Friday, October 28, 2005

I Can't Cook

before that is....

I've never cooked throughout my teenage life. Don't blame it on me. Blame it on my mum. He he..she was never forceful enough to make me cook and I was so in love with the TV. I must, I must be whipped to the kitchen.

I couldn't cook before, even if my life depended on it. Well, that's an exaggeration, of course. I could boil water. Both using the electric kettle and the non-electric one. But I won't guarantee that there would be any water left in the latter, unless it's a whistle one.

I could..err..cook instant noodles. And mind you, I use pots, not just boil the noodles in a tupperware or a pail like some people. Excuse me, I may not be able to cook, but when I must be done in style.

And and and I could (and still can) boil rice WITHOUT the electric rice cooker. See see..can you do that? Even now? And mind you, the rice would come out nice too.

And I could do any camping food..baked beans and anything from the can. Yes I could heat up food..not using the microwave. Hah!

And I could toast bread and spread peanut butter on it.

Anyway enough of my bragging. My not so skillful days in the kitchen was really tested when I went to UK as a student. I got a house along with four other strangers. We agreed to take turn to cook. Actually, I silently did not agree. I mean sure you can survive with bread, fish and chips, flapjack, cheese and onion pie right? But cook I had to.

So in a real state of panic, I looked for some really easy recipe for me to start with. A nice kind senior who I was sure wouldn't tell anyone of my handicap, gave me the recipe for chicken rice. Hmmm looks easy enough.

So there I was, in one of the cold winter days trying to cook.

Made the soup. I cautiously put in salt and sugar so that I won't overdo it. The chicken soup is the mother of any chicken rice. You got it right on the soup, you are actually half way there.

Then I boiled the rice. Carefuly measuring the soup to be put into the rice. Hopefully it doesn't turn into porridge instead or worst, burnt!

Then acording to the recipe, it's nice if I can take out the chicken from the soup, marinade it in soy sauce, oyster sause, tomato sauce and later fried.

That's easy. Frying is easy. I can do frying. So I fried the chicken.

Then chop chop the garnishing for decoration purposes. At least even it taste awful, it would look good. Remember, in style?

But but but..I must have turned the gas too strong. My chicken was burnt! Black black chicken!

Die! Die!

I don't mind going hungry but there are four others who must be dead hungry by now. I did take nearly two hours doing this chicken rice thing. Yes that long..

Think Lollies, think! Cover up! Cover up!

So I sliced up the burnt part. Slice! Slice! Get rid of the evidence. Somehow out of habit, I popped some of the slices in my mouth. Hey! Wait a minute! This doesn't taste burnt! Not at all. In fact I must say, it tasted. ehemmm, quite good.

Then logic hit me, if you fried up chicken marinated with soy sauce and oyster sauce, which apparently are black in colour, the product wouldt turn up....err black?

Drool and salivate over my excellent culinary products now.


an0nymous-ign0ranus said...

aaaah my dear darling lolly, you are my heart my soul my life my goal (sebab dia rhyme).

i can't cook too. or rather, i refuse to cook. but theoretically, i can ajar orang how to cook. hahaha ... suruh buat sendiri, terus muka blank, terus kena gastric.

Ir. Hanafi Ali said...

I can cook nasi too, without using electric cooker.

What is so hard about cooking. Just follow instructions.

Angel Eyes said...

lollies my dear,

previously i didn't know how to cook (except goreng telur or instant noodle) but after kena 'piat telinga' with my mommy, then i terus menyesal and belajar memasak. So sekarang as i'm staying on my own, alhamdullilah i managed to handle all the cooking stuff. Easy task.

But it's okay if tak pandai masak, but kena belajar laa..

Lollies said...

babe - ko lah kekasih ku awal dan akhir

trust and angel - ayooo my entry's first line said before that I can cook oledi. You want asam pedas johor I can, laksa johor I can oso, my sets for raya memasak sangat sedap menjilat jari. Ini kesah dulu-dulu daaaa..

Lollies said...

cuma I can't cook like real traditional cooking you know that sambal with that buah i-donno-what's-it-call tu and other real traditional kueh and all. In short I can't cook lah..

Jo Kontan said...

But, but, you can cover it up with your photographic skills haa..kan kan

Lets the depth of field small, so the chicken will be the only thing on focus. On composition, lets the colour of the cucumber and tomatoes compliment each other. Use the haze lens for the smoky effects.

You know better. The chicken looks really YUMMYLICIOUS..

Lollies said...

jokontan - why is it that I don't seem to be able to get your blog address.

The chicken is truly truly delish. betul nah ambik sikit

elle said...


shidah said...

ayam hitam....yummyy!!!

Leen AshBurn said...

Well at least your ayam looks like an ayam and not landak keee, mutant turtles ke apa ke.

Selamat Hari Raya ye kak, mintak maaf jika ada salah dan silap.

Anonymous said...

elle - sabar..I dah buka dah ni..dekat pukul 8 ni hah

shidah - menjilat jari pulak tu

leen - ha ha ha...tapi you tere buat kueh melaka

Mak Hariz said...

ini mak hariz a.k.a. cikni tulis

jokontan nye blog url:

I pun xtremely x pandai (not tak tahu ok) masak and x economical langsung nak masak for such a small family like mine, imagine lah to cook fish curry with only 1 or 2 small fish, ruginya beli ajelah kari ikan seketul baru kena rm2-3

Lollies said...

yelahh kalau sikit sangat nak makan memang tak economical.

Kissman said...

apa kata puan ajak saya dan uncle riza pi cuba nasi ayam.

Lollies said...

boleh. Nanti mintak Riza calling-calling. sebelum tu anak saya tiga orang..siapkanlah duit raya sekali

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