HANKY PANKY

When I got to Manchester I found myself a room in a five-roomed house. My housemates are all my new found friends, a year senior than me. We were all given a task each to ensure the smooth running of the house management. I seriously think because I am the most junior, I was given the daunting task as the Public Relation officer.

This all started during my first week stay there, when Mr. Patel, our landlord came to my house shouting about rent increase and how the girls have cheated him. My housemate was arguing with him as well. Somehow I must have said something really strong. I can't remember what it was. I am like that sometimes. When I am not thinking I can say something really strong either quick-witted one or something harsh. Now older, not wise enough, I try to refrain the latter.

Anyway, Mr. Patel stopped short. In fact everyone. Then Mr. Patel hushed down his voice and we began to discuss in a more impeccable manner. And that was the mark of my unlucky new post in the house.

Ms Lollies the Public Relation Officer I am from that day on. Any matters regarding Mr. Patel was handled by me. I remembered when he questioned me about the actual number of people in the house. I said five Mr. Patel. There are only five. He didn't believe it. There are too many shoes, he said. I had to take out all my six shoes. I have six shoes and I am not a shoe fanatic. My other hosemate has more than ten for God's sake.

Of course the frequent visit to Mr. Patel has advantages too like dinner, borrowing pots and pans and also discounts on rent during summer.

Anyway, I also have to deal with everyoene else. The Norweb guy, the TV license people, Jehovah Missionaries and many more.

So there is this one time when our gas was not working properly. So I set the appointment and the repair guy came. The funny thing about the water heater is that, it's hot temporarily. But if you are the third person trying to take a shower and is just about to rinse off your shampoo, the water turns freezing cold.

I was trying to explain this to the repairman, for when he came the water was hot. So we had to let the water run for a while until it turn cold. So there we were waiting. So I talked with him, offered some tea for that is what the Brits do. They drink tea and some custard biscuits. We talked for a while, then he said to me..

What about a hanky-panky?

I stared at him for a good few seconds, then I said,

You want a handkerchief? Oh! I don't have any, what about the kitchen tissue?

And I proceeded to get some tissues for him.

He stared back at me. He looked a bit perplexed.

Why? Kitchen tissue not good enough for you. I said.

Oh this is fine. Thank you

And he moved on with his work. No more word.

Everything is done, I said thank you, the typical Asia way. And he left.

That night, I told my housemates what he said. They, wide eyes, knock my head and exclaimed.

"I don't think Lollies is safe with any of these people. We must teach her more vocabolaries!"

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Now after 13 years, thinking back..I am so thankful nothing happen.*shudder*