Friday, September 30, 2005

Test your senses in Monochrome

Rekindling an old post.

Can you feel the churn in her tummy as the swing gets higher?

Can you feel the breeze on your face, ruffling you hair?

Can you smell the prawns?

Itching already?

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

The Art of Apologising

When you know that you have angered someone, a genuine anger, the best thing you should do is apologise. Apologise must be done sometime after the heat of the moment. Not too soon, as the heat may blind the angered. But not too late either, that the anger have eventually turned to bitter hatred.

Please please don't delay dally for it will only make things akward. Regardless you think she is going to eat you up. (I'm using she here just to make reference easier. Nothng to related to anyone dead or alive or undead). Even if she does, finally both of you know where the situation stands. And may both of you rest in peace.

Try oh please try, to start the whole apologising thing first. For obvious reason of course.

And when you apologise, do do mean what you say. Win her heart. Plead sorry. Not beg, just plead. Be sincere. Look her in the eye. Regardless you think you are right. You need to calm her first. Utmost important. For her scorn is worst than hellfire.

Do not! And I repeat do not intermission it with your justification, your state of condition, your other friends, your atok, your nenek, the pokok and all that. It's not about you! It's about her heart. All these intermission are signals that you are trying to avoid the issue altogether.

Do not! In the process, make her feel like she is in the dock.

You are in the dock at the moment.

Calm her.
Make her believe that you are sincerely sorry.

For she can tell.

When she is calm, then only..again depending on the situation can you



explain your situation.


when she start debating too much

listen to her (after all you are the one at wrong)

when she is ready to listen, explain yourself.

You'll never know, she might end up feeling shit of the whole situation and in fact seek for your forgiveness instead.

However, I feel there is something missing in this whole thing.

Your rambling of yourself, your story of your small car, your story of your car made into sardine. your story that you are not ditching me, of you feeling hurt of me being angry at you because you lied to me in the first place.

What is the missing factor?

Could it be the lack of sincerity?

Why am I still sad?

I think brader, I penatlah jadi yang forgiving ni. I ingat I nak jadi bitch balik. At least I don't become a softee.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005


Oh Jacko Buddy
My cutey number three
Ibu is panicky
Ibu has report
To finish up
So please don’t retort

Do do sleep tight
All through the night
Do not get up
No to eyes wide

I am in a panic mode these days. I have this mega project that is in the process of report writing. The dateline is end of this week. On Monday the 3rd October, there will be an semi mega presentation of the whole project.

And I am still typing the reports away frantically.

I have this premonition that I won't be able to finish it and have it bind this coming Friday.

I have this premonition that my head hangs on to thin slicey thread.

So I brought work back home. Determine! Determine to type it off the whole night and some part of the morning.

But my boy just doesn't pity me. None at all.

Zachary demands to sleep at 9, but only go to full sleep at 10. In the dark and the cool room, he finally sleep suckling along with his mama.

Yes, people I slept too. *hangs head in shame*

My lover chuckles.
he he he,
so much saying that you are busy.
But you are busy sleeping,
I can see.

Sarcasm is not in mister.
I have boobs
And everyone wants a piece of it!
So stop your bloop
For I don't appreciate it

Woke up!
Ah! Report!
Must do it!
Must do it now!

Only to be stopped by Jack2 wailing.
It doesn't help that
his nose is stuffy,
making him groggy
and all he wants is
to suckle and
a lot of huggy

He is asleep now
Time to get up
type type type
clickety click
Sometimes checking out the blog.
Momentum gathers
Mind is not clog
I am excited
Ideas rush in


Jack Jack!

Is it milk that he wants
Or the stuffy nose that he has
Or just my warmth that he thrive

But I can't sleep the whole morning.
I have twink twink
My head is going zing zing
But the report?
Agghhh don't ask..

dateline + stuffy nose baby = deadline

If I stop blogging after 3rd October, you know what happen.

On another note
In the meantime, I will continue blogging during my report break. For there is such a thing. A report break I mean

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Muzium Angkatan Tentera Darat, Port Dickson

I went to Muzium Angkatan Tentera Darat Port Dickson last UPSR holiday.

Tempatnya, pastilah di Port Dickson. Kat tepi jalan aje dekat-dekat dengan army camp. You will see a big army plane by the side of the road. It is free for all. It is closed on Monday and Friday. I went on Monday mula-mula only to find it closed. Haziq was devastated because he was all excited about going to the museum. And I thought it will do him good. After all this is another activity in Port Dickson rather than the pool, sand and beach.

