Friday, May 22, 2015

Mental Strength

I am still taking my Quran and arabic classes.

While my Quran lessons have been progressing forward, I am sad to say my arabic class have regressed. I have cut down to one arabic class and I am only learning Quranic Arabic*. And even then, I am making a hangat-hangat tahi ayam effort for it.

So I had exam last week. As expected my arabic results does smell like a warm tahi ayam and it is not the flowery kind mind you.

I do, however, put a considerable effort on my hifdh classe. Signing up to any other classes that I can. Because, I have to tell you now, it is not easy. Allah Mustaan.

I often read some simplistic tips that people give for one to memorise that go something along this line : One ayah a day and you will memorise the Quran in XX number of years. If it's that easy, then perhaps yeah, but truly the effort goes beyond that.

First you need to memorise the new ones. Meanwhile you must make a huge effort to retain the old ones. The more you go, there will be more old ones. You must remember all of them. This include you should not miss any harakat, you should not be confused with the word 'wa' and 'fa' or omitted or added them to your whimsical desire. or confuse 'hum' and 'kum' or is it 'ka' at the end of the word. You must not mixed up all ayat that are similar but are found in different surah.

Meanwhile the teacher will give you longer new ones because your brain is also doing weight lifting.

And all of these require a huge amount of time in your day.

I am not complaining, mind you. I do enjoy it. It's the best distraction that I need. Everyday you learn something new both in the Quran and also about yourself.

And certainly I am finding out something about myself. Mostly it is very humbling because I know now, I taklah pandai mana pun. And secondly many times you'll learn something in this surah and you will find something bigger in another. Then I learn to shut my mouth because I know, that I do not know much (making it difficult to blog).

But now, at this very moment, I need to learn to have mental strength.

You see, when practicing in the class or reciting in front of people, I could usually be fluent and actually feeling the ayah while I am reciting it. This is when you'll find that your tone is just right and words just come out smoothly.

In the exam room though, I became almost blank. I make mistakes major and silly. I got confused. I feel there is a voice (Insya Allah not schizophrenic), so what's the next word, this is difficult. What is it? what? what? I will forget. I will forget . these are chants in my head making a mantra.

This year-end exam was quite a disaster. I forgot the simplest of ayah. I got stuck here and there. My tajweed pusing-pusing macam gasing.

Perhaps I am not asking Allah enough. Or have been neglecting some duties. Or are not sincere enough. Not making repentance enough. Or all these combination above. Ya Rabb I ask for taufiq and hidayah.

And also I need to find mental strength and learn not to allow my nerves get over me. I need to be in control of my mental strength to be in a battle. The battle is in my head.

I ask Allah to open this door for me. This is on top of other effort that i should do. If you have suggestions, I welcome them.

But meanwhile let us hold on to this. Many times repeated in Surah Qamr.

And We have certainly made the Qur'an easy for remembrance, so is there any who will remember?

I am certain, that this journey will reveal me more of my inner layers and I must learn to deal with. Surely there is no success without pain. Ya Rabb send me guidance.

*Quranic arabic concentrates mostly on grammar thus you will learn why is the harakat the way it is and so forth. The downside is you will probably not learn much on how to speak or construct a sentence or even know many vocabularies. It helps the memorising though. 

Tuesday, May 05, 2015

Bring the Weight Back

I started to blog sometime in 2004. My last post, before this one was written in 2014. That's ten years! That's a whole decade.

Anyway among pet peeves topic that i would probably mention here and there during this ten years blogging is, I'm fat lah, makin tembam lah. Someone said i nampak sihat and berisilah. All the work.

Tell you what, i want that weight back! Yeah the weight that i used to complain about, i want it back! Because however fat i think I was, it is not as much as now. 

Hello 2015!

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Tips to Memorise

One of the things that people would advise those who want to memorise is to use one mushaf throughout. This is because, one doesnt memorise just by remembering the words, rather one also memorises the placement of the verse. Is it at the top of the page, bottom of the page or the next page. Even the scribbles in the page, or dog-eared will be planted in your memory.

This tip will become more pertinent as your memorisation increases and the verses become similar.

Having said that, not everyone can keep the same mushaf in the entirety. Me for example.

It is important that the new mushaf has the same layout. And thus i learned that differnt mushaf are printed differently. 

The top one is Sya's quran. Please ignore the state of the page. This is generally the format we use. Surah jumuah starts at the beginning of the page on the right side. The other mushaf, has totally diffrent orientation. Jack is using this one while we are on a break here, and jack (and me) are having difficulty trying to identify the position of the verses.

