A Year Now

It has been a year you know, since my mum passing. It seemed like it was only recently that I went through one month ordeal in and out of the ICU and aother one month staying with my dad after.


I missed her so much. I looked at the children, and I remembered how much she spent time with them. My parents are the ones who would nick my kids to the playground. (Yes rotidua, I am one of those who dera my parents to take the kids to the playground while lover and I bercanda. heh heh).


I blogged nearly everything during the one month, except for the last week before her passing. I couldn't cope with the emotion then. It was hard to visit her knowing that her time was near. I remembered a week before she died, the chief doctor came to talk to us, and said what was probably the obvious. She had been on the machine for a month. Her lungs shrinking, her blood pressure getting lower. In fact the level was at it was due to the medicine, her liver totally failed. They could not do dialysis on her because of the low blood pressre. They told us to expect the worst.

I can still remeber, how I tried my hardest to compose myself for the sake of my dad, for the sake of myself. My dad didn't understand the jargon. What he understood was, he was going to lose his wife.

I looked at the doctor and wondered, she must be tired. My mum is just another patient. Another number in the chart. Another statistic. I remembered telling her, treat my mum like she would be alive not like she would die tomorrow. She nodded. I trembled. Then I couldn't blog about it. It was too much and to pull everyone into the emotional drain..I don't know...seemed unfair at that time.

The days of the week were numbered. Everyday we looked at the blood pressure reading going down. Heartbeat readng going down. Yesterday, last year, her BP reading turned red. Do you remember I was cooking ikan bawal masak kicap in a sticky pan? We were all alerted to come.

But being here, in Qatar, sometimes make you forget and sometimes I feel that two month ordeal was just a nightmare. That she is around doing her cooking.

I was looking at some recipes for oh-so-very-often-pot luck here, and I found one that she use to make. I was in the kitchen. I got up to my computer, ready to skype her. Excited and all. Then I realised, OMG, what am I doing. This was last month. I sobbed.

Oh the pain is still there tugging my heart.

Thank goodness to blogging, I get to reread what happen during those days. It's all HERE and HERE. I read and am always reminded just how much she loved me. She couldn't speak then, but love, as you know, is a language of the unspoken.

Pay Back Time

Well, at least to certain extent.

The ASS organised a family sports day last week. Tee he he. I get to take pictures of sports day for I remembered to bring my camera. I am the official photographer anyway, haruslah ingat.

It was an exciting day I must say and I, lollies, live for excitement. I asked the teenage girls to paint, or scribble more likely, my face blue. Dino on one cheek and a blue scratch on another. I asked to make sharp teeth as moustache as well.

One of the ladies laughed at my antiques, and said hey you never haveyour own photo. You should look at your face. Then she took a photo of me, using my camera.



I tell you, I am jinxed.

Anyway I would have looked like this. Just add the sharp teeth as moustache though...and err minus the clean baby skin. Gulp.



However, I am not entirely happy with the photo collections. It was quite difficult to take photos as dynamic as a sports day actually. I had the evening sun which is not an advantage especially if you want to use fast shutter speed. But speed any lower would make the picture ghostly. I also had to fight for shots with eager crowd. If I use the telezoom, I had to sit far. If I sit far, people will block me. If I use the wide angle lens, I won't be able to catch the face expression.

Banyak hallah gua.

But I love the vibrant colours of the day.

Click HERE for more picture of the day.

Sya's School Sports Day

It was a beautiful morning yesterday. The sky was blue. The weather was perfect. It was 24C. The wind was blowing. Ahh you can see the little girl's hair caressing their cheek.

There was excitement in the air. The children came in their coloured shirts. Red, blue, yellow and red. All different hues and shades and different prints. They had to use their own shirt. It adds extra colour.

The teachers were busy preparing the props. Balancing stilts, hula hoop, balls. The teachers in casual clothes laughing among themselves.

I stayed on with Batrisyia's age group. Look at those cute five year olds. The girls in their pony tails swaying to and fro as they run. Some of the glamour girls flocked together giggling. Some stayed by themselves. And so many characters. Look at the eager boys. Jumping in triumph as they manage to complete a task. Look at the concentration in the children's faces. Some stick their tongue out. Aww how cute (Hi FD). And some threw the balls flimsily and run like walking on a runaway.

I mouthed throw hard to Sya when she is about to throw one. She threw hard. She got second place. She looked at me with a proud smile. I smiled back proudly and went to her and caressed her hair later. She was excited and hugged her girlfriends.

There wereso much expression. Laughing faces. Disappointed faces. Movement. Dynamic. Candid faces. Children make the best photo subjects.

Great weather. Perfect photo opportunity.

Alas I didn't bring my camera.

