am so tired.

My lover came home, LATE, last night from Kuantan. He brought a lot of food, otak-otak, satah and kueh akok. But I can't eat any. It hurts too much. I am not sure the fact that he was late or the ulcer in the mouth. Errrr did I say earlier that my appetite never dwindle? Well..forget I said it.

Sometime at 11 last night when I am tryiing to put Jack2 to sleep (again), Sya came to my bed and started to play with Jack2. I mean it's okay to play. But it's near midnight! And why is this girl not asleep. I am already drowsy with all the medication. Tired. Sleepy. Stuffed nose. Not factors to keep my mood chirpy even for a cute song. I shouted at Sya and told her to sleep in her own bed and leave Zachary.

Then quiet. Sya left, instantly.

Then I felt bad.

My auntie in Kuantan has three kids. Really healthy and plump kids. At least seemingly healthy.

Her second child, the only girl, passed away back in 2003. She had Hepatitis A. I was there when she last drew her breath in Hospital Selayang. She was there for a month. Yellowish and water retention was making her bigger day by day. She was only 14 then.

Now my auntie's eldest child has the same symptom too. So this is all like dejavu. The flashback quickly flashes in front of you rewinding itself day by day. He is now in Kuantan hospital.

I can only pray.


Soon I felt bad for Sya. I mean what was I thinking. So I went to her and hugged her and said sorry. She turned, sad and angry face. I said I need a hug. Then she hugged me and put her face on my shoulder and sobbed.

Bless my child Allah and take care of her. Take care of all my children


Little life amongst the lemon grass

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Spot the Difference

Spot the Difference, $user

These two pictures are Baytrisyia's eyebrows. Her left eyebrows. Can you see anthing different?

Batrisyia, somehow got hold of her father's shaver the other day. Being her curious little self, she tried to imitate her dad and start shaving. Since the only facial hair that she has are her eyebrows, so she shaved those.

Thank Goodness, we found her in the act. Caught with her pants down, this girl. So she didn't manage to shave it off entirely.

I didn't know whether I should be angry at her or otherwise. I was angry since shaver is quite a dangerous tool..but then you have to give her credit on her curiosity. And she looks funny now.

But being a vain girl, I think seeing herself now is quite a punishment for her. So I think she has learnt her lesson alright.

I am thankful she didn't hurt herself in any way.

Thursday, August 11, 2005


Gambar ni menunjukkan hotspot dan smoke plume pada Jun 2005. Sekarang ni double teruk asap yang dapat dilihat. Tapi aku tak ada pulak gambar terbaru. Dan dijangka, dalam minggu akan datang akan menjadi lebih teruk.

Hai...huruf AP masa sekarang ni dah betul-betul jinx dah kat negara ni.

Masa mula-mula cerita Ayah Pin.

Lepas tu cerita pasal Rafidah Aziz dengan AP dia

Sekarang cita pasal haze yang teruk denag API pulak.

I feel like puking and I am not sure which is the cause. the fact that some people minum air cuci kaki AYah Pin ke atau API yang dah reach over 500 ni.

Hari ini aku, selaku Menteri Pendidikan di Lollies Kingdom telah mengishtiharkan cuti sekolah bagi anak-anak yang tinggal di kingdom tersebut. Haziq telah di tugaskan untuk membaca cerita Charlie and the Chocolate Factory..sekurang-kurangnya satu chapter satu hari dan cerita kat aku pasal Willy Wonka. Semoga dia dapat inspirasi pasal cerita Charlie tang duduk kat rumah kecik bersama-sama keempat-empat atukya itu.

Sementara itu, bagi Datuk Sri Rafidah Aziz, lepas ni kalau nak tetiba rasa nak cuti rehat, terpaksalah naik kat KLIA sebab airport kat Subang dah tutup. Pilot yang terer macam Kapten Norhisham Kassim mungkin susah nak landing and take off kat airport Subang ni. Aku nangis tau baca cerita ni. Bukan cerita Rafidah..cerita pilot ni. Clicklah and baca.

