One Plus Year Old Boy

Why is it that a one plus year old boy have so much energy to do everything? Why do they run around so much only to fall and hurt themselves? Why do they play under the shelf, squat down and get up only to knock their heads on to the opened shelf door? Why do they like to play under the table and run from you only to hit the table's edge?

Why do they wriggle so much when you want to put the diapers on? Why do they like running in their birthday suit away from you and shut the door?

But that I can still understand. Tired but I can be amused, sometimes.

Why does this particular one year old boy like to point at the bedroom window. Look at me and point. Point! Point! And later laugh. And more staring at the window.

That I don't find amusing.

None at all!

My Cooking

Entry ini ditujukan khas untuk babe yang cun melecun itu, dengan ucapan "Sesungguhnya aku cinta padamu."

My lover told me that my cooking has improved tremendously. If I were my usual self, I would have jumped and said, "Are you saying it was bad before??!!" But instead I took the compliments because deep down I know there are some truths in it.

I told him, I don't really like cooking you know. I don't hate it. It's just don't fancy doing it. Worst still every day, in out, in out. I don't think everyday cooking can ever be my hobby. I have never really helped my mum during those precious teen years and my first time experience was the one I cooked chicken rice sometime in autumn of 1992.

I do cook, but usually it is the simple one for the kids on weekday basis. Now those used to be special weekend cookings are my everyday cooking. Imagine that? I think my mum would be half impressed. Even my dad, who was at disbelief after he discovered that I can somewhat cook when he visited us after we got married.

And because cooking is now my KPI, I put my heart and soul in it. And I have to eat it for God's sake. I don't want to be eating fried chicken everyday now do I. Or omellete or fried eggs or ayam masak kicap again and again? And plus the food here, how much can you take arab food everyday? The oily briyani rice. My lover doesn't fancy food with so little gravey. I only like kebab and lamb chops. Zachary doesn't like it. So I had to cook..everyday.

Having said that, I do like to invite people and cook up for them. Ohh I so love that. I like cooking the many dishes, the preparation..they are all adrenalin rush to me. Making sure the food is at least edible, if not delicious. Taking out cutleries, serving dishes. I like the non-stop preparation from the night earlier, the playing hostess and the satisfaction that good food is served and hopefully people enjoyed. That I like. I am not sure if there is any scientific term to these behaviours. I don't really like cooking but I like to cook for a lot of people. 30 to 40 the most so far. Not that many, but enough for the pots and pans I own.

Over here, the Malaysian expat's wife is generally judged by their cooking skill or what they can cook. Well, judge is actually a strong word. But if they have something on and the menu is pot luck..do you want to come in every time with fried chicken? And plus since I like cooking for lots, I just need good menu for pot luck.

But, look at Zachary's cheeks now. In this cold weather his chubbier cheeks glow red.

And my sweet Batrisyia, whenever the food is to her liking would go, "Bang, let's hug Ibu, pasal Ibu masak sedap. (Ibu's cooking is delicious)

Or my, ever bodekful Haziq, would go, "Ayah, Ibu masak sedap sangatkan? Gemuklah Haziq macam ni kan Ayah." Dad! Ibu's cooking is just superb. I can go fat like this

And my lover would do that shivering act of ecstasy.

Oh well…suffice to say, I think I will score in this KPI this year.

Just for the record ok, a domestic goddess will never ever bring in ayam goreng kunyit for pot luck. No way! My chicken will always be marinated with something. Normal spices, satay like spices, with flour batter or breadcrumb. Ayam goreng kunyit hanya sesuai untuk dimakan dirumah panas-panas.

You see, I can be hard on myself.

Breakfast Ideas?

We had breakfast pot luck at the club house in my compound. This is because we think it is the best way to warm up to a new Malaysian family in this compound. Anyone new to this compound means they just came from their respective countries.

So I cooked my only life long specialty, murtabak telur.Anyway it's a success. Twinned with my homemade chilly sauce, I think it's a great success in my standard. Remember I am new to this Domestic Goddess job scope, so the standard is, at the moment, quite moderate.

Apparently this breakfast potluck will be held on weekly basis! Every Friday! Oh dear! Oh dear! The seniors have organized fardhu ain class for the kids. At the moment it is held in the Malaysian Embassy which is far from everybody's house. Considering no one can afford houses within the area, which the rent is QAR30,000, and thus no one stay near there, so not many can make it. The new comers are mostly carless (like me). So they thought of doing the classes at the club house in this compound. And what better way to spend time among the parents, while the kids are learning, than to play fuzz ball, ping pong and eat and eat for the rest of us.

So breakfast potluck every week from then on.

Gee, I am so not good at this and I need ideas on what to do every week. I have come up with a list from the top of my head of things that I can do with the limited ingredients that I can find here. Please do not suggest karipap and the Malay kueh ..I really do not know how to make them.

