Friday, August 19, 2005

Life : A Random Babbling

I have not been feeling good this week. I have been coughing so hard, now my voice has become coarse and my throat hurts. The thing is, I am not even sure whether it is an unproductive cough, or chesty cough or even a dry cough. It felt like all of them. I can feel the phlegm but my throat hurt as well.

And my flu. What kind of flu is this? I can't blow it but I know it's there all the time. My nose is stuffed. And I can't do anything.I can't breath through the nose, so I had to do it through my mouth making my throat even drier.

To top it, I even have mouth ulcer on the tounge or rather at the side of my tounge. Braces and mouth ulcer is really a bad combination. These two are evil. The braces scraping the ulcer is really killing me. So when I eat, it hurts to chew because of the ulcer and it also a pain to swallow due to the sore throat.

But did that stop me from eating. No way man! My appetite never dwindle, rain or shine, healthy or sick, pain or painful. I will never allow such pain to stop me from my journey of eating. Well in a way, I did allow them to stop me. Today during the long Friday lunch break, I didn't go out. I am still in the office because I am so not well. I have eaten though. A good portion of chicken rice with two chickens.

What! I am hungry okay!!

Anyway my kids are all not well either. And my lover was not at home. I came back yesterday to a coughing Haziq, feverish Batrisyia and Zachary is still down with fever. I sponged both Sya and Jack2. Sya was okay later that night but Jack2 was still not well. Even this morning.. *Sigh* I am so tired.

My lover came home, LATE, last night from Kuantan. He brought a lot of food, otak-otak, satah and kueh akok. But I can't eat any. It hurts too much. I am not sure the fact that he was late or the ulcer in the mouth. Errrr did I say earlier that my appetite never dwindle? Well..forget I said it.

Sometime at 11 last night when I am tryiing to put Jack2 to sleep (again), Sya came to my bed and started to play with Jack2. I mean it's okay to play. But it's near midnight! And why is this girl not asleep. I am already drowsy with all the medication. Tired. Sleepy. Stuffed nose. Not factors to keep my mood chirpy even for a cute song. I shouted at Sya and told her to sleep in her own bed and leave Zachary.

Then quiet. Sya left, instantly.

Then I felt bad.

My auntie in Kuantan has three kids. Really healthy and plump kids. At least seemingly healthy.

Her second child, the only girl, passed away back in 2003. She had Hepatitis A. I was there when she last drew her breath in Hospital Selayang. She was there for a month. Yellowish and water retention was making her bigger day by day. She was only 14 then.

Now my auntie's eldest child has the same symptom too. So this is all like dejavu. The flashback quickly flashes in front of you rewinding itself day by day. He is now in Kuantan hospital.

I can only pray.


Soon I felt bad for Sya. I mean what was I thinking. So I went to her and hugged her and said sorry. She turned, sad and angry face. I said I need a hug. Then she hugged me and put her face on my shoulder and sobbed.

Bless my child Allah and take care of her. Take care of all my children


Little life amongst the lemon grass


Ni said...

get well soon lollies n kids

Anonymous said...

get well soon..
musim demam skrg nih..
the air is still bad..

Anonymous said...

tulah dia..and dia orang kata next week haze balik. adussss

superunknown said...

rest well sis lollies. get well soon.

and amin to ur prayers. InsyaAllah, good kids they will become.

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