Thursday, June 30, 2005


Pergi bakul kosong..balik penuh. Pasar malam tempat aku hari Jumaat. Aku sangat-sangat menunggunya. Sebab pertamanya aku tak payah masak. Aku pasti akan beli ayam percik kat makcik tu yang sangat sedap rasanya. Tapi aku tak bubuh gambar ayam tu pulak..sebab gambar yang aku ambik macam tak best aje. Tak justify the taste.

Lepas tu Batrisyia boleh beli balloon. Aku ambik gambar baloon tu..tetiba ada orang jerit kat aku. LOLLIES. Aku toleh. Laa member aku sekolah menengah rupanya. Aku tak jumpa dia sejak lepas SPM. Punyalah lamanya. Dia pun dah kawin. Anak dia rupa amoi habis. Pastu dia kenalkan laki dia..laaa cina, patutlah anak dia muka amoi. Member aku ni langsung tak ada ciri-ciri amoi.

Pastu orang dok peratile kerja aku ambik gambo kat pasar malam tu. Beli aje aku ambik gambar. Tak beli pun aku ambik gambar jugaklah.

Kat pasar malam, biasalah ramai yang mintak sedekah. Tapik aku tak ambik gambar pulak. Tak taulah..aku rasa macam rude pulak kalau aku ambik gambar dia orang. So forget it. Or I really should get myself an SLR with 300mm, telephoto zoom. Barulah orang tak tau aku tengah ambik gamba dia orang.

Cakap pasal tu aje..aku pi tengok kedai camera. AKu tengah eyeing camera SLR NIKON digital. Alahhh yang basic aje, dengan lens 28-70 dah dekat RM5000. Tapi dia kasi seperate flash lah..kasik power. Dia kasik tripod free gak. APa heran tripod. AKu pun ada tripod gak. In a way good bargainlah. Tak apa aku tunggu lagi..soon with RM5000 aku boleh dapat lens lagi power. AKu nak lens yang minimum 24mm-80mm and 80-300mm. Bila laki aku nak kerja ni sayang.

Apa benda aku melalut ni? Well kat pasar malam tu gerenti aku beli apam balik, air soya, air mata kucing, rojak buah dan hati ayam goreng. LAin aku beli grocery. Sayur and all.

Mainan puzzle untuk Haziq pun aku beli kat sini. Murah. Hari tu buat kapal. Ayah dia buatkan..siap ada layar babe. Kena pakai benang lelayang tu. Aku tak kosalah buat tu. Baik aku belek kamera aku ni lagi bagus. Aku ada SLR CANON EOS50 ni, tapi pakai filem. Tak mampulah aku nak pakai kamera filem lagi. So aku belek ajele lens dia. Hari tu aku nak trade in..ingat nak tukarkan dengan digital NIKON tu. Tapik brader tu sayanglah camera ni. Aku fikir betul gak tu. Tak apalah aku simpan ajele kasik kat Haziq. Itu aje harta warisan yang aku mampu.

Melalut lagi. Hari Jumaat ialah hari yang paling kenyang bagi aku. Sebab hari Jumaat ialah hari pasar malam. Tapik esok laki aku tak ada. Tak ada sapelah nak pergi pasar malam. Tak kosa aku nak pergi sorang-sorang. Berat! Lagipun aku nak bawak Jack-jack. So minggu ni aku tak makan ayam perciklah jawabnya.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005


When I got to Manchester I found myself a room in a five-roomed house. My housemates are all my new found friends, a year senior than me. We were all given a task each to ensure the smooth running of the house management. I seriously think because I am the most junior, I was given the daunting task as the Public Relation officer.

This all started during my first week stay there, when Mr. Patel, our landlord came to my house shouting about rent increase and how the girls have cheated him. My housemate was arguing with him as well. Somehow I must have said something really strong. I can't remember what it was. I am like that sometimes. When I am not thinking I can say something really strong either quick-witted one or something harsh. Now older, not wise enough, I try to refrain the latter.

Anyway, Mr. Patel stopped short. In fact everyone. Then Mr. Patel hushed down his voice and we began to discuss in a more impeccable manner. And that was the mark of my unlucky new post in the house.

