Monday, June 13, 2005


This month is the month for fathers. I will join the hype and will hopefully give justice to my father.

I call my father Ayah. Ayah means daddy in my language.

First of all, if there is someone to be blamed for me not reading a romance book, then it is my Ayah. I remembered when I was 13, I was reading the Sweet Dreams and Sweet Valley High books, and he took it away from me. He said no reading of such books. They will do nothing to you except corrupt your mind and take you to la-la land. I had to sneak at night to read those books. La-la land? Enid Blyton is full of la-la land Ayah.

He was a strict man, as much as I can remember during my teen life. My curfew was at 7 p.m. I remembered getting some good beatings for coming home late with no good reasons. Oh! Yes! He was strict.

He was also the reason that I never had a boyfriend during my teen life. He follows me nearly everywhere I went. He even spied on me. All datings, letters and phones must be kept hush hush with the help of my ever supportive friends.

When I came back from my university days, he saw loads of pictures of my then boyfriend (now lover). My lover with his long hair and all.(Yum! Yum!) He asked me, whether this young man is serious with me. I got shivers by that question. I think I said, I suppose so.

My lover was still in England then. He must have impressed my dad, because soon after that, my lover sent his parents to masuk meminang. Walhalnya I didn't tell him anything. I ingat nak enjoy dulu. Now my father adores his only son in law. They are the best of friends.

My father has somewhat a youthful look in him. Just look at his photos during his wedding. He was 25 then. But I think he looks, what…seventeen? And my mum is actually taller than he is. In Malay culture, purportedly, when the wife is taller than the husband, it indicates the prospect of good tidings. Well..they had me. What more can any parents ask?

Even now, at 60, my father looks younger than his age. Whenever I am with him, people will always think that he is actually my brother. I am not even sure whether I should be happy for him or actually feel insulted. I mean, do I look that old?

My father’s tips to young age, he said, is to have a pure heart. Do not have malice in your heart. Be good to your parents. I can’t tell you just how much I hate listening to this when I was a child. I felt that he thinks I have a bad heart. I have so much malice in my heart and that I will disobey my parents one day. But now I am beginning to understand what he is saying. Growing old does make you understand your parents better, I think.

My father always put his parents at the utmost priority. Regardless of what. Treat your parents well, and you will be save in both worlds, he said. There was bad vibes among my grandparents and my family when I was young, but regardless, my dad stooped low and kisses his parents foot. Forgive me if I have done wrong o’ parents. I remembered irking him for that. But my father said, whoever is at wrong is for God to judge. My responsibility in this world is to my parents. I am not even sure whether I can be at par with him, when he can forgive that easily.

My father is also a very people person. Nearly everyone can warm up to him. He is a warm person. He knows nearly everyone in my neighbourhood. And he doesn’t even live here.

When I was young, I hated nearly everything that my father said. Mainly because I was rebellious.

He loves Elvis. God! I had to listen to his hundreds of Elvis collection..I nearly hate that guy..Elvis I mean.

I hated his obsessiveness on the hifi system. He is forever doing something.

I hated his idea of forgiveness. I mean, people have done bad…so why be good to them.

I hated him spying over me.

I didn’t like his idealogy.

But now..I can slowly see his point of view..particularly on be good to your parents..regardless. And I can understand why he spied on me..I have children of my own too now. I have worries.

And also, now I don’t hate Elvis that much. Well…he was OK.

I also love my Ayah.

If you know him, you’d probably love him too.


Anonymous said...

when you wrote that your dad is a people's people..i imagined your dad as 'kuih manis' swarmed by bees, ants and the likes...

i guess the 'manis' went to you as you are such a sweet and people person yourself..*hugs*

MA said...

Hey ! I love Elvis too, you know.

We will only understand our parents once we become a parent ourself.

Anonymous said...

aie-waduh waduh...ko memang best...hugs

mak andeh-do you know that my father can sing Elvis really well. And you are so right

Sunfloraa said...

Awwww so sweet!

Anonymous said...

mummy's father. so i shud address him as grandpa then.. me love grandpa too.. he's very philosophical. kind hearted which is a very rare commodity nowadays. and elvis? its like the icing on the cake. happy birthday mummy's father aka grandpa!

Anonymous said...

u r lucky lucky lucky

Anonymous said...

thank you thank you tiang kayu

Anonymous said...

ayoooo anon is me

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