Sunday, January 10, 2010

Panjat Lagi Sikit

I went back to my old post in the early 2009 and I said I wanted to be cool in 2009. Angkat kening kat diri sendiri.

Well lots of room for improvement. LOTS!

Anyway forget about the domestic goddessy thingy. I have lost interest altogether. So I cook and eat and call some people over. But I am finding less and less time for fine cuisine (cewah). I admit, it is not my forte. Tapi jangan marahlah kalau makcik kata makcik masa a very mean tasting chicken curry hari ni dengan banyaknya sebab bolehlah menjala roti esok untuk di cicahkan.

I find my time being squeezed even at the starting of 2010. Alhamdulillah. I pray I can keep up with them and take the benefit of this time before I fall sick, or have to leave the country, or some intervention that prohibits me or die.

I have been thinking to myself how some people keep up with their time. They are even busier. Someone has 10 kids, she teaches people nearly everyday, meaning she has to prepare to teach, she also learn, and she cooks (sedaplak tu) and and and.

It dawned one me that Allah must have put barakah on her time. And made her better in time management. Allah creates time, the concept of time and thus our perception of time. he can make your time short or long. He can make someone to gain within one hour gain nothing except the clicking of mouse or understand a verse of His words or clean up the whole kitchen or teach someone or even make daawah.

I pray that Allah give barakah on my time and bless this gold that I am spending.

Anyway, my class has added more syllabus which is actually voluntary but I thought why not. Thus making my time completely full four out of five days on weekdays. Leaving me very little time for proper housekeeping (alasan). I only have Tuesday free for myself that I am hoping to do the groceries and do mini housekeeping, try to exercise (hardest), read (hard), homework and other things. But I have a feeling soon this Tuesday will be taken up also.

My weekends are mostly full too. I still have the teenage girls programme which is actually once a month but I can sense the other sisters are trying to push it to twice a month. I am actually reluctant because Friday is my day with my children. It's already a challenge to have our "class" together. And I find that at the moment I am the stumbling block in this group. *Tak tau nak cakap macam mana. tetiba rasa nak nangis*

It really makes me think whether I am perhaps one of those who doesn't rush or exert myself for good deeds. And I fought with my innerself with ikhlas or being terpaksa otherwise. When people offer me something on the plater, I hesitate and think alot to pick up. And finally the platter is being pulled away.

Last year I thought of doing something different than what I use to do. I volunteered to help out in a programme. But it turned out sour on my side. And I am frustrated and sad. Then I became a bit reserve and would avoid doing voluntary work or help out. It's a struggle in me because I think I miss a lot of deeds.

But as if tak serik, I agreed to help out the Malaysian group to teach the children over the weekend religious class. I pray that this is a wise decision and it will be good for myself and for everyone in dunya and akhirah. Perhaps I will put up an entry on this one.

Anyway, I am praying that I can always better myself in everything. Achieve what I aspire to achieve. Bersemangat. Steadfast. Make friends. Be warm. Spread love. Sprinkle peace.

Tahun ni nak panjat lagi sikit and observe territory of possible expansion, Insya Allah. Hopefully not my width though.

jack

14 comments:

megigoreng said...

You did a great job dear...I know u will always will coz I have a trust in you..just be yourself and you will find satisfaction in it. Thanks for sharing all your knowledge to the one in need especially the kids and lebih2 special lagi my kids :)

أم الليث said...

LOL at the last line hahahahah!
senang skit ek bila anak semua dah gi sekolah. si ibu bebas nak buat aktiviti utk diri sendiri heeeeeeee

i always ask people whose house is spotless and they have lots of kids yet have time to attend all sorts of classes and social events. they all say they wake up really early. 4.30am dah bgn kemas rumah and masak breakfast and prepare to cook lunch.

i'm thinking..omg.. i am so lazy...sbb tu kerja tak pernah settle2. lps subuh tidur (subuh at 4.20am now..huwaa.. isha' at 10.40pm). heheh

we have to exert ourselves for good deeds but not just dakwah and talbul ilm. what about our fardh and nafl ibadah..we need to exert ourselves for them too. but if we're too busy and exhausted from 'dakwah' and 'talbul ilm', then our fardh and nafl are just so-so.

Allah tells us in the Quran to protect ourselves (first) then our family from Hellfire. So spending time teaching islam to your family is of more priority than teaching someone else's teens.

Prioritising is probably the key word here.

You're doing good. You can do better. You will be the best.

abi said...

anda sudah berjaya. tahniah.

butterflutter said...

* nak comment pun segan *sigh

Keep up the good work lollies! I have lots and lots more to do.

zan said...

ditto butterflutter..i pun baru jer mengomel tak cukup rehat after 1st weekend of going tru school days...huhuhu..

you are doing great and u inspire me a lot :)

i hope Allah gives us strength and much health to fulfill our duniawi and uhkhrawi.

