Clear Skin Not

I envy those with clear skin. Those who have clear skin effortlessly. Those who can travel long hours and still have skin like porcelain. Those who can go through an environment change and their skin perpetually remains the same if not glowing.

I am not in the lucky group.

After about a month I was in the UK for my study, I had really really dry skin. I came with normal skin, and one day I woke up (it could have been a few days drying but I did not notice) and I could not smile. My skin was so dry it hurts. My lips chapped. The cold helped aggravate the situation.

I went to get help at the local Body Shop store. The sales assistants were really helpful. They gave me so many samples of moisturiser for me to test. So I realised then that I actually need moisturiser. Silly me.

Then I came back to Malaysia with beautiful skin. Everyone was commenting on that. It stopped when I started working. I started having those small pimples macam jerawat nasi tapi banyak on both of my cheeks. It didn't help because I had to go to sites and most of the time I had to stand under the hot sun looking at substations. I didn't know what to do.

There was this lady with wonderful skin. I asked what did she do. Did she go for facial. She said no. She just washed normally with off the counter brands aje. Lucky her.

I was going to get married that time. Ooohhh look at my skin as ugly as can be. It's almost like kulit durian. Finally I went for facial at a relatively cheap salon. It worked! Yayyyy! People even commented I had good skin. Thank God tak berbekas.

Then I remembered moving office. The pimples exploded again. This time medium sized ones. I remembered this era. My lover was err out of job. We were utterly broke. Forget facial. I had to endure my pimpled face. Hey I blogged about this once. Wait eh. Ah HERE

Then I moved to Qtar. A month staying there, more pimples come in. This time its those big sized ones and the scar refused to go. It took months for it to clear up. And two pimples will come up when the first one has not even cleared up. Those who met me when I came back when my mum was in ICU can attest to this. When I was in Malaysia for two months that time, I managed one facial treatment. Not much help I suppose.

But after sometime in Qtar, my skin turned normal. It still has black dots and spots. Batrisyia keep saying this. What do you expect, my face is those type which needs extra pampering. If use normal selfwash, nothing happen.

Anyway, when I came back some said I glowed. My skin so clear. Some said I looked younger. Wah wah wah biar betul ni. But they speak too soon. After a month here some rashes (so I thought) developed on my jaw. Then it spreads up on both of my chin. Then some of them have isi like pimples. I did facial once and yes some are isi. But I think the rest are unidentified explosion of skin. Small but yet so irritating to my hands when I touched it and my eyes when I looked at the mirror.

Bencilah. I don't know what to do. I really get worked up by all this. Low self esteem. Insecure all come in.

I am going back to Qtar tomorrow. When I should be looking good to see my lover, now I looked at my worst!