So there you go. Try to keep the same mushaf all throughout your memorisation adventure. Otherwise get a mushaf of the same format.

Community message brought to you from Lollies.

Friday, May 02, 2014

Roller Coaster Ride

I went to UAE last year (cerita lama dah basi). Dubai and Abu Dhabi specifically. We took some time to enjoy some of the man-made leisure in these super flashy cities.

We got to the Ferrari World and of course the first ride we took was the The Formula Rossa - the fastest roller coaster in the world. I know it promotes itself, to be the fastest in the world, but I am always a skeptic when people make claims.

And when I was on it, Ya Allah, it was fast! The track doesn't look that challenging but the speed is crazy. It goes on from 0-100km/h in 2 seconds flat and goes on to 240km/h tops.

I haven't been on roller coaster since 1997, and that one was only in Genting. The last one I had before was in Alton towers, UK. And yes I am a sucker for roller coaster, would always jump for the chance to be in the most front cabin or whichever that is deemed the scariest ride.

So when I was on the Formula Rossa, I was expecting the same feeling but when the speed got on me, in my mind I was thinking, I must be aging for this is really scary. On top of that, I kept thinking about the kids, especially jackJack. I was so worried that they would be chucked out of their seats. Jack is so thin, I was so worried he would slip out of his belt.

I guess now my worries have shifted to the kids unlike before when I care only for myself. Motherhood?

Anyway, only after that I made some research and apaprently none of teh coasters I ever ride before was in the ranking of top ten fastest coasters in the world.

1. Formula Rossa, Ferrari World, Abu Dhabi UAE - 240km/h
2. Kingda Ka, Six Flags Great Adventure, United States 206km/h
3. Top Thrill Dragster, Cedar Point, United States- 190 km/h
4. Dodonpa, Fuji-Q Highland, Japan -172 km/h
5. Superman: Escape from Krypton, Six Flags Magic Mountain, United States - 167 km/h
6. Ring°racer, Nürburgring, Germany -160.0 km/h
7. Steel Dragon 2000, Nagashima Spa Land, Japan - 153 km/h
8. Millennium Force, Cedar Point, United States - 150 km/h
9. Leviathan, Canada's Wonderland, Canada - 148 km/h
10. Intimidator 305, Kings Dominion, United States - 140 km/h

That explains why I thought it was so scary. Not because I am aging and what not. Because it was really super fast. Nothing like I have ever ride before.

And thus I conclude, I am still young. At heart.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Three Groups

If you are reading the quran from the back that is from Juz 30, you will notice Allah will differentiate people into two groups. The One who is given the book on the right hand and the one on the left (or the back. Still left hand).

You will find this in surah inshiqaq 84:7-15

Then, as for him who will be given his Record in his right hand, (7) 
He surely will receive an easy reckoning, (8) 
And will return to his family in joy! (9) 

But whosoever is given his Record behind his back, (10) 
He will invoke (for his) destruction, (11) 
And he shall enter a blazing Fire, and be made to taste its burning. (12) 
Verily, he was among his people in joy! (13) 
Verily, he thought that he would never come back (to Us)! (14) 
Yes! Verily, his Lord has been ever beholding him! (15)

Then you will find something of similar theme in Surah al haqqah (Juz 29).

Al Haqqah 69: 19-37
 Then as for him who will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Here! read my Record! (19) "Surely, I did believe that I shall meet my Account!" (20) 
So he shall be in a life, well-pleasing. (21) 
In a lofty Paradise, (22) 
The fruits in bunches whereof will be low and near at hand. (23) 
Eat and drink at ease for that which you have sent on before you in days past! (24) 

But as for him who will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "I wish that I had not been given my Record! (25) 
"And that I had never known, how my Account is! (26) 
"Would that it had been my end (death)! (27) "My wealth has not availed me; (28) 
"My power (and arguments to defend myself) have gone from me!" (29) 
(It will be said): "Seize him and fetter him; (30) 
Then throw him in the blazing Fire. (31) 
"Then fasten him with a chain whereof the length is seventy cubits!" (32) 
Verily, He used not to believe in Allâh, the Most Great, (33) 
And urged not on the feeding of Al¬Miskîn (the poor),(34) 
So no friend has he here this Day, (35) 
Nor any food except filth from the washing of wounds, (36) 
None will eat it except the Khâti'ûn (sinners, disbelievers, polytheists). (37)

These were the general idea that there will be two distinct groups in yaumul akhirah, the ashabul yamin (companions of the right) and Ashabul shimal (Companions of the left) if you read from Juz 30 that is. Then you set your mind that you want to be among the ashabul Yamin, those who will be given the Book of Deeds on the right hand. Ya Rabb.

