Thursday, March 31, 2005


Why oh why
Do you jay-walky
on the busy
three lane roady
right underneath the...

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Rudely Awaken.

My friend who was rudely awaken and shaken due to the tremor the other day, came to the office with a groggy face and red eyes. She stayed at the Vista Angkasa "condo" and felt the tremor quite badly.

Then I remembered when I was in the UK, in the halls where I stayed. You can make a mark that for every exam season, there will definitely be two or three cases that I would be rudely awaken in the middle of the night by the alarm siren.

It's not funny when you want to be fresh for the Power System paper tomorrow morning, at 3 o'clock in the wee hours of the freezing winter morning, the alarm, which is really outside your door rang frantically. My eardrums was vibrating in resonance to the siren bell. It’s so loud, it clouded your judgement.


Most of the fact all the time it's those pranksters. Breaking the alarm glass, stealing the little hammer or some potheads smoking marijuana triggering the smoke sensor. Don't they know how to puff the magic dragon??!!! They should stick to the bong really. Not just that they would spray the whole floor with the fire extinguisher foam drawing an exaggerated human anatomies, presumably a fantasy of their puny part. They are no gynaecologist, I am sure of that. There are no medical students in my hall.

OK this is so not related to the tremor of Sumatera's quake measuring at 8.5 Reichter scale. No way there. But I remembered the fear we had when we thought there was fire of sort in the building.'s not sexy to see me in my jammies, and my bunny slippers wrap up in my long coat, wild hair, red eyes and all. It's freezing here for God's sake.

I then imagined my friend who had to run out and run through flights of stairs Fear can probably be seen in her eyes. But seeing families with babies... and yet over here in Malaysia was nothing really. Those directly affected in Sumatera and in fact in other places suffer most. There are more earthquakes in this world now. The earth is rotting. The crust that holds it together is giving way.

As Paul pointed out, the funds collected for the 26th December Tsunami disaster probably have not even done distributed and yet another one is here.

God! I shiver just thinking of it.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Music Chain Stick from Spa

Got this from Spasticolon..and I thought okay this can be fun. It can be a record of some form of what kind of person I am now. Perhaps in ten years time I'd laugh at my choices of songs..aaahhh I think too much here it is

What is the total amount of music files on your computer?
1 GB only. I am so not techno savvy and I still buy CDs and listen to LPs on the system.

2. The CD you last bought?

Spider Nazraku

3. What was the last song you listened to before reading this message?
Your Body is A Wonderland-John Meyer (acoustic version)

4. Write down five songs that you often listen to or that mean a lot to you.

i. Tiada Dusta Antara Kita- Broery Marantika and Dewi Yu
ii.Where Do the Children play – Cat Stevens (Actually I like all Cat Stevens song)
iii.Fields of Gold-Sting (Sting is another favourite of mine)
iv.Janji di Ikat-Normadiah (I dance with my lover…)
v. Yang bertakhta akhirnya – M.Nasir (Well give me M.Nasir old solo songs and Kembara I like)

What can I say..I like old songs…that probably tells a lot about me..vintage he he

5. Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons) and why?
No one really. Since everyone I know has got the stick already..but you can tell me your song in your comments if you want..

Monday, March 28, 2005


This is heaven.....

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Zachary and His Car Seat

I have the honour to interview Master Zachary on his experience with the car seat. The interview took place in Zachary’s Ibu’s car, with Zachary In the car seat of course, just to illustrate the point last Sunday. Master Zachary, with his bubbly self and perky was more than happy to grant me the interview…of course with supervision by the Ibu. But she’s a sport..she made drinks.

Me : Hi Zachary. Whassssuuuupppp?
Zachary : Whasssssuuuupppp man. I’m alright know no complains. I’m fed well. I manage to climb the stairs all by myself the other day and stood at the railings. Ibu nearly had heart attack. Ha! Ha! (Zachary laughed at his mum who was pretending to read)

Me : So are always seen in the car seat. There are many pictures in the modblog with you in the car seat. Do tell us about your experience with the car seat.
Zachary : Well I’ve been put in the car seat as far as I can remember. Especially when Ibu starts working. Everyday she ships me to Mama Ina’s house in Bangsar so I am sort of forced to sit in there.

Me : Forced?
Zachary : Well you know, given a choice I’d rather be hold by my mum. Sometimes I do that. I cried my lungs out..or I made the pitiful face. But when she drives, she pretended she didn’t here me and sometime she laughs to the noise that she call radio. Thank God she doesn’t sing to Linkin Park. At least not when I am around.