Ms Lollies the Public Relation Officer I am from that day on. Any matters regarding Mr. Patel was handled by me. I remembered when he questioned me about the actual number of people in the house. I said five Mr. Patel. There are only five. He didn't believe it. There are too many shoes, he said. I had to take out all my six shoes. I have six shoes and I am not a shoe fanatic. My other hosemate has more than ten for God's sake.

Of course the frequent visit to Mr. Patel has advantages too like dinner, borrowing pots and pans and also discounts on rent during summer.

Anyway, I also have to deal with everyoene else. The Norweb guy, the TV license people, Jehovah Missionaries and many more.

So there is this one time when our gas was not working properly. So I set the appointment and the repair guy came. The funny thing about the water heater is that, it's hot temporarily. But if you are the third person trying to take a shower and is just about to rinse off your shampoo, the water turns freezing cold.

I was trying to explain this to the repairman, for when he came the water was hot. So we had to let the water run for a while until it turn cold. So there we were waiting. So I talked with him, offered some tea for that is what the Brits do. They drink tea and some custard biscuits. We talked for a while, then he said to me..

What about a hanky-panky?

I stared at him for a good few seconds, then I said,

You want a handkerchief? Oh! I don't have any, what about the kitchen tissue?

And I proceeded to get some tissues for him.

He stared back at me. He looked a bit perplexed.

Why? Kitchen tissue not good enough for you. I said.

Oh this is fine. Thank you

And he moved on with his work. No more word.

Everything is done, I said thank you, the typical Asia way. And he left.

That night, I told my housemates what he said. They, wide eyes, knock my head and exclaimed.

"I don't think Lollies is safe with any of these people. We must teach her more vocabolaries!"

Now after 13 years, thinking back..I am so thankful nothing happen.*shudder*

Monday, June 27, 2005

Friday, June 24, 2005


Today is a stench day. Not me ok? Get that thoughts away. Just around me. But the cause OK laugh. Laugh if you want.

Yesterday I bought myself some cold chocolate drink and had the drink in the car. I somehow spilled the drink on the floor. In between the red lights, I managed to dab some of the drink and promised myself that I'll get it cleaned when I got to the house. Which I forgot, of course.

This morning, as I got into the car. The overpowering smell of bad, sour, stench milk rushed out to escape for freedom from the car. Arggh the smell, they just hit your nose instantly. I thought of putting down the window, but the humid and my wild I just had to roll up the window. Well I didn't exactly roll up, I just pressed the button, you know the one on the armrest.

Each time I inhale, I had to endure the stench smell up my nostrils. I cursed myself for rushing out of the car yestarday, totally forgetting about the spilt chocolate for little JackJack, who was playing on the grass. Can you blame me for forgetting, I miss him ok.

The other thing, last Friday I bought myself a grande size hot chocolate drink from Starbucks. I drank it in the office. You'd probably knew that I was away for the past four days for a course. I didn't exactly finish the drink, you see. Today I am back in the office, and on my table is a quarterly drenched Starbucks paper cup of chocolate drink. Sour chocolate drink swarmed with ants. Permeating a smell..very similar to my car. I seriously think that my Estee Lauder - Pleasure perfume is not powerful enough against this stench.

God damn it!

I ain't buying chocolate drinks, no more.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Sneezing and Eyes

Do you know that when you sneeze, you would have to close your eyes as well. Closing your eyes is one of many automatic muscle movements you make when you sneeze. Since sneezing puts a lot of pressure on your head and respiratory system, your eyes close to protect themselves. Some people think they may even pop out if they don't close!

But this phenomenan can be dangerous. Especially when you are driving on an unfamiliar highway with medium sized traffic and everyone drives at more than 120km/h.

Ahchooo...brake! brake!

Achooo. Open eyes..errk..someone cut your way from immediate right to ge to the junction.

Ahchoo.....keep hands still

Ahchoo. Open eyes..errkk.. did I miss the junction?

If you are with me in the car, would you wish me "Bless you"?

Monday, June 20, 2005


I have been observing Zachary's routine the other day, and I wonderful it is to be a baby.

7:00 a.m. : He wakes up. Sometimes earlier sometimes later. Smothered by the Haziq and Sya (if she is up to it), by me, by his dad.

8:00 a.m. : Breakfast. Egg sandwich today, biscuits, bread, fruit pick really. Then he plays a bit. During weekdays, when Haziq and Sya are in school, he would sleep earlier.

