Kenduri-Kendara

Mak mertua aku suka menganjurkan kenduri. Jika hajatnya tercapai : kenduri, jika dia rasa syukur : kenduri, dah lama tak kenduri : kenduri. Kadang-kadang tak perlu bersebab pun untuk mengadakan kenduri.

Aku mengaku, pada awal-awal berkahwin, aku memang agak kekok dalam suasana kenduri. Sekarang pun aku masih kekok lagi. Ibu jarang buat kenduri. Kalau ada pun bukannya aku tolong pun. Paling banyak aku tolong, aku belikan ais. Aku juga belajar masak sendiri, jadi kenduri cara rewang ramai-ramai membuatkan aku gelisah dan janggal sekali. Tapi aku cuba bawa diri semolek boleh. Biasanya aku ambik kerja mudah-mudah seperti susun barang. Pernah juga aku jadi tukang potong bawang, kentang dan pelbagai. Aku nasihatkan kalian semua, dalam majlis rewang begini silalah berpegang kuat kepada pisau tajam anda. Ianya boleh menjadi barang paling berharga ketika itu. Kerja paling susah yang aku buat ialah masak asi dalam periuk nasi yang paling besar kau pernah lihat. Takut juga nasi jadi mentah atau lembik. Turun saham aku jika begitu.

AKu mencadangkan untuk mengadakan kenduri aqiqah anak-anak aku semasa cuti musim panas yang lepas di rumah mak mertua aku. Jelas sekali kegembiraan mak mertua aku. Kami sepakat mengorbankan seekor lembu. Mak mertua aku beria hendakkan lembu itu disembelih di rumah. AKu turut sahaja. Aku rasa ianya pengajaran yang bagus untuk anak-anak aku. Mak mertua aku cuma mahukan kekecohan.

Rumah mak mertua aku dikelilingi saudara-mara belaka. Sehari sebelum kenduri penuhlah rumah mak mertua aku. Kecoh dengan persiapan kenduri. Yang lelaki melapah lembu, yang perempuan menyiapkan ramuan masakan. Timbullah cerita lawak diiringi gelak ketawa. Yang sernok pastinya jika ada yang melatah.

Anak-anak aku turut menyaksikan penyembelihan lembu. Monyok muka masing-masing, sedih gamaknya. Aku teringat masa aku kanak-kanak. Ayah ada membela beberapa ekor ayam. Ayah sendiri akan menyembelih ayam. Dia akan pastikan anak-anaknya samada memegang ayam itu atau berdiri disitu. Tiada siapa yang dibenarkan mentutup mata. Macamana nak jadi Pertiwi islam, kalau sedikit darah pun kau takut? Aku tidak membesar sebagai pertiwi, tapi darah tidak mudah menggoyangkan aku. Tapi aku tidak pernah diuji melihat darah mereka yang mengalami kemalangan ngeri.

Anak-anak aku pun turut sebok pada hari kenduri. Mereka di beri tugas yang mudah-mudah. Mereka mambantu mengisi kepingan wang kertas dalam sampul, mengisi jajan dan tuala muka dalam pek kecil, menyusun pinggan dan berlari kesana kemari. haziq pula ditugaskan mengisi air kedalam kendi danmemastikan kendi sentiasa berisi air sepanjang kenduri. Syabas kepada Haziq!

Beberapa rakanku dari Qatar turut hadir pada hari tersebut. Salah seorang dari mereka adalah jiran kekasihku semasa kekasihku masih kanak-kanak. Kekasihku meminta rakanku itu membawa ibubapanya sekali. Maka terjadilah kisah jejak kasih pada hari tersebut. Betapa kecilnya dunia ini. Buat baiklah kepada semua. Kita tak tau bila dan bagaimana kitaakan bertemu lagi.

Hujan renyai-renyai hari itu menyebabkan hari terrasa nyaman sekali. Dan kepenatan berkenduri kurang terasa.

Tapi, pada hari esoknya, pinggan perlu di lap dan disusun. Rumah perlu dikemas. Periuk-periuk besar perlu di susun di dalam stor.

Kenduri lagi tahun depan? Mungkin juga.

Oh ya, beberapa gambar kenagan terdapat di SINI. Tetapi sesetengah gambar mungkin agak mengganggu perasaan. Teruskan dengan berhati-hati.

So very tired

My flight was last Saturday. I went back to KL from Muar on Friday after the Friday prayers and stopped by at Melaka for lunch at my in laws.

Then of course she stopped me further to eat some jemput-jemout geragau and keropok. I wanted to leave fast because first of all I really want to avoid the evening rush hour trafic. But you knowlah kan. It was difficult to say I want to leave quick. Mak mertualah katakan.