After a while, really, I know the car seat is actually good for me. I do feel safe. You’d never know what the traffic is like. Sometimes when Ibu made emergency brake..I am really thankful that I am in the car seat strap with seat belts and all. Many a times I think..the car seat has served well.

Me : What do you do meanwhile your mum drives?
Zachary : know what people do in their car. You have your own private bubble thing. I can’t pick my nose just I play with the bear or whatever Ibu gives me. I suck nearly everything. But sometimes I just stare outside. What fascinates me are the motorbikers.

Sometimes I see couples carrying their infant on a motorbike. In the morning sometimes the wind can be harsh to babies you know. They stopped next to me..I can feel them looking at me. They must think I am one lucky dude. You know sitting in the cosy seat, safe, air conditioned car. Life can be hard sometimes. The parents have to work and the babies have to be send to their sitters…carless. They have to risk the whole family’s life on a motorbike. Not everyone can afford a Kancil you know. So there they are bundled up in threes sometimes four on a motorbike. I do feel sad for my peers.

Me : That’s another side of you I don’t know Master Zachary
Zachary : Smiles. But you know what’s worst? Sometimes I see parents who put their kids behind the steering wheels while driving. That is crazy man. Just plan suicide. Parents! Please don’t do that. No matter how much we cry..don’t succumb to the temptation.

Me : There should be a law against that huh?
Zachary :Well that’s another issue. Enforcement and all. Are car seats really affordable in Malaysia. I don’t know. And MPVs are they affordable too. If you have one child..fine. One car seat seems ok. If you have three young kids, to have booster seats for all and also a maid in the car. Seems impossible right? At least don’t put the kids behind the damn, ooopsss sorry Ibu, wheels I mean.

Me : So Zachary. This has actually been quite an interesting interview. I didn’t realise it’s going to turn quite serious..he he. But I enjoyed it and hope can interview you on other topics too.
Zachary : *Drooling. Droolin*. Wipe off the drools. You really have to excuse me and the drools. You see my tooth is erupting so I can’t help it. Involuntarily thing yo know. Maybe we can talk about the importance of taking care of the pearlies later. Ha ha
Me : Ha ha..Yeah I will.
Zachary : Did I tell you that the fun thing about sitting in the car seat is, due to the posterior of a baby who tends to curl up. The car seat is also made that way to support the baby’s back. Our bones are not as strong yet you know. So you are sitting in shell of sort. That way I can really fold up my body and can actually lift my toes up. Most adult can’t do this. I can suck the toes to my heart content. Ahhh heaven.

Master Zachary n his many antics in the car seat.The one on the right is showing him helping Mr. Incredible to safety.

Report : The Babbling Makcik

Wednesday, March 23, 2005


This is a risky one to take.

Actually I have posted this lama dah kat my other blog. This is just a revisit.

Have you ever seen this piece of vandalism around you? This particular scribble was taken on one of the columns under the Kerinchi Link highway along the Jalan Pantai Baru, near the University of Malaya. Sadly there are many of this "graffitis" there. I pass this road every day and I find it a real pain-in-the-eyes!

Bukan kat Kerinchi aje, ada kat Abdullah Hukum, Jalan Klang Lama and somewhere kat Mid Valley.

Somehow Dato’ Sri Anwar punya die-hard supporters must have thought that it is best to scribble the occasion of welcoming him home on the public’s property. Personally, I think even he wouldn’t favour this act at all. But tak pernah pulak I tanya kat dia.

Surely there are better ways to inform the public than spraying the columns!!

Alahai rerakan semua, kalau kita agak-agak nak conteng pun, tolonglah buat graffiti yang cool sikit. Ada tempat tu ejaan pun salah. Sekurang-kurangnya tunjukkanlah ke creativityan kita as Malaysians.

This is not a classic case of Handwriting on the Wall.


Monday, March 21, 2005

Used Dictionary

Since Haziq is always asking for the meaning of new words he found, (or I have been nagging him for not asking when he doesn't know), I gave him a dictionary.

It's not a new one actually.. I gave him my lover's Little Oxford dictionary that he used during his university days. I don't want to give him my dictionary because mine is the thick one, you know good quality paper with the easy to fing thumb-index thing. And only me, me, me can use it.