10:00 a.m. : Take his bath and sleep for two hours.

12:00 p.m. He’d wake up..and more food. Lunch time. Then playtime with Sya.

2:00 p.m. : Haziq is back at two..more playtime for Zachary.

3:00 pm. : He would dose off again when Haziq goes to his religious school.

5:00 p.m. :Wakes up, just in time for Haziq. Happy hours! Regardless that his older siblings are not really playing with him. He would still shrill in delight.

6:30 p.m. : Then I’m back. This is the time he whines and whines. Pick me! Pick me!

7:00 p.m. :Then dinner..more playtime after that. First on everybody’s prayer mat, then on everybody’s books, then banging on the keyboard. Then he would usually get groggy sometimes at nine. I would put him to sleep. Sometimes I go to sleep.

Day in day out. Wake up, play, eat, sleep, wake up, play eat, sleep. I wish I’m a baby too.

But then this is what Zachary said to me..

Ibu, do you think it is that easy being me? I have lived in this world for a year now, and I can tell you it is not easy. I think a lot, and I mean A LOT! I can actually feel my brain cells, my neurons actually branching out in the brain. Sometimes I get dizzy with the neurons streaming and I start doing that thing that you call groggy. When I’ve exercise all my brain, ahhh yawn, I need my beauty sleep. How do ou think I can maintain my skin as soft and supple as this?

Do you remember when I was about four months old, when you first tried to feed me? And I thought what is this thing you are shoving in my mouth? I want my comforting milk!!!!! I had to reprogrammed myself, that this is good. This is call eating. Then you get me those finger foods. And you look happy because I am eating by myself. And when I tried feeding all the things I found on the floor, you said no! Ibu do you know how difficult it is for me to master the art of not putting those things up my nose?

You read to me. But when I want to read on my own all the books you are reading, you said no. Ahhh come on..I haven’t mastered my thumb yet, but I need practice right?

Sometimes you put on the TV so that you can eat with Ayah. OK I guys need time for yourself, but really what is so wrong with putting up the volume? And what is so wrong with standing right infront of the TV. All so that I can hear and see better.

You encourage me to come down from the bed myself. Okay put down my feet first and slowly let go off the grip. You would clap and clap and praise. I am happy. But when I want to go down the stairs, ALONE, unassisted you went frenzy.

Ibu, you are making me confused. Lots of decision making to make. Have a mercy to a boy like me..

Decisions like to pee the moment you take off the diapers or not?

Whether to spat out the porridge out or not? The art the exudes made are great!

Whether I should wake you up at night for more milk. I really don’t want too…but I miss you, Ibu. (bat his eyelashes)

Ibu, please, would you like to trade place?

I want to drive the car, at least.

Should I or should I not pull my sister's hair. What do you think?. Zachary three months old.

Saturday, June 18, 2005


Are we all in a state of asleep? Are we all sleep walking? Are we all delusional? Or are we all in a constant state of inattentiveness?

What will bring us back to attention?!!!

Bolt of lightning? Or death perhaps?

Please someone, wake me up!!!

Mr. Reeves, can you wake me up? Thank you.

Show us the straight way, The way of those on whom Thou hast bestowed Thy Grace, those whose (portion) is not wrath, and who go not astray. 1:6-7

Friday, June 17, 2005


Fly off Harry! Here comes Haziq Potter, the new seeker. Watch out for his new NIMBUS 06 XP. It zooms in a blink of an eye.

Ni kat belakang rumah mak mertua aku ni. Lover aku tenga panjat pokok rambutan dan si Haziq tu sepatutnya pungut buah rambutan..tapi dah dia jumpa penyapu tu...dah tak adalah nak pungut buah rambutan dah. Nenek dia bising, Haziq, simpan penyapu atok ko tu. Kat terburai kang. To this Haziq replied, ini bukan penyapu la nek, ini Nimbus. Bye nek!!!!. Pastu dia caut lari dengan penyapu tu. Nenek dia tak faham sepatah haram.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

BK 5B/1

My housing area has six sections.

Section 1, Section 2, Section 3, Section 4, Section 5, Section 6.

The sections are the phases the area is constructed. So section 1 was built first and section 6 is built later.