Dalam sibuk-sibuk ni, semua tak tau manalah Ayah Pin pergi agaknya. Ayah Pin merajuk ke teapot Ayah Pin kena hancurkan? Kalau AYah Pin ada kat KL, mungkin susah jugak nak tangkap Ayah Pin..sebab dalam haze ni, visibility rendah ni, orang soma pakai mask..susah nak nampak Ayah Pin.

Aku pening kepala.

I think people are now worried and angry. Is this haze phenomena becoming an annual thing? Why is it that every year semua gaduh pasal pembakaran hutan di luar kawalan tapi tak ada siapa pun yang ambik action. Mana Government to government action dalam hal ini. Di manakah penguatkuasaan dari Kerajaan Indonesia. Takkanlah Kerajaan Indonesia nak mintak tolong Ahli Bomba Malaysia setiap tahun untuk memadamkan api. Where is the preventive measure? Sibuk sangat nak Ganyang Malaysia dalam sikit-sikit hal. Ganyanglah api kat tempat korang tu.

Understandably we do not want to slip into a bad rift dengan Indonesia ni. yalah, dengan Thailand dah mula sibuk buat cekadak pasal Islamic terrorist, dengan Singapore punya hal, and you think kita dengan Phillipines tu baik sangat ke? Dari dulu dia tension pasal Sabah punya hal. So we do not want to get hal lah dengan Indonesia, our last hope of Muslim brothers.

Tapi I am walking in a constant smoke, for months every year!!!!

Ya Allah..ubahlah arah angin Barat Daya itu ke kawasan yang tidak berpenghuni.

Disbursekanlah the smoke and particles tu. Lindungilah keluargaku dan keluarga rakan-rakanku dari both Ayah Pin and API yang makin tinggi ini.

Edited 12th August 2005

Malaysian Government has announced that we are going to send our heroes, YET AGAIN, to help the Indonesians, who conveniently said sorry, to stop the fire. Wahai kerajaan Indonesia, mengapakah kamu mengambil lewa sahaja isu ini. Can I charge you also for the medical and inconvenience costs that have been incurred here due to your lack of penguatkuaasan? Are you just waiting for the Malaysians to send our troops to help because you know we would have to sooner or later?

Kepada abang-abang bomba dan aku tak ingatlah jabatan apa lagi, selamat berjuang ya..demi negara. Sian abang-abang ni..

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

My Blogathon Stint

First of all, just a recapped. I participated a blogathon run at Malaysian Modblog with a few other people on the 6th August. I didn't do it all by myself though. There were six others. We raised a bit of money, not so much though. If you like to donate to ACEH RELIEF FUND, just click HERE. Today is the last day. the money dos not go through us at all. It goes straight to the organisation we picked. Thank you for those who have pledged. Thank you.

Anyway, we arranged the schedule so that volunteers can pick the best time that suit them. I picked 0600-0900. Since first of all, at those times I would have less distraction, particularly from Zachary (I hope). He should be asleep. Even if got up, it’s already morning so he should be in a good mood. Second, I knew I would be at my parents. They are on dial up, and I know during the day, on weekend, after Akademi Fantasia concert, the dial up can be slow.

Typical of me, doing last minute thing. Never really thought of what to write. I had some ideas but I didn’t think of it. Nothing can go wrong I believe.

On Saturday, the few hours before the blogathon, I took some I thought, why not I write about these. But then I realised I left my card reader in KL. So during the trip to Muar, I was nagging my lover about this. I was telling him that I need another card reader. Exasperatedly trying to justify why another card reader would do the family good and at bad times I can feed all the children with the card reader. You see, lover, a card reader is really like a magic teapot. *bat eyelashes*.

I am not sure whether it’s the flirting or he is just tired with me, but we did try to find a card reader in Muar. But most roads were jammed up. My lover gave up. I said, “so how now, the blogathon? I don’t know what else to write. I don’t write well, I need photos to assist me.” My lover said, “we’ll go out later”. “But darling it’s Akademi fantasia night??”I cried. “It’s okay, Miss Snotty, I’ll go myself and find your CARD READER.” “Oh! Smoch! Smooch! Sorry I am on my period, darling.”

