Q@tar Airways,11:15p.m

The thing that I feared most is the very thing that is happening to me right now.

It had been a desperate sad days for us. Yesterday we just couldn't get the means and ways for me to secure my passport. We can get our passports, but because myself and the kids still do not possess this RP, we won't be able to come back easily over here. We had to wait for a long time for a new entry visa if we do go back now. The earliest we can get our passports is on Sunday.

But Sunday, could be too late.

Even my lover had problem. Despite he already has an RP, he is not confirmed yet. Thus disabling him to apply for an exit permit. Another procedure to exit the country.

Even at 5 yesterday we were at wits end thinking whose strings we can pull to get us out of here. Irregardless, I was ready to go out and take the risk of not able to enter the country as fast as we would want.

I also wanted to take the chance of going there myself and make a lot of shouting and crying if necessary. I am desperate. When one is desperate they are willing to do just about anything. Have you watched John Q? I don't think I will go to that extent. But I was determined to do something.

But today, fate has it, that we found people who can help. And at the moment I am typing this, my lover is coming back home with our passports which has an RP attached to it. Shukur shukur. I have never been as thankful as this.

I am leaving the earliest flight tonight. Q@tarAirways. 11:15p.m.. I'll be in Malaysia tomorrow at 12 p.m.

The weather it seems is as sad as I am now. Yesterday, the normal Q@tar blue sky and bright shining sun seemed to shy away. It was dark yesterday. It was gloomy. It seems to understand what was going through in me.

I was helpless. There was never any good news when I called. Even earlier, my dad told me my mum's heartbeat has paced lower. I cried with my dad on the phone.

All I want is to be with her now. All I want is to be with my dad

Early this morning it rained here. Thunder and lightning. It does rain here in Q@tar. It is still raining now.

I cried so much, I have almost drained all the tears. I am slowly trying to take a grip of what is happening and what am I to expect.

All I want is to be there in time. If miracle has it that she is conscious again, I am more than thankful.

Ibu, I am coming home. Just wait for me Ibu. Wait for me.