So here is my humble list

Jemput-jemput

- Jemput-jemput ikan bilis with chillies of course dipped in my homemade sauce
- Jemput-jemput udang with chillies of course dipped in my homemade sauce
- Jemput-jemput udang with chillies and beansprout dipped in my homemade sauce
- Jemput-jemput udang with chillies and beansprout dipped in my peanut sauce
- HOW TO MAKE THOSE JEMPUT-JEMPUT YANG BESAR DAN TEMBAM SELALU MAKAN DENGAN ROJAK TU? Do you know?

- Jemput-jemput pisang

- Goreng pisang

Sweet stuff

- Pancake with maple syrup
- Bread pudding with custard sauce
- Apple crumble with custard sauce

Others

- Ubi rebus with sweet dessicated coconut (Yay! I made it today! Hilang kempunan.)
- Ubi rebus with sambal ikan bilis
- Sausages and baked beans and buttered sautéed button mushroom and scramble egg (my lover said this won't be popular)
- Sardine roll (bertique I want to see your recipe. Mine is always soggy)

The typical ones..mostly will be made by the seniors (yang lebih terer)

- Fried noodles
- Fried rice
- Coconut rice

I need help! Ideas please..

---

Even though I am now in Arab country, implying an Islamic country, but our children enroll in International School. Most schools do not teach Islamic knowledge, but Haziq's school does teach Quran and Arabic. Many other schools do not. Of course there are one or two schools that are Islamic in nature but for certain reason or two, I did not send Haziq there.

Anyway this is a cause for concern among us and we (when I said we, it's not really me. The credit all go to the pakcik and kakak yang prihatin) took advantage of the Ustaz Indonesia here.

Thus the Fardhu Ain class.

And thus the breakfast pot luck.

The adult classes are usually held at night in case you are wondering, at certain mosques.

Not feeling good today

I don't feel so good today. I woke up with a slight headache, blocked nose, itchy eyes and ached muscle. Ahh how I wish I can still lie there in the comfort of the warm duvet. But today I have to go out. I have to go for the immigration requirements. Get myself X-rayed, draw blood (again), and get necessary document stamped and all that.

So I got up. I looked terrible. Bad hair day and all. I feel terrible.

Got home later. The comfort of the bed was very inviting. Oh! How tempted I was. But I have lunch to make, clothes to hang, floor to sweep and mopped. Seriously there is nothing sexy about being a domestic goddess when you are sick.


The dotted fish.

I thawed garuopa earlier. The menu is sweet and sour fish. So I clean the fish and looked at it. My head giddy and I thought man this fish looks hideous. It has dots and the eyes are big. It scared me. So I quickly smother it with beaten eggs and flour.



Ah! Better.

But look at my wok. I don't have wok big enough to put the fish. So I have to fry it bit by bit. I know I know I could have used more oil, but I don't like. It'll be a waste of oil and I don't really like reusing oil particularly when it is used to fry fish, and even worst if you fry it using egg and flour batter.



So there I went frying bits by bit making sure that the tail doesn't come off. No domestic goddess will serve their fish with tail accidentally cut off like that. We don't serve imperfect food. Presentation is everything for a domestic goddess. Regardless she has a throbbing head. Which was made worst today because her arms ache as well. The lady was not gentle when she draw my blood today. Now it is red and blue. PFFFtttttt!

Oh! Yesterday I found beansprouts in a can. I bought one before at the Indonesia shop here. I didn't know that they sell it in normal sundry shop or kedai mamak I called it. The taste, well oklah.

But but I didn't get the chance to curl in the duvet. My lover came back home and still manage to take a nap.

I think I need an MC tomorrow. Do you think there's a chance?

Today

Today we all went to have our blood test. Somehow the company that my lover is working for need all these records. So we went.

It is the Muslim's calendar new year but it is not observe as a public holiday here. Unlike in Malaysia where it's public holiday for both Awal Muharram and Maulud Nabi. There is no stories of Awal Muharram in the children's school either. Or is it because they didn't go to school today. Blood test remember?

In fact today is another ordinary day. I probably wouldn't notice that it is awal Muharram if not for me reading it in the web and also the dates on the YM offline messages. Yes it has both the Gregorian dates and Islamic dates on the display.

I think I will just tell my kids the name of the Islamic months again and probably explain the significance of the month. You know Ramadhan: fasting, Syawal:Eid, ZulHijjah:Hajj, The forbidden months of war:Muharram, Rajab, DzulQaedah and DzulHijjah. Is it? Oh! No! I am so rusty. Help! And it was 1427 years ago when our beloved prophet moved to Madinah in his struggle to spread Islam.

Anyway we had our blood test. Only Sya cried. The boys didn't. Such a classic case of stereotyping, my children.