Anyway one good thing turned out was, I decided to upload the pictures on the very night, while waiting for the result of Mawi the sure winner to come out. See I am not Miss Procrastination. Snotty maybe, but not procrastination.

As I wrote, I woke up early that morning. Good enough to put up six entries for the day. Jack2 was a good baby, he slept so soundly. But the dial up, the lightning which tripped the ELCB spoiled the morning. I couldn’t connect. I was panicked. I had to sms PB that I might not be able to put up any entry at all. Poor poor PB.

But if you know me any better, all this was driving me crazy and I hate givng up like that. When I promised something, I hate having to say, I can’t. Well I probably can’t give the most perfect thing (you can tell, my contents were crappy), but having not able to do any entries at all, is like stabbing me. I got all helter skelter inside.

So I decided..that I don’t care that I had not taken my shower, that I was still in my night shirt, my boring night shirt, that my hair was a mess, that I had not change my underwear. That moment, without much thought, I scrambled for my car keys and drove off to a cyber café at 0700 in the morning.

Okay, I know places in Muar. I know a cyber café, which looks like it is close, but in fact it’s open for whole night long. I went in there. The place full of young boys. Nearly everyone smoked. It’s like a second haze inside. Got everything up and manage a few more posts in the Malaysian Modblog. Phew! That actually makes me feel good.

To top up that morning, I had the typical morning tummy ache and felt so much like going. But I dare not try the toilet. So I stayed and chatted with PB to keep my mind off that feeling. PB had to endure my complaints. Sorry PB, did I spoil your breakfast?

At the last few hour, I farted so much. I think in the midst of smoke, young boys and all that, no one would notice. Ha! Ha! Come on surely, a woman does not fart in public. So don’t look at me boy, it’s that boy, the one in the oversized cap.

So, don’t know about the rest of the contributors, but when I went home after the blogathon stint, I felt good. Yeah I accomplished two things. Blogathon and farting in public!!

The picture is courtesy by Primary Basic at Modblog in her entry PANIC.

Read my entry on the day at MURPHY's LAW

Friday, August 05, 2005

This Whole Thing About Qatar

Now I am sort of ready to tell about this whole Qatar business. So buckle up.

Now you know that my dear lover was offered a job at Qatar an he is ready to accept this. I am happy for him.

The day that he went for the interview and when he came back, I can sort of tell that the interview went well and he will probably be accepted. Starting from that day I was already feeling sad and I even cried when we had lunch after the interview.

Suddenly flashes of my current life appears before me. Myself, my independence, my children, my parents, my friends, my career. Suffice to say I felt sad despite I am happy for him. This is probably unfair to him, but as a normal woman, I can be driven into moments. And that very moment, only emotions are my driver.

When he was finally accepted. I cried even more. I don’t think I can have a decent conversation with him regarding this without either crying and arguing which may not necessarily be in that order either.

Why am I sad? Sometimes I wonder. First of all, perhaps Qatar is not a country that I would be happily jumping to live in. Despite I am from a Muslim country, but Arab culture is different from Malaysia and I am worried of the woman’s life there. I have my independence and my freedom here. I can basically move anywhere I want. But over there, well some may be myths…but at a glance, jeez, I might not like it.

Secondly, I would be an ex-pat’s wife. Is it too much if I said I would be reduced only as an ex-pat’s wife. Seriously not a title that I covet. Not earning on my own. Leaving a great job for that? Okay there is nothing about being a housewife. But 24/7..I am not even sure I can cope with it. I know many woman are doing it, my mum did it well. Suffice to say, it’s something that I have to get use to.

I made him promise, he must get me an internet connection, preferbally a DSL and a desktop PC. He said of course. And a NIKON SLR, and a big stud diamond ring. A matching earing and a necklace to match as well. He said he will. Then I think he just said it to make me say yes. Hmmmm….

I didn’t tell many people. Only the closest one. Even when I put up the Name the country, I still couldn’t even tell many people. Because I wanted to think on my own. I need time to be rationale and get my senses together. But I guess some can sense it even though not everyone can sense my anguish and sadness. Regardless, I appreciate everyone’s kind words and concern. That was a big moral support.

