I am Such A Friggin' Emo

This last few days in the office is making me really emo. Have been going for numerous lunches, breakfast, taking opportunity raya at people's hosues and saying goodbyes, calling people to my house and saying goodbyes.

All these goodbyes and kisses and hugs are making me even more difficult to swallow the big lump in my throat and cry as the days of my departure is getting nearer. I am so friggin' emo, am I not?

When I first moved to this new office, (Read my clever way of hiding secret stuff during movement here In Disguise), I was supposed to get a room. But of course in a big organisation, bureaucracy and budget allocation can slow things down. So only now that they are starting the office renovation. ONLY NOW! And yesterday I had to move my computers (so I can maintain blogging in the office. I don't do any real work here anymore) to a temporary corner while they make a room out of my cubicles.

So I was staring at it while they ripped my cubicle off naked. And I got friggin' emo.

People in the office are coming to me asking for my flat 17" monitor. One of them wanted my Altec Lansing speakers and subwoofer. They are now arguing over my vacant room which has windows. One of them already wrote necessary letters to ensure that he got my parking spot. And I got friggin' emo.

But it's okay, I am alright with all those. They are giving me presents also. I even got a 200GB external hard disc. Wah lau wei! Am I not the favourite rose here in the office?

Anyway, I couldn't stand it yesterday, listening to the wrecking, drilling and sitting through dust in the office being emo and all. I forced a friend for lunch. A friend who is outside my office world. I had lunch at KLCC even! I just need to get out of the office and I also wanted to see this guy before I go off. Mana tau boleh tap sikit berkat yang ada kat dia.

I was having lunch listening to his amazing stories and that's when my office mate smsed me. She said today is her last day for she is talking a one week leave. She wanted a last hug with me but I was out lunching and still lunching at three. She said something off mintak maaf jika diau ada buat aku terasa and all. And I lost all my machoness and my eyes got warm and watery. Focus Lollies! Focus! You don't want this guy to see you crying. Perhaps my lunch mate find me crazy and wondered what's with me. Sorrylah, I am just friggin' emo.

Then I went back to the office to find more presents waiting for me. Two beautiful coloured recipe books from a few of my office mates. I stayed for a bit and ran off driving around Damansara, Kelana Jaya and god knows where. I didn't even punch out yesterday. I was that friggin' emo.

In attempt to divert my mind's off this emo stuff, showed my friend some pictures off my camera. I showed his some art sculpture thing I devised out of two little patung kecil. One boy and one girl in a very compromising positions. Pornographic for some to be shown here.

And finally we were both convinced that I was supposed to be born as a boy. My parents must have secretly wished that they had a boy as their first child but had a beautiful girl instead. And the fact that the baby was beautiful, they thanked God and raised me accordingly.

I am running away at the slight notion of losing machoness, I cannot handle emotion well, I am mixing with the guys more than girls and they think I am their best friend, I like certain art too :-P. Could it be that emotionally, I am a man?

But that's only myth about man kan? Don't mind me, a friggin' emo person. They can't think rationally anyway

The Surroundings of My Little Hut

Many asked what would I do to my house when I leave for Qatar. The answer is, I will just leave it the way it is. I am not renting it nor am I selling it. For I need a place to stay when I come back to Malaysia later. Plus I still have some junks in the house and I don't think I like the idea of people using those. My parents will probably come once in a while to see the house.

I will certaily miss my house particurlaly when it gets hot in Qatar later. I live right next to the Air Hitam Forest Reserve where the forest is semi dense. The area is cool and is always foggy especially when it rains.

When it stop raining, and little sun peaked out..I would walk around or linger with the kids. It would be very pleasant indeed. Ada ala-ala macam kat UK gitu except that no asap keluar dari mulutlaaa.



This is a picture of somebody else's house. My house is not photogenic enough to be shown on the web.

The thing about living next to the forest is of course the monkeys. Those little rascals were always up to something at our houses. Ni yang jenis kera ni. Small ones. They can slip through the grills even. We have donated them jemput-jemput, limau mandarin and bananas, of course unwillingly. We had to tell off our neighbour's maid who thinks feeding monkey is cute and very animal lover act. But this, as a matter of fact, will only encourage them to make a city out of the neighborhood's area.



Jom take a walk at the alley behind my house. Can you see the fence? That's the border of the housing area and the forest. There is also a monsson drain there. During heavy rain, you can hear the rush of water and imagine that you live near the river.



The signboard says, HUTAN SIMPAN KEKAL - DILARANG MASUK. I don't know how kekal is this kekal. There were talks of Anak Toyo tu nak buat development kat sini. After the Bukit Cerakah story, things have been quiet. We'll see how far this forest can be there.