I live in Section 5B. There is no Section1B, 2B, 3B, 4B nor 6B. But there is 5B. I have a feeling that it is really an afterthought thing. Like,

Hey there is still a plot of land left, so, forget the primary school, forget the children’s playground. Let’s make money and build more houses here.

But we are already on with Section 6 and to name it Section 7, looks a bit off. Section 6 is further up than this land.

Silly you, what comes after 5? Surely it’s 5B

So I live in Section 5B.

Then there are the internal roads. You know the one that go to your house. If you live in Section 2, you’d probably stay in Jalan BK2/1 or BK2/2 or BK2/5.

Since I live in Section 5B, the road leading to my house is called Jalan BK5B. It is the first road so it’s called Jalan BK5B/1.

Some other internal road within Section 5B is called Jalan BK5B/1B. An some internal road in BK5 is called Jalan BK5/1B.

Are you confused already?

Imagine the postman.

Nearly every week, I received letters address to addresses of such

Jalan BK5/1B
Jalan BK 5B/1B
Jalan BK 5/1
Jalan BK 4/5 (this is just plain error of the postman)

Can we have other names for the streets, please? All these numberings can only be understood by the master planner. The one who sees the big picture. The one who sees the whole forest rather than a tree. And no one can understand planners mind you. They are strange breed of people.

My tree, dear Mr. postman is 5B/1, okay?

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Holidaying in Port Dickson

The last school holiday, I took my kids to Port Dickson, which is really the cheapest holiday thet I can give them. And that need heavy coaxing from my dad the ever holiday maker pulak too. Well, Port Dickson is Port Dicksonlah. The sun, the beach, the sun, the beach, the pool, water, water and the sun again. It's not the best beach in Malaysia but it's one of the nearest and most developed. It gets cheaper when you are using the company's condo. He he.

My children had their time of their life. Holiday with children is basically getting wet and splashy preferably the whole day. They really don't care about other things. Mandi sampai hitam pun tak apa. I notice lately with the kids my holiday is not the kind of holiday I used to have ten years ago. Sigh..

Anyway, at least I went to one interesting place in Port Dickson. CAPE RACHARDO. Do you know Cape Rachardo? Well Cape rachardo is basically Tg. Tuan about 2km from Port Dickson itself. Tapik yang peliknya ianya dalam jajahan Melaka bukan Negeri Sembilan.

Tg. Tuan hosts the oldest lighthouse of Malaysia. Built in the 16th century by the Portuguese when they invaded Tanah Malaya dulu.

MalaysiaThe notice says : Tanjung Tuan Lighthouse is the oldest lighthouse in Malaysia. It stands on the highest point of cape and was built in 1860 after the original was destroyed during a war in the 16th century. It is believed that Parameswara, the first Sultan of Malacca, was buried in the area.

Many historically important events have taken place in th seas around the cape. It was the site of a fierce battle between the Dutch and Portuguese armadas in 1606, which resulted in the sinking of four warships, including the famous Dutch man-of-war, the Nassay.

The forests of Tanjung Tuan, which was also known as Cape Rachardo, boasts diverse flora and fauna, including 54 species of birds. It is a stopover for over 300,000 migrating birds annually.

Do you know that Tg. Tuan is a meeting point for raptors migrating throughout Asia and Australia. Tg. Tuan is the shortest point to Sumatera at 38km. Some people can swim at that length and also get Dato'ship.

MalaysiaThe notice says : Raptors Species

Eagle, hawks, Buzzards, Kites, Falcons

Tanjung Tuan – Favourite crossing point from Sumatera and March (1800-2000 birds arrived in one day)


MalaysiaThe notice says:Tanjung Tuan Wildlife Sanctuary

Area of 60.7hectares

Coastal Dipterocarp Hill Forest which still exist in Malaysia,

54 species of wild birds classified into local and migratory birds and 3 species of primate.

From ecology view, scientist believed that Tanjung Tuan is the bridge for the transfer of flora and fauna from Mainland Asia to Indonesia land,

This is an important route place for the migration of birds from Asia Continent to the Soth and vice versa (Southward and Northward migration).

MalaysiaThe notice board says : Tanjung Tuan wildlife sanctuary trails

Air pusar
Terumbu karang
Monkey bay
Pelantar pemerhati
Rintis paya bakau

I really wanted to go to that Air Pusar but sigh, it's a long walk and with kids..hmmm susah.