Anyway, he asked for the meaning sacrifice. That was the main reason why I took the dictionary to him. I thought it'll be good to introduce dictionary and will actually make my life easier. So there we went finding the letter "s" an proceeded to the word sacrifice...which I sort of regretted doing.

You know dictionaries, they give a lot of meanings. It is kind of complicated for him. Anyway I summarise the meaning to him, gave an easier example, by telling him that he can sacrifice his "GAMEBOY" to perhaps do well for his coming exams. To which he answered and I can get the "PS2" if I do well.?

OK he got the meaning.

Then I told him, for any new words, you come to me so we can go about finding the words together.

After 5 minutes he came back. Gosh! That was quick. What's this word, he asked

LOVER henkem

Actually I wrote down my lover's name. Haziq knows that it was his father's name written there

And this?

Lollies was 'ere.

Did I tell you that it was my lover's dictionary that he used during our ehem, ehem, courting days. Darn!

Then I said..well ignore it..those mean nothing.

It's okay Ibu. I can use the dictionary to know the meaning. Let's find 'ere first

Alaa, Haziq those are wrong spellings really. Ignore it.

Who wrote this?
(he actually look dissappointed. I think because he was looking forward to really use the dictionary)

Ibu wrote it..long, long time ago..

You wrote with a wrong spelling on a dictionary??!!!

Wrong move..this dictionary.

I think soon enough Haziq will find many more secret notes I wrote within the dictionary. My lover never did find it.

Maybe I should give him my dictionary instead.

Friday, March 18, 2005

Nilai Satu Sen

Kat Kedai Dunkin' Donut Sg. Besi

Masa nak balik kampung hari tu, aku singgah dulu kat kedai Dunkin' Donut Sg. Besi sebab nak makan donut dalam kereta. Aku beli dua Choc Frost sebab Haziq suka yang ni, tiga Bavarian Creme, one for me, one for my lover and the other one for Sya. Pasal aku beli lima dapatlah free satu. Aku ambik Sugar Raised. Lepas tu beli pulak air Choco Malt without ice. Aku memang tak suka ais.

Anyway total harga dia aku tak ingat tapik ada lah yang hujung tu RMXX.08. Aku kasik mamat cashier tu duit bernombor bulat. Dia pun proceedlah tekan-tekan kat cashier till dia and nak pulangkan duit. Lepas tu aku taulah mesti dia tak ada duit satu sen satu sen. Dia bukak wallet dia, tanya kekawan dia. Soma tak ada. Lepas tu dia bukak balik till dia nak kasik duit kat aku. Presumably 5 sen or 10 sen.

Pasal aku tengok effort dia nak carik gak duit untuk aku, aku pun cakaplah kat dia.

Tak ada duit satu sen ya?

Tak ada kak.
(sekarang ni soma orang kat cashier till panggil aku akak)

Kalau gitu tak apalah dik. Lain kali banyakkan lagi stok satu sen tu ok

Terimakasih kak.

Aku ikhlas halalkan duit 2 sen tu kat dia.

Kat Kedai Buku Sri Tanjong kat Muar

Aku beli Pizza Hut take away kat Muar hari ni sebab kat Muar tak ada Domino's. So sementara tunggu tu aku cakap kat Cinta aku, aku nak gi kedai buku kat sebelah.

So aku pun round-roundlah dalam kedai tu. Ada buku budak-budak Ladybird. AKu pun belilah dua. Satu untuk Haziq - The Ghost House - Marie Birkinshaw and satu untuk Sya -My mum is Mad-Lorraine Horsley.

Total harga dia pun aku tak ingat. Tapik something macam ni lah RMXX.03. AKu kasik duit bernombor bulat lagi. Aku takda duit satu sen masa tu. Minah cashier tu pulak sekonyong-konyongnya beri aku balance tak cukup 7 sen. Aku memang dah anticipate dia memang takkan bagi aku duit 7 sen. Tapik aku nak tengok approach dia masa nak kasik aku balance.

Dia kasik aku duit, koyak receipt kat till dia tu. Lepas tu proceed tu berborak dengan member dia yang dari tadi dok bubuh label harga kat buku-buku yang tak ada label harga.

Aku pun dengan suara yang ada sikit stern dan semi professional tanya lah dia

Balance ni tak cukup. Betul tak?

Apa dia? Ah memanglah tak cukup. Kita orang tak ada duit satu sen.

So? Kenapa tak cakap? At least apologise.

Habis dah tak ada akak nak suruh saya buat apa? (Pun orang panggil akak kat sini.)

