Thursday, April 27, 2006

Mixed Feelings

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I am leaving for Q@tar Friday 2045 (]apparently this is a different time than I tought earlier. So it's at 9p.m. not 4p.m.) flight Q@tar Airways. I wanted to go back on Thursday but there is only morning flight which I am lazy to take. I am leaving for KL today though. Taking the chance to register for Batrisyia's primary school, 2008 intake, just in case. *wink*.

Mixed feelings indeed for me to leave this country again. Naturally I am sad for my dad. A grown man, so used to a companion, living alone can be hard. Sigh. I just hope he can cope with it. I encourage him to join more games, other than the badminton session, to fill his time. I pointed out an archery club. He seemed interested. In fact I will suggest him voluntary work if he wants too. And I hope he will come to stay with me as soon as he can.

On the other hand I am excited to see my lover after a whole long two months. We have never been apart for this long. Man! I am in fact nervous. Tee hee hee.

Do I look fat? I have been eating good food so much, I seriously think I am building more curves than before. And my skin, oh dear. Staying in the hospital, I didn't bother much cleaning it. It's a bit coarse now I think. I went for facial. Then I trimmed my hair a bit. I bought some new clothes. One with a very low neckline, which Batrisyia didn't approve of me wearing it. (Why is it that all cute tops are so small and such low neck lines). But I will wear it on Saturday morning in Q@tar. *Winks.* Oh my! Oh my! I didn't bother with lingeries though for I can find better over there. They come in all sizes.

The other thing, this next trip to Q@tar, I must say I am a bit more relaxed compared to the previous. I was crying all the time then. Four months ago I left with a feeling of fear that I will lose my mother. The fear that became a reality. But Allah is merciful, despite all that, I had the chance to be with her, to talk to her even. An intense quality time together. I get to say everything I wanted. Forgive me Ibu for all the sins I have made towards you. I told her of my memories when I was a little child. To this she smiled. Such as it is, I am content. And I can go with a smile in my heart. She will always be with me. AlFatihah.

A new life is to begin. I will face it, chin up and all, with anticipation.

13 comments:

maklang said...

Al Fatihah...

Have a nice trip back to Qat@r

lion3ss said...

Have a safe trip...looking forward to more stories from there!

macho hensem n bersuara merdu said...

that's the sipirit.. way to go lolz.. low neckline this saturday huh..

woohooo....

~ahni~ said...

i leave my comment here

Take care.

A Babe Of Very Little Brain said...

in your previous postings where you recounted your loss, i didn't have the heart to leave a comment because i simply didn't have anything to say and i was afraid of saying the wrong things.

here's a hug for you. you've been strong, very strong indeed. i'm sure your dad will be able to hang on until other arrangements are made. hope your dad will agree to stay with you.

you take care now. and AlFatihah for your Mom.

Idham said...

safe journey back to Qatar...anytime u and ur family r in dubai or jeddah pls let me know, would be nice to get together...
i may go to Qatar and baharain in may.

idham.

aie said...

take care

loppiess said...

our names almost same..:)

anne said...

hi lollies, look forward to your domestic goddess postings.

lollies said...

maklang - it was an ok trip

lion3ss - soon after i finish clearing up :-)

macho - nampaknya tak jadi sebab terlalu sebok. baju pun takkeluar lagi dari bag :-(

ah ni - you take care too

babe - aku memang menyintai ko. sungguh

idham- so you in dubai or Jeddah? Send me a message if you coming over

aie - ko pun.bila nak update?

loppies - ah ah lah

anne - nanti sabar. tengah sungguh sebok

atenah said...

safe journey...erk dah sampai kan?

lollies said...

dah. heh heh. sebok daaa

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