Weekend Trip

I went to my in-laws' house last weekend. It is about one and a half hour drive, door to door. This is my father's first time being alone after my mother passed away. *Sigh*

I was driving in the rain crossing the Muar River when I looked at the rear view mirror and saw Batrisyia. Her eyes were watery. I asked, "Sya is crying? Why? Why are you crying?" I was seriously trying to recall whether I snapped at her earlier on.

Have you ever ask a woman (or a girl) why she is crying? You know what would happen? The sobs would get heavier and you still get no answers. But do not stop there. Ask her gently. Pull her closer to you. "Why are you crying Sya?" Patting her head. In the midst of her heavy sobs, she said atok (grandpa). And slowly but surely, you will get your answer. (sometimes it is more difficult for some)

She said she misses her atok. She never cry when we leave her atok. I don't think it's really miss that she is feeling. I think she can sense her atok's somber mood . He seemed to be holding back seeing us go. It must be very lonely, all alone in the house. For the first time in your life.

Emotion overwhelm me seeing Sya. I sobbed quietly.

Now I am often surrounded by noise of the kids. Noise so loud and so chaotic, it drives me crazy. I must have driven my parents crazy too at one time. Perhaps there were moments they wanted me to shut up. I am quite sure there were. But now the house is quiet and empty. Loneliness can also be deafening.

And I would be leaving for Qatar soon. I can't bear the thought.