Anyway, besides monkey, someone stumbled across a female phython sometime ago. A real big one. I think it's the size of my thigh. And my thighs are big. Some Indonesian renovation guys beat it up to my horrors. The bomba pun satu cekadak. When we called, they said, tak ada sapa ke yang nak ular tu. Can you handle it. When they came 2 hours later and the phython was beaten up to near death, they told us this is an extinct species. I was pregnant with Zachary and people were giving me strange tales about this cruel death of the boa constrictor. I pity the phython. I think it was trying to grab one of the monkeys and stumbled down the cliff and couldn't make it up.

Anyway because of this I tak jadi nak buat little Bali kolam with fish and all. Tak rela saya kalau kolam tu nanti ada ular melingkar pulak kang.



This is Haziq and his best friend, Omar, our neighbour's son. Ni betul-betul belakang rumah I.

I am going to miss my little hut, with or without the little kolam bali.

Pot Luck Disaster

Sesuatu pot luck boleh jadi disaster kalau orang tak ikut kata organiser atau ada orang bawak yang jauh lebih sedap dari apa yang aku masak. Huwaaaaa.

Hari ini ada pot luck kat opis aku. Soma dah ditugaskan bawak ikut main dish. Aku bawak nasi minyak. Ada bawak kari kambing, acar nenas and biasalah nasi impit and the whole gang bank, tukang buat air exotic tanpa alkohol, bawak buah grape tanpa biji, puding buat sendiri, sambal buat sendiri. Pendek kata syaratnya buat sendiri.



Tapi ada pulak makcik baru ni yang bila orang tanya nak bawak apa rahsia, rahsia. Tak nak kasi tau apa dia mau bawak. Tau tak apa dia bawak? Dia pi cater nasi arab apa entah yang ada campur daging, satu set lagi campur ayam, cater kari udang, paceri, acar. Tapai pun dia cater. Dia tau tak aku dah cop nasi??!!!!



Macam ni, dia ajele bawak semua. Cater habis. Tak payah buat pot luck.

Sekarang nasi aku dah berlebih-lebih. Sapa nak habiskan? Bungkus bawak balik? Sedih aku tau. Plus aku ada berlambak-lambak open house hari ni. Sapa yang nak makan tu?

Pas tu, korang pun tau aku tak geti masakkan? Penat aku masak malam semalam. Macamana aku nak compete dengan nasi arab yang banyak haiwan terselit-selit celah nasi tu!!!!

So how?

I met a friend sometime ago who has amazingly slim down after givng birth. For I am quite an understanding person and also a natural motivator, I asked her, so how did you get this svelte figure so quick dahling. You look great. I said envily, while tucking in the flabs under my tight granny white girdle.

She said, listen ok, "Oh! Easy peasy Lollies. All I did was, I stopped snacking on the biscuits and chocolates and brownies. You know how I love cookies. But they are the real culprits. So I just stop eating them and I slimmed down. Good eh? Surely Lollies, you can do it too." She said, glancing at my escaped flabs.

Hmmm..so I can do it too.

My only problem is, I don't snack on cookies nor brownies nor biscuits at all. And I am cautious on chocolates too.

And I am still fat!

How maaa?

Happy Angry

Haziq : Ibu can someone be happy angry?

Know-everything Ibu : When you're happy, you're happylah. Asal pulak nak happy and angry

Haziq : But Haziq tengok ada yang boleh happy angry?

Still know-everything Ibu : Iya ka? Sapa?

Haziq : Mojo Jojo tu.

Haziq : Dia ketawa, tapi Haziq rasa sebenarnya dia angry. Happy angry lah tu




Oh okay. Tu banyak juga aku buat tu. Bebudak pun boleh nampak tau orang berlakun ke sincere ni. Expression muka tu penting. And expression muka pun lahir dari hati. Unless kita sanggup berlakun aje all the time. Even babies can tell when their mother is in bad mood or sad and sometime, they reciprocate.

Tapi yalah kesian jugak mojo jojo tu. Dulu he was a normal monkey. Entah apa silap professor tu punya ujikaji, tetiba dia ada brain besar bagak, making him super smart. And then professor dah ada power puff girl yang all sweet spice and smell nice, dah dia lebihkan powerpuff girl. So bengkaklah jugak mojo jo tu.

Hah ni ada lagi satu yang I can think off. The Joker from cerita Batman. Man he definitely has issues

Pink Sya's Concert

Look at what they Sya wear for her concert yesterday! All pinkness! But that's okay. Look at the ribbons on her arms. I would probably not get that gown for that thing on her arm. And if she were older, she wouldn't want that either. It makes her a bit errr plump. Shhh don't tell her that.



She was all excited. Why wouldn't she. She finally get to put make up on her face. I don't usually like that. But I have been little girl before. And stage time means make up time. And like many other little girls with lipstick on, they don't seem to be able to close their mouth. Perhaps the weight of the lipstick was too heavy on her.





