Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Tidur

I didn't have trouble sleeping when we first reached Makkah. But I didn't pay much attention to it.

Until some of my housemates claimed that they couldn't sleep well. Perhaps it's a new place. Less comfortable bed.

saudi saudi
My room sharing with 9 others.
The view in the morning outside my window. We stayed at Jabl Noor. Very near to Gua Hiraq.




To this I exclaimed, "Alhamdulillah! I have no problem sleeping at all. Letak je kepala terus tidur."

And qadr Allah, that very night I couldn't sleep a wink. I tossed and turned and still could not sleep. After sometime I remembered what i said during the day. I actually thought to myself, was there a hint of kerekness (takabur) in my words? Was saying Alhamdulillah not sufficient? Did I say Alhamduilillah because it is just logical to say it in the sentence? Was I really thankful that I could sleep? Because, man, sleep is definitely a nikmah especially at that time.

A closer self inspection, perhaps I did have a hint of kerekness when I said I could sleep. Perhaps I was saying, ahh miskeenahnya, tempat lain sikit aje tak boleh tidur. Aku ok aje. Allah knows best what is in my heart.

Having said that, I sometime wonder about me writing in this blog.

Whether it's ok or not.

Hmm











I asked forgiveness from Allah. I ask Him to allow me to sleep..

And that night was sufficient for me to be more aware of this nikmah of sleeping. I was worried of course because if I find it hard to sleep when the bed is comfortable, what about when I am in Mudzalifah, on hard ground, in a sleeping bag, and in a group of people. What about Mina where I will be sharing with more than a hundred people, pelbagai bangsa dan pelbagai ragam? And if Allah chose to make me not able to sleep for the rest of the journey, it will affect my ibadah. The whole purpose of me being there.

saudi saudi saudi
The tilam lenyek in my mina tent. Took the picture when I was alone in the tent.
And the huge aircondition in the tent.
In my first class accommodation in Mudzalifah. I am probably sending out or reading sms from the phone


And what does worry make one to become? Reliance on Allah.

The night when I slept at Mudzalifah (particularly), I asked Allah to make it easy for me. I asked Allah to allow me to sleep. To seal my ears like He sealed the ears of the youth in the cave.

Praises go to Allah, Allah allows me to sleep on all occasions. Waking up sometimes in the night, but woke up feeling that I had sufficient rest. Syukur my Lord for the nikmah.

I am taking a break from my classes and such for perhaps a week. I am coughing. Lover had a day mc. The children are taking turns having fever. But Alhamdulillah I can have this time introspecting myself. My journey. My actions.

A lot of work still.

8 comments:

Sheherazade said...

i love ur blog very much k.lollies....hurmm,takabur

Ir. Hanafi Ali said...

Huhuhu... Masa kat Mina takde tilam. Ada carpet tebal. Lantai tak rata dan keras. Hingus bergelas-gelas.

Lollies said...

ruby - sila baca dengan berhati-hati. ahaks!

hansac - hehehhehe. saya kena berhati-hati tak kerek dengan tilam penyek saya itu.

hingus bergelas-gelas? hahahahaha

masdiana said...

Masa I buat umrah someone asked me apa yg pak guard masjid cek when they check bags, to which I answered I don't know, which I honestly didn't, + tambah plak "So far sling bag kecik I nih tak pernah lak kena cek." Terus the next waktu nak masuk masjid kena cek my bag! Nasib jek hp bercamera tuh dia tanya hp ke camera + I jawab hp + dia lepaskan. At the time, mmg I honestly thought I didn't feel any takabbur, but I think this is Allah's way of reminding us (me) to guard the tongue + thus heart, for He knows what's in our heart.

May we always be reminded to check + re-check our hearts, + may we keep on cleaning it from any disease.

PS: I pun alhamdulIllah antara manusia yg senang tido + ditegur roommates but alhamdulIllah my test from Allah wasn't in the same form as yours. :-)

zal said...

i was surprised i slept almost the whole journey dlm bas... few days sebelum pergi mmg i was really worried, apa lah nak buat for that 30 hours... Alhamdulillah, rasanya sejam dua je buka mata kat atas bas tu... sedar2 berhenti makan n toilet...

Lollies said...

diana - i rasa i among selalu kena check dengan guard. come to think of it, kalau dulu2 masa student pun immigration check kat airport bila lalu green lane. tu yg i bawak phone tak ada kamera and tak bawak kamera bila masuk haram tu.

zal - i tau you tido sepanjang masa dalam bas. hahahah. i dok dengar ipod. tapi itupun ada gak tertido walau the sound betul2 kat telinga. bangun kaki rasa kejong.

i masih ingat lagi how frustrating it was, bila bangun tido, aik still kat tempat sama ke. bas ni tak gerak2 lagi dari tadi. ohh ruginya.. :P

Aida said...

kak loli, m your silent reader yg dah sangat lama, tapi malu nak post comment :)

Anything related to Tanah Haram memang sy sangat suka. Being there myself for umrah back in May 2009, I teringat masa di Masjid Nabawi. Masa waiting for Dzuhur, me & my fren dapat spot solat yg masuk cahaya matahari. I told my fren - "panas, kita gerak ke tepilah." Sebab earlier tu kami tgk tempat panas tu akan berubah2 ikut edaran matahari. We THOUGHT masa cahaya tu kena kami, ia sekejap je and akan gerak ke org sebelah pulak but we were totally wrong. Matahari tu ikut kami dan tak gerak2 sampailah kami abis solat.

I harap dpt utk kembali ke Tanah Haram. Rindu sangat2!

Hope both u & hubby dilimpahi rahmat olehNya :)

-anne-

mosh said...

Those were the first photos that I have seen of mina or muzdalifah. Selalu dengar cerita je.

Can see your feet though ehehe