My children all have different blood type. This is probably because myself and my lover have different type of blood as well. Mine is A and his is B. So this combination can give you all blood type when mix together.

Hazig is a "B" which he detest. He wanted A like mine. What is it with him? Does he think everything is a competition?

Sya is an "O". With her crying and wailing I don't think I can ever ask her to donate any of her blood. ha ha ha

Zachary is an "A" which Makes Haziq ask why is it that he is not an "A". Anyway we also have Zachary's stem cell stored safely, Insya Allah, in Cyber Jaya. Hope we don't have to use it ever.

So now should I make another one just to complete the blood groups. An AB perhaps?

But what good an AB is? Only for oneself. But still another AB's blood can be used for another AB person in need eh?

Teori Saiz

Aku kadang-kadang malas betullah nak pergi shopping masa sales ni. Tapi ya lah dah kata sales tu naklah ambik peluang beli barang at discounted price.

Kalau kat Malaysia aku suka betul pergi Edmundser dengan Spade. Aku rasa kalau aku pakai baju tu macam sleek aje rupa, corporate gila. Aku rasalah. Tapi masalah kat Malaysia tu ialah saiznya sangat cinoni! Kalau aku pergi kena betul-betul selak cari saiz untuk aku. Kalau untung sabut, bolehlah saiz M tapi most of the time saiz L. Itupun kalau nak two-piece suit, baju top saiz lain, yang skirt or pants saiz lain. Dan yang paling sedih is apa baju yang paling cun tak ada dalam saiz aku. Oh! Sungguh mengecewakan.

Marks & Spencer sales kat sini. Hah! Inilah masanya untuk menambahkan pakaian dalaman. Kalau tak sales lebih kurang harga kat Malaysia..slightly less actually. Kalau sales lagilah murah. And again aku di hampakan dengan masalah saiz. To the contrary of the sizes kat Malaysia, kat sini saiznya besar-besar! Mak oi macam buah kelapa pun ada. Sampai cup G pun ada! Gila babi punya besar! Tapi briefs ok pulak. Ada jugak saiz normal 8-10 dan yang lebih besar pun adalah.

Dan sekali lagi aku di belenggu masalah mencari saiz yang sesuai. Adoi susahnya nak cari saiz.

Aku nak beli jeans pun susah. Pinggang dia boleh masuk dua kali pungkok aku. It's that big!

Aku punya teori is kat Malaysia ramai sangat orang bersaiz besar. Sebab tu masa sales tinggal saiz yang kecik aje ala-ala Ally MacBeal. Whereas kat sini, semua orang cinoni kot..tinggal saiz buah kelapa aje yang ada.

Wave of Sadness

My lover and I were having our normal chats in the kitchen when suddenly Zachary came rushing in, laughing, running away from his brother. Naturally he ran to me for "protection". The next natural thing to do is kiss him and tickle him lightly and pretend to chase him back. This is so that I could have my little quiet time with lover.

Hilarious these children.

Grinning, the both of us, "my lover asked, "Have you wondered what our children would be like when they are older. Would they still be good to each other and can laugh at each other, the way they are now? Do you think Haziq would be as lovable to his siblings as what he is now?"

"I don't, really," I replied. "But I hope so. I hope and pray that they would be close together and remain not just siblings but good friends."

"When we didn't have a child, I wondered if we could. When you got pregnant.."

"And a huge whale I was!"

"Well..you are fine now..when you were pregnant, I wondered how the child would look like. And now we know. Then I wondered what kind of toddler they would be. And now we see that Haziq is a friendly moving chatterbox, Batrisyia the sweet but quite fierce actually and we are yet to know what JackJack would be."

"Hmm..yeah. These are all phases of getting older for us you know?"

"I know. Those are happy phases. Waves of sad phases are yet to come and I am worried of it."

"Sad?"

"Our parents."

I know where this was coming from. My lover's uncle passed away on our third week here in Qatar. Pak Andak was younger than my father in law, whereas my father in law has his own history of heart problem. And my mother in law is not feeling well off late as well.

"Death is inevitable. You coming over here are destined as well. We must give them the best that we could as a child while we still can."

Then silence engulfed us, except for the shouting among the kids watching TV in the room nearby. We were all thinking about the same thing.

Oh lover, you do know that is one of the reasons that I was reluctant to come over. I cried when you were offered, for they were the only one thing in my mind. They are not getting younger and my mother already had a few toes removed due to diabetics. Do I not worry, if they were to leave the world without me nearby?

I had a drift with my mother after my first child was born. And despite they were often in KL with me, I still felt uncomfortable because deep down I was still angry. I was fighting with my stubbornness and responsibility as a child. But I let the drift dragged for years. Not that we do not talk to each other. We did, it's just that there was something missing. And the longer it went, the more difficult it became to even change.