We went at about 12:00 noon. The sun was scorching. Man, was I tanner than usual. We walked around the rows of cannons, tanks, locomotive and vehicles used during war.

And of course the children would love to fiddle everything. They went up the cannon, helicopter and some armoured vehicle. I am sorry I don't know the technical name for them.

Jalan punya jalan around the complex, and I thought ini aje ke kat muzium ni, automotif aje. Sampailah pusing satu building colonial army camp tu. Adusss berpeluh-peluh jadinya.

Orang tak ramai, my family including my parents and adalah tiga orang budak sekolah. So we were priviliged to be entertained by one of the museum staff who is also a mat tiarap (askar). Which made the visit more fruitful. We heard a lot of unsolicited insider stories.

Amazingly that is not all in this museum. I saw the thing watchamacallit? The metal ventilation thing yang pusing-pusing orang selalu letak kat roof untuk buang heat tu. I saw it kat atas jalan. So I asked ada apa kat bawah, hoping that ada bunker peluru or something. Then he said ada replika tunnel Parti Komunis Malaya. The one in Betong Thailand.

So we dengan excitednya pergilah tunnel tu. The actual entrance kat tunnel tu tak adalah sekemas yang ada kat museum ni sebab yang tu orang gali, yang ni, eh orang jugaklah gali, tapi pakai machine.

The tunnel in the museum is 142m long. (I think the original is 1km long). A trip through this tunnel would leave a lasting impression on the visitors on the tribulation and hardship of the army personnel in countering the CPM (Communist Part of Malaya) threat. Yang bestnya ada lover aku sekali sebab my lover is so into insurgencies history and kemerdekaan stuff. So he was excited looking at the actual food dump container there. Whereas aku tengok sanitary pads yang dia orang buat dengan belt and cotton. OMG! Haziq pulak excited tengok surgery room tu. Maybe the fact that ada bloodied manequin there. Jack2 was just happy to practice his walk.

But going through the tunnel brings shudder to one and you would appreciate peace because war is difficult and survival is thin.

Genuine artefacts, graphic panels, diorama, information kiosk and LCD panel shows are placed along the tunnel.

Seriously aku tak sangka puak canggih jugak museum ni. The LCD panels are nicely done, quite tasteful and very IT gitu. Pakai touch button style. Language is both Malay and English.

Pastu ada lagi stuff in the building. History of independance, zaman kesultanan Melaka, colonial time, cerita askar melayu, zaman Jepun dan duit pisangnya, angkatan tentera, communist party. Not necessarily in that order.

Outside they put up the jambatan bergantung thing. Ooohh I love his wobbly jambatan bergantung. I thought of scaring the kids by shaking it while they walk. But instead it's my helper who shrieked out for help. Then the kids joined shaking the bridge to my helper's dismay.

Verdict of the place : Seriously an interesting museum. It brings out the patriotism in me and keinsafan. Very informative. Well displayed. I hope it will be maintained well.

I also would like to propose, how lah eh, can anyone suggest who I should write to. I should have asked them the other day. I proposed that they make a bigger promotion on this museum. Partcularly during the month of Merdeka. Promote aggressively to Kementerian Pendidikan, schools, colleges, universities and the public in general. Maybe een the penagih dadah yang dah nak tamat graduan. Biar dia tau orang merdeka bukan nak suruh dia hisap dadah. I don't think ramai yang tau or even interested nak tau. Marketlah sikit.

And also I hope they have an information board masa nak masuk tu, so I know and can plan which one to visit first. Confusing sikit.

Sayang kalau the effort is not recognised. Sesungguhnya ianya boleh membangkitkan semangat.

Saya juga ingin mengambil kesempatan di sini, untuk meminta kita semua memberi sedekah Al-Fatehah or say a prayer for our past heroes who have sacrificed their life in the name of our country and in the name of God. May Allah bless them.

edited to add

Muzium in telah dirasmikan oleh DYMM SPB Yang di-Pertuan Agong Tuanku Syed Sirajuddin Ibni Al-Marhum Tuanku Syed Putra Jamalullail. In the actual lingo is beliau telah berkenan mencemar duli telah merasmikan Muzium Tentera Darat bertempat di Pusat Latihan Asas Tentera Darat (PUSASDA), Port Dickson, Negeri Sembilan pada hari Selasa 28 Jun 2005 jam 9.00 pagi.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Mushy lah Aku Ni Kekadang

I had a lot of lunches these week. For three possible fact. Numero Uno - my beday baru lepas, so ada yang nak buat post celebration. Second - the fact that aku akan pergi Qatar (entah bila visa nak siap tak tau) and ketiga - nak dekat bulan puasa, so kena munch-munch now.