It saddens me also when some people think, this going away is so much driven by the financial package it provides, such that we are willing to be apart from the family. Nevertheless, I understand that whatever said was in the best intentions. Indeed money is not everything in life.

My lover has been off work for more than a year. He has been doing some freelance thing, which is okay, but money is not rolling much. We have no capital and debts are mounting. And perhaps we are not entrepreneur enough yet. With the combination of the above, and also the fact that he is not getting any job at all in Malaysia, Qatar is like an answer to our prayers.

But those time he has been off work has been a good experience for him. He found other talents within him which is surprisingly good and gave him confidence. Guess, we may not be rich in monies but we are rich in experience. And we haope that we can use all these experience when we come back home later.

As for me, I am currently opening up and feeling more positive of this whole thing. Still I hope all the bureaucracies and what nots will buy me more time here. He he..hooray to red tapes. Hooray to inefficiencies.

I have talked to everyone concern. My boss no.2, my boss no.1 and my Madam Kahuna. All are very supportive and in principal support the non-paid leave that I will be applying. Now I need to write to the Dato’ Chief Kahuna. Because of my current posting I am in, the one to approve is this Dato’ Chief Kahuna.

My Boss No. 2 is the best. He said to me, finally, family is all that matter. Go with an open mind, for then only I will be able to see great thing. Then only great things will come. I felt good after that. Good words can really change you.

Well, my lover has send all the necessary documents, our passports, medical check ups and all the papers. The thing is that, yesterday, after three weeks, they wanted my lover to do another heart test. The ECHO test.

Funnily, despite I didn’t want to go in the first place..I am suddenly feeling a bit nervous with all these shenanigans.

So the answer to when I am going, I can’t tell yet. Most likely is this year. But do not worry, I will tell.

Oh and the other thing is I love you all too. You gave me so much moral support which I need. Thanks for the private calls, emails, YMs, ISMs and sms. You all made my day.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Walking Through Smoke

It was 5:00 o'clock in the evening yesterday. I was still at the office. Cllickety clack clickety clack. Doing my work..well let's assume when I am infront of the PC, that is real work I am doing.

Anyway, I looked outside my window and I felt that the sky has changed. It's dark and gloomy outside..but no it was not going to rain. *Sigh* The haze is here again. Just moments after that, I can actually smell smoke in my office. Ahhh how can you breath when you know that you are breathing dust and carbon monoxide? But then how can you live when you don't breath?

The smell of smoke and the feeling of heat was getting quite bad even though I am in the office supposedly cooped up. I felt dizzy and felt like puking afterwards.

Even now, the day after, I felt not so good. It drizzled this morning, which somewhat cleared the air..thank God. But my throat is dry and my head still dizzy and I think I'm going to get a flu, fever all that thing.

Apparently there was some oil palm estate which caught fire. Is that true? I don't know. I didn't manage to catch the news last night. Too sick to do anything. But I managed to watch Desperate Housewives though.

Despite the limited vision, I still manage to catch some photos on my way home.

The hazy one is taken yesterday during the haze. The brighter one is obviously taken when the sun can penetrate through the atmosphere and onto the blessed land of Malaysia.

This is the Telekom building. During the haze and when you can see it better.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Haziq's Exam Week

It is Haziq’s exam week this week. He had his Malay paper yesterday. We all know that he made at least one mistake. “Apakah buah, bijinya di luar? The answer is cashew nut which he doesn’t know but because I told him, even if you do not know the answer, just answer something reasonable. You’ll never know, it might be right. So he put jackfruit.

Now I got him a malay poem and riddle book.

It’s English and science today. If he can go to school that is.

He woke up today with his eyelids stuck together like it was pasted with glue. Oh! Minor eye infection, I thought. We cleaned it then he took his shower. He was cheerful just like any day. Then when he is done, I looked at him. He looked back with two big red eyes. Goodness! Haziq has an eye infection. So no schooling for you, boy. Which he gladly accepted it.