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Tuesday, June 14, 2005

From Bangsar to Home after work

From top left to right
1. My office space
2. Narrow corridor to leave the office
3. Our free drink dispensing machine
4. Office reminder to punch card
5. I am punching my card

2nd row left to right
1. Walking to my car park?
2. Batu dalam kurungan
3. Nama jalan
4. Kon keselematan
5. Kereta

3rd. row left to right
1. Steering
2. Sprint Kerinchi
3. Bebas tangan
4. Bawak 20km/h
5. Jam kat merge KL-Seremban highway.

4th row left to right
1. Side mirror
2. Stadium Bkt. Jalil
3. Stadium Bkt. Jalil 2
4. Stadium Bkt Jalil 3
5. Stadium Bkt. Jalil 4

5th row left to right
1. VIP entrance
2. 80km/h pulak
3. Jalan kosong

ulangan esok hari

Monday, June 13, 2005


This month is the month for fathers. I will join the hype and will hopefully give justice to my father.

I call my father Ayah. Ayah means daddy in my language.

First of all, if there is someone to be blamed for me not reading a romance book, then it is my Ayah. I remembered when I was 13, I was reading the Sweet Dreams and Sweet Valley High books, and he took it away from me. He said no reading of such books. They will do nothing to you except corrupt your mind and take you to la-la land. I had to sneak at night to read those books. La-la land? Enid Blyton is full of la-la land Ayah.

He was a strict man, as much as I can remember during my teen life. My curfew was at 7 p.m. I remembered getting some good beatings for coming home late with no good reasons. Oh! Yes! He was strict.

He was also the reason that I never had a boyfriend during my teen life. He follows me nearly everywhere I went. He even spied on me. All datings, letters and phones must be kept hush hush with the help of my ever supportive friends.

When I came back from my university days, he saw loads of pictures of my then boyfriend (now lover). My lover with his long hair and all.(Yum! Yum!) He asked me, whether this young man is serious with me. I got shivers by that question. I think I said, I suppose so.

My lover was still in England then. He must have impressed my dad, because soon after that, my lover sent his parents to masuk meminang. Walhalnya I didn't tell him anything. I ingat nak enjoy dulu. Now my father adores his only son in law. They are the best of friends.

My father has somewhat a youthful look in him. Just look at his photos during his wedding. He was 25 then. But I think he looks, what…seventeen? And my mum is actually taller than he is. In Malay culture, purportedly, when the wife is taller than the husband, it indicates the prospect of good tidings. Well..they had me. What more can any parents ask?

Even now, at 60, my father looks younger than his age. Whenever I am with him, people will always think that he is actually my brother. I am not even sure whether I should be happy for him or actually feel insulted. I mean, do I look that old?

My father’s tips to young age, he said, is to have a pure heart. Do not have malice in your heart. Be good to your parents. I can’t tell you just how much I hate listening to this when I was a child. I felt that he thinks I have a bad heart. I have so much malice in my heart and that I will disobey my parents one day. But now I am beginning to understand what he is saying. Growing old does make you understand your parents better, I think.

My father always put his parents at the utmost priority. Regardless of what. Treat your parents well, and you will be save in both worlds, he said. There was bad vibes among my grandparents and my family when I was young, but regardless, my dad stooped low and kisses his parents foot. Forgive me if I have done wrong o’ parents. I remembered irking him for that. But my father said, whoever is at wrong is for God to judge. My responsibility in this world is to my parents. I am not even sure whether I can be at par with him, when he can forgive that easily.

My father is also a very people person. Nearly everyone can warm up to him. He is a warm person. He knows nearly everyone in my neighbourhood. And he doesn’t even live here.

When I was young, I hated nearly everything that my father said. Mainly because I was rebellious.

He loves Elvis. God! I had to listen to his hundreds of Elvis collection..I nearly hate that guy..Elvis I mean.

I hated his obsessiveness on the hifi system. He is forever doing something.

I hated his idea of forgiveness. I mean, people have done bad…so why be good to them.

I hated him spying over me.

I didn’t like his idealogy.

But now..I can slowly see his point of view..particularly on be good to your parents..regardless. And I can understand why he spied on me..I have children of my own too now. I have worries.

And also, now I don’t hate Elvis that much. Well…he was OK.