So yesterday, after lunching with a few hot gucci mamasa at One Utama, I drove back in the rain. Cats and dogs, I tell you. In the car alone, I suddenly realise, I might as well enjoy this rain because there is hardly rain at all in Qatar. Snow storm, mengikut report yang aku baca, are very frequent. Kat sana jugak tak ada source air kecuali air laut dari Persian Gulf yang memisahkan Peninsula Arab dengan Iran. Ahh cooling rain. I am so going to miss you. I snapped a picture, then I turned to my right. There was the Sultan Salahuddin buiilding there. And I thought of another friend. Kat situ ada spastic centre. And my friend ni ada buat vooluntarily work there. That is just so noble.

Aku juga very affected kalau aku rasa ada orang marah aku. Dan aku memang banyak songeh sebab despite being an impromptu person, I do get nervous kalau benda yang lambat especially bila time office hours.

Dan aku juga ada sikit bengang kalau ko dah janji nak keluar lepas tu lagi lima minit aku call lepas tu ko kata ko tak boleh keluar sebab kerja banyak lepas tu tengah-tengah aku jalan nak ambik kereta parking aku terserempak dengan ko tengah drive kereta nak keluar.

That leaves a big bruise on my ego okay? Big bruising ego I have here. I know ko rasa akan sangat lambat kalau ko keluar dengan aku, but I appreciate you said that than telling me in a sad voice, garnering my sympathy, yang ko ultra busy.

Yes this rain is affecting me. I drove along the familiar roads in PJ and felt like stopping and feel like talking to familiar faces and just sit down together, quiet chat perhaps.

Or I feel like sitting by a lake, anything with water, alone and just stare out the sky, and smell the grass after the rain , and feel the cooling breeze on my face. *Sigh* Aku ni mushy lah kekadang. I am going to miss all of these. Me driving, alone, carefree, things I know, people I like.

Apa aku ngarut ni?

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Berkepit di Celah Ketiak Mak

Literally tanslated into, “under your Mummy’s Armpit.

This parable is usually meant for adults who are still manja with their mummies. It’s meant as cynical. Like you cannot be apart from your mummy. Kiranya macam kalau ada member-member nak ajak pi party ka apa ka, lepas tu orang tu jawab, tak bolehlah, nak balik kampung.Maka frasa ini bolehlah digunakan dengan jayanya “Nak kepit celah ketiak mak lah tu”. Walaupun tak adalah orang tu nak duduk bawak ketiak mak dia betul-betul pun.

Only that I have children of my own, that I can really experience whereabout this parable come from. Or itu cuma theori aku yang bukanlah pengkaji bahasa, tapi just someone yang observe sikit-sikit apa yang aku nampak within dalam gelas yang aku duduk ni.

You see I breastfeed all my children. Thank Allah for his blessings that I can breasfeed them. It’s something that I pray hard on.

Bila menyusukan budak, sambil baring, kita baringlah on our side. Si kecik comel pun sama jugak. Then pasal container susu tu is in such a position, dia suckle bawah tangan kita, my arms over his head. Dan di bawah lengan kita itulah si kecik comel baring, betul-betul bawah ketiak. Pastu dah habis satu container, pusing pulak side lain, still bawah ketiak kita.

I guess this positions give about that if you are so manja with your mum, you are really cuddling under her armpit. Kita suka tau moment-moment macam ni. Dia nyonyot susu, mata macm stim aje nak tidur, kita usap kepala dia, play with his hair, cium and inhale his smell. Ahhhh the bliss of having a baby. This is the moment that all mummies cherish, at least kitalah.

And the child doesn’t even mind whether your armpit smells or you have not shaven it. They just love cuddling under your armpit. Kalau tak menyusu pun, dia suka saja-saja duduk bawah ketiak. This position gives him warmth and security. Imagine the small hands hugging you and you popok-popok bontot dia. How secure can that be?

So kita rasa macam tulah parable “Berkepit celah ketiak mak” comes about. What do you think?

Now, as an adult, of course I don’t do that with my mum. No "berkepit celah ketiak mak" for me. I’d rather go to my lover’s. And smell the pheromones.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Impromptu No More!!

I used to be an impromptu person. I don't do plans much.

When I feel like going about on a weekend break during my study years, I would just rent a car and drive all the way from Manchester to Bath, to see how the Romans take their bath, and further to beautiful Plymouth and straight to the dramatic Land's End. Because I like the not planning part.