Sila kasik saya 5 sen. Tak ada 5 sen, kasik saya 10 sen. Tak ada juga..20 sen. Nak saya sambung lagi ke?

Dengan muka yang sangat masam dia kasi aku duit 10 sen.

Bagus! Thank You very much.

Petang tadi aku memang dalam mood nak buat cekadaklah. (aku bukan PMS ok..aku memang macam ni kekadang tak yah nak tunggu syndrome tu). Tak kesahlah aku tengah dukung Zachary ke apa. So aku carik manager dia.

Nasib baik tak ada. Makan pulak apek ni.

Aku bukan nak marah ke apa. Tapik aku rasa perlu bagi aku sebagai rakyat yang bertanggung jawab dan prihatin give one word or two on ethics membayar balik duit balance yang involve kan duit satu sen. Janagn nak rip off duit orang aje kerja.


Lagi satu apasal masyarakat Malaysia ni tak nak value kan duit satu sen ni? Nak manufacture sekeping duit satu sen tu pun lagi mahal dari satu sen. Orang buat tak tau aje duit tu. Pasal kita tak herankan duit ni, any kenaikan harga kita gak kena balik. Kalau naik harga tepung 10 sen sekilo..harga roti canai pun naik 10 sen sekeping. Sekeping roti canai tu tak sampai pun sekilo tepung. Serupa jugak bila gula ke, ayam ke, sayur ke naik harga, benda lain pun naik harga tanpa menggunakan formula berkadar terus.

Imagine bila dia orang naikkan harga tepung, mamak tu naikkan harga roti canai in the pretext "harga barang naiklah", dia actually dah buat untung tak kasik can. Basically naik aje harga barang asas adalah peluang bagi tokei kedai untuk naikkan lagi profit margin. Tapik pasal kita rasa naik 10 sen teh tarik tu is affordable, kita pun don't mind. Nak boikot-boikot leceh pulak. Kan tak merasa pulak minum teh tarik kat kedai Raju tu.

Tambang bas kat UK menggunakan duit 1p dan 2p sepenuhnya. Jadik rate kenaikan harga dan impact kat customer taklah teruk sangat. Barulah namanya tidak membebankan pengguna. Regardlesslah ada orang kata rate segala-galanya di Malaysia adalah lebih murah berbanding dengan negara lain. Harga minyak kat Malaysia ni masih murah, tambang kapalterbang murah, tol pun murah bila compare dengan negara orang lain. Pernah tak kita compare the buying power negara lain dengan kita?

Kita tidak akan membebankan para pengguna, my foot!

Apa-apa pun tolong pulangkan duit satu sen saya ya.

All you have to do is ask.

Whenever there is a wedding, Haziq will always ask if there would be any cake. He associates wedding and cakes.

We went to a wedding this week, for indeed this is a wedding season. ..and there was cake alright. Two tiers. Haziq pointed out..Ibu..cake

I pretented I didn't hear because really, I'm not going to bother about this cake. I'm not sitting at the main table. So I don't really feel like I will actually get a piece. Secondly, wedding cakes are not nice enough for my taste.

You know the shenanigans of cake cutting during weddings. Whenever they do cut up the cake, the bride and groom will be forced to humiliate themselves by spooning each other the cake. Preferbally if the icing would leave a moustache mark on the groom, that'll be such a comic relief. Sometimes they use a long sword to cut the cake. Cutting cakes can be as ceremonial as the wedding itself.

And wedding cakes are not meant to be cut and distributed to everyone. Especially if they use the long sword. The cake will really be eaten up later. Much much later, definitely after I have long gone home. I do not intend to stay that long.

So I forced the kids to sit with me. Hopefull Haziq'll forget about the cake.

He asked again for it. I told him, It's not cut yet

Then he went on and played with his sister.

After a few minutes he come back When are they going to cut them?

Haziq, really if you want cake, we'll get them when we go home later ok.

But that's different. I want this one.

Really wedding cakes are not that nice.

How do you know?

Trust me..I'll get you the one at Secret Recipe.

Now that'll keep him quiet. A promise or a bribe, really, in return for him to stop asking. That'll work.

Then the charade start. The couple cut up the cake. People made jokes. They are forced to spoon each other, as predicted. . The couple looked emberassed. People were happy. They were cautious though. No moustache.

Then I saw Haziq standing there, eyes wide locked on the cake. He was armed with a weapon. A lethal weapon. A piece of plate!

Kek ni nampak sedap. Boleh mintak satu?