Then as you proceed and reach to Surah al Waqiah, you realised, wait a minute, Allah says that there are three groups. And Ashabul yamin is not the highest rank.

al Waqiah 56: 7-11
 And you (all) will be in three groups. (7)
So those on the Right Hand (i.e. those who will be given their Records in their right hands) — how (fortunate) will be those on the Right Hand!
(As a respect for them, because they will enter Paradise). (8)
And those on the Left Hand (i.e. those who will be given their Record in their left hands) — how (unfortunate) will be those on the Left Hand? (As a disgrace for them, because they will enter Hell). (9)
And those foremost [(in Islâmic Faith of Monotheism and in performing righteous deeds) in the life of this world on the very first call for to embrace Islâm,] will be foremost (in Paradise). (10)
These will be those nearest (to Allâh). (11)

And there are those who are SABIQUUN. The one who is foremost in all the deeds. They don't just do what is enough, they do extra extra extra on top of what is obligatory. They are the first to do all the good deeds. They will rank the highest and will the one closest to the Lord.

Allahhu Mustaan. may we be given tawfiq and hidayah.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Our Part

Me and my classmates were having a chat with my quran teacher on the importance of having the correct makraj of the arabic letter less we will change the meaning of the intended word. Then my friend told me what happen to some of her friends.

They were made to know the sunnah of reciting surah al Kahf on Friday. In the spirit of 'we listen, we obey', the sisters grab the opportunity and religiously subscribe to the sunnah. 

Among the virtue

Abu al-Darda (Allah be pleased with him) related that the Prophet of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said, Whoever commits ten verses from the beginning Surat al-Kahf will be protected from the Dajjal.[Muslim, Abu Dawud, Nasai, and others; the wording is Muslims]

However, due to misunderstanding or interpretation, instead of reciting al kahf, the sisters recited al Qaf instead.

As you know al kahf is spelt الكهفwhile surah qaf is merly ق and the pronounciation of the letter kaf ك is not the same as qaf ق with the latter is heavier.

Thus a prove to why pronouncing the letter correctly is very important.

Howver there is an uneasiness in me when i heard this story. It is the lack of reading the proof yourself.

For any ibadah that you want to perform, there must be a clear valid proof either from the quran and sunnah that says prophet muhammad sallalhu alaihi wasalam was teaching it. The principle of fiqh is that all ibadah is haram unless there is a proof otherwise.

Checking out yourself forces you to think rather than swallow everything you are being told. Be very afraid to be in the group of the innovators because truly, the deed of the innovators is not accepted. You will avoid being led wrongly and fall among those in the wrong path. Naudzubillah.

Most of all, checking your facts after a lecture or a class, increases your understanding. may allah grant you the uderstanding of the deen.

The next time people ask you to recite al fatihah after someone's death, or surah yassin or whatever, check it out, what's the proof for it? 

May allah guide us on the straight path.

Friday, January 31, 2014

A Mother's Job

I heard a mother said to her child, "Why can't you be like so and so? She has memorise so much of the Quran! You have done nothing."

Also, "Why can't you be more helpful like so and so. He helps his mum wash the dishes!"
Why can't you study more and score more like so and so, she alsways score.
Why can't you be more like so and so.....
And the list goes on.

First of all, comparing your child to someone else's is really unbecoming. It is as though you do not appreciate what you have and on top of that, this is the breeding ground for hasad on the child.

I have seen the hateful eyes or the resentment of a child who is probably compared by the parents so much to another child. All I can say, teach your kids adzkar from early on. May Allah protect.

There is another thing I like to point out too. It is most likely that when you see someone else's child seems to have a particular talent is because they have spend a considerable time practising it.

Someone who has memorise alot goes through actually sitting down memorising, revising old ones, hardship of remembering it, difficult times of forgetting it, cries, joys, sacrifice of their time for something else.

Someone who is good in swimming actually goes through years and years of practising it many times every week, muscle pain, feet cramps, cold, sacrificing time for other leisure for practising.

Someone who helps their mother in household chores means they have to be nagged, shouted at, preached, scolded for doing wrong, sacrificing their computer time for something dreadful like this.

And on the pinnacle of this is the mother who plans and plans, and implement, and analyse whether her plans are working, and finding other ways to improve, and the nagging, and the frustration, and the joys and sacrifice her OWN leisure time. It is very likely she has to drive to other side of town to find the best sheikh, the best swimming class, her time to look over the school work, her time to make research.