As expected I got caught in the rush hour. Got home, took all the stuff into the house and quickly went out to pasar malam. I must and must have the ayam percik before I leave. I also went to get daun kesum and daun pandan. Hopefully to last a year in Qtar.

I was tired by then. Driving and rushing and lifting heavy stuff. Get the kids in order and only at 10 plus that I started packing. I sort of half packed earlier, before I left for Muar, but since I got so much more stuff after that, I had to repack.

And of course my bags were not enough. I had to grab another bag from my house (thank God ada) and pack all the spices in a box. Cleaned up the house and everything and slept at 2 in the morning.

I had only about 2 and a half hour sleep. Got myself ready. Packed up all the needed washed clothes and toiletries. Got the kids ready. Drove out at 6:15 in the morning.

When I got to KLIA the queue was bloody long. And that was like 7 in the morning for a 10:25 flight. And orang-orang dari timur tengah yang banyak bergaduh ni menyebabkan barisan seakan-akan tidak bergerak. Kuat bergaduh dan membawa masalah mereka ini.

I only got to check in at 9:50. I stood for so long queuing. To make things worst I wore my new shoes. And god damn it, I had blisters. Lover said,don't buy anymore cheap shoes. I shall oblige.

As expected my luggage excessed by 33kg. What do you expect with a one year supply of spices. I pulled out one bag and decided to check in the unattended luggage instead. That cost me RM22/kilo instead of RM60/kilo at the normal counter. Of course I had to wait for one week for it to arrive.

It was such a rush. And I hobbled in my goddamn shoes to do everything. At 10:20, I cleared everything and rushed into the boarding hall pulling the three children. I can't wait to sit in the plane and hopefully doze off.

The plane was delayed for nearly two hours. Ada lagi perbalahan kecil mengenai tempat duduk yang melibatkan orang-orang dari Timur Tengah. Sehinggakan mengeluh pramugara kepada saya yang rupanya seakan Jude Law minus the blue eyes and sharp nose itu.

I dozed off during take off. At least for 10 minutes. When I woke up, the kids were all sleeping. And they sept for a good four hours. I watched the in flight movies.

The one thing that I hate about being the only adult is the heavy bags. And I have many heavy bags. To pull it from the conveyor belt onto the trolley takes alot of my strength which I have very little off. By the time I got everything, I was seriously agitated. So much that I couldn't muster a smile seeing my lover grinning waiting for us. So much of mising him eh?

Than that night lover wanted to do groceries because there were nothing to eat for the week. Ayoooo.

So so so tired. I still have the uncleared suitcases. I think I will still live from it until all the clothes clear up.

Tired. Bloated. Pimples. Aching body. You guessed it lah.

Clear Skin Not

I envy those with clear skin. Those who have clear skin effortlessly. Those who can travel long hours and still have skin like porcelain. Those who can go through an environment change and their skin perpetually remains the same if not glowing.

I am not in the lucky group.

After about a month I was in the UK for my study, I had really really dry skin. I came with normal skin, and one day I woke up (it could have been a few days drying but I did not notice) and I could not smile. My skin was so dry it hurts. My lips chapped. The cold helped aggravate the situation.

I went to get help at the local Body Shop store. The sales assistants were really helpful. They gave me so many samples of moisturiser for me to test. So I realised then that I actually need moisturiser. Silly me.

Then I came back to Malaysia with beautiful skin. Everyone was commenting on that. It stopped when I started working. I started having those small pimples macam jerawat nasi tapi banyak on both of my cheeks. It didn't help because I had to go to sites and most of the time I had to stand under the hot sun looking at substations. I didn't know what to do.

There was this lady with wonderful skin. I asked what did she do. Did she go for facial. She said no. She just washed normally with off the counter brands aje. Lucky her.

I was going to get married that time. Ooohhh look at my skin as ugly as can be. It's almost like kulit durian. Finally I went for facial at a relatively cheap salon. It worked! Yayyyy! People even commented I had good skin. Thank God tak berbekas.

Then I remembered moving office. The pimples exploded again. This time medium sized ones. I remembered this era. My lover was err out of job. We were utterly broke. Forget facial. I had to endure my pimpled face. Hey I blogged about this once. Wait eh. Ah HERE

Then I moved to Qtar. A month staying there, more pimples come in. This time its those big sized ones and the scar refused to go. It took months for it to clear up. And two pimples will come up when the first one has not even cleared up. Those who met me when I came back when my mum was in ICU can attest to this. When I was in Malaysia for two months that time, I managed one facial treatment. Not much help I suppose.

But after sometime in Qtar, my skin turned normal. It still has black dots and spots. Batrisyia keep saying this. What do you expect, my face is those type which needs extra pampering. If use normal selfwash, nothing happen.