I also love my Ayah.

If you know him, you’d probably love him too.

Friday, June 10, 2005


Let me bore you dear..

1. How many books do you own.

Hmm I have never counted my books. Does anyone ever count their books in the first place? I have many books. Shelves and shelves of them. Now many books everywhere. I think the question should be, what kind of books do you like..really. So I’ll change the question, because I like it okay. I’m going to change it. You have a problem with that. Huh? Huh? He he.. Maybe you should also ask me about books I hate..but nahhh I’m not going to write that one.

The thing is I like books on history or people who made it into history. I don’t really read books about life, romance and sorts. Sometimes I don’t even buy books which are “in”. My “in” books are not “in” to many people.

I like books about prophets of sorts. The last one I reread was Kisahsul Anbiya’(stories of the prophets and prophecies). This one is written in Jawi (Arabic fonts) the old Jawi. This is the kind of book I like to read. When I have the time I frequent the Pekan Buku bookstore in University of Malaya. They have good books sporadically placed there. I bought simple books by Mohamad Yasin Owadally-Short stories of the adventures of the historical prophets and others.

OK I like histories, folklores and myths which have truth in it. If you want to buy me book, buy me historical books of heroes and adventures. My lover bought me the book The Perished Nations by Harun Yahya. I love it.

If you want to kill me, buy me a romance book. Having said that I do like classic books. I love Daphne du Maurier. Jamaica Inn is an adventure book, seamed with a bit of romance, not too much..just a bit. I liked it so much, I even visited Jamaica Inn in Devon. That much I like and imagine myself at the breathtaking cliffs and watch out for pirates of the Land’s End. Errkk digress. That, I like. And starting from that I begin to read classics. I read Frankestien – Mary Shelley’s and can’t help feeling sad for the monster. This book is really an introduction to DNA.

And of course the rest of romance classics do come in the picture, you know stuffs by Jane Austen, Bronte sisters and sorts. This one I give lee way. I like them.

And I think..ehem..ehem Lord of the Ring sounds like the mix story of Prophet Solomon..and Moses and David, if you ask me.

Tag me again in five years time..I might be a changed person. Time does change our way of thinking and perspective too.

2. What is the last book you bought

Funny that I am tagged by the berrybear himself. My last book was Animal Farm by George Orwell :-P. I can’t help laughing. Read his entry again and you know why. Maybe I should write about this book in the BookLover group..but can you write about a book as classic as this?

3. What is the last book you re-read.

I actually like to reread. It gives me new perspective of things. The last book I reread is RUMI – Poet and Sage.

4. The 5 books you would take with you to a desert island.

I have no problem..because in the desert island I happen to be stuck in has this huge old, dusty library like the one in the Lord of The Rings old, old basement full of sripts and suddenly I can read Hebrew and read the Dead Sea Scroll, there was even the Tabut where the tablets of the ten commandments still intact there. Drool, drool. You archeologists out there, I know what happen to the Shroud of Turin.

Dead Sea Scroll, Tablets of Ten commandments, Shroud of Turin..all in my hand..MINE!!!

I can also read Arabic and translate the great work of the philosophers. I can tap the mind of Phytogras and read the work of Nostra Damus and understand his true prophecy, no more guessing, no more speculating. I will shout Eureka because too much knowledge here in the desert island.

Then there, stuck there was also Ibn Sina (Avicenna)..he build me a great palace full of secret passages. Behind the palace was this enchanting palace, with elves and magic, and tinkerbells and scents and an edible house.

I also have a friend..the beautiful Queen Nefertiti..she had loads of makeups, blue kohl eye shadow, perfume to seduce and all. Now what I need is a man to seduce with.

Not to mention the Da Vinci dude, yeah he was there and he will tell me, whether he is truly a gay guy. Or whether he really adores woman. Then I’ll show him my Self Portrait too and he, in return, will be so much at awe at my creation. Then he will draw a picture of me, wearing this necklace, only this. He will probably build some flying machines and we will be guinea pigs, trying to cheat death with them. And I told him, Dude Vinci, you really should do something with your beard put this wax on

Finally there was also Salehuddin Al Ayubi. He will recite poems after poems and will tell me, how the heck did he unite the people back then and conquered the holy land. How and how..

Oh ok, my likings are a bit strange..