When I went for a week breakaway in Turkey, I delayed my return flight, rented a car and travelled to the Asian side of Turkey all the way from Istanbul to Ankara to Pamukalle and Kappadokya and back through Troy and Istanbul. Because I like the not planning part.

During my first many months as newlyweds, my lover and I had to stay apart. He worked in Malacca and myself in KL. On my lonely nights after depression at work, I would drive after work to Malacca to see him and drive back to KL the morning after. Because, because hey the nights are cold alone ok?

But those are the times when what I do, does not affect anyone. Now, no more of such impromptus and jumping about whenever I want. Things must be planned around Haziq schools, Kumon class, music class, silat class and not to mention my meetings - planned and unplanned. *Sigh*

So the the other day, when the Malaysian Modbloggers decided to have another gathering on the 17th, I merrily said okay. Then the school had to announce that there is replacement class for Haziq on that day. I was somewhat annoyed with these replacement classes.Why didn't they spread the classes earlier so not to cramp up on the last month and on the fasting month? Do they not check the calender earlier?

Anyway the gathering had to be done at 3:00 to accommodate this.

Next, it was Haziq's silat (Malay Martial arts) class. The Malay Warrior told us that Haziq has a demo and grading to do on the 17th night. Only for us to be told at the very last minute (11:30 on Friday night to be exact), that the whole thing will actually be in the morning and the whole afternoon of the 17th. The gathering day!!!

I was depressed the night before. I didn't know what to do. Immediate strategies have to be taken. So we decided, that my lover would have to send Haziq, while myself and Sya and Jack2 are to go to the gathering. I couldn't possibly skip the gathering now can I? After all it is for me. That was heartbreaking.

Haziq skipped his school that day. I was out of the mood the whole morning. I texted my lover so many times, telling him to tell the teacher to expedite Haziq if possible. What did my lover do? He kept numb. Grrr

Somehow later in the morning, while I was chatting on the YM with [u-primarybasic], my lover called to say that the whole ceremony will actually finish at 1. Yipppeee!! I can go to the gathering!! And so did the whole family!!

And that is how much I can plan nowadays.

Haziq had to taste the sour asam jawa (tamarind).
He didn't finish the water he was supposed to drink, so they poured it on him.

In his act.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

The Past 33 Years

You know, I don't remember anything that happened 33 years ago. What was I like as a baby or even as a child. But then who does?

All I can see are records of myself saying a baby girl was born in the Government Hospital of Kluang on the 18th September 1972 at four in the evening. I was told by my mum that I was an easy baby. She didn't have much trouble with me.

She told stories of me cutting myself with the kitchen's knife over and over again. The over and over agin is the story that she repeated for so many years, not me cutting myself up. She always said this after telling people that I am an easy child to have.

Or when I swallowed up some slug like creatures. Eiiyyyuuu!

I don't remember any of this, of course. When was it that I start remembering things? I remembered my first day in school. I sat beside a terribly naughty girl who ended up being still the naughtiest girl throughout my entire 6 years in school. Just my luck. I remembered her talking so loudly and often got me talking back to her. I was trying to keep quiet most of the time and only that one time I spoke, the teacher would look up and looked at me and told me to be quiet. Happy memories, those days.

I went through my teenage life as a rebel. Even though now at 33, I didn't know what I was rebelling about. But yes I do remember some teachers I don't like. I always have problem with teachers. The only reason that I always squeeze myself from trouble is my good grades. And apparently many teachers who do like me are influential teachers. So I am sort of saved.

If there is one life time that I'd like to repeat, not to change, but to relive again is when I was in my first two years as a universty student. I was away from my parents and I didn't have a real boyfriend. It is in fact, bliss years. I was free to travel anywhere I want. I was my own king. And travel I did. Inter railing, back packing, camping, car renting...ahhh wonderful free youthful life.

But I don't want to change anything for what I have now. I am a wife and also a mistress to my lover. A mother to my three healthy children.

I think in general, I have mostly the things I want. Well I still do not own a bungalow in Si Hartamas and flashy car and what nots..but I am contented.

So at 33 years old..I can smile and be happy and am thankful to God even looking at the people in my household eating up the chocolate ice cream cake I got for myself today.

I have a lot to be thankful for.