Anyway, when I came back some said I glowed. My skin so clear. Some said I looked younger. Wah wah wah biar betul ni. But they speak too soon. After a month here some rashes (so I thought) developed on my jaw. Then it spreads up on both of my chin. Then some of them have isi like pimples. I did facial once and yes some are isi. But I think the rest are unidentified explosion of skin. Small but yet so irritating to my hands when I touched it and my eyes when I looked at the mirror.

Bencilah. I don't know what to do. I really get worked up by all this. Low self esteem. Insecure all come in.

I am going back to Qtar tomorrow. When I should be looking good to see my lover, now I looked at my worst!

Exemplary

Your children imitate you. They do things based on what they observe. More often than not, you are their role model. Beware beware of bad habits.

I would prefer to brush Jack's teeth myself you know. But like all children emerging into independent individual, he wants to do it himself because he thinks he can. And I do oblige because he needs to learn.

I was brushing my teeth one night with jack next to me on a stool supposedly brushing his teeth too. I can see him looking at me. No no he was not just looking, he was watching. And he was imitating my brushing movement. Suddenly I found myself the need to brush correctly. Taking longer time at a spot. Doing the circle movement. Exaggerating at every stop. poking at the sides longer and looking like I am enjoying it. If he is going to learn, he'd better learn it the right way and not get corrupt in brushing teeth like I actually am. He copied this with such intensity.

And because I am trying my best to show him the correct way, I did with so much energy. Even more than my usual less than one minute teeth brushing. And with all the vigorous movement, I sometimes got my bangs into my eyes. I flipped my hair so that I can see better.

I saw Jack. he was doing that too. He flipped his hair. Hmm.

Let me do that again. Brush my teeth, and flip my hair.

And he brushed his teeth and he did it. He flipped his hair at the very same spot I flipped.

If in his future years, he brushes his teeth and flip his hair, that ladies and gentlemen is exemplary for you.

Moving Forward

Sometimes to move forward in life, you need to embrace it.

At certain point in one's life, we will become the person that people look to. As a role model. As an exemplary.

Say you are the first child. They say, get right with the first one, Insya Allah, the rest would be a breeze, if not better. The pressure the first child has to withhold. Not to mention, they have to look after adik-adik when they could be playing PS2 to their heart content.

A mother. A mother knows everything. What she does is the way of life. (That is until certain time. She will gain back her supremacy when she is really old thus truly truly wise)

A wife. Did you know that many times a husband likes or dislike on a person depends heavily on the wife's likes and dislikes? Woo your boss's wife if you must.

Then with Allah's will, you might found yourself not only playing a role as the first child but also sibling less. This is of course on top of your role as a sexy and goddessy wife and a soccer mum to your child. To boot with is a father who is wifeless.

What you do, how you react all are signs. A sacred, silent instruction for everyone to move. To act. To react. To accept.

I know some are happy to dispense advice. I do not want to hear cliche. I know what is right in the book. I dont want to hear what socially is right. It belittle me. You do not know what and how my life is. You think you know, but you do not. No one model fits all. Let me think for myself.

Responsibility is heavy. But it is ok once you learn to embrace.

So I am embracing. So some people can learn to accept. And some can open their heart.

And my dad can be happy. And there are more people to love.

Long Distance Thing

I had a little argument with lover the night before over YM. My lover, the macho man, sometimes refuse to understand me and like leaving me in a desperate needs to be consoled. Then we didn't get to chat the night after because he had a bowling game.

Last night, after a few nights of frustration, he was eager to talk to me. Especially after such a luring photo of Gunung Ledang waterfall. He also had been going out for a shopping spree over there. 50% discount on Mothercare. *Roll eyes* Obviously webcam is on demand to show what he bought and I would reciprocate by exhibiting me.

By 12a.m. malaysian time, he smsed me to get on with it. I, was, of course being the bitchier one wanted to punish him a bit more. Plus I was watching the cinderella thing movie played by Drew Barrymore. Romantic settings of 16th century, big gowns and all. I said I'll be there at 2a.m (Malaysian time)(I sleep very very late). He said he can't wait to talk to me. Actually me too me too. Who do I talk about the pictures I took if not with him. But I am an evil evil girlfriend. I said wait.

Ooohh I love that feel good movie. It suddenly made me feel like I want to tell him I am sorry and all. So really I cannot wait. I think I have punish him (me actually) enough.

So so so movie is finished. We got to chatting and webcaming. He showed all he bought. First it was Sya's dresses. Of course some are nice, one i jeered on. Then it started to rain.

I worry. I worry when it rains here. I would usually get disconnected. It was when he was showing Jack's lines of shirt that I finally get disconnected. Agggghhhh. I tried and tried. Switching off things. Shaking the wires. Nothing.

He smsed many times. I replied but apparently none of the messages were sent out. I ran out of prepaid! Huwaaaaaa! Not tonight.

