Monday, March 08, 2010

Impatience

I think by now my quran teacher can tell what my personality is. Just by listening to me read and correcting me and listening again and yet has to make corrections.

I have a tendency to read fast. Not fast like a those reciters who are fluent but more because I tend to run over my dengung and sometimes my mad. And now my teacher has become more detail and keep correcting me on my lin letters (lam, nun, ain, mim, ro) and all those letters that have shaddahs (sabdu). And sometimes she would use hand gestures for me to follow her tempo like a conductor in the orchestra so i could follow the softness of the ayah that I am reading.

And I notice my heart aches when I read to her tempo. And when I take time and concentration in the letter like that with a shaddah , my heart squeezed. It squeezes in thomping manner. I feel agitated and impatient. Teruk betul aku ni.

This is the same feeling I have when people keep asking me to repeat what i said because they couldn't hear or when someone didn't answer my question or taking too long to answer my question or watching people who do not using shortcutkeys on the keyboard but uses mouse instead or taking a longer route to complete a process when there is a shorter way or anything that is too slow for my liking and also that particularly irritating chat convo I had just a few days ago :P.

And I have no idea why I feel like that when I am suppose to make my reading beautiful. Is it because I feel if I read more I am actually learning more? So I feel that I must rush? But I think my habit is I like things fast. Like I would feel the car in front of me is always slow.

So this is something I need to work on. My agitated heart. If I can read the quran the way my teacher is teaching me to read, i pray that it will help me tame this sebuku daging inside of me.

7 comments:

أم الليث said...

all the best!
i pun mcm u jugak. suka baca laju2. bila org betulkan..ish rimasnya kene baca balik ayat tuh. lambatlah. hehehe

i have read this one hadith (authentic - i just can't find the matan) abt masa kat akhirat nanti we will be asked to recite the Quran as we did in dunya. then our ranks will increase in Jannah according to the speed at which we read the Quran.

so if we had read really fast then our rank wouldn't be as high as someone who read slowly

abi said...

memang ada banyak kelajuan baca quran ni. yang paling baik ialah tartil. maknanya, tak laju sangat, tak perlahan sangat. cukup segala sifat dengung, mad dan segalanya. kalau 2 harakat sebegitu, sepanjang bacaan 2 harakatnya sebegitu. itulah tartil. dan itulah yang terbaik. ia datang dengan latihan. bacalah perlahan-lahan dulu dengan memastikan semua hukum bacaan tepat dan difahami. kemudian bolehlah menambahkan kelajuan sedikit demi sedikit. insyaAllah.

Dills said...

you ckp pun lajuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...khekhehee...

butterflutter said...

aaaahhhhh same here lah lollies. Its hard to change some of our habits *sigh. Always at the back of my mind but sooo difficult to change. Need lots of practice. All the best to you.

Hansac said...

Agree with Dills. Our Puan Lollies is a fast-speaker. What do you expect from someone who drives 160 km/h AS IF.

Lollies said...

aliya - my teacher kept repeating that hadith in mafhum. and each time she said it, she looks like she will cry.

abi - now she is asking us to practice surah maryam sebab most of the endings ada shaddah. so a test on how much time we take on our shaddah. pastu dia pandang I. ooppss

dills - ehmanaadaicakaplajulajuicakapslowajetautakperacayatanyaihahahahahahhaha

BF - and to you too. :)

hansac - adoimak! see you pun tau i tak drive lajukan. i bawak 80km/h aje. i punheran asal i asik kena speeding ticket ni. tak adil!

De'Magpie said...

Baca Quranpun secara konsistenpun dah cukup baik....