Indeed I have.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Central Market Part II

Aku sambung baliklah cerita Central Market ni. Anyway, masa aku mula-mula kerja dulu aku kena naik dua bas. Satu bas mini from Mindef sampailah ke Bangkok Bank pastu aku jalan kaki sikit sampai Bus Stang Klang naik bas Intra Kota. Fuyo bas baru kat KL ni. Nampak so posh. Drebar pun pakai uniform macam kat UK. Aku naik bas no. 5 sampai Bangsar. Balik pulak aku naik apa-apa bas yang lalu Central Market kat Jalan Bangsar tu. Dari, eh penatlah tulis Central Market Central Market. Aku tulis CM lah. Dari CM aku naik bas balik ke Mindef. Macam tulah hari-hari sampai aku dari pindah rumah Uncle aku.

So petang-petang adalah aku kat CM tu. Kekadang aku balik terus..kekadang aku pusing-pusing CM tu. Tengok orang draw, tengok kedai antik, dok belek LPlah, tengok souvenier, tengok orang. Kadang-kadang aku pi pakai public phone call fiance aku. Masa tu aku tak ada HP. Baru kerja..gaji pun tak ada.

So satu hari aku tengah jalan-jalan...sekonyong-konyong aku ditegur oleh satu Mat Smart ni. Mat Smart ni, in my books, is Mamat yang perasan dia smart. Rambut dia macam carefully disikat, walaupun aku rasa sikat ke tak sikat ke rambut memang jenis keras je..takkan berubah pun. Pastu pakai kemeja lengan pendek and slack..siap pakai tie. Lawak..pakai lengan pendek pakai tie. Pakai slack macam orang tua punya style. Pastu ada HP besar bapak kat pinggang. Kasut kilat babe. Pastu tangan pegang kunci kereta. Woo kira hebatlah dia rasa nak tayang dia ada kereta. Ada kereta apa buat kat CM ni, waktu orang balik kerja ni. Nak cari souvenier kot?

"Err...excuse me miss. You ni macam familiarlah. I rasa kita macam perna jumpa. I wonder where?"

Errrkk aku tengok muka dia. He is not much taller than me. And I am not tall. I am trying to guess kerja apa mamat ni. Aku keluar tepat pukul 5, so considered awallah mamat ni dah ada kat CM.

"No..sorry. I don't think I know you"

No kita mesti pernah jumpa. You belajar kat mana dulu?

Podachitlah Mat won't get me trapped into making me give info of myself to you.

I rasa I tak kenal youla. I belajar kat sini aje.

You ITM ke?

Semua orang belajar ITM ke kat sini? OKlah aku ITM. Tapi aku dah mula walk away dah


Itulah memang betul you nampak familiar. Why don't kita minum-minum. Cerita sikit. Ingat kisah lama.

Mamat ni biar betul. Aku jalan makin laju..nak belah dari mamat ni

You mind ke I jalan dengan you ni?

Hah! Jackpot question!

Yes! I do mind. Saya nak jalan sorang dan saya tak nak minum.

Eh! Janganlah gitu. Ambik card I. I ni eksekutif kerja kat Celcom. So kalau kita minum-minum, bolehlah kita kenal each other better

An executive introducing himself like that to me. How so no class.

Sorry mister Suara dah tinggi sikit. I don't wanna drink. I am not from ITM. I don't know you and I don't want to know you. So do not follow me ok?

Aku celah terus dan tak layan mamat tu panggil-panggi lagi.

I don't know, I have this big feeling he is not what he claims to be.

Plus aku tak suka Mat Smart.

Then I moved out from my Uncle's house so aku tak frequent lagilah CM tu.But after two months, aku ada pergi CM tu sekali lagi sebab aku baru ingat aku ada hantar filem cuci gambar. So aku nak collect.

Tengah-tengah aku jalan tu..tetiba ada orang tegur aku

"Err...excuse me miss. You ni macam familiarlah. I rasa kita macam pernah jumpa. I wonder where?"

My God! The same exact line. Aku toleh and without doubt the same exact Mat Smart.

Dia tak perasan aku rupanya. Then dia go on about me looking familiar. Tanya aku belajar mana and all sort and nak kasi aku kad "eksekutif" dia tu.

AKu ketawa. Kah! Kah! Kah! Dia pelik sekejap. Tapi nampak dia suka, sebab aku ketawa. Pastu aku diam tetiba..dan aku pandang dia dan aku sternkan suara aku.

"Look mister! You have tried that line on me before. Exact same line! What are you trying to get huh? Kamu ni dah tak ada kerja lain ke?!"

Dia terkejut gila..

"Eh! Ya ka?"

"Maybe saya patut report awak ni!"

Dia terus Ca Alip Bot. Seriously he literally ran away!

Aku tak tau apa kerja dia. Apa muslihat dia. Or apa yang dia mahu.