We only got to preprepreforeplay. Of course it pissed me because he couldn't think of calling me lah kan. Hmmpphhh.

And today today I am going to KL. No internet. Huwaaaaa! For a week or so. By that time my pictures are obsolete. By that time really saying I am sorry will be slightly too late. Sure he can call. But YM is so so good for me. (he hates it though.) Worse by that time I would create another argument. My lover is very concise with words you see. And I talk too much! It makes me mad.

I miss him. I miss youlah baby.

Picnic at Gunung Ledang, Tangkak

Gunung Ledang used to be known as Mount Ophir.

I brought the kids there today to have a splashy cool fun day. I remembered when I was a kid, to have a picni at Gunung Ledang is really a big treat and a big thing. We didn't have a car back then. So usually when there were any rombongan or many of my dad's friend who asked us to join them, then we'd go. Going to Gunung Ledang would mean sleepless night the night before and my mum would cook her rolling eyes nasi lemak with sambal udang. I would have knots in the butterfly, too excited.

When I was a teenage I joined camping groups and camped there. I remembered going with a belia group. There were a few chinese guys from hulu mana entah who speak very little malay and some Indian girls pun dari estet mana who speak Malay quite well despite heavy accent. They were the best groups I have been with. Serious! I am not saying this afraid of my blog would be banned or something. We really learned a lot from one another. Every morning I would watch the Indian girl with her face washing routine that she claimed would keep acne away. She has clear skin. I think most of is turmeric powder. I don't know. It made her face yellow. She only eats and drink in her stainless steel plates and cups.

The chinese guys were chefs in some cruise boat. They cooked the best camping food I have ever had. I remembered they worked on some bamboos (was it?) and made us long chopstick for cooking.

I think I tried teaching them malay and sang dikir barat for our final show.

I have scaled Gunung Ledang only once all the way from Asahan to Sagil. One of the toughest mountains in Malaysia, I must say. Not that I have scaled many though. Just a few to tell tales. But I took this photo. Can you read it? ANyway it says it is the 64th highest in Malaysia and the sixth toughest mountain to climb. Too bad it didn't tell you the height of it. Google if you want.

Anyway, my kids had it easier. Now we can go to Gunung Ledang even at the spur of the moment like what we did today. The car journey which would take one hour and a half took us perhaps 40 minutes now that there are better roads, and I didn't have to cook nasi lemak. (I know OLAB did. he he). I bought KFC. (To Aliya, mesyet potete in Tangkak is quite good).

The legend about Gunung Ledang as probably some of you know is the Princess of Gunung Ledang who sometime go around as an old haggard, nenek kebayan. I heard so many stories about people meeting with them, either to face doom or to be granted with good things. When I was a young kid they told me not to use bad words here. Not to do any sinful things either...at that time it only meant no snogging. I heard countless stories of young couples dead, trees fall on their tent, lightning strikes. Basically do not tarnish this place. I don't know.

One time when I was scaling down, I met an old man. He looks so so, how shall I say it, like lights emitting from his face. There were many young men with him looking like pendekars. I remembered going down first but met them at the bottom. They got there earlier looking like they only had a 10 minutes walk, while I looked like my cheeks were drooping. They must know some very very short cuts.

Anyway, the kids had a great time. I didn't go up high though. One old man. One fidgety woman (me) three children...I think our spot was good enough. I remembered refusing to stop there when I was younger.

The water was great. Brrrrrrrrrr. The place still good. there are chalets now. People still litter.

We had a great time.

Pictures HERE

And Haziq became Nine

There is a lot about Haziq lately eh?

Anyway he became nine on the 14th July. The same day Gartblue turned older.

He is still the same boy in a way. Except with more knowledge than the previous year (perhaps?). Unlike me, he gets along with nearly everyone. He can speak both Malay and Enlish well. So in Qtar for instance, some kids only speak Malay and some kids only speak English and he can join any group, whereas the two groups rarely join each other. If you were drawing a venn diagram, he is the label where the two or maybe three curves lap. He avoids rougher boys though. He is not a toughie.

He is still an extrovert. With stories to tell and imagination to narrate.

Oh the other day we watched Harry Potter together. He said he liked the part when Harry was teaching his friends the spells. I said bravo. Teaching is a good way to learn more. it seems to leave an impact on him. We'll see.

Other than that he is a happy nine year old boy. Err I said man earlier eh? Heh heh

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Anyway I invited a few friends for Haziq's birthday the other day. It was more of a gathering with a few of my ex officemates who happen to have young kids like mine. So I cooked a bit and had little silly games with the kids.

here are some pics. CLICK HERE

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Other reads
HAZIQ IS SEVEN
HAZIQ IS EIGHT

7479

My brother told his fiance that his house number would be 7479.

That is my brother's grave's number.