Monday, November 26, 2007

Oh Dear Sya

Today I received a letter from Sya's teacher. What I read was a total shock to me.

Shock. Embarrassed. Angry. Sad.

Apparently Sya has been asking money from her friend. Not the extortion kind. More of a friendly kind. And the girl has been continuously giving her money so that Sya can buy herself a bottle of juice.

I don't even know how to start what I want to say.

I am still angry to the point I feel like crying.

You see, Sya has been asking me for pocket money so she can buy something from the school shop. I have explained to her numerous time, she and her brother, the reason why I don't think it is a good idea.

First of all, I am giving her food everyday. Maybe its obnoxious but I pride myself for doing her lunchbox. I also gave her plain water. I told her that I do not agree to buying juice from school. remember my new year resolution. That I want to reduce the sweet juice intake.

I guess she did not agree with the idea and feel that she needs to buy from school still.

Using someone else's money.

I can't tell you how embarrassed I am now. In fact embarrass enough to write this down here. But I need to recollect myself. Help me clear my mind.

I suspect though, that she wants to buy because she would look cool and in with the rest of the girls. Everyone else has pocket money. So its might not really be about the juice. Which is something that needs to be addressed.

One easy solution is of course to give her money from now on. Just QR1 will get her the juice. But it's not all about money. Even though I have been contemplating to give them pocket allowance, but now it would seem that I am going against my instruction. And should I or should I not control what she eats? I still want to in a way. Sya can easily plump up. She did last term before summer. I just do not think its right to plump up too early. (my age differentlah). I do want her to practice good eating habit.

I have talked to Sya. No allow me to correct that. I have shown my anger to her. I may have also use the word disappointed. *hangs head in shame*. Total wrong I know. I didn't know any other way sometimes. I was disappointed that she went against me. She knew about the no juice thing. I said to her despite no juice policy, I still give her juice every time she gets in the car when I picked her up. What else do you want????? And asking money from a friend is another thing. Ahhhhh!!

I will speak to the teacher tomorrow and very likely give a courtesy call to the girl's mother. And what is worst the teacher wrote the message last week. And all this while there have never been any message when I check, and I just have to not check this earlier.

I am still thinking what to say to her tomorrow morning.


Theta said...

Oh dear, sorry to hear about your predicament. I don't know what to say. Different parents have different style of parenting. Some just give way to their kids' whims and fancies just to pipe them down. Others are more strict. persevere and exercise great willpower in disciplining them.

As a new parent, allow me to suggest that you execute your action along this line: what kind of relationship you want to cultivate and nurture your children with.

It's subjective, I know but I am confident you'd pull through!

Chin up!

Anonymous said...

Memang zaman anak2 kita berbeza dgn zaman kita sekolah2 dulu. Saya cadangkan beri mereka sedikit duit poket dan pada masa yang sama tanamkan sikap berjimat dan menyimpan wang, belikan tabung yang transparent so diorg boleh tengok hasil simpanan mereka.

ummi said...

Oh dear hang on there. Don't get too angry with Sya. It happens. You don't need to be ashamed, angry, embarassed or sad. I am sure some mothers would go thru this once with any one of their kids. I went thru this myself. I was just like you, I cried and cried.

Sometimes children at that age, want to be at par with their peers. So they also want to be "one" of them. When this happen you have to bring yourself down to her level. Try to be her in her shoes. Then only you can see what is going on in her surrounding or even her mind.

There is no right or wrong in whatever that you do now. There isn't a perfect method in raising a kid, every kid is to be treated differently.

You have been a great mother and I believe you will always be. More challenges are waiting for you esp when they reach teenager. Have a great day!

IbuHaziq said...

huhu...sorry to hear what has happened.i can't say much coz i havent gone thru it yet but im sure you will be able to handle this matter brilliantly..... :)

MULAN said...

sabau, sabau... kalu den ni cepat noooo naik hangin nya.. u sure can handle this matter sebaik mungkin.. my kids ni oso pernah jugak buat keje yg di luar kawalan.. alahai budak kan, at times depa rasa benda tu bukan kesalahan yg besau..

cikdinz said...

manlah dia dapat idea nak buat camni ni..

anyway cuba cakap slow-slow dan tau apa masalah dia. pakai psikologi...

atiza said...

a friend told me once to use reverse psychology with kids..

aku bukan paham menatang tu..tapi cer ker kau try..