Then the teacher got her tiara and when flocked together, I thought they look really nice. Like one of those animated barbie doll fairy-princess series. Isn't that the dream thing for girly little girls. Why is it some parents do not like their little girls to be a girl? Does being girly girls show lack of strength?

I had to breastfeed Zachary to sleep and I wrongly chose the camera setting for my lover. Thus the blurry pictures. But just enjoy the essence of pinkness.

The Colourful Muar

Welcome to Bandar Muar. The colourful Muar Town. There this one year, Muar has changed its' colour to pastel. And every row ada different colours. I must say, okay jugaklah effort ni. Nampak macam Europe pulak sikit-sikit. Kalau Majlis Daerah Muar Selatan tu boleh solvekan masalah orang double parking tu mesti lagi best.

Muar ni jalan dia mostly one way street. On both sides of the road, boleh parking kereta secara side parking. Sebab tulah aku terer side parking. Imagine bawak kereta bapak aku yang tak ada power steering tu, aduss berposak-posak jugaklah nak masuk side park. Pulak tu tengah on the look out nak cari parking, orang rapat aje kat belakang.

Lagi satu, waktu tengahari most shops akan turunkan blinds yang ada nama company kedai tu, sebab nak avoid panas matahari. So imagine yourself walking along the alley of the shops, you can't really see the view outside, because of the blinds. Yang you boleh nampak are the sparrows flying around above you.

So one afternoon, I was walking, crossing the street. It was a quiet afternoon. There were not many cars. There were not many people. It was hot. All blinds were down.

I can still remember crossing a particular street. I remembered noticing a van. A black van. The kind of van where there were no windows at the back. The one that people use to forward goods. Like I said, Muar is full of one way street. The vehicles were all coming from my left. And thus the van. It drove slowly, I remembered. It was so slow, that I was sure it was going to stop. Presumably, the van wanted to do double parking.

Then I heard, the van's passenger door slides open. In that split second, a thought crossed me, why is the van opening the door when it has not come to a proper halt. I looked at the driver. It was a man, and there was another man beside him. I felt that they were looking at me. I sense that the van was approaching me. I also felt that the van was actually trying to stop right behind me.

I then thought something is just not right. Then I changed direction. I walked faster to the right and walked within the many motorcycles parked at the road side. Then walked further into the shop alleys where I can hide behind the blinds. I peeked, the van was in front of me now. Stopped. There were men, whom I can only see their shadows at the back. I felt their eyes on me though. I felt that they were talking and strategising and were still looking at me. Like pack of wolves about to pound on a rabbit. Then the rabbit ran. The opposite direction, still within the alley. The van can't reverse. (One way street). Then I crossed the street. Still being aware of them. I stopped and looked. I know, unless the men run out of the van, they can't get me for they can't reverse without being honked and noticed.

Probabbly they decided, that running out would create a scene, which is best to avoid.

Then the van moved on, slowly. No one came out of it.

I wanted to have a haircut that day. I changed my mind and went home.

I am not sure what it was all about. But I have a feeling, though, that I wouldn't be here typing this if I had not been aware of my surroundings that afternoon. When I read stories of women being abducted, gang raped, sold off, I remembered that afternoon. Of course I can't be sure. For all you know, they were only lost.

But I ain't gonna take chances. If they were to grab me, no one would know and no one would see. The blinds would have blinded others and I'd be gone in a split second and perhaps manage a "ahh", a very lame scream.

This story, of course, is no way related to the colourful Muar.

The Date!

I think most of my ever faithful followers readers would probably know about me uprooting the whole family to go to a foreign land in the middle east, Q@t@r (I guess I need to put the @ thing eh?) If you are my new cult follower, you might want to read about my arduous decison here (Name this country and A Letter to Lollies Lover and This Whole Thing About Qatar). Otherwise just take my word for it that I shall be leaving to Qatar soon.

Those who know, and probably are genuinely going to miss actually having to see me everyday or miss having the notion that I shall not be blogging from Malaysia anymore, have been asking me, when am I actually going.

May I digress? I have learned not to be annoyed or afraid of people asking me the "when" questions. Unlike my lover. He has not mastered the art of accepting and answering the question.

I got engaged with my lover in September 1995 and got married in May 1997. I have endured the question of when are you getting married esecially from my parents who wanted me to marry as soon as possible. Urrgghhh

I got married in May 1997. Some people expect that you should conceive preferbally on the day you first make out with your lover. I remember the face of many makciks looking at me coming out from my room that morning. You know the morning when we are an actual husband and wife. Eeeii makcik-makcik ni, entah apa dalam kepala dia orang ni agaknya. I conceived, I think later in the same year.

Then while being pregnant, people are asking me, how many months are you on. And the child's sex. And when are you going to pop. I have been pregnant three times.