Apparently yesterday was mother's day

Haziq was harping about it last week when he saw some ads in the mall. I must get you something, he said. Then he kept quiet..but I don't have any money.

I said you can be yourself, that's enough for me.

Batrisyia sketched and scribbled something on a scrap paper.

But of course when you do have money you can always get me some bling bling. I didn't say this though. But in case one day he grows up and happen to be reading this. Hi children. Cartier ok.



Jack during his younger days. The song is dediacted to all mothers in the world with a message enjoy your mum.

An Empty Barrel

So now Haziq has advanced his Quran reading. Alhamdulillah. I have been s l o w l y teaching him the Quran. I am not a patient person thus an impatient teacher. Pity Haziq. Hope he can thank me one day.

However, I have decided to send him to the mosque from now on. I think it is time for him to learn from a better qaree. In the hope that his tajwid would be further refined, dengan mahraj yang lebih betul segala, better penghayatan, lebih berkat dan bacaan yang lebih sedap di dengar. This has been my nawaitu, my intention from the very beginning. Once I am happy with his reading, and when I do find a good Qaree, I will send him off. So would be the rest of the children, Insya Allah.

Ustaz said his tajwid is quite good and asked where did he learn before. Walauweh kembang seh (And thus empty barrel makes the most noise)

His class is on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. Our usual Quran reading time is every weekdays (Sunday-Thursday are the weekdays over here). I told him don't you think you can escape from my clutches.

Muahahaha. Evil laugh while rubbing palms together.

He would still need to recite the Quran with me on Wednesday and Thursday. I am hoping to tap his newfound knowledge. Tee he he I have other programmes with him on Sunday-Tuesday. *Insert more evil laugh.*

You see I found this great board game from Goodwordkids. Its called JUNIOR QURAN CHALLENGE GAME! And O.M.G it is really a great game. It is a board game with a stack of cards filled with questions about the Quran. Syiok gila. It is a shame to say that I couldn't answer some of the questions from the cards. *hangs head low* but because I am the champion of the house I win all the time. Err lover has not played yet. He is working. Peduliklah. I champion!



I believe Haziq learned a lot. For some of the questions that he is familiar with or the one that I have reference on, I will narrate to him on the following day. For difficult ones like why 7 for certain rituals, err ask ustaz.

I am eyeing their QURAN CHALLENGE GAME with 600 questions after this. Bila dah khatam beratus kali the game.

Go check out their website for other cool stuff they are selling HERE. But I didn't buy the games and books here. You can get it in MPH or most bookstores.

Meanwhile try these questions

Name the city where the angels Harut and Marut were sent?

Which prophet was sent by Allah to the Ashab al-Ayka (the people of the wood)?

When Allah made the dwellers of the cave fall asleep, an animal stood there constantly at the threshold. What animal was that?

The only slack was they did not put the reference ayat in the answer.

---

selingan semata

Berapa banyak bintang di langit kau kaji
Engkau hafali ya Sahibul Kahfi
Tak akan sama bintang yang satu ini
Yang engkau kenali didalam hati

Terang walaupun dia tersembunyi
Cemburukan matahari
Cahaya berseri-seri
Jika engkau kenali

Kita ditakdirkan lari
Jauh dari kezaliman
Terperangkap dalam gua ini
Hingga masa Tuhan tunjuk kebenaran

Mari ikut rentakku
Rentak tari dulu-dulu
Lagu marhaen sederhana
Di sini tiada duka
Terima saja dengan redha
perananmu dalam dunia

Kerana pegangan engkau hadapi
Dugaan ini ya Sahibul Kahfi Kamil

Kalimah kebenaran telah zahir
Tak usah kau ragukan
Kita datang dari Dia
Kita pulang padaNya

Banyak ayat mujarobat
Bisa menawarkan luka
Namun penyakit jiwa ini
Tak bisa di tawan tanpa penyerahan.

Celebrating the Little Things

We decided we need to pamper ourselves once in a while, regardless of the current situation. And what more when there was a reason to celebrate it for.

Haziq is moving another juz in his Quran Reading.
Batrisyia is now in Iqra'2.
JackJack can now control his pees and poos when we take off his pampers. No more spills.

Trust me I didn't lie. They were the reason we celebrate. We were celebrating us. We were celebrating the future pendekar and srikandi of Malaysia. The future generation.

I am female. I am a blogger. I am unemployed.

And I am shaping my nation with love while at that. May they don't become hypocrites.

Read Tengku Adnan's remark on female bloggers HERE.

The Sun is Hot

The ASS organised a football tournament yesterday. Round robin, 9 aside, 15 mins each half time. Slim as well as rounded men all chasing a ball.

