Agent of Change

I don't really remember the exact date that I decided to don the hijab. But I think it is sometime this month (or was it February or err april :P) last year.

I still love wearing skirts which are slightly below the knee. However I am happy to tell you that now I have found even greater pleasure to wear the skirt at the right place and the right time. Over here sometimes the ladies host morning coffee, girls only, and this is the time when most of the niqab ladies would go all out. Dengan full flash make up, earings and baju bergaya. And the compliments among ladies are really refreshing you know.

Let me recall back why did I not don the hijab earlier. Perhaps it can be beneficial for you, Insya Allah.

It started of as a rebel action. *oh please lollies*. Somehow when I was younger I felt the "alim" people are belittling me. They are always giving strange fatwas like don't leave the prayer rug after you pray for the shaytan will pray after you. Isn't that a good thing?

For one reason or another, those people (whom I met) do not seem to be doing well in their academic nor in anything much except preaching. And somehow I associated that being Islamic and being thankful for what we have made them complacent and not wanting to strive better.

When I was younger I felt that most hijabis are timid and lembik and lack in self esteem. And they can't speak for themselves.

And as I grow up I begin to see hijabis with bad behaviour especially backbiting, jealousy among sisters, hati busuk, loving status, taking bribes (bribes come in many forms) and backstabbing. Then we see also hijabis making out with boyfriends, beromen in public and entah apa-apa lagilah.

What irked me the most is the hijabis who like to tegur the non hijabis sister (me that is) and do it out loud so the world can hear. I have been to islamic inclined majlis (which I actually like even when I am not hijabbed) and sisters stayed away from me or look at me from far.

While the guys, they talk about hijabs, tutup aurat, but they are wearing shorts when they play. And when they tuck in their shirts, I can see the shape of their bum. And many of them prefer non hijabi themselves.

Look at them hijabis, with a headscarf on but with foul akhlaq. What is important is our heart. Sah? Why put on the hijab and be those who slander? It's better that I don't wear than be like one of them.

Somehow, slowly Allah began to flash upon me a few exemplary hijabis. Those who do tremendous voluntary work. Those who have clear objective of their life. Those who speak with conviction. Those who are opinionated (in a correct way). Those with tremendous akhlaq. I enjoyed learning about these sisters from far and some I managed to have the privilege of their company.

Then it dawned on me. This not being a hijabi due to bad hijabis are excuses ONLY from me. Because I want to comfort myself for not donning it, I take the easier way out. I used the blame syndrome. It's easy to say look at her, she has the hijab but she cheats. Look at her, she has hijab on but tak get ngaji pun. Look at her she has hijab but always envious of people. A Hijabi but materialistc.

Was I not just like the ignorants who immediately judge a person just because they are muslims? Am I not like the ignorants who see a hijabi or a bearded muslim man and immediately accuse them being terrorists?

Hijabis or not, muslim or not, there will be people with bad akhlaq. The common factor is not because they are hijabis. The common factor is because they are human.

Was the hijab wrong or my lack of knowledge were wrong?

True, if you are a Muslim, you should carry yourself like one. When you don the hijab, you become an ambassador for the Muslim community. Abiding to Allah's rule, you should continuously please Allah and display the best of manners.

So I am not happy with some hijabis attitude.

Who should I change then? The hijabis?

But I cannot change that sister. She has foul mouth!

Why not ourselves?

Are you are among those, like the previous me, who have been withholding this bit of Allah's order of worship because of bad exemples of other hijabis? And you believe that what is in the heart is more important than just appearance. You just cannot fathom how can someone who obeys the hijab part, disobey many others. If you detest bad akhlaq. Then Masya Allah sister, you are among those who love the principle of virtues. You believe in doing something it should be done right all the way and not half way done.

May I then suggest you to take this goodness to another level. Bring it up further to please ONLY Allah. Not for fashion. Not for pressure of conformity. But for Allah.

Propagate good things and be the agent of change yourself. Show them what is right. Walk the talk. Set examples yourself. You'll never know where good akhlaq can carry you. What more when Allah is please with you.

Then we an talk about making things better. Our family. Then those around you. The community. Perhaps the whole nation. Perhaps the world. Insya Allah.

If you wait for the hijabi masses to change, they won't. But you can.

Join the bandwagon.

This bandwagon are filled with sisters who are strong. Those who equipped themselves with the right ilmu. Those who speak from the heart because of their faith. Those who are opinionated because they believe in Allah's word. They believe in Rasullullah's words.

This bandwagon are filled with sisters who are equal, if not, more than some man in their worshiping to Allah.

This bandwagon are filled with sisters who are clear of the reason we are here.

This bandwagon are filled with sisters who are clear on the way we are heading.

Who want to be righteous and raise more of them.

Those who are doing it right, Insya Allah.

This bandwagon is the most pleasurable place to be in this short journey. And there are still a huge space.

It will only come rolling to you, when you are it.

For those who are on the hijab, project the best of examples because it is just the right thing to do. For all you know your bad examples is an excuse for people not to don the hijab.

For those who have been donning the hijab, covering the bosom, making sure the three quarter length sleeve compensated by some form of arm covering, lowering down the top to cover the curves of the thigh, practising hayak (feeling of shame)and abiding the orders of Allah and His Messenger, I am envious. For you do not have to worry day and night whether your tawbah is accepted by Allah.

---

This is more of a reminder for myself. I am praying that it will also be to all of us.