Tapi aku rasa he is up to no good. Dia dok cari awek yang nampak muda and new. Get them to trust him..yalah executive kan..sure hebat. For what I don't know.

Menyesal pulak rasa aku tak report kat polis pasal dia ni.

Berapa banyak pompuanlah dia dah kenakan.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Lollies Tales

I was tagged by The Diva and Nazrah. Hope you won't get bored.

20 years ago, 1985 (age 13)

Okay big event this year was I was not accepted to any boarding schools. I was frustrated. I really was. So I decided to go to the only offer I got. It is a semi boarding school. It is a vernacular school. By the end of the first year..I hated it. I hated that most people are so narrow minded. I hated that they hated me too. Instead of conforming, like what they wanted, I retaliated and rebelled.

I left the school after my SRP (PMR now) to a normal school. I was 16 then. Why didn't leave earlier? I don't like leaving things unfinished sort off. SRP is sort of a closure and a new milestone can start after that. So I left after.

I am glad my parents were not too pressing about this.

Till now the experience affected me a lot and I am always skeptical with the products of such school. And probably I am what I am now because of the school too.

But anyway I ovulated when I was 13. And that was a relief. All my friends got their period at 12. I was a late bloomer. And it was my dad who spotted the blood on my school uniform. Imagine that.

10 years ago, 1995 (age 23)

I graduated from UMIST, Manchester. Woo hooo. Come on let’s celebrate and throw off hats into the air.

I also found someone I can really love back. Someone I can really really really return my love. I do know many guy friends. I must say for a non-looker, the list is errr not too bad. Unfortunately I was never sure or things before with other guys. Before I met this someone, I was already with another person. I had to leave him. Yes I was the bad one.

But I really really like this guy who is actually my opposite. This is the year we (this guy and I) found that difference does not mean being indifferent and we slowly learn to find our common liking.

After graduation my sponsor force ask me to come back to Malaysia. I wanted to continue with my Masters. They insisted that I come back first. So after years in the UK, this was the first time I am back.

The guy stayed on. I applied to do Masters. I was not answered. My boyfriend got worried I supposed. Call me one day and practically begged me to get engaged. The moment I sounded like a yes, he called his parents and his parents came two weeks later with a group of five cars, a ring and those betel leaves and some funny cakes and oh some kiwi fruits. I don’t know why but the older women love teasing me with kiwi fruits. Grrrrrr

The first time I saw my mother in law was when she actually put the ring one me. *shudder*

Anyway I was accepted to do my Masters. I didn’t tell my fiancĂ© though. I surprised him when after two months in Malaysia, I appeared in front of his door and said..”Hello handsome. Miss me?” Muahahah. He was smoking his head off.

5 years ago, 2000 (age 28)

Am married. Got Haziq. He is two this year.

I was bestowed with good tiding this year. Apparently I got so much money this year. I don’t know what happen to it all though.

I was on TV for some show and I decided that I need to put braces to my teeth.

I am promoted as well.

Am looking like 25.

3 years ago, 2002 (age 30)

Happily married. I have two tagging along now. Batrisyia is now one and Haziq is four. Life is perfect. How can it not be when you have a dotting husband a boy and a girl to boot.

Am still looking like 25

Last year, 2004 (age 32)

Still lustily married. I have three now. Boy, girl, boy.


Lover quit his job a month before I gave birth to Zachary. He was terribly stressed. He even had hypertension when he was working. He was warded for it too. He was constantly arguing with his boss, finally he decided to quit.

Zachary was lucky to have his dad doing nearly everything for him all throughout my confinement day.

A lot of cries, me and my lover. Well me mostly. It is hard tp be supportive and not critical at the same time with my lover. He tried a lot of things.

We had tremendous experience but little monetary.

But we are happy.

Start blogging.

Am thinking that I look like 25.

This year, 2005 (age 33)

Tough year this year. We begin to see people who are real friends and those who are taking advantage of us.

Have the banks calling us up asking us to pay stuff. You know house, cars etc. We resort to finally not picking up the phone. To the depair to some of my friends. (Sorry..but I have paid up now. You can start calling again)

Working towards changes in life.

But hey..I find that despite the argument, (money can make you argue a lot), we are really happy. He is around nearly all the time. The kids are closer to him than ever.

Haziq goes to primary school.

Batrisyia goes to kindergarten.

Zachary is also called Jackjack and off late – oompa loompa. Muahhaha

Feel like 25 and what? I look 25 ok!

Next year, 2006 (age 34)

Goodness..will I be in foreign land next year. Is this my last year working in the corporate world? An engineer?