Then he lifted the plate to the bride and flashed his winning smile.

Everybody was actually stunned.


Nobody..nobody actually talk and ask for cakes during that time. Centre stage and all. And nobody really know Haziq there.

The bride laughed and cut up a slice and put it on his plate. (She passed the attitude test that day. The Bride's Attitue Test towards children. You don't know this test? The test do exist. Trust me.)

Haziq said thank you. Left the stage, momentarily, then turned back to the bride.

Satu lagi boleh. Adik sayalah. Saya lupa.

And he got it. He walked away grinning with his priced cakes.

He walked towards me still grinning.

The rest of the children and their mothers and their fathers and grandpas and grannies just looked at the cake they dare not ask.

Haziq told me, you want anything Ibu, you just ask.

I was right about one thing though...the cake was not that nice.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Midday Sleep

It was midday. I just put my son to sleep. I must have drifted to sleep somehow. I woke up, it was 11:20. The house was quiet. My lover wass out, the kids are at their grandparents. Nothing to rush for. No reason to be up. Zachary's porridge is done. My lunch can be instant noodles. I've been craving for that lately.

Zachary was on my right. I rolled to the left. Then I closed my eyes again. After which I heard voices. Someone is in the house. They walked into the room. I am sure there are more than one. At least two of them. My heart was beating furiously.

I can't wake up!

They walked towards Zachary. Whispering. I can somehow hear they were talking about what Zachary did this morning. Still in whispers, I can hear they were trying to move Zachary. Pulling him towards them slowly.


I couldn't shout though! I just laid there struggling to even open my eyes. I tried to move towards Zachary..but my body just refuse to respond. What is hapenning? My brain is still functioning..I am still thinking, at least that's what I thought.

I tried as I might to lift my right arm. I managed, finally and put my arms across his chest. It was an akward position. Myself on my side to the left and hand clinging out to the right for my baby's life.


They stopped pulling. They went quiet. For a long three seconds, I felt Zachary turned towards me. Put his little, soft hands on my shoulder.

The whispers again.

Then I felt they backed off. Walked away slowly, but not before one of them hold my foot. A non threatening few seconds. Then I felt a soft fabric like caressing my foot.

Somehow I thought of my lover who has this habit of waking me up by tapping my foot with his socks.

They left slowly towards the door. I heard shillings jiggling in my handbag.

No. Something is actually at my ear. Tickling them. Whispered again

When are you going to wake up?

I slowly opened my eyes. Very afraid of what is to behold of me.

My lover was leaning over me.

Let's have lunch. I bought something

It's already 1:00.

And Zachary is already up.

My heart was still thumping though.

Monday, March 14, 2005


I guess after the move from the PJ office, this is the structure that I'll probably miss most. Well not miss as in mushy-mushy miss, but it's just something I don't get to see anymore.

As I drive out of my office I'll be staring at this structure before I get into Jalan Utara(?). I really feel like I am driving towards an eagle spread legs. Everyday, every evening, I would stare at the structure and I'll be thinking of the same thing.

You really have to excuse my strange imagination. Some people look at clouds and they see bunnies, cartoons or strange messages. In this hazy environment of ours, clouds are a blessing.

I am only limited to concrete jungles. I make full use of it and let my brain wander off..

Drive even further, I am at awe at the huge legs. Unlike the vitruvian man, I can't tell the gender of the leg owner. It's non gender bias.

And when I am nearing the junction, I will look up and find this V on top of my head.

Then I'll continue driving..until tomorrow great legs.

But now, no more legs for me. I'll watch out for some other thing.

The merge of the LRT tracks at LRT Asia Jaya

Friday, March 11, 2005


I picked Batrisyia up from school the other day. Put her in the car, put the seat belts on, made sure her skirt is proper, then place a white blanket over her legs. The sun can be cruel on her. Then we started chatting.

Ibu, bila Sya besar nanti, Sya boleh drive kan?

Hmmm..if you want to.

Sya nak drive nanti…nantikan bila Sya besar, Sya kerja, pastu Sya beli kereta, pastu Sya drive..bestkan Ibu?

Bestle tu..(do you know that I have to run out of the office to pick you up, because I can drive?)

Then she started talking to herself

Nanti Sya dah besar, Sya pegi kerja. Pagi-pagi Sya bangun mandi..Ibu pun kena bangun jugak, nanti lambat..

Lambat ? Apasal pulak lambat ?