With Allah's help, prayers and her effort, Allah may or may not allow the favour to be given to her child, and she may continue to plan and try and plan and try and nag and pray harder.

What the rest of us see, is only the fruits of their labour.

And thus I do not think, it is reasonable that a mother make comparison between her child to others, if she has not gone through the very same process. If there is anyone she wants to blame, she can blame herself. (But it's never too late).

Stop comparing your child and others. Instead, put effort that we can raise our child as Allah leases. Observe his talent, prioritise the balance of dunya and akhirah and scout for ways. Ask Allah for tawfiq and hidayah that He gives you idea of how to go on. And you supervise the path. Be ready to lose your own leisure, ready for hard times, ready to motivate them, know when to push and when to motivate. It all requires effort. For even a ball to roll, it needs to be pushed.

And if Allah has favour you and your child for whatever success that He bestows, He is to be praised and thank. Masya Allah, la hawla quwwata illa billah.

A mother's video.

What the boy said about giving the present of his Quran memorisation to his mother after her effort in instilling Quran to him simply makes me cry. May Allah preserve all of them.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

About LOL and Such

I think I shall embrace certain mishaps concerning the internet and have found certain things quite funny will be likely be a sweet memory.

In one of the whatsapp group I'm in, one of the ladies was upset with me. She was upset because I keep using the word "LOL". She thought I was calling her some names. Short form of "toLOL" or perhaps "bahLOL"? Oh dear.

I have explained it to her and she is ok after that. No more merajuk and kecik hati. Alhamdulillah she confronted me because otherwise who is to know that she is merajukking. And now she is an expert of the word "LOL".

Perhaps now I should upgrade her to "ROFL" and no I will not teach her "LMAO"!

Friday, December 06, 2013

What Have You Prepared For It?

Haziq and some of his fellow friends in the masjid will be participating for a  musabaqah (musabaqah means competition. can be used for any competition not necessarily Quran related) of quran memorisation sometime sometime in December.

I am slightly baffle though because up till now, the exact date of the competition is not announced. December break is coming and I do wish to take a break somewhere, but we can't plan anything much. I keep pressing Haziq but Haziq said none of them can tell him exactly when.

Since none of them speak english, I assumed its Haziq's not so good arabic is the problem here. However Haziq denies it.

The other day, one of the boys asked one of the sheikhs

When is the competition O Sheikh?

To this the sheikh replied, "What have you prepared for it?"

It's a joke, in case you can't see it.

Just a reminder, there is hadith of when there was a man who kept asking Prophet Muhamad sallallahu alaihi wasalam while he was giving a talk, "Mata sa'ah? Mata sa'ah? Mata sa'ah? When is the Hour? When is the Hour? When is the Hour? (The Hour means yaumul akhirah). Prophet sallalalhu alaihi wasalam replied, "What have you prepared for it?

Get it? get it?

Wednesday, December 04, 2013


Among the things that I love chatting with Haziq is about the time he spends in the masjid reciting to his sheikhs. His blue-eyed sheikh is really Masya Allah. I've blogged about him once but since I am on my Ipad, I can't figure out how to link the post.

Updated : This is the link. THE WISE and THE PATIENT

Haziq would say, when he got to the masjid, greet his teachers and all, he would then show his sheikh which page does he intend to read. The sheikh would take a look, close the mushaf and ask Haziq to recite and intermittently Haziq will make mistakes and blue-eyed sheikh would coreect him without the need to refer to the mushaf at all. Masya Allah.

Sometimes, blue-eyed sheikh gets a little tired. He would doze off while Haziq is still reading. But when Haziq make mistakes, he would raise his head and correct them. Haziq did deliberately make mistakes and lo and behold (to test his theory), blue-eyed sheikh will correct them. Masya Allah.

At other times, blue-eyed sheikh would read his own pages while listening to Haziq and perhaps three other boys reading. And he can still correct each of them when they make mistakes. Super masya Allah!

On a similar note but totally different standard, my teacher is trying to train my class to become Quran teachers ourselves (please pray for me ikhlas). Part of the training is, we have to listen to each other reading. Identify the memorisation mistakes and also tajweed, record them and correctly correct them. I would get flabbergasted with the recording while listening. First of all its difficult to identify their mistakes. The ladies in my class are already good in their reading. Occasionally they do make mistakes here and there but most of the time, i need to really listen to them and still not find any.

To top this, i usually get very sleepy when I listen to them. You'll find me dozing off only waking up when they have probably finished. Needless to say, I didn't find any mistakes in their reading. :P

May Allah bless all quran teachers around the world.