Then you have one child. And people are asking you, when is the next one.

Now that I have three kids, people are still asking me, when is the next one.

But people now have new questions for me. So when are you going to Q@tar?

My lover, who was at hist wits end since he has not received his visa yet and it has been seven months ago since the interview, couldn't face the deadly question.

But, me, I, Lollies can because Lollies is used to question. Lollies answer question gracefully for she is a true princess. I am actually greatful for the question because I know people love me. People ask because they care. Okay! Shut up for people who ask but just for the fact they only wanted my room in the office and my great car park (did I mention that the lady who took care of the office car parks actually gave me a great space because..I don't know why..because of nothing actually. No special favours. She just wanted to give it to me)..but as for other people, thank you for the concern.

Did I also mention to you that I babble when I am nervous or trying to divert your attention elsewhere. Hoping that you are bored with all these and would hit the comment box and not notice what I would be typing after this. We got our visa yesterday and would most likely be leaving on the 12th December. Why do I do that..because I do not want you to see me sad.

I am going to type some more since I am sure you are going to miss that paragraph. So, anyway, looking at the date it is very likely that I won't be able to make it on the third modbloggers meet up which I am already sad about. Elisa would be there so I can't hear from he about Al Khob@r. And I am sure it would be a blast. I think Nutty would be there too.

I am thinking about my parents alot and I am getting a big headache since yesterday. A real headache. You get that when you cry too much and also when you are trying to stifle a cry.

My lover's mum, my mother-in-law, was admitted to the hospital for short of breath last night. This is her second time. The last one was on the last fasting month. Not this year, the one before.

I think someone else in my household will also get a headache.

I love y'all.

Read Out Loud!

Now, now we all know that one of the best ways to spend quality time with your children is to read to them. Be it read to them, with them, listen to them read or seemingly reading or even you read alone, whatever. Reading is an activity worth to take up, anytime!

Reading is like killing many birds with one stone. You are encouraging early literacy, you get to spend time with them, bonding with them, you get to make them sit, they get to cuddle up with you and many other activities that can come out of reading activities.

It is also probably the easiest. I mean, you may not be able to

paint or draw or do paper mache because it end up being messy. Not to mention they would want to squeeze colour or glue as much as they can. they want to use scissors.

mould play dough. The only most creative thing that you can make out of play dough is a worm or a thin snake.

Too lazy to solve jigsaw puzzle

Gardening is messy

And you have put up the Barney VCD way too long now and is feeling dead guilty already.

So go on, read to your child.

But then the experts say, don't just read, but talk to them. Oh yes! Put life to your reading! Bring out the pictures and the words.

Oh! Look! Fingers! Let's count your fingers. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine and TEN!. Tickle! Tickle your tummy. Tickle your ears. Stick your finger into your nose! See! Subconciously they learn anatomies and numbers.

Big, red Ball Open arms wide for big
Small, blue ballMake small gesture to indicate small.
.
Thus they learn colours and sizes.

And and and..make reading fun. Let's add some singing. See they smile. And when they laugh with sparkling eyes, you know you got them. You know they are enjoying it. Even when litlle JackJack is clueless to the rhyming, singing is always fun.

And when they ask you to repeat, you know it's working.

Then they ask again. Shove the book for you to read and sing.

And you sing, yet again

And again..
And again..
And again..
And again..
And again..
And again..
And again..
And again..
And again..
And again..

Under an un-controlled situation, the iteration will not converge. Thus the loop will repeat until Ibu faints..


Hello! I am a HAIRY SCARY BEAR (insert big scary voice). Listen to me GROWL. GRRRRRRR

Sya's First Hair Cut

Batrisyia was born with full crop of hair, unlike her brother who was super bald. Sya had this spiky hair in her first few months. She was called Don King because of that.

I've always thought that she would have straight hair. When she was one, I could see her curls coming. People are always commenting about her curls, which I must say is quite nice. In fact, I had to perm mine to get those curls..and it cost a bomb and nowhere near pretty like hers.

Sya never had a haircut since like forever. Somehow I like her baby curls, so I let it grow.



But off late, it has been getting a bit too long and slightly unmanageable. So I think, it is good time for a change.

We have been putting off the idea of cutting it, when I say we, I really mean my lover. He was the one who is incredibly worried about Sya's hair. He was telling me, make sure the hair is still nice. Make sure it is not too short. Make sure she still look like a girl. Do you think he is hinting my short hair? Do you?

Anyway, after four years of beautiful curls. Snip! Snip! Off the curls went.

So, everyone, please welcome the new Sya.






She started off smiling but was sulking afterwards. Now she is okay with her new hair.

But it's not Sya that I am worried about.

Her dad has also given his ok with the new hair.

Phew! Overlah pakcik tu.