Yelah Sya gi kerja, Sya hantar Ibu pergi sekolah dulu..kalau Ibu lambat, nanti Sya pun lambat pergi kerja.

Ibu pergi sekolah ?

A ah ! Sebab Sya kerja..sapa nak jaga Ibu nanti. Ibu dah tua. Sya hantar Ibu pergi sekolah ok?


Kadang-kadang Sya meeting tau Ibu, Sya lambat sikit tau..Ibu jangan sad ok..

Alaa Sya janganlah meeting lama sangat kesian Ibu duduk lama kat sekolah.

Nanti Sya suruh Abang ambik Ibu lah..

Oh dear..I am not sure I should be happy or worried in the future.

Well if she is going to put me in the old folks has better be a daily one equipped with internet connection..and maybe a pool.

Sya is sending me to school

Wednesday, March 09, 2005


In the spirit of maintaining an organised chaos scenario during the moving time, we labelled all the boxes to ensure we know which box is what. However, I can't be too explicit with the contents, worried that people might nick one of the CPU boxes, softwares, sacred documents and my collection of cheap souveniers I got when people go abroad.

So I put cryptex on the boxes in terms of messages to disguise the content. Only I know the true contents of the boxes.

Monday, March 07, 2005

This is to my friend LNDA

You have probably noticed my coldness this past few weeks. I am sorry..I am sorry my dear friend. I am sorry for making you feel that way.

So much is happening this month. The moving, the dungeon master some people call boss, life and you. You are actually part of it. Yes you dear. You know despite me encouraging and being happy that you are actually moving OUT to a greener field..I feel sad. I guess I don’t show it well..I’m not good with handling emotion.

Then I thought what the heck am I being so selfish about..this is nothing about me.


I am glad we talked..which is unlike me really..It is assuring that we are still friends…and I am glad that it is you.

As much as it is tough to not have you around, it’s probably even tougher for you to adjust to the new place, new people.

Well like a good friend I must say this to you. Give them time to open up. Soon they’ll find out how a wonderful person you are..I did.

Also as you may know girls take time to warm up..that’s why we need foreplay. Mana boleh serbu-serbu aje. Having said that, please don’t start kissing people’s arses, at least not literally.

I am quite a jealous girlfriend.

Little rose taken from my little garden

Friday, March 04, 2005

Heart Wrenching

When MOSH found out that she was going to have a baby boy, she was exhilarated. It's not her first child though and not even her first boy. She was excited because it seems like a perfect life having boy, a girl then another boy.

Then she told me

Lollies, I like to name this boy Haziq. I hope you don't mind.

Mind? Why would I mind? I am honoured. Regardless you are not naming him after my son..but I like to feel honoured anyway.

The meaning is good kan Lollies?

Hah! Hah! I hope he lives to fulfill the name. But you know Mosh, my Haziq is such a sensitive boy. I think he is going to be Mat Jiwang. Ha! Ha! Ha! So you might want to think twice about the name.

You are a riot lah Lollies.

Anyway, Mosh gave birth last Sunday. Unlike others who get to hold the baby the minute the baby popped out, baby Haziq was swept away by the doctor and nurses into the ICU.

Apparently a few moments before coming out to the world, baby Haziq passed motion. The faeces got into his lung and toxified his system.

For days Baby Haziq lived on the machine.

I cried and cried when I found out. I cried harder when I visited her. It is heart wrenching. Look at the baby with wires all over. Poked here and there. This week had actually been a sad week for me. A terribly sad week.

Two days after delivery, MOSH told me that Baby Haziq is now 90% breathing on his own. The blood pressure has improved.

Infact Lollies, I stayed with him and called out his name, he actually opened his eyes momentarily. He moved his limbs.

That's good news MOSH. I can't wait to kiss him.

Lollies, Haziq is really cute you know. Oh! Did I tell you that he also has two "pusar".

Dua pusar? Just like my Haziq?? (God...I cried again)

You pray for me okay?

I will...

This morning at 5:37, I got a call from MOSH. My heart skipped a bit when I saw her name on the display. You know getting a call at wee hours in the morning...I don't think it's a good time passing good news.

Baby Haziq passed away at 5:15 a.m. today.

Little Zachary was suckling for his milk to his heart content.

I kissed Zachary on his forehead. He opened his little eyes and continued suckling.

I wept.

In a way Baby Haziq is lucky. He was given the chance to taste life in this world. He lived for six days. He was loved. God loves him more.

Al Fatihah to baby Haziq.