I cannot see anything now.

The heat in the foreign land is blinding me.

I think looking like 30 is not too bad huh?

10 years from now, 2015 (age 44)

I have this big feeling that I won’t be in corporate world no more. And I hope life will give me good experience for me to venture into something new. Something that I would actually like and be happy.

I would also have perfect manicured and pedicured hands and toes. No white hair. Wrinkle free skin because I took great care of it.

Haziq is a handsome strong 17 year old nearly grown man. He will be wondering which school would he like to pursue his dream on. Oxford, Cambridge,..muaahahah. Up to himlah.

Sya is a teenager. Urrkkkk. She would be 14. I hope we are best buddies.

Zachary is 11. I will smother him with mummy’s yucky kisses and shout Ibu loves you in front of his friends.

People will also be commenting that I look half my age. You mean you are not 22? Nooooo serious? You look so 22.

Which steering to choose now?

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Lollies' Irkiness

It was Saturday yesterday. Yes! I remembered that when I woke up that morning.

Ahhh sleep..

Oh! I also remembered that I am working today! I am working on Saturday! Pppffffftttt!

I have chest pain. Irritated cough. Stuffy nose. Just to let you know, today, I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed.

In the office there was a sudden meeting. Argument! Argument! Argument! I don't need this endless argument, really. So I purposely let my mind wander away..while stiffling a few unproductive coughs. Then my boss looked at me and asked for an opinion. Hah? What I think? How my report writing is doing?

Well,yadda yadda yadda bla bla bla! You are such a babba babba babba duh duh duh. My report is just du di da du di da, thank you for asking

Something to that effect

Then meeting dismissed.

I am brain tired.

Did I tell you what day was yesterday? I said Saturday eh? I said it's my working day, did I? Well yesterday more than just that. Yesterday was also Lollies-Feeling-Very-Ugly day. And what better thing could you do on a feeling ugly day? After lunch at Bangsar, I found Guardian Pharmacy. Oohhh yes the wonderland of the pharmacy shop. (Guardian is like Boots in England.) So I went in. They always welcome people who feel ugly to enter and shop as they might.

You can tell because among the rows of shelves they put pictures of preety girls pouting shining lips, sheer blusher, very curly eyelashes, perfect taut skin, slim hour glass figures, no stretch mark on butt. Yes! These products will do me just those. I believe the adverts. I believe them.

I headed straight to the face care shelves. Ahhh yes I need this "Revitalising Eye Essence". I was looking at my eyes and there is faint appearance of dark circles and fine wrinkles. Yes! Yes! I must have this. Otherwise I will appear like Zorro even though I am not actually wearing a mask.

Then I saw it. A must have. The face mask - to reduce the pores and diminish fine wrinkles. You will feel so freshen up after wearing this. Ooohh can you see my laugh line? You can right?..Jeez I must have this. I will follow all the beauty regime it says I must put this on for minimum 30 hours and I will see a new me. Yeah baby a new me. I like that eh? New me? I believe I am getting closer to be Angelina Lollie that I am.

And what more to top it up with then the anti pigmentation cream. Can you see that spot on my nose? Hah! Soon you won't be able to see it. No more siree. Say bye bye to pigmentation.

Oh..oh..I need a basket now. I see the body scrub. Must have! Plonk in the basket!

Body cream. Must get the biggest tub. For me and Sya! Plonk into the basket!

Lipstick. Yes! Yes! Zachary just poked his tiny finger into my lipstick. Now it is actually stick no's now lipblob. So new lipstick for me. Plonk into the basket.

And someone said I have short eyebrows. Must get the eyebrow pencil thing with the small brush to comb the brows neatly. Plonk into the basket.

Should I get those slimming patch? I am so fat now. And I have no time nor the energy to exercise. Should I? Should I? Should I? I think not! See I do use brain while shopping. No patch can reduce my tighs.

Then I saw it on the shelves. And I remembered why I was here in the first place.

The sanitary pads. Yes! I wanted to get me them sanitary pads. Slim with wings. To keep me save during the time of the month.

And this is the time of the month.

What? Stop looking at me! I've got all these..I should be looking good soon! What! I am still fat. Should I get those slimming patch, pills and all that. Or do you think I should go and buy myself a threadmill?

God! Save me.

Wait..should I change the title of this entry to Lollies PMS instead?

P/S : Am I glad I was not in Metro superstore otherwise the girls at the beauty counter would have attacked me and I would have believe every single thing they said. So yesterday was actually a cost saving day to beautify myself. But look at this is so yucy to put on. Duhhh

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Haziq the Politician

I bought some keropok lekor (fish crackers). Apparently they like to sell it in different sizes nowadays. There were the normal cut, slanted 4" long and now they also have it in bite sizes too. I actually like this bite size. You tend to pop more of it since you can finish quickly.

So me and the kids were eating it together out of the plastic bag, almost immediately after we bought it. There and then in the car.

Sometimes I like doing this with know all of us scurrying the plastic bag and eating fast. The rush of grabbing the food with the little ones are fun.

Typically the kids took the long ones first until the plastic ran out of it. Then Sya asked for another one..I gave her the bite size. And she was not happy about it. "I don't want this! I don't like it small!"

Before I managed to say anything, Haziq my eldest son, the sensible one, the one I can always rely to carry my policy of household, interjected.

"Sya..bite size is good especially for little kids. It's easier to eat too. Right ibu?"

Of course my dear eldest son. You are so right. One point from Ibu for the great wisdom.

Sya, outword, took it and eat it sulking.

Then Haziq wanted another cracker. I gave him the bitesize one because, I told you right, I ran out of the long ones.

And you know what? This much of his thoughtful advice to his little sister, exclaimed,"Hey! I don't want this! This is small! Give me the long one!"

So what do you think..should I groom him to be a politician from now on? Or at least a pop psychologist. You know anything that say one thing but do another.

On another note:

Zachary ran away twice while watching the news on TV. He ran away crying. Both were when Dato's Sri Najib came on TV. Hmmm..

Friday, September 02, 2005

Central Market

Tengahari hari ini aku telah diajak makan lunch oleh member aku. Sebenarnya dia sudah ada awek baru. Member aku ni blogger jugak. Nama dia bear. Awek baru dia ni pun blogger jugak..nama dia Diah. Awek ni dari Indonesia. She came all the way here for the first time untuk bertemu member aku ni.

Ohh La La! All the way babe! Dasat!So awek dia ni nak jumpa aku. Aku pun tak tau apasal..ramai-ramai blogger kat modblog tu dia nak jumpa aku. Adakah aku sudah masuk category ibu-ibu yang akan memberi restu kepada kekasih bercinta? Oh! Tidak! Tapik aku pergi jugaklah, sebab aku memang suka jumpa member-member dari blog-blog ni.

You lucky bastard you! Cunlah awek tu. Tapi aku memang dah taulah muka dia sebab aku nampak kat blog dia. Pastu feminine gitu. Aku pulak cakap sekuat-kuat hati..ayoooo..sungguh tidak feminine. Pastu manja aje..aku pun kena macam tu jugaklah dengan lover aku. Tapi aku rasa corny kot kalau aku jadik macam tu. Mungkin aku patut start untuk tidak pakai aku sebagai kata ganti diri pertama. Saya akan guna "I".

Anyway kita orang pun makanlah. Awek tu makan sikit aje..dia orang share pun Vietnamese Noodle beef soup yang I selalu boleh habiskan sorang tu...while I gobbled up my seabass in butter sauce. I kid you not! I gobbled! See I am not a dissapointment if you ask me for makan-makan. For makan-makan I shall.

So cerita punya cerita, dalam percubaan I nak faham apa awek tu cakap dan I sendiri pun cakap ada sikit-sikit Indonesian..terceritalah pasal Central Market.

Member aku tanya ada jual good kain batik tak kat sana. Eh sorry..I. I kata I tak ingat. (sambil tepuk bahu pembaca..manjakan?) Sebab dah lama betul I tak pergi Central Market..the last time was when I first started work in 1997. I had to take the mini bus from Central Market to go to MINDEF. I stayed with my uncle who is a Mat Tiarap. So it has been eight years.

Then suddenly I remembered an incident when I frequented CM. But now dah pukul 1 pagi, I pun tak sembahyang Isyak lagi. Kalau dah start tulis kang, panjang sangat pulak entry ni..kang Zahcary bangun kang lagi leceh..tak pasal-pasal Isyak I terbabas. So nantilah I tunggulah Central Market Part 2..or should I change this entry's title but I don't knowlah what to put. Ah! Okaylah tu.

P/S i dapat hadiah buku dari member I tu. Bribe lah tu. Elehhh tak payah bribe, awek awak tu memang cun! Bagus! Mak berkenan. Errr dia pandai masak Asam pedas Johor tak?

P/S : Itu gambar tangan member I. Tapik I tak surelak baju hitam bunga-bunga tu dia pakai ke apa. Bear, you pakai baju bunga-bunga ke tadi?