Monday, October 09, 2006

Word Sunday : Intuition

The last summer I sent Haziq and Batrisyia to swimming classes. The thing is the classes are in another club which we are not a member of, so I couldn't dip in with little Jack. And because I worry about Jack being deprived of the pleasure of paddling in a pool, and will make a scene, Jack and I went to another place instead.

Lover stayed with the two kids. Each time he picked me up, I would almost routinely ask these questions. How did they do? Getting better? What are their progress? Tell me! Tell me everything! Tell me also whether Sya's pink goggles go with her pink suit.

As expected lover would say they are doing good. Haziq is really well. He is not scared of the depth. He can swim in one whole lap. He can dive to the floor. And sya well... she can swim better now but scramble a bit. Sometimes she worries about the depth but she doesn't mind jumping in though. Sya doesn't swim one whole lap like Haziq.

This is of course expected because Haziq had a headstart. He was already learning to swim in school. He was refining his skills in this class. It was expected for Sya to scramble because its new for her and she doesn't have as much energy as her brother.

I routinedly ask these questions each time they finish class and my lover dutily answered their progress.

Until sometime later when I asked the kids to get ready for the class, I noticed Sya's lack of enthusiasm. She took a long time to get ready. She continued watching TV and pretended not to hear me. She even said she didn't want to go swimming.

Hmmppffff. It was QR350 for 12 classes each, do you think I would let her give up like that? I watched her for sometime. Then my intuition tells me, she didn't like the comparison between herself and the brother. Maybe she felt that she was not able to compete with her brother at the rate he is going. And in the last class, the teacher insisted that she get in the depth and she felt scared but he had to pretend that she was not because her brother was not. The last thing she need is a jeer from Haziq. And ayah, yes her beloved ayah, kept saying that her progress is not as well. All she wants is to impress him.

So I told lover, perhaps next time when I asked how the kids are doing. Say good things about Sya. How much she has improved and not make it sound like a comparison with her brother. And of course make sure she heard the conversation as well while pretending that we didn't know she is listening.

Than later both of us will congratulate her and say we are proud that she is good now. She would tell you of course that now she is not afraid of the depth and you would say wow, you are brave.

My lover asked, did Sya tell you this? Did she tell me that she is not happy? I said of course not. Sya wouldn't say such thing. She has far too big an ego to admit. Just call it a mother's intuition. Some things can be read even when no words are spoken.

And wehei it works. She is not as inferior to her brother now. She doesn't take heed of what her brother can do, but rather what she has achieved. Cayalah babe. Picit hidung sikit.

Intuition is almost like clairvoyant kan jill? Mothers can nearly always predict what would happen next with their kids. Remember also we have a hundred eyes. Mothers see it all.

P/S : On another note, my mother knew that I had the thing with that Electrolux salesguy when I was err 15 years old. That guy turned out to be so yucky. Now now now how did she know this. Hadn't I been guarding it well? Intuition eh?


anggerik merah said...

Yes yes yes...mother's intuition is so strong.

You are exactly right, comparison can have a negative impact on child development. I had experienced that with my lil man sometimes ago...after which I realise that it is not a way to go..Sometimes the comaprison is unintentional. Praise and praise even with little things make a big different! Sampai kembang hidung the kids and.. zest...they will excell..

Ehh.. kalau adult pun the same..the psychology!

Jill Yusoff said...

Kan. Mommies are super beings, they are not even humans! Now, what's with the electrolux guy?

JoKontan said...

Do wives have intuition too ?

10 years down the road you may oso tell Sya's has this thing with another yucky salesman..heh

atiz said...

when u r a mother, you ESP went up 10 fold..aku ta pernah dengar lak bapak ada intuition..tak pernah cerita kot..

so Jo, that answered ur Q.

dlt said...

mother's intuition memang mengkagumkan. even when we speak on the fon, without actually seeing ur reaction, she can just know u are in a deep trouble or just plain happy or what-so-ever, just from the way u speak. Tabik spring la.Even if u have something to tell her, but unable to voice it out, she will know. Hope my mother's intuition will get stronger as my baby grows up.

~ahni~ said...

Sedikit comparison tu bagus sebab boleh membuat kan seseorang tu lebih berusaha tapi sehingga ke satu tahap yang bersesuaian sahajalah, jangan sampai dia rasa give-up/down/frust

rad said...

I'm so sure now that you're a good mom - to be able to notice ur daughter's insecurity & address the feeling appropriately..what it took was just a little understanding, discreet plodding and of course a little drama to brighten up her day!
When I'm surrounded by my nephews & nieces at one go, I tend to forget that they're little individual with specific needs - so garang jadinya!

Lollies said...

AM - tulah bila asik compare aje boleh dampen the enthusiasm

jill - electrolux guy is tak sehensem yg ku sangka. macam yucky gitu. ko ni tu je ko nampak

wives - i think yes. heh heh. don't be extra nice. ha ha ha

atiz - bapak aku dulu dia tau aku tak gi library. so dia telah ikut aku. dah tak jadik dating

dlt - tulah kalau baru lepas gaduh dgn laki avoid calling calling. bahaya. he he

ah ni - bak kata lain moderate je ek?

rad- heh heh apa yang awak garang tu. depa nakal eh? he he

1 said...

mothers intuition at its best. ur childrens are lucky lot having u as their mummies. i admire ur technique as well handling sya's issues.

electrolux guy? am i reading this rite.. huhu.

simah said...

intuitions...we r lucky arent we? n u used ur intuitions well :0)

UglyButAdorable said...

intuitions.... mom's intuitions is the best..i hope when i'm a mom..i will have that skill too..

you're not call a goddess for nothing lolls..

wwoiii..takder lain ker ..mamat electrolux??

rad said...

Er...helllooo...bole kasi tau sikit, ada apa dgn itu electrolux guy? I'm blur here..

Mama Rock said...

hahahaha...lollies, funny la you...elctrolux?

Lollies said...

wan - alaa semua mak mak pun gitu wan

simah - mummies are observant as well kan?

comel - when you are surrounded by kids, you will tend to read their behaviour like crystal.

woi sekolah menengahlah form 3. salesman pakai smart oraitlah tu dari budak sekolah menengah berhingus

rad - tak ada apa. dating aje once. and he is so tak hensem dua kali pandang

mama rock - heh heh. yalah beli vacuum electrolux.

kunci said...

i agree. my mom is on my back now cos im hiding smtng from her. relating to sya and haziq, i once observed how my uncle kept praising his son in front of his older daughter. adik hafal yasin and so good at academics. turned out kakak shrink away and threw cold long tantrums much to the parents' suprise.

Halley said...

Bila la I ni nak ada mother's intuition????

Idham said...

:) u know what...second to mother's intuition is a wife's intuition....wa cukup takut woooo dgn wife's nye intuition....mestyi kantoi kalau wa dok nyet nyet mata dengan achi setesen keretapi tu hehehe :)


Lollies said...

kunci - correct. I think nak puju pun kena ada strategy. kena reassure yang lain tu pun ada something untuk di puji gak. thanks a reminder for me ni.

halley - hei masih ada intuition yang lain yang boleh diguna pakai

idham - ha..tulah boleh bau jugaklah lambat laun kan. kalau achi tu lagilah boleh bau.