A stranger woke me up one day and said something that made me change. I had made peace with my mum and myself actually sometime last year and I must say I had never been happier. Not that my mum know about it because I didn't say anything. The changes are within me. The way I feel about my relationship with my mother. I am a mother though, and I think she knows. I think she can see.

I was slowly making progress reconnecting myself with her, asking for recipes and chatting, just chatting. Mother and daughter. But it didn't get full swing just yet and we had to move here.

I cried so much and I am still crying now.

There are only the two of us, my brother. My brother who lives in another world. My parents relive their joy of twilight years most of the time with me. My children are their little source of happiness. I felt that I have robbed them from that. That I took the privilege away from them. Deep down I am worried that they wouldn't even get the chance to enjoy my children anymore.

I think about this a lot, ever since I got here.

In the end, I cried.

Did I also tell you, my brother, my only sibling, was admitted to the hospital yesterday for high blood pressure and stroke?

PARANOIA

I always take my time after fetching Batrisyia from school in the afternoon. We would stop at a bench in the small park midway to our house. JackJack would be happily running around. Most of the time we would finish up the food that I pack for Batrisyia's school break. The sun is quite fierce in the afternoon, but sitting under the shade, with the wind blowing is really nice and cooling. A great break after a whole morning of housework.

Yesterday two Indian ladies with their kids passed by and looked at me strangely. I thought they were the one who were strange. I wondered why they skipped the nice park. It is a shorter route and a much pleasant one rather than walking under the scorching sun. They were not discrete about staring at me though. They must have thought that I am a maid finishing up my employer's kids' food.

I don't like the way they stare. I really don't.

Today Batrisyia had extra special food. It was someone's party. Batrisyia's friend, Allisson who is a quarter Korean. So we gobbled up Bounty and Snickers and Batrisyia put on the party hat and blow up that thing that makes noise and roll paper out.

Then there was this boy, about five year old perhaps. He was cycling and when he saw us, he stopped and watched. He watched us for so long that I am beginning to get wary. But I let him. He went away after a while.

But he came back after that. And just watched us. Okay I know he is just a kid..but I don't like it. I do not know what kids are like here. With stories I heard, I don't think I like to know. I was beginning to imagine that he would come and snatch Batrisyia's party pack away. Not that they are anything of worth. And not that I couldn't stop him or anything. He is a kid for god's sake. I just don't like it. I don't like him just being there, watching.

So I told Batrisyia to hurry and pulled JackJack away. He followed. When I stopped for Zachary to pick some rubbish up, the kid stopped too. Batrisyia who was oblivious started to run ahead blowing that thing whatchamacallit. Then he cycled faster. I can hear the shackling of his rusty bicycle chain tinkling tankling. So I called out to Batrisyia in Malay to stay with me and I got angry when she didn't listen.

I shouted at Sya and I stopped. I told her to come to me for I am not happy with this bicycle boy.

He stopped too.

Now this is a kid. Should I be worried? For all I know he probably wanted to be friends. He probably wanted the chocolates. Or could it be that he was the one who was afraid to pass by me. Could it be that he was on his way home and was in fact surprised to see me there. His parents told him, be wary of strangers, particularly who gobble up their kids food.

But I am a mother. I have two kids with me. I just do not want anything to happen to any of us and I would be too clumsy to do anything. I do not want him to know where I live either.

They say, attack is the best defense.

So I made a stop. I turned to him. He stopped too.

Really he is just a kid.

I asked, "Where are you going boy?"

He just stared.

You are not following me eh?

He just stared.

Well, because if you are, it's not very nice okay? I don't want you to follow me alright? OK?

He just stared. Wide eyes and all.

Then I left and pulled the kids away and got home still looking back. In case he is still following.

You know what..I think he doesn't understand English.

Minyak Gamat

Why oh why
Did I not bring the magical ointment
The powerful potion
the one
that heal wounds in a blink

Little boys run
And fall
even on an even floor
Little teeth
sharp as razors
Zis Zas Tore

Blood blood blood
Swallow them
Spill them
Stop them! stop them! stop them!

No minyak gamat
Ibu sighs
Just dab on him
The magical ice

A Dream Came True

I dreamt I misplaced my handphone last night. I looked for it, but not hysterically. I was just taking my time. Then I saw someone, a male friend of whom I could not remeber who it was now, now that I am not dreaming anymore.

I asked him to ring me, so I could guess where my handphone is. I just knew it is nearby. But you know handphones, keys, remotes..they all have brain of their own and certainly have the habits to be scurrying away the moment you lay your eyes off them.

The guy obliged. I recited my Malaysian handphone number. Even in my dream I can still remember that number.

Then some ring tone. Ahah! But instead of actually locating my handphone, I woke up! Startled!

My handphone was ringing!

In the real world!

Pinch! Pinch!

Oh! I set the alarm at 5:15 a.m.!