So I went to Haziq’s school to explain to the teacher and discuss on the possibility of retaking the papers. I know he is only in Standard 1, and is no big deal. But it’s nice to have his records done well especially when there is no stress involved. I like to know his progress anyway.

While I walked in the school compound I saw a teacher, presumably a teacher since only teachers can park in the school compound, trying exasperatedly to park into a bay which was swarmed with children playing and running around. I just thought they should sacrifice the bay, which was of course very near to the building, to a place slightly further where the kids do not play. The teachers should walk. They can observe a lot of happenings among the children while at that.

I was there at 7:20 a.m.. Went to the teacher’s common room but his class teacher was not there. Since I did not know where to go, so I stood outside the room. Waiting.

A few students were around. Most of them were clutching a book. Apparently the ruling is no students can go around without a book in their hand. Noble. I wish they are reading it though.

Some students even greeted me morning teacher. I smiled..good kids. easily it is to fool children.

Then after sometime with my two and a half inch shoes, I got tired standing. A teacher came and asked whether I wanted to seat while I wait. Yes! Of course and showed me a set of settees in the middle of the common room. Thank you.

There was another girl there at the settee. There is really nothing odd with seeing students in a teacher’s common room..well unless she is sitting there alone, unattended and crying. She was crying. And there are teachers there..but they were all talking among each other, about recipe, about their kids and drinking iced water in the morning. And the girl was crying..alone.

First I asked about Haziq’s teacher and no one knows where she is. Then I told them about the girl..and they all said they do not know what’s wrong with her.

Finally after some time, a teacher came, the same one who showed me the settee..let’s call her Ms. Concern. She came despite she was sitting the furthest from the settee. Yes, Ms. Concern is a concern teacher. Asked her nicely, what happen. I think the girl was not feeling well and was probably distressed since it’s an exam week and all. Ms. Concern asked who her teacher is. She answered, Ms. Blur.

“Ms. Blur,” called Ms. Concern, “It’s your student. Perhaps you would like to talk to her.” Ms. Blur who was having a fun conversation, obviously interrupted, took a glance and said, “She is not mine.” Ms. Concern asked again who her teacher is. Again she answered, Ms. Blur. Ms. Concern had to walk to Ms. Blur and said something to her, to this she finally got up and said..”Oh yes, she is mine. I didn’t see her.” She smiled sheepishly. I am slightly disturb actually.

Anyway the bell rang and Haziq’s teacher was still not there.

A man came into the room. I think he is the assistant principal or something. The second person. Took attendance and also asked for Haziq’s teacher. She was still not there.

Then I also asked again of her whereabouts. Then some of the teachers called her and only they found out that she had actually took an emergency leave. Okay..thank you for telling.

I explained to the teacher the reason I am here and all that. And yes they will ask Haziq to take the exam next week. I said thank you and left at 8:00.

The girl was still there crying.

They are calling her parents.

They had better come quick.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Haziq and Bra

Si Haziq tu sebok nak tau what is the word for bra. It's funny when he tried to describe that thing.

Ibu apa nama benda yang ibu pakai tu kat tetek tu?

I know what he meant actually tapik saja je nak buat cekadak.."Apa dia lotion ka?"

Bukanlah bu...yang sarung tetek tu lah sambil dia proceed selak baju aku.

Hah..nama dia bra lah Haziq.

Hah bra..eja dia B.R.A eh?


then I thought whatdatoot budak ni tanya pasal bra ni. Should I explain about the birds and the bees ke? Bukanke aku dah explain pasal birds and bees ni kat dia dulu.

"Asal haziq tanya pasal bra ni?" I asked.

ahh Haziq ingat nak buat lastik. Dia macam getah kan boleh tarik lepas tu lepas...fuyo jauh wooo boleh pegi...pastu boleh isi batu..ada dua compartment.

Hmmm...jangan ambik bra ibu ok. Ibu punya mahal.

Haziq ambik nenek punyalah.

OK but don't wear it ok.

Eeeeeiiii orang lelaki mana boleh pakai. Tak ada teteklah...

Haziq hasn't seen the world yet.