Panjat Lagi Sikit

I went back to my old post in the early 2009 and I said I wanted to be cool in 2009. Angkat kening kat diri sendiri.

Well lots of room for improvement. LOTS!

Anyway forget about the domestic goddessy thingy. I have lost interest altogether. So I cook and eat and call some people over. But I am finding less and less time for fine cuisine (cewah). I admit, it is not my forte. Tapi jangan marahlah kalau makcik kata makcik masa a very mean tasting chicken curry hari ni dengan banyaknya sebab bolehlah menjala roti esok untuk di cicahkan.

I find my time being squeezed even at the starting of 2010. Alhamdulillah. I pray I can keep up with them and take the benefit of this time before I fall sick, or have to leave the country, or some intervention that prohibits me or die.

I have been thinking to myself how some people keep up with their time. They are even busier. Someone has 10 kids, she teaches people nearly everyday, meaning she has to prepare to teach, she also learn, and she cooks (sedaplak tu) and and and.

It dawned one me that Allah must have put barakah on her time. And made her better in time management. Allah creates time, the concept of time and thus our perception of time. he can make your time short or long. He can make someone to gain within one hour gain nothing except the clicking of mouse or understand a verse of His words or clean up the whole kitchen or teach someone or even make daawah.

I pray that Allah give barakah on my time and bless this gold that I am spending.

Anyway, my class has added more syllabus which is actually voluntary but I thought why not. Thus making my time completely full four out of five days on weekdays. Leaving me very little time for proper housekeeping (alasan). I only have Tuesday free for myself that I am hoping to do the groceries and do mini housekeeping, try to exercise (hardest), read (hard), homework and other things. But I have a feeling soon this Tuesday will be taken up also.

My weekends are mostly full too. I still have the teenage girls programme which is actually once a month but I can sense the other sisters are trying to push it to twice a month. I am actually reluctant because Friday is my day with my children. It's already a challenge to have our "class" together. And I find that at the moment I am the stumbling block in this group. *Tak tau nak cakap macam mana. tetiba rasa nak nangis*

It really makes me think whether I am perhaps one of those who doesn't rush or exert myself for good deeds. And I fought with my innerself with ikhlas or being terpaksa otherwise. When people offer me something on the plater, I hesitate and think alot to pick up. And finally the platter is being pulled away.

Last year I thought of doing something different than what I use to do. I volunteered to help out in a programme. But it turned out sour on my side. And I am frustrated and sad. Then I became a bit reserve and would avoid doing voluntary work or help out. It's a struggle in me because I think I miss a lot of deeds.

But as if tak serik, I agreed to help out the Malaysian group to teach the children over the weekend religious class. I pray that this is a wise decision and it will be good for myself and for everyone in dunya and akhirah. Perhaps I will put up an entry on this one.

Anyway, I am praying that I can always better myself in everything. Achieve what I aspire to achieve. Bersemangat. Steadfast. Make friends. Be warm. Spread love. Sprinkle peace.

Tahun ni nak panjat lagi sikit and observe territory of possible expansion, Insya Allah. Hopefully not my width though.