Thursday, April 14, 2005

Sadness Pangs

This morning, I felt the rush of sadness engulfing me. Zachary was up early as usual, playing with himself while I readied myself to work. Then Batrisyia got up and started ranting about wanting to go to Mama Ina's. Uggghh that girl always hit me where it hurt most.

Then I kissed Zachary and suddenly I was emotional. This is the first time that I am driving alone to work. I have been driving with my kids since 1998 since I had Haziq. And it's day in day out until yesterday.

The driving can be quite chaotic especially when Batrisyia is arguing with Haziq or when Zachary cries or babble. Usually they are the source of my entertainment (and headache too). I don't usually on the radio.

Intermittently, as I wait for the red traffic light, I will make faces with Zachary. There's never really a quiet time in the car.

Today as I idled in the car, staring at the traffic, the car seems quiet. Too quiet, despite VE was blaring Pop Yeh Yeh on the radio.

Jalan Klang Lama (Klang Lama Road)

There is no Zachary in the car seat. Thank God I've blogged about that

Zachary left his bear for me to play with

No one at the back laughing and tumbling in the car.

Empty back seats

I had to put up the volume. The quietness in the car deafens me. I need my usual decibel in the car.

I missed the noise. I miss everything. Even the occassional poo poo smell.

Sorry friends for the series of my sad entries and my sad mood. Just bear with me. I need time. I'll soon get back to Lolliesself. Just let me blow my stuffy nose first.


Anonymous said...

don't worry kak.. when you're on the high or on the low.. i still read it wif the same passion and concern.. heh. u will be ok.

atiza said...

you will always have my shoulder to cry on..hey! we went camping together what..

Lollies said...


atiza-aku nak hembus hingus sekali boleh?

Ni said...

come on lollies, cheer up
(nanti banyak lagi episod sedih- anak gi asrama, anak kawin.... uwaa!!)

Lollies said...


Anonymous said...

Where did you find it? Interesting read » »