Lollies said...

megi - May Allah makes me better than what you think. Lebih2 lagi your kids eh? I hoped they enjoyed the session. Hmm depa faham ke tak aku cakap pun aku tak sure.

aliya - he he. memang nikmat jugak tu bebudak soma dah sekolah. adalah me time. tu dok wonder orang yg buat homeschooling tu lagi full hand. Masya Allah.

But ada anak pun best gak. I kinda love kelek anak. But I am enjoying my time also now.

betullah you cakap. I am trying to wake up earlier now. *Yawn* cuma guilty ada gak the choice to masak and doing other things. Alhamdulillah our good intention is also rewarded. Islam is easy. So masak is also an ibadah. Tapi uhuk uhuk susah.

Again Aliya thank you for putting the advice into an understandable perspective. Really appreciate it alot! Allahumma bareek.

abi - sudahkah saya? Masih meneruskan usaha

BF and zan - janganlah gitu. the only difference is i put it in the blog. It doesnt mean i am any good. But may all of us blow inspiration towards goodness to each other.

Ameen to Zan's dua'.

masdiana said...

Allah burdens us not more than we can bear.

I used to want to be a 'superwoman' - wanting to do it all, albeit the wrong reason - zaman jahiliah dulu takde lak teringat ikhlas to Allah then all that you do will get His rewards. AstaghafirUllahal 'azim...

Then it dawned on me (by my cik abang's words - + it's all from Allah swt) that I ought to let other people help me so that they get a share in the reward. AstaghafirUllah... I've been so selfish rupanya...

So, just keep on doing what you're doing - masyaAllah, tabarakAllah you're doing great + such an inspiration to me, + if at 1 point you feel stressed out, like you can't go on anymore + if you do you might not do so with ikhlas, then pray to Him that He make it easy for you, either by you being steadfast in it or letting it go to someone else better insyaAllah.

Sorry panjang lak - dah jadik another blog entry! :-) But mostly reminder for my ownself insyaAllah. *hugs* You know you can cry on my shoulders right?

scha said...

Kak Lollies,

Just nak bagitahu yang entri Kak Lollies ni betul2 buat saya terfikir betapa statiknya tahap amalan saya selama ni. Since saya kenal kak Lollies (thru blog, of course), Kak Lollies sentiasa cari ruang untuk perbaiki diri (amalan), tapi saya? Cam tu je lah.. Takat solat 5 waktu dan tadarus masa ramadhan hari tu.. then now, bila dah sibuk balik dengan kerja, terus tak dapat nak istiqamah tadarus setiap hari.. rasa macam diri saya ni lemah sangat nak keep up dengan benda yang bukan susah pun nak buat, tapi pahalanya besar.. Sorry komen panjang. Just nak luahkan perasaan saya lepas baca entri akak ni. Uhuks. :(

Lollies said...

diana - Thanks dear. Would you like to share with me what are the things that you wish to want to do all? At the moment I am thankful that Allah send me friends who shares similar idea and have discussion now and then. Sebab at the moment I rasa tak terbaca everything. So Alhamdulillah for that.

Scha - dear. Start small but consistent. Allah loves small consistent deeds. Build yourself at your pace and with aim. For instance, solat sunat before/ after prayer. May find it hard to do because it seeminglys is a lot. Walhalnya dulu kata solat 5 minit aje. Knowing the benefit may help. As for me, knowing that solat sunat helps to cover the deficient in solat wajib is a motivation.

Start with the small one and has the highest priority which is sunat before Fajr. Only two rakaah but falls under sunat muakkad. Rasulullah s.a.w never leave it. Do it often sampai rasa kalau tak uat, tak lengkap dah rasanya. And slowly build to other sunats.

Start small and consistent and aim BIG.

Same like reading Quran. Start with a page a day for example. But be sure its consistent. Put a schedule of a waktu yang REALISTIC. Duration yang realistic. And adhere to it. reward yourself with satisfaction that Allah will reward you and arm yourself with dua and fight the nafs. This is for my ears actually.

May Allah make it easy for all of us.

Dills said...

Im always segan to comment. Thats why i only read. Never miss any of your entry yet. Very inspiring.
Terasa kerdil sungguh diri ini.....

BabyBooned said...

lolls, i think ure an outstanding woman; u're my role model! hah! seriously, i wish i'd make time for more activities like you.

love the picture!

shidah said...

you are doing great...anak2 I cakap "Auntie Lollies best..." InshaAllah, you'll find it easy to juggle with your time, and for Allah to make it easy for you. I need this for myself too, though sekarang ni baru start nak menjinakkan diri, masih jauh di belakang :(

MULAN said...

heyya superwoman... keep up the good work.. moga dirahmati Allah selamanya..

Peri PiA said...

Amin

i like this
"Anyway, I am praying that I can always better myself in everything. Achieve what I aspire to achieve. Bersemangat. Steadfast. Make friends. Be warm. Spread love. Sprinkle peace."