Saturday, April 23, 2005

The Power of Forgiving

Sometimes good things happen when you least expected it.

I was surprised by an answer this week. An answer to a question I never ask. A question that had been lingering for many years left to rot. It has been rotting deep down within me. Like a dot of ink dropped on a sponge, it crept slowly. The malignant question.

I chose to ignore all these while. Time will heal. I didn't like talking about it. I am not proud of what happen, but I didn't like to be labelled either.So leaving things the way it is is the best bet.

I can live in pretense. So what?

Somehow I was told that this is not so. I was told that I was not at peace.

And all these came from a stranger. At least a person that I do not know well. Well, a quarter stranger if you may.

This person told me, You must forgive.

I must forgive? Me? I am the one who should forgive?

But...but ...shouldn't it be I am the one who seek for it? Everyone in their right mind would tell me...go seek for forgiveness. You have wronged, Lollies.

These many years, I have been wondering, composing on how to seek for mercy. I just can't make myself. And this person tells me, that it's me who should forgive!!! Someow, it doesn't make sense.

I contemplated. For the first time, I listen more than I speak. As cliche as the advice can be, it finally sank in me.

I must learn to forgive.

And I have forgiven.

To the person I forgave, I love you.

To the person who told me to forgive...I thank you.

Both with all my heart.

I finally found peace. Totally.

11 comments:

wan said...

although i don't understand the case.. but i understand the way u normally face it.. which is just like me.. whenever things get ugly wif somebody n i feel i'd done nothing.. i wud say i wud kill myself if im the one to offer any apologies.. if im the culprit, i wont hesitate at all.. but maybe as uve well said.. if i cud find peace by apologizing to all enemies ive made.. ill try.. but its sounds harder to start than to apologize.

atiza said...

engkau kenapa minah?

shidah said...

err...complicated. difficult to merapu on this one :) ...

Lollies said...

I am still a normal person wan..usually kalau orang biasa, I really would not give a hoot...but this is someone close. someone that matters.

biasalah aku suka besar-besarkan benda trivial. tapi aku ok..aku ok.

CikNi said...

so when you found peace- camane rupanya ek?

lollies said...

rupanya macam burung merpati putih terbang sejoli

AuntyN said...

Lol, walaupun tak tahu cerita ni apa background nye, tapi pernah sekali my friend sister-in-law told her strayed hubby, that I can forgive but I can't forget. I hope that you will forgive and eventually forget too. The peace of mind will be much more rewarding. It is easier said than done, I know.

lollies said...

It is easier said than done. Thank God my kesah tak ada kena mengena dengan lover I. Yang tu...I think it'll take more than that quarter stranger's advice for me to forgive. Maybe I'll forgive after I bobbit him. heh heh.

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