5. Name 5 people you are tagging.

I don’t think I’m going to tag anyone. If you want go ahead and do this. I like to read them.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005


I've been away for a short holiday since last Friday. I have many things to write, pictures to upload and download. But for the moment..all those have to wait. There is another pressing matter to be written here.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Friends and foes, Zachary is now officially a one-year old boy!! Yes he is last 7th June. I was away, so this is sort of a belated wish. Ibu loves you.

It feels like yesterday that I gave birth to this boy. (cliche huh?) Zachary, like all my kids, was an overdue boy. The thing is, he was overdue for a week, with no sign of coming out at all. No dilation, no show, no pain, no nothing. I had to agree with the doctor to have me induced, thus to induce the baby to come out.

I was induced sometime at 4:00p.m., and begin to feel the pain sometime at 5:00, but my cervics are not ready yet. The nurse kept asking me whether I wanted epidural. I felt like telling her to bugger off. I wanted full control of the whole process. Don’t be too surprise. If you know me, you will know that I am a serious control freak. That’s why I hate being induced. If you must know also, I am a sadist. Oh yes. I love pain. I sleep on a bed of nails.

At 7:30 in the evening, my dilation was at 5 cm. Full dilation, in case you are wondering is 10cm. At 8:05p.m. Zachary came out. In other words, my cervics took three and half hours to open up from 0-5 cm, it gained momentum and only half an hour to further open up from 5-10cm. My labour process always go frantic after 5cm. Even the baby works best at the last minute when pressure is mounting. Good children. I didn’t suffer much during labour..Alhamdullilah.

My lover considers Zachary a very special child. Not that the first two are not. They all are. But my lover was with me all throughout my confinement days (dia tak ada kerja dah masa ni. Ada blessing jugak kan?). Since my mum was not (and still is not) very lover assisted me in bathing the baby and all the hard work. All I need to is prepare myself to feed the child. Don’t you just love to watch macho man tenderly taking care of a wobbly little being? I find that very, very alluring. Those strong hand holding a vulnerable child. Just another side of the man I know.

Zachary, my little darling are lucky to be born and found yourself surrounded with a brother and a sister to boot. Who smothers you everyday. Parents who give you their undivided attention. Both grandparents on both sides. They all adore you. You are a lucky dude.

Zachary has a mixed of Haziq’s and Batrisyia looks. Best of both worlds. Making him even more special.

I pray that you will be a successful person, in both world, darling..both world.

Ibu loves you for one whole year and many more years to come.


Monday, June 06, 2005

Sekarang ni Cuti Sekolah

Sekatang ni cuti sekolah, dua minggu. Aku tak tau pun cuti ni dua minggu.Aku ingat satu minggu aje sebenanya. Siang-siang lagi parents aku dah datang rumah aku. Belum cuti sekolah lagi dia orang dah datang.

Anak-anak aku memang exhilarated bila dia orang datang. Termasuklah anak-anak jiran aku (Tak termasuk Jilan Constluction aku tu). Sebab parents aku suka bawak dia orang pi playground sampai ke Taman Bukit Jalil pun dia angkut semua budak-budak kecik tu. Sekali angkut adalah dekat lima budak kecik. Aku pun tak serajin tu. Parents aku tu rajin betul melayan, walaupun mak aku tu jalan hencot-hencot..tapi demi cucu dia, dia gahkan jugak.

Anyway lepas tu parents aku "kidnap" anak-anak aku kecuali Zachary balik kampung. Kalau tak pasal aku menyusukan dia tu, dah lama dia angkut sekali agaknya. Masa dulu dia orang ambik anak aku sekejap, aku menangis macam nak rak. Aku memang tak biasa jauh dengan anak-anak aku. Kalo aku pergi outstation yang lama sikit, aku mesti cari jalan untuk bawak budak-budak tu. Tapi anak-anak aku yang dua orang tu dah besar dan sekolah so dia orang yang nak sangat pergi dengan atuk dia. Atuk dia mana geti marah bebudak tu. Time aku kecik-kecik dulu, aku selalu gak kena marah. Tak aci!!!

Anyway aku sekarang kat kampung aku kat MooWor. Nak ambik anak aku partly dan seterusnya bawak dia orang pi PD. The cheapest holiday I can give them.