I knew the sun would be cruel. I got myself a brand new hat.

---

Eh! Eh! Eh! Have you ever had a bad cooking day? Somewhat like a bad hair day, only on your cooking?

Yesterday must be mine.

There were two pot lucks, one in the morning for the footbal tourney and the other at night for Dato' Ismail Kamus's talk. I fried noodles for the former which the chilly wasn't too good, and pengat pisang (banana in sweetened coconut gravy) which turned out too sweet.

My theory : Unsettled mind makes bad cooking.

Thus ingredient for good cooking, is a clear mind and lots of luuurrrvvveee. Trust me, I didn't self claim myself as a goddess going domestic for nothing.

If you really really really have nothing to do you can check out the photos I took during the game HERE.

Lollies' Reads

There is this book meme that have been going about. A list of 100, some classic and some less, books that you have read. So I thought I want to have a go at it.

Bold - I've read,
Italicize - I want to read,
Crossed out - won’t touch with a 10 foot pole,
Cross (+) - on my book shelf,
Asterisks (*) - never heard of.
Underline - the movies of the books I have watched
Left unmarked - heard but not sure whether would want to read them


1.+ The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. * Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. *Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. *A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. +Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. +Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13.Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. *A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15.+ Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden) (Ondeonde gave this to me as my parting gift. Thank you OO)
16. +Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. *Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. +Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban(Rowling)must be the best harry potter book
20. +Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. *The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. *The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25.* Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. *The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. *East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert) (Watch the movie when I was young. not my kind at that time)
32. *The Notebook – (Nicholas Sparks)
33. *Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. *The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. *The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. *The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. *I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. *The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. +The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. *The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. *The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. +The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible
46.+Anna Karenina (Tolstoy) (Entah bila nak habis buku ni tak taulah)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48.* Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. *The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. *She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. *The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. +A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. *Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. +Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. *The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57.+ Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough) (I watched the mini series and up till now I remembered certain hot scenes)
59. *The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. *Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. *The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With the Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. *Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. *One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. *The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. *Catch–22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo) (I saw the theatre show)
70. +The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint–Exupery) (read it read it. Understand the word tame)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. *Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell) (was there a movie or somethimg?)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. *The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. *A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. *The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. *The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. *Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. *Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. *Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. +Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier) (and all Daphne Du Maurier. Went to Cornwall lagi)
84. *Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. *Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. *Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. *The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. *Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer) (And many other Archer's work)
91. *In The Skin Of a Lion (Ondaatje)
92. *Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. *The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. *The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum) (love the book but got confused with the french in it. Mosh remember when I was so into the book? Can't stop talking about it.)
96. *The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. *White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. *The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. *Ulysses (James Joyce)


My current read
It is unfortunate though that i read ever so slowly now. For a long time I am still on the Atlas of the Quran.

The kids read
Sya : Bunny my hunny(Anita Jeram) I love her books and illustrations
Haziq : The Twits (Roald Dahl)
Jack : Blue's Clues Series

You can do this if you want. Out of this mem I now feel like I want to read The life of Pi and lovely bones. I also want to go read my Alchemist.

AlFatehah to Nazrah's mum

The sky is still gloomy today but not much of wind. Seasons are changing. The heat is coming back. Woke up feeling gloomy only to get to the news of the passing of the beloved mother of Intan Nazrahayu.

I called her. She was on the way to Bangi. Calm but a lot in her mind. At least that's how I felt when we talked. Instead of giving her encouraging words, I broke down instead. It reminded me so much of myself. I am sorry Nazrah. That was so unbecoming of me.

AlFatehah to arwah and may she be placed among the pious. To Nazrah, I wish I could be there with you. To console our weeping heart.

A turn of Event

It was suppose to be the ASS sports day yesterday. I woke up early, made french toast for the fardhu ain pot luck. Then siang the dried chillies, boiled it and all. I was going to make fried noodels. Got the spaghetti boiled, sawi ready, cabbage, boiled the diced meat, thawed the big prawns. Then I started frying the chillies in my big pot. I don't have a big wok to fit in 1kilo of spaghetti.

A phone call came in. We had to cancel the game for there was a bad sandstorm that day. Looking at the yellowish sky and sand dust everywhere, any outdoor event is not a good idea. Now I have boliled spaghetti and boiled meat and sianged sawi and cabbage.

Many are ready with their pot lucks as well. So instead of a full fledge sports day cum makan-makan, we had an indoor potluck and a miniscule sports game.







Now those teams can be afraid looking at the talents. Some are discussing of import players, swapping teams and jesting each other house colours.

Someone commented that I look fatter.

Went home feeling fat. Looked at the boiled spaghetti and cooked fried noodles and ate full plate of them.

Mee bandung for lunch today. If I want to be fat, let's do it in style.