Sepanjang anak-anak aku tak ada kat rumah, Zachary lah yang paling aku kesiankan sekali. Zachary tu dah biasa kena gomol dengan abang, akak dia, selalu orang kecoh-kecoh keliling dia, lepas tu bila bebudak tu tak ada, dia pun jadi senyap aje. Tidur tak lena, asyik merengek aje, nak mintak dukung aje. Aku rasa aku kena kasik guidelinelah kat parents aku tu. Boleh ambik tapi tak boleh lama-lama.

Aku sampai rumah parents aku, kena smothered by kisses from Batrisyia. Ahhh Sya is so perempuan. Si Haziq tu attack aku dengan cerita computer game baru atok dia beli. Aku yang boring...aku nak pakai computerlah!!!! Dah lama aku tak memblog ni. Zachary happy gila tengok abang akak dia. Bising mulut dia. Dia gak happy tengok atuk dia.

Ayah aku memang ada this thing with kids. Budak semua suka dia. Dia orang bukan nak kat mak aku sangat pun. Aku pun tak tau apasal.

Aku borak-borak dengan Batrisyia. Aku cita kat dia..Sya, sian tau JackJack tu masa Sya tak ada. Dia miss Sya. Sya miss JackJack tak?

Miss. Sya miss semua. (Kissess and kisses)

Lain kali Sya janganlah pergi lama sangat. Sian Ibu, sian Jack. Dia senyap aje masa Sya dengan abang tak ada. (aku memang cari pasal dengan Sya ni).

Sya pergi tak lama pun. Ibu yang datang lambat.

Sya pergi lama. SIkit lagi Zachary tak kenal Sya

Lepas tu Sya jadi bengkak. But instead of nampak sedih and tunjuk emotion kat aku..dia jadi bengang and marah. Dia buat tak tau aje kat aku. Masam aje muka dia tu. "I DON'T WANT FRIEND YOU!!! (aku tak suka phrase ni..grammatically wrong)

Aku rasa dia ni, bila orang cuba buat dia rasa guilty for not doing something, or for doing something for that matter, instead of trying to please that person..dia akan retaliate. Partly dia mungkin tak rasa dia patut please that person just because that person want to be pleased. But when she wants to please you, she will do it, at her own accord. And when she pleases you with full sinverity she will go at length doing it. If she has monetory of her own, she will spend it on you. When she has the time, she'll spend it on you. Her eyes, ears, thoughts and all. But when she feels that people are mocking her, obligating her of sort, she'll feel repulsive and begin to retaliate. This is when you are going to lose her. Then slowly she builds up her rage mixed with guilt which can be volcanic.

And that was precisely what happen when I interrogated her.

Ehem...perangai siapalah yang dia ikut tu agaknya?

Aku rasa akulah future nemesis puteri aku yang seorang tu

Friday, June 03, 2005

Not a Sentimental Person

Dear Friend,

If you must know, I am not a sentimental person. I don't crave for long lost friend. The parable,Abscence makes the heart growth fonder, doesn't really apply to me. But not exactly Out of sight, out of mind either.

I do think of you every now and then.

I wonder whether you are super busy in your life, yeah I do think of that.

I wonder if you are getting along fine with your friends.

I wonder if they will see you for the wholesome person that you are.

I wonder if your family is well. Your kids and all.

I wonder alot.

But I don't easily type friendly chit-chat emails to ask how your kids are doing. Nor do I send sms every other day to ask about the game you had. Nor do I make calls often to gossip about current politics in my office.

Do you at times feel that it's always you who initiates?

If you don't ask, I never bother?

All your other friends email you all the time?

All your other friends give you a call now and then?

All your other friends know the happenings of your life?

And all I do is have a one and half hour lunch with you...practically every week.

I am just not a sentimental person.

But don't judge me bad. Please don't.

Don't jump into your pool of suspicions. Don't assume things, with me. Don't compare me with your friends. You know I am not the same with them.

I am just not a fast enough a person. I call at the very last minute, with no intention of malice. No other intention and no other reason other than not used to it. If that is a good enough reason for you. I am not used to doing that. And I apologise.

Sometimes I don't even know what to say...I am not that good a girlfriend. I am a lazy girlfriend.

But please, don't make me take away my sincerity